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One thing that I've been thinking about is how you get rid of the girl when you wake up in the morning? Do you offer her breakfast or give her a ride home? Let's assume it's a ONS.
Well my friend the options here are plenty. Let's assume that you have successfully placed the lady in your own home, more precisely in your own bed. The night comes to an end and you both fall asleep at 3-5 in the morning. Now you've gotta be smart, if mom comes home from her nightshift at 8 you're best off pulling a "day-before" lie but if you live alone in your golden bachelor pad it's more tactical to be a little sporadic.
A "day-before" lie is something that makes sure an end will come the next day. This means that you pliantly add a few words on the way home in the cab or when you both lay naked in your bed while she is moaning to your tongue-esque skills around her neck area. "I've gotta get up early and work out in the morning", "I promised to walk my neighbours little dalmatin", "gotta buy newly baked bread for the sunday coffee" or the classic "I've gotta get up in time for the booksale." Then they will already be prepared to take their stuff and gtfo of your life as a proud single for good as soon as the sun is up.
But if you don't want to bother and make the effort of planning that far ahead there are plenty of solutions to make her scram. One that I use quite a bit, that works best on fridays is to "accidentally" drop her keys through the window. That will trigger her to free willingly dissappear in the form of a sprint. If you don't like that one you can "offer her breakfast" to seem like a nice person, just remember that before she answers you add "though I've only got some old christmas crisp bread and homemade room temperatured liver paté." It's a guarantee that she will get out without even visiting the bathroom to fix her fucked up hair. If you want to seem like an oriental god you should do the "other-room" trick.
Now on the "other-room" trick you make sure to wake up, or atleast get out of the bed first and walk out of the room. Close the door behind you. The girl will now be unsure on what the hell is going on, at first she will assume you've just gone to the bathroom. About 20 minutes later she will come out of the room, all dressed and puzzled. (This is where the trick get's a little diverse - if she remembers your name she will shout for you across the pad, however it is most likely that she doesn't and then she'll walk right towards the front door.) If she remembers your name you will have a tactical hideout behind the sofa with supplies, water and salami sandwiches. You will hide there until you know she's gone.
An important thing to add to the notebook is that you never ever give her breakfast. No ONS is worthy of that.
Good luck.
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you should watch what Barney does in how i met your mother, season 2 or 3. he has the perfect workaround on how to get rid of a girl the next morning.
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On February 01 2010 20:31 ffswowsucks wrote: you should watch what Barney does in how i met your mother, season 2 or 3. he has the perfect workaround on how to get rid of a girl the next morning.
lol I was thinking of that too!
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On February 01 2010 20:31 ffswowsucks wrote: you should watch what Barney does He turns into a plush toy.
Such a baller.
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On February 01 2010 20:36 Severedevil wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2010 20:31 ffswowsucks wrote: you should watch what Barney does He turns into a plush toy. Such a baller. hahahaha what the fuck
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On February 01 2010 20:36 Severedevil wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2010 20:31 ffswowsucks wrote: you should watch what Barney does He turns into a plush toy. Such a baller.
Brilliant, exactly what I was thinking!
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On February 01 2010 20:31 ffswowsucks wrote: you should watch what Barney does in how i met your mother, season 2 or 3. he has the perfect workaround on how to get rid of a girl the next morning.
What does he do again? I cant seem to remember much from season 3 and before
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On February 01 2010 20:36 Severedevil wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2010 20:31 ffswowsucks wrote: you should watch what Barney does He turns into a plush toy. Such a baller. Hahahaha so good.
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That's why you always go to the girls place (Since yours is being "renovated") and then just peace out when she falls asleep.
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i lol'd at the hide behind sofa with supplies
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"Do you have a mirror?" yes, in the elevator *point at front door*
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You wake her and tell her you have a train to catch in 20 mins. Obviously there has to be a station nearby, or else you'll look like a dumbass.
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On February 01 2010 20:30 Boundz(DarKo) wrote: If she remembers your name you will have a tactical hideout behind the sofa with supplies, water and salami sandwiches. You will hide there until you know she's gone..
Hahaha, I love it.
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Pull a Barney: Get a gal-pal to come home and pretend to be the angry girlfriend.
Lose that bitch fast.
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do what quagmire does
"you're still here?"
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On February 02 2010 00:36 Tex wrote: Pull a Barney: Get a gal-pal to come home and pretend to be the angry girlfriend.
Loose that bitch fast. i think it's actually the angry wife =)
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On February 02 2010 03:41 duckett wrote:Show nested quote +On February 02 2010 00:36 Tex wrote: Pull a Barney: Get a gal-pal to come home and pretend to be the angry girlfriend.
Loose that bitch fast. i think it's actually the angry wife =)
Either will work.
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I don't like this thread or find it funny. I really don't understand it lol
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On February 02 2010 05:09 KurtistheTurtle wrote: I don't like this thread or find it funny. I really don't understand it lol
When bitches be coming over for a one night stand you dont want them to stay and get all clingy..you gotta get them ho's out..This man is doing work for the good of mankind.
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On February 02 2010 05:09 KurtistheTurtle wrote: I don't like this thread or find it funny. I really don't understand it lol
im assuming you've never had a ons before then, or at least one where she ends up staying at your place. For when you do be sure to remember stuff like this, god can it save alot of pain
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On February 01 2010 20:30 Boundz(DarKo) wrote: If she remembers your name you will have a tactical hideout behind the sofa with supplies, water and salami sandwiches. You will hide there until you know she's gone..
LOL brilliant
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On February 01 2010 23:55 LoStYouRSkiLLS wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2010 20:30 Boundz(DarKo) wrote: If she remembers your name you will have a tactical hideout behind the sofa with supplies, water and salami sandwiches. You will hide there until you know she's gone.. Hahaha, I love it. i loled so hard irl
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Salami Sandwiches has a nice ring to it. I guess it's the alliteration.
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I don't get it. Just tell her to leave if you don't want her there anymore. Girls aren't super dumb and realize this won't be a long standing relationship. If you go to the lengths to hide on her, you obviously don't care about her so just tell her to leave. Fast, clean, simple, easy.
Jeeze, sounds like the only vagina you get is your own : (
One night stand is boring anyway. So vanilla.
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