Step 2. Get a TA position for the coming year.
Step 3. Decide to take three graduate courses:
--one of which is a weeder class for electrical engineering grad students, is mathematically rigorous, and generally one of the harder courses the university has to offer with an insane professor. Weekly homework assignments that take roughly 15 hours each and near-impossible exams will be helpful in convincing you that you are a terrible student.
--another CS grad course which is mathematically rigorous and depends on a linear algebra background. Be sure you have no such background so you have to learn it as you go. The fact that the professor begins with the most difficult material in the course and assigns crazy difficult homework will be essential in making you confident that you are indeed being raped.
--another CS course with annoying projects and homework constantly being assigned. The fact that you find this class easy will be offset by how boring it is and how terribly it is taught and organized.
Step 4. Get heavily involved in a research project. Spend large amounts of time trying to fix bugs and hurdle small issues instead of being able to focus on what is important to you.
I'm not sure how well this plan would work for the rest of you, but by following it I have definitely met my goal of getting completely raped in graduate school!
Seriously though, I'm so tired and can't wait for this semester to be over. I really took on way too much stuff my first semester in grad school and am constantly in a rush to get everything done on time with almost no time for significant breaks.
Finals are over in two weeks so I'll finally be able to relax for a bit. The good news is I managed to do well enough in my research to secure an RA position for next semester, so I won't have to spend time TAing in order to get my funding and can focus on research instead.
Hope finals are going well for all the other university-goers here!