Spud Warfare is a Nasty T

I was just staring at rain hitting the ground outside and then I imagined myself as a raindrop. its 4 am and I can't sleep so I wrote a story about it. then some other stuff came into my head

Story
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I peer down at the earth, amazed by the brown, blue and green. Up here all I have are different shades of white and black. Often I wonder if I should let go of this world and plunge down...to approach this shining heaven beneath me.

One day, I decided to go. I dropped out of my sky and down into the winds. I fell, stunned by the beauty I was fast approaching. I watched a mossy-soft plain turn into a rougher sheet of green. As I came closer, I watched everything become more and more defined...more and more complicated.

I dropped into an incredible place--but I didn't pay attention to that. Just before I landed I saw a man. I was surprised when I realized his eyes were searching above for heaven.

In a flicker of a moment I gazed back up and I was shocked to see a ribbon of colors elegant and rugged resting against weightless, massive clouds.

The loser puts n00b as their middle name on facebook for a month.

I play P, he plays Z. I have like a 60-70% win percentage vs him, but we basically only play on python. We're gonna be playing on 5 different maps, and I basically only know 4 gate/2 archon. The only cheesy build I have is a 2-gate.

He's gonna be practicing hard as hell, and I'm reciprocating. But I want as much help as I can get because theres no way in hell I'm putting n00b in my name

I'm looking for a PvZ coach. I'm really serious about drilling, and once I get the layout of my workload for this week I'll have time when I can and can't practice.

Even if you're just willing to play with me once and give me advice, I'm up to it.

fair warning: I rage sometimes, but give me a couple minutes to throw shit and I'll be back at it.

Lasgen on iccup and USEAST. Post here or pm me if you're willing to help and I'll try to get as much play time as I can.

I'll have more information (when exactly I'll be playing and the maps I'll be playing on) soon.

I look forward to playing with you all.

Its 2 am, I still have to be up, and I don't have any snacks left. No delivery services open because I live in some po-dunk college town where everything closes. No microwave because we (me + roommates) decided to put that in the sleeping room of my 2-room living space (? wtf?)

I've been eating cuties and drinking water. I've got a little baby pumpkin from halloween thats lookin' mighty delicious right now

help. what do i do

Me!

Any decision I've followed through and all the activities that have shaped my life up until now have been because of random reasons.

-Baseball: T-ball through Sophomore Year in HS.
-->I found a baseball glove when I was little.

-French Horn: 6th grade-Now
-->Heard a song on the radio. Heard the FH, thought it was absolutely beautiful.

-Japanese Class: 9th grade-Now
-->Didn't like the other languages offered. We just dicked around. Then I went to Japan summer before junior year with a school trip. then I buckled down and got serious in class

-Soccer: 4 practices in 2nd grade before I quit, Recreational 7th-8th, Select 8th-10th And HS 9th-12th
-->I still don't know. The first time I ever played soccer I absolutely hated it. Then spur-of-the-moment I went to try out for a select team in 8th grade and made it.

-Tennis: 9th-12th grades.
-->I missed the mandatory meeting for baseball

-Wrestling: 9th-12th grades
-->Was walking home the day after soccer was done and hear weird noises down the hall. Investigated, found my schools wrestling team practicing, thought it looked cool and joined.

-Truman State University: currently sophomore
-->The girl on the brochure was hot.

-Social Fraternity (pledged last semester)
-->Guys showed up at my door and invited me out for chinese. Free chinese dinner? hell yeah

Now this final one just happened. I chose my major to be communications because the other day this girl came up to me while I was eating and started telling me about how awesome this flavor of ice cream was.

Seriously. But let me explain:

While I was talking to her, I wasn't thinking about the conversation; words were coming out of my mouth automatically. It was like my brain was on autopilot and just going while I, the pilot, could do other things. So I was asking myself "why did she come over here to tell me this?"

all these reasons flooded into my mind and I truly understood the meta-conversation going on in the current conversation for the first time. This is intensely interesting to me.

I'm also going to be an Asian studies minor, and most likely a music minor too. I'm trying to think of some jobs where all my skills could be applicable, but so far I'm drawing a blank. Hell, given the way things happen for me in my life I'll probably end up working for NASA for reasons I don't even know yet.

While I'm at it, I'll give you a little look into my life that I've never really told anybody IRL about. Things happen uniquely favored to me. I've always thought: The world is unfair, its in my favor. I feel a desire for things, and then they happen. i.e. today I was walking back to my room from class and people were clogging up one side of the sidewalk. There was a group of people playing frisbee nearby. There was enough space that one person could walk through, and this guy was coming from the other direction.

I realized that he was gonna get to the space first so I was gonna have to pause for like 2 seconds. Not really a big deal, but I was tired and wanted to get back. So I did this weird thing I do where I dredge up and intention and project it. I can't really describe what I do, I feel it well up in my body and then just shockwave out from right around my neck. My intention this time was "I will not stop." Suddenly, a guy playing frisbee right off the sidewalk was about to throw it. Instead of throwing it to another person (complete opposite direction of the sidewalk) he holds onto it for too long and it whizzes past the face of the guy I would have had to wait for. He pauses with a "whoa" and then stoops to pick it up, giving me enough time to walk through.

That's uncanny and coincidental. Things like that happen to me all the time. Another little thought experiment I do with projected intentions is on trees. I read some study where plants show a reaction on polygraphs based on human intention. Whether true or not, its just a fun thing to think about for me.

So last week I projected really good and nice intentions on this one particular tree (its massive, has acorns, and I walk by/under it all the time). I have to walk under it to get to my favorite dining hall. Last Wednesday I was walking to breakfast and I saw 2 people standing just before the trees branches started. As I got closer I heard the noise of acorns falling, just tons and tons of acorns hitting the ground. I kept walking and when I was just about to get to the point where they were falling they all stopped. I walked under, and as I got out the other side I heard acorns hitting the ground again.

This week, I decided I would project the intention to burn the tree on it. I did that, and today as I was walking underneath it (in the middle of stream of people) I got hit with an acorn. No wind, no other acorns fell, just me getting hit by one.

The moral of the story: Think nice thoughts about trees.

I just spend the past hour talking with a guy while we were riding exercise bikes. We ended up talking about ghost stories, and so I'll share 2 of them (one of mine and one of his). Whether you believe in ghosts or not, I don't care. I like getting scared and if a story can do that I'm happy.

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This one is his. He went to a private Christian high school. One day during classes one of his teachers gave a presentation on the weird history of the school. Some time ago, the teacher (who was the former principal turned teacher again) was attending midnight mass (theres a church built into the school.) The priest there finished the service, and everybody went home. The priest went to go pray in front of...I forget the word but I know its like the center table/altar thing, and he died in that spot.

These schools also have dorms. To get to the dorms from the school part the quickest route is through the chapel. Also fyi, the place where the priests stay used to be old photograph development rooms, and so they have one window on the door at eye level.

Him and his friend were walking through and his friend had been absent on the day of the presentation, so he goes "You know a priest died in here. in that very spot actually" when they got to the chapel. so his friend goes "you know what would be really creepy? if there was a guy working in one of these rooms and he looked at us when we walk by."

So they keep walking through, peeking in the little windows. Then his friend just stopped, like not just stopped walking but physically froze. "hey brendan, brendan, whats wrong? hey brendan" and looked through the little window

while we were riding the bikes his pedaling kind of just died out and he was looking at me most of the time he was talking. his eyes went from me and he was kind of looking up over and past me staring at a point. then he said "I don't really know what I saw. It was just kind of like a white mist, and maybe...what looked like an eye, a nose, a nose for sure, and a mouth." then he looked at me really ernestly "but it could have just been lights or something"

my friend e-mailed that teacher who gave them the presentation asking for a picture of the priest who had died. he printed it out and went up to his friend and asked "do you know this guy?" his friend looked at it for a split second then had a really violent reaction to avoid looking at it anymore. he can't look at the picture of that priest now.

so they both just booked it the hell out of there and to their friends room. Later that night, after some recollection, they went back through the place. not a single worker was there that night, no lights were on and not a computer or anything. everything was turned off.

This one is mine, and its probably the weirdest thing I've experienced. You might or might not know about S-bar F scout ranch in Missouri. If you don't, its just a massive piece of land with various camps and different places on it.

Me and a friend were walking to a place called Castle rock. It's just a large place with rocks you can jump around and stuff. On the path there, theres a spot that forks off into two trails. We were just getting close and I started feeling bad. Not quite bad, just...contradictory. I don't know how to describe it because its not comparable to anything else I've ever felt

We got up to the fork and I stopped. I was feeling horrible. my heart started racing and I felt something there was wrong. I looked and I distinctly remember seeing charred logs and a rock that looked like it didnt belong where it was sitting (like it had been dragged over or something). Because of that, I remember the exact spot I was standing.

Kind of anticlimactic at this point but the feeling built up so much I turned around and started running back to camp. My friend who was with me didnt feel a thing and was like "what are you doing?" So I thought it was just me bugging out.

But several years later I go back to castle rock with my troop. We typically come on the same week. The spot I was standing on had been marked off. I asked what happened and learned that the time I had been there before, almost to the day, a man had murdered a woman and buried her body in that spot. He didn't bury her deep enough so the smell seeped through and she was found.

Two problems for me to solve over the weekend:

1. Here's a problem I've been trying to solve. I haven't figured it out yet. You start with this:

[image loading]

The goal is to go through each line segment once. You can't go through the same one twice, and you may start wherever you like. One continuous line.Here's an example with the wrong part circled
[image loading]

2. I'm back in my hometown on break from college. My friends attending community college are bored as shit. None of us are 21, and I wanna do something with them to shake things up. Nothing illegal unless its hard to get caught. Open to ideas

my thoughts so far are ranging from:
triple-date w/ random girls
golfing off of various roofs
prank war with somebody

but its cold as shit and rainy outside, so outside ideas are gonna have to be cancelled. We don't know enough people in town to have a good party, and we don't know anybody over 21 who we could reasonably ask to get us anything. After my taser incident I'm not sure I wanna drink either

open to ideas. anything and everything will be considered except obvious trolling

The last thing I remember doing last night before midnight is walking to a pre-party with a girl.

The next thing I remember is regaining my awareness doing push-ups to keep warm in the drunk tank at the local police station. I'm still piecing this together, but so far I've learned that I hijacked a cake, threw cake at everyone, and was generally incredibly belligerent. My acrobatic attempts rise with the amount of alcohol in my blood. Cops showed up and I had to be tasered not once, but twice before they could get me under control. I now have a MIP charge against me and a court date in a month. AND I got a badass black eye

I generally don't drink, let alone get hammered. I have an open container at parties and might sip from it, but I don't need to drink to have fun. Last night, the girl I was with wanted me completely hammered.

My game plan/questions:
1. I printed out a log sheet. I am going to go to several AA meetings before my court date so I can actually see how alcohol can affect peoples lives, and I'm also going to try to log as much community service hours as I can.

2. Should I tell my parents? Technically, my fraternity wasn't involved. It was a childhood friend who did this. I might make mistakes but I own up to them and improve. This is a mistake I'm not sure I want them knowing about. I don't know if my home address is notified, because if it is I'm kinda effed and I should tell them immediately.

3. Basically, this is my first offense of any kind. I have never been to court, and I'm wondering what I should do. I'm an eagle scout and otherwise good student/person, so I figure if I seem honestly remorseful and show that I have learned from this experience the judge won't be too harsh.

4. Attorney? I'm sure as hell not hiring anybody.

5. Pre-pay fines and just don't deal w/ it?

Any advice is appreciated. I'm looking to lose the least amount of money.

I can't sleep. I was reading through Micronesia's insomnia guide to get some help, and I came to a section on psychologically restructuring her brain. Whoa...I just typed her. Whatever. Anyway, last week I decided I'd try something. I was really awkward in a situation I wasn't ready for. I thought "I am comfortable around women in any situation." I thought that over and over. Four days later I was playing dota with a friend next to a high and mighty sorority chick working on some shit. I had fun talking to a girl about dota for the first time. I even made it seem cool enough she watched me play it and asked questions about it.

I wanna practice this.

From Micronesia's Insomnia Guide
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How can I begin the process of Cognitive Restructuring to help reduce my NSTs?

Well, simply by reading the guide up to this point you might already be feeling better about sleep and having reduced NSTs. Of course, this is not the best you can do. If you are truly a sufferer of insomnia then you will want to make a daily effort to recognize and replace your NSTs. NSTs are automatic so identifying them is not always easy. The program used by Gregg Jacobs for treating insomniacs involves keeping a daily journal where you record and reflect on your NSTs (you can refer to his program, but you very well might not need to; this guide's goal is to help you!). Even without use of a journal you can make a conscious effort to identify NSTs and scrutinize them until you find more positive and realistic thoughts that are more appropriate. Something I found was that each NST you replace with a positive one makes it easier to continue the process of cognitive restructuring! Here are some tips:

1) Rather than think "I don't think I can fall back to sleep" a more realistic thought might be "I always fall back to sleep sooner or later"
2) Rather than think "I'm not getting as much sleep as I need" think "I need less sleep than I thought"
3) Rather than think "I already can't get 7-8 hours of sleep" think "I'll be fine as long as I get my core sleep, and even if I miss some of that I'll be able to make it up easily. All I need is a positive attitude about my ability to manage sleep and my daytime mood will not be affected that much.

We're in a jam!

Sup TL. I just had a dream and this time I didn't meet god or whoever, instead I met someone even better.

It starts out where I'm going to this funeral. The church is an ancient one in the middle of some city, and it's closed casket. It's for a really old guy who didn't ever get a name, but I knew everyone there at the funeral. At some point I need to get away, and I walk away from everybody. Then I find this place off in a remote section where the wall is missing, and its covered by a gritty metal mesh. I hear noises, so I tear the mesh off and sneak down the hallway.

There is a man who is completely pale white slamming the ground with his palms, and he's incessantly screaming at the top of his lungs. He's just moving crazy, so I sneak out and leave. When I get back up to the funeral some mishap led everybody to find out the coffin was empty.

I realize the man I just saw is the joker. Not the heath ledger joker, or the cartoon, by my version. And he's completely fucking insane and kind of brutal. There's just that sense to him he knows what he's going to do, but nobody else does. And even he's not quite that sure

Fast-forward: In my high school theres this place where the only entrance was an alleyway, and that was covered by a fence. Theres a big "hole" in the school where hallways and rooms just go around it. There are no windows, doors, or any way to see what's back there. I never knew what was there.

In my dream, crime has basically stopped. Batman has made the city clean, so I was walking around. I hopped the fence and found this giant place back there. It was named "The Hitchcock Facility". I'm walking along until I find the joker. He's tearing posts off a fence and hurling them around. He's pissed because batman keeps beating him. So I decide I'm gonna help him..I walk up to him and go "You have a minute?"

"I've got an hour." He stops tearing stuff off. I talk to him, let him know I'll help him beat batman once so the city goes back to normal. So we're both walking off, about to trunce batman and right then my roommate's really loud alarm clock goes off. It blares a random radio station and the particular one it chose was playing some real heavy metal. I woke up feeling like a badass because the ending to my dream was like a movie, music and all.

I'm not sure if this dream means I'd help evil to bring things back to normal or if I'd just do it for my own amusement.

But I can tell you the most important thing I learned: I'm down with the joker.

Last saturday I went on my second real date with this girl. She's never had a real boyfriend, so before we started making out for her first time she was turning bright red. It was so cute

Today I'm heading back to college. In minutes, actually. It's 3-4 hours away from my hometown. I just got back from her house. I left 2 roses tied to a note on her porch. One real, one fake, both her favorite color. The note said "I'll be thinking of you 'till the last one dies." I called her first but she was asleep, so I texted her there was something on her front porch. I needed to get the car back asap, so I ended up missing her by 5 minutes. EFF

Normally I don't tell anybody about my dating life. I just feel like being open right now. The reason I'm writing this blog is because I've spent the past decade trying to get out of my home town--and now, after I'm finally gone, I truly want to stay. I've basically stopped messing around with girls at college because I can't get her out of my head.

I remember a moltke quote, something about how napoleon had conquered nations by the time he was my age, and now I'm crippled by earth's gentlest creature. Well the backside of life's hand is called irony, and it just bitch-slapped me in the face. Life isn't fair, it's in my favor..I just need to figure out how.

All of you who are looking for your Prince or Princess, look closely. And when that moment comes that you've found them, no matter how short, capture it.

And then, if you're like me, blog about it.