The Beginning

I just need to vent. I'm not looking to brain wash anyone or be an asshole... I just need to vent and tell someone because it's a relationship in my life that I've only told 1 real life friend and he's not available to talk right now.

I'm in love with this really cool, smart, funny and surprisingly beautiful girl. I say surprisingly because I know she can do a lot better than me. Anyway.

Our relationship started off with lust, just making out and eventually sex. Recently though, we seriously just fell in love with each other. I know we can all be skeptical but just for the sake of my blog, just believe me when we say we love each other. But she talked to one of her close guy friends who doesn't know the whole story about us but just knows that it started off with us just touching each other.

He told her that he thinks I'm just "using" her. She doesn't believe that and I'm happy she doesn't because it's not true. So whatever, things were going great recently until she saw a movie with him tonight and another friend.

Her and I were supposed to meet up at her place and sleep there around 1AM but she was still out with the friend when I called her. She was telling me how they watched a gory movie and she ended up grabbing his arms, squeezing his hand, etc. She proceeded telling me that they are really close buddies and they just do those things together.

Then something inside me just snapped. I just got all like, "Well whenever you're feeling down now, just talk to him, etc etc", she said that although she has fun with her friend, she prefers the way she feels when she is with me.

I don't know why but I responded with, "So I can fuck one of my friends who's a girl but I can defend it by saying it wasn't love and that I only love it when I do it with you?"

Obviously I'm jealous that she gets along with this guy friend more than she does with me. But actually she has a few guy friends that she does the same stuff too and she even sleeps in the same bed with this homosexual friend of hers but I really don't care. I trust her.

It's just this specific friend who thinks I'm just using her that is pissing me off. All I can think about right now is that she is comforted better by the guy I fucking hate. I don't even know him but the fact that he talked shit about me without knowing me kinda bothers me. If it was the shit talking alone, I wouldn't care. But the fact that he's like so close.,, I dunno.

If you've read all of this. Thanks. I just needed to vent.

I recently turned 21, got a gf, we started doing it, etc.

I got a blood test today and wow, I was never so scared in my life. Because I started reading up on HIV/AIDS

Wtf... you can get infected from almost anything and might not even find out about it for 10 years (Unlikely but possible)

I have to wait a week for my results but my girlfriend wants me over tonight.

She recently got a tattoo and returned from a trip from Mexico and didn't get a Hep C shot.

As much as I love her, my recent paranoia over this shit is telling me not to touch her. I'm not saying I think all infected people should be shipped away. NO NO NO.

But I'm scared that I've been so uneducated and I don't want to be irresponsible because is HIV really worth an orgasm?

Would it be reasonable for me to ask her to get tested before we do anything? I mean, I also got tested today just for our sake (We plan to spend the rest of our lives together)

I admit it. Especially after last night.

The hottest girl I've ever been with and we ended up laughing and joking around instead of humping.

At first I couldn't even unhook her bra. Then I was talking aloud to myself in order to make sure I got the condom on correctly but then when it was on, I think the blood flow down south stopped and it got all soft and wouldn't even go in.

FML

I got so frustrated that I took the condom off and threw it aside. Once I got hard again, I couldn't put that condom back on. WTF, I didn't know it was so difficult to put back on an opened condom.

Anyway, for all you noobs out there. It may seem lame to plan ahead, but fucking plan ahead.

Because shit happens.. like it did to me =\

I'm hook on this show and it's making me want to become a doctor! (Lol.. yea right)

I'm looking for some help though

I'm not sure of some of the terms they use like..

"He's an attending" Is that a rank or something?
I know what an intern is... but aren't they all doctors?

Wtf, I knew there normally would be some sort of head doctor in a normal hospital but now I'm all like whoaaaa

So many different ranks; Anyone care to explain to me?? (In Grey's Anatomy terms?) =D

What does "pro gear" mean?? =]

I've been searching through ads on bands looking for new members and they always say pro gear.

Does that mean as a guitarist, I must have a guitar that is worth $2000 and an amp worth $1000 and a shit load of pedals?

Anyone in here play music seriously or in a band.
What is the cut off mark for shitty gear and pro gear!!??

=) thanks

I got a brother who used to call me a dumbfuck for years... like through middle school through high school. Anything I did offended him. Being on the computer, watching the TV too loud, taking too long to shower, not washing HIS dishes after he eats, not sweeping the floors of our place. (We're supposed to split chores but since he's older, he forced everything on me)

My parents were divorced and he lived with pops while I lived with my ma. My ma and I have a 2 bedroom apartment, which we're living in right now. He came back to us around middle school for whatever reason and took my bedroom forcing me out to the living room on a futon. But honestly, I don't really care.

What I do care about is how he comes home late at night at like 2am, making noise, cooking and listening to music on the computer which is in the living room, keeping me up all night when I have either school or work tomorrow. Imagine having insomnia for months on end caused by a guy you hate and who acts like he's the "man" of those house when he does jackshit. And... he brought his girlfriend to live with us without asking for permission. Basically, randomly one day a strange girl comes to our small apartment and is now living here. It's been 4 years and I still don't like her. What the fuck is she doing here? He's not paying any rent.. it's not his apartment. My mom even says what the fuck but my ma is honestly too passive to do anything about HIM or HER.

And it's not just he would get mad like a mother would, he threatens to punch me in the face. If I ever said anything back, we would have a fist fight. He even threatened to "kill" me plenty of times while I did not return those lines. He also told me once never to call him my brother ever again.

The worst thing he did probably in terms of violence was hit me on the side of the hit with a cue-ball and sock. I ran away from home after that incident but have returned. That was a couple of years ago though. After so many years, I became very isolated from him, not staying home, doing things where he couldn't find any reason to bitch at me for like reading a book silently.

A while ago my dad passed away and ever since then he has become the exact opposite of what he was before. He tries to talk to me, tries to watch tv and eat dinner with me. But any time he tries one of those things, I basically piss off and just read a book or give him the silent treatment. I don't know why but there's a giant.. giant void in my heart for him. I want nothing to do with him. He's like 26 years old with no job and still living with us. His girlfriend too... and she only has a part-time job. I'm turning 21 this year and even though I'm in university, I work but not just for my own allowance, I try to give as much as I can to my ma. He only takes. Like he did from my wallet today and 2 weeks ago without asking.

Still, I can see that he is trying to improve our relationship but somewhere in my past, I decided that after I graduate, I'll move on with my life and leave everything behind me except my ma. That being said... I've met a lot of people in my life and I don't know how, but they have gotten along so well with their siblings. I mean, they actually hang out in public, have some of the same friends, play music together, whatever.

They can butt heads but still be there for each other when they need the most.

I know that my life is my life and I am happy for it. I am not miserable...

I know that not everyone's parents are together and I know that not everyone is rich... or is in a Ivy League university or whatever.. but I've seen so many people have a sibling that they get along with that it seems so reachable.

I always wonder what that is like. Although I want to be forgiving as the good Lord says, I think my brother really took everything out of me.

I'm truly envious about a relationship like that.

Hey guys~

lately i've been shifting from computer stuff towards basketball, exercise, studying languages and reading. (mainly for the sake of my body.. i've been feeling really tired on the computer and i don't know why)

anyway, i've started picking up the urge to read, hehe.

i was wondering if someone could recommend me some books that were similar or not similar but had a strong power'ness' to the harry potter series? or books like "A long way gone" or the stephen colbert book.

i wouldn't mind comedy, fantasy, biographies. no lord of the rings please;

*i think a series would be fun=)

Hey!

I'm entering my 3rd year of my undergrad but am trying to seriously plan out what I can do for my graduate studies if I choose to pursue that path but I don't know a lot of people going into the liberal arts department. Most of the grad students I've met at the University of Toronto are all science and I am hoping that there's a group of other grad students on TL.net

I am looking towards Drama, East Asian Studies, Linguistics or Journalism for grad studies but mainly journalism at NYU or Harvard Extension School. I am not DEAD SERIOUS about getting into those schools or the journalism stream yet but my curiosity is as high as it can be. I read on the school sites saying they require at least a B average and a undergrad in the liberal arts.

So, can anyone tell me any experience they've had with grad studies? I was also reading and found out that I have to provide my own funding for my thesis topic? How do I choose these topics? Also, Harvard says that I have to maintain a B throughout my time in grad school and if I do not complete it in 5 years, they retire you from the program. Is this a common thing or it's just a precautionary measure by the university?

Also, since I want to attend an American school and I'm from Canada, are there extra fees I have to pay as an international student? How accessible are the loans/grants and scholarships at American universities?

Lastly, if anyone knows of a more reputable grad school for journalism or any other topic I mentioned before, could you help me? Thanks!

*I have e-mailed the universities but I have always found that student feedback was way more useful

YO!

I'm sure that I'm not the only sneaker head on this forum.

I like kicks like the Pumps, AF1's, etc. Funk style, whatever.
But of course, it's impossible to find those types of shoes around here for some reason (Toronto, Canada)

I found a lot of these kinda shops in Montreal, a really fashionable city but now that I'm back home in the T.O, I'm stuck with shitty plain shoes. So anyone know an online store that is TRUSTWORTHY and that ships to Canada??

I found this site but no reviews on it KIX-FILES.com
Anyone think it's ok or should I stay away.

Thanks

I went a couple of weeks ago to get my eyes examined and it ended up that I needed glasses to see far away. Like lecture halls or to see street signs from far away.

I wanted to find out whether I was 20/20, 20/40 or w/e
But on the piece of paper the doc gave me, it said

Left eye = -1.25
Right Eye = -1 or -1.35... something like that

What the heck does that mean?