Kaotu

So school is finally done (sort of... I'm writing a paper from home, but at least I'm home), finally back to the good old heartland out of lame Michigan. But I'm not spending my summer here in St. Louis... Nope,

I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come
I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come
They got a crazy way of loving there
And I'm gonna get me some.

I'll be standing on the corner
On the corner of Twelfth Street and Vine
I'm gonna be standing on the corner
On the corner of Twelfth Street and Vine
With my Kansas City baby
And a bottle of Kansas City wine.

Well I might take a train
I might take a plane, but if I have to walk
I'm gonna get there just the same
I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come
They got a crazy way of loving there
And I'm gonna get me some.

I'm gonna pack my clothes
Leave at the break of dawn
I'm gonna pack my clothes
Everybody will be sleeping
Nobody will know where I've gone
Cause if I stay in town
I know I'm gonna die.
Gotta find a friendly city
And that's the reason why,
I'm going to Kansas City
Kansas City here I come
They got a crazy way of loving there
And I'm gonna get me some.


Q: "What's so great about KC anyway?"

A: Barbeque.

That's all I'm doing this summer. Eating barbeque. Not just anyone gets a chance to eat KC bbq, which is a real shame. Perhaps you're familiar with "KC Masterpiece" bbq sauce. Of course that stuff only shares superficial resemblance to the real thing (plus you probably suck at barbecuing meat, if you're anything like the rest of the U.S. Don't even tell me Texas > KC bbq, that's a lie, although Memphis does have some good stuff, but KC is still the best).

Jack Stack, Zarda's, I'm sure the list goes on. Which is part of the reason I'm writing this, who is from KC and has recommendations. My goal is to eat only bbq when I eat out, I'll probably fail but it's a noble goal anyway. Where else is there but Jack Stack and Zarda's? I know there are plenty of places but I want to know what's good if anyone knows. Drop some names, locations, etc.

I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come
I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come

Hello TLnet.

In a way this site has altered the course of my life. I do not mean that trivially either; one fateful day, I was arguing in some old thread here on this very site that God exists (or something like that). Actually, to be quite honest, I'm not entirely sure what my argument was (I begin arguing with the thread on page 10, if you want to see for yourself), which says a lot about how developed my intellectual life was at that point (not very).

I was intelligent enough, however, to at least realize that what I was saying was extremely unclear, and bordering on incoherency (if not blatant gibberish); I realized for the first time that I had never thought critically about the beliefs which I held dearest. Given that I grew up in a sort of cult-like Christian sect (or, full-blown cult, depending on the definition of "cult" we're using), I suppose that this is not all too surprising.

What does make the story interesting, I think, is the fact that that particular thread changed my life. I was suddenly introduced to critical arguments against God's existence, and suddenly felt that I needed strong arguments to believe in God's existence. And so, I dove into the world of Christian apologetics (this was my senior year of high school). This lead me into contact with the study of philosophy more generally, which is today my field of academic study in college. While I am no longer all that interested in apologetics (at least in the classical sense of giving arguments for God's existence or what-have-you), I am certainly still carrying on to this day the personal project of clarifying what I think and believe, striving to match my beliefs with reality and what is true about the world, and striving to express my thoughts clearly (as well as simply thinking clearly). Not an easy thing, but TLnet has helped me in that journey in a pretty profound way, and so I thank you all.

(Although a silly side note related to that thread, reading a couple of things I wrote, I agree with something I wrote and that the thread creator seems to have missed. For one, the author for some reason conflated omniscience and omnipotence, and two, it is clearly not valid to simply assume that omniscience negates free will. You need an argument to get there, you can't just make that blanket statement. Especially considering that most philosophers, perhaps especially naturalistic philosophers, assume compatibilism is true, the view that free will and determinism go hand in hand. But, anyway, I do agree that if God has comprehensive and infallible knowledge of all future actions then we are not free in the meaningful sense; but I wouldn't bother to define omniscience that way. Puzzle solved (just kidding). Or... you could just read a lick of what theists have to say about it (say, read about molinism and open theism and other solutions) instead of arguing on TLnet about it. Ahem.)

These preliminary considerations now aside, I turn my thoughts towards the initial (poorly defined) purpose of this blog: some more or less random reflections on Christianity.

It is amazing that I grew up fairly convinced that Christianity was true with little to no doubt about the matter; I have difficulty now seeing how I used to think like that.

I think that like a lot of modern people, I really earnestly want to believe that something like orthodox Christianity is true; I want to believe that God loved the world enough to become one of us, and to die with us; I want to believe that this world will one day be completely redeemed and renewed, that our battles with disease, poverty, sin and death are not vain, a simple expression of our selfish desire to live and procreate, but rather an expression of a more fundamental need for relationships that transcend the grave, for what one might vaguely just call "meaning".

Of course, traditional Christian doctrine also teaches that the renewal of this world is bad news for the vast majority of humanity; most people will spend an eternity in apparently endless suffering.

To make matters worse, some Christian theologians have thought that this is somehow a joyful thing; Tertullian for one discouraged Christians from going to the Roman games to watch people be slaughtered... encouraging them that they would get to watch their enemies suffer for an eternity while in heaven instead!

Aquinas thought that from heaven, Christians would have the great opportunity to watch sufferers in hell, to eternally remind them of God's justice to the sufferers and mercy to them. And that extends to family members... He thought that watching them suffer eternally would somehow add to our state of bliss.

I'm not sure what to make of things like that. I don't feel like I need to raise an argument against these sorts of statements; but a great many people believe things like this, so I just don't know.

I have a hard time fitting "dogma" into the picture, you know? Why does God care what we believe? It seems to me pretty clear that it is his fault for giving us the improper cognitive equipment, if he actually wanted us to be able to come to belief in him. Honest and sincere people believe all sorts of differing things on the fundamental issues of human life; it seems like if God wanted us to all be Christians just from thinking really hard about it, then honest truth-seekers would all be Christians. Such is not the case.

I do find a lot of value in Christian morality, and even in the Christian moral life. I'm not just talking about "Christian values" in the American evangelical sense (sex only when married, and then only with the opposite sex, and while living in affluent white suburbs); I mean something more like the Christian tradition's sense of ethical cultivation. You know, virtue ethics. Human flourishing which springs from a denial of self, a cultivation of love for neighbor, and so forth. Of course it might seem silly to some to equate the elevation of human flourishing with specifically Christian virtues; but I find a lot of good in the Christian tradition's reflection on such issues.

What do you do when you cannot shake your hope that Christianity is true, that Jesus rose from the dead, and yet cannot shake your doubts about a huge handful of Christianity's central claims? Just reject what you doubt and accept what does work for you? That seems dishonest somewhere.

Do we have power over what we believe? I don't know. I don't think so, to be honest. I doubt that we "decide" what seems true to us. In some ways I can't shake the Christian faith; I cannot shake my hope for it, I cannot shake my belief that Christianity brings hope for this life and for the next, though I suspect that most Christians are rather confused as to the hope we have for this life. And I should probably count myself as one of them; I believe that living as Christ has the power to transform lives and to end in human flourishing, but the details are a bit tricky.

I cannot look in the face of an honest, truth-seeking practitioner of another faith, even say an honest and compassionate atheist, and hold to the belief that I have something they don't. That I somehow am saved, and they somehow damned.

I also cannot look to the cross and tell myself "no, this is a lie". Maybe I look at it as I look at poetry; but even in my most skeptical moments, I am suspicious that something was happening at Easter, something historical, and something true, in any sense of that word I can imagine.

I also feel "wishy washy"; I don't want to construct a God or a religion; and I certainly don't want to construct a God or a religion that is impotent, or believe in either of those that cannot change the world.

And yet I've resigned not to believe in changing the world.

I do dream of changing maybe a life or two, including my own; maybe living simply all my life, maybe living among the poor rather than the affluent, and learning from them and helping them in return wherever I can. But that is certainly a long way from changing the world.

If you read any significant portion, thanks for your time. Feel free to reflect here as well, whether critically of me or in agreement with something I've said, or simply to share and express some of your own thoughts on the matter. I think religious debate is all too easily a debate that happens between those bitter against religion and those who, for ease, I'll dub "fundamentalists"; I suspect that those sorts of debates are anything but productive for anyone.

I cannot get out of my head how good these albums are. The reputable source here is me. If you don't believe that I am reputable, you will change your mind when you listen to these albums. Also, this isn't rankings, this is just some albums that are good.

10. Dream Theater - Images and Words.
If you know anything about my music taste, which you didn't until just now (which is misleading), then you know that I criticize DT night and day. Frequently I discuss just how laughable some of their material is (for example, "Dark Eternal Night", which is the worst song ever invented). I would say that DT is the most disappointing thing since it was discovered that Kate Beckinsale is a man. Now, Kate was not discovered to be a man, so you just have to imagine how disappointing it would be if that was discovered, and then think that DT is even more disappointing than that.

So why this album? It's really good. Take the Time is without any doubt the best song DT ever put out, and I'm half convinced that someone else wrote it. Probably Jon Anderson (Yes), but in the 70s.

But seriously, incredible drumming from Portnoy (as always), but this time everything else is good too, except the lyrics which are still kind of cheesy but that's ok because they fit. 80s metal meets prog, but not ala Queensryche, ala something that sounds really good. I don't know why DT stopped being artists after this album.

9. Aerosmith - Rocks
Now, Aerosmith has put out a lot of terrible material. That is obvious. They are also not musically genius. That is obvious. But this album Rocks. that was a lame joke but it does. "Back in the Saddle" full of swagger and sex, but the good kind. With Steven Tyler? No, that's not what I mean. I mean this whole album just grooves. Really good, way better than anything else from these boys.

8. Soundgarden - Superunknown
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "cmon man black hole sun is not even that good". You're right, it's not. But this album as a whole is stellar. Chris Cornell's vocals are probably the best there ever were, as far as its usefulness in rock music. Some people fantasize about Kate Beckinsale (now you feel weird about that dont you), I fantasize about what it might be like to sing like Chris. I don't even know how it would feel. That much power, energy, range, emotion... Good album, more versatile than their earlier stuff, more rocking and useful than their last album following it.

7. Tool - Lateralus
Incredible album. I don't want to have to convince you, if you disagree than you've probably misunderstood tool. I think most people have, actually. They're so much better than that.

6. Genesis - Selling England By the Pound
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "isn't that the band with phil collins from tarzan". Yes, but he's playing drums at this point. If you like prog (you should), then there is no reason that you should not like this album. "Firth of Fifth" alone is worth the price of admission (which is free these days, ruckus.com). Really creative exciting and overall great musical experience.

5. Jeff Buckley - Grace
Is this the greatest album ever? Maybe. Incredible album. Every single song, maybe with one or two exceptions, is perfected. Take Eternal Life for example. At first its just a killer rock song, but then you listen to it more and more and you have no idea how to make it better. In fact, you have no idea how it got so good. Answer? Jeff Buckley is the most amazing singer ever. Does that contradict my claims about Chris Cornell? No. They are both the greatest ever. And they were friends too (wikipedia.com), imagine that.

4. Opeth - Blackwater Park
Opeth is my favorite band. I don't like death metal. How is this possible? I don't know. If you aren't surprised by how good Opeth is, then you haven't listened to enough songs. Sit through this album and if you aren't convinced then throw away every t-shirt you own, not for any reason, just because you need punishment of some sort. if you have no tshirts you are off the hook (but still an idiot)

3. Opeth - Still Life
This is the same album as above but better. It's more ethereal or something, in a way its more metal in a way its less. It sounds like mozart, wagner, and the cookie monster all got together and put together beautiful, dark, exciting music.

2. Yes - Close to the Edge
It this album good? Yes.

1. Temple of the Dog
This isn't really my favorite album i don't think, but it gets the #1 spot because I think everyone should own it. Everyone. There is no excuse. Chris Cornell's vocals are at their all-time high. So much emotion here. Beautiful album, its grungy which might turn some off or others on for the wrong reasons, but it is worth your time

This is a blog designed to inform, educate, and in the worst case scenario, inspire. I’ve been in two long distance relationships at this point, one good and one bad. I’ve learned a tremendous amount about long distance relationships through these, and because of this I feel obligated to pass on some of my wisdom (or, perhaps more accurately, to warn you with my folly). Considering that there is, it seems, a fairly large population here at TLnet who need all of the advice they can get regarding matters of women, I figured that this blog might help at least someone.

I’ll cut to the chase, with a song which my girlfriend actually saw on Nickelodeon while babysitting:




Once you’ve listened to the tune, you’re now in the right state of mind. Long distance, so they say, will kill you. On very rare occasions it is worth it; the vast majority of the time, it is not. This is not a promotional blog. I cannot offer you anything more than honesty.


The Table
The pros:
When you do see each other, it is “more special”

The cons (a small percentage of them, anyway):
You do not get to see her very often; you can’t just go see her whenever you want
Lack of eye contact makes conversation less exciting
Lack of eye contact also makes bumps/fights more difficult to handle
Lack of physical contact
Lack of physical contact amplifies bumps/fights


And there are many, many more, most of which are obvious. Your biggest problems are pretty foreseeable, but I would like to emphasize how difficult it is to manage problems solely over the phone. You won’t always have to, but unless the “long distance” we’re talking about is short enough to be able to spontaneously go see each other, you will be managing most issues over the phone.

Another related issue which is very important is this: relationships cannot grow unless you’re spending time with each other (that is not to say that time apart isn’t important for growth; it is). This should be fairly obvious. However, here’s the problem: the only way for you to “spend time” with each other in general is going to be through some sort of long distance communication: written (mail or online) or verbal (phone or online).

Why is this such an issue? Well, for a few reasons:
1) Physical contact is missing from that list of the forms of long distance communication. I’m not even just appealing to your horniness; aside from the fact that you’re not “getting any”, there’s the serious problem that physical contact is very, very important for fostering a relationship. It affirms desire for each other, it builds closeness, and is generally more emotionally bonding (especially in times of trouble) than, say, a chat on the phone.
2) If you run out of things to say on the phone, it’s dead air. There can be non-awkward silences over the phone while in a relationship; but they are much shorter than they would be in person, and they need to be further and fewer between. That means that you and her must find things to talk about. Constantly.

Now, related to 2) above is this: if the two of you generally get along great over the phone, then you’re going to build a lot of closeness which you might otherwise fail to have. You’re not going to be able to simply comment on the situation all the time, as in a real date; instead, you’re going to be learning all sorts of things about your lady friend. You should not always try to have “deep” conversations, but they are inevitably going to happen. Don’t force them, but they will come. Yes, that’s right, this is actually a positive thing about long distance (but it’s a costly benefit no doubt).

Long distance is very telling in a relationship, and if the relationship is no deeper than the physical aspect, then it will fizzle out with blinding speed. Whether or not this is a good thing depends on your perspective; if you’re still on board for a long distance relationship, then here’s some practical advice:

- Plan on talking very regularly. How often is dependent on the couple, but it needs to be consistent. This means that phone conversations (or online, or whatever) need to become a part of your schedule.

- Related to the above: I recommend setting up a regular time (weekly is good) for a phone date. This means that you do not make any other plans under any circumstances for this time of week: this evening or whatever it is, you and your lady friend are going to enjoy each other’s company over the phone. I’d suggest talking for at least an hour during these times, although the amount of time will definitely differ between couples. But either way, this gives you and her something each week to look forward to together, even if it sounds silly (it’s not). Optionally, you can make it more special by going somewhere specific (the park or whatever) while talking to make it more of an event.

- Buy a webcam. This is not so that you can see her naked, this is so that you can occasionally look at each other while talking. It’s not nearly as good as just being together in person, but it’s a nice tool and you should utilize it.

- Send her things. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just send her a card or whatever. Put some thought into it. This one is applicable to any relationship, but getting mail in a long distance relationship has some special significance.

- Don’t get too upset about conflicting schedules; you have to be extra understanding and patient in a long distance relationship.

There are “long distance dates”, which you can try if you’re looking for something to keep things going:

o Watch the same movie at the same time, and talk on the phone about it while watching it together
o Do some sort of craft or something together (I don’t know – get creative here if you’re interested).
o Battleship. Send her half, you keep the other half.
o Online cards or checkers or whatever together.
o Etc… Get creative.

Outside of specific questions, that’s it. Long distance relationships are strange things, but they can work. I wouldn’t recommend pursuing one for any reason, but if you really dig a girl and long distance is the only way (you’re both about to go off to different schools, for example), then take some of the advice in this thread and count the cost. It’s doable, but you will suffer. Long distance relationships will kill you. Proceed only if you’ve considered the cost.