Citizen Kane is the best movie of all time; Army of Darkness is the most awesome movie of all time.
Whoops. That's the whole post condensed into one sentence, isn't it, but stay with me - I called you here for a reason.
You see, I'm a big fan of horror, adventure, science fiction and fantasy films, especially ones that expertly blend one or more of these genres to create the definitive experience. To me, some of the most enjoyable works of cinema are the wild rides like Mad Max, the inspired science fiction stories like The Terminator, and spirited adventure films like Highlander and Indiana Jones. From the peak of post-apocalyptic masterpieces to the lamest of sci-fi, from the most spirited adventure films to the most sublime of Japanese horror, the really fun rides are the keepers, and the rare films that genuinely manage to creep me out are worth savouring.
I was savouring this film from inside the fucking closet
True to the Christmas spirit, I decided to bolster my collection of films involving horrible mind rape and explosions. To that end I spent a few days scanning IMDb and various on-line stores looking for films I've always wanted, or always wanted to check out. The result was a 44-item shopping cart worth $850 and an almost irresistible urge to press the "order" button.
...Oh, and I'm not done.
Current list of items in the shopping cart
- In The Mouth Of Madness
- Army of Darkness
- The Call of Cthulhu
- Re-Animator - Special Edition
- Tremors 1-4
- Highlander - Special Edition
- 1408 - Special Edition
- Dog Soldiers
- Dead Snow
- Heavy Metal
- Underworld - Rise of the Lycans
- Ghostbusters 1 & 2 - Delxue Edition
- Robin Hood - Men in Tights
- Airplane Collection
- The Complete Naked Gun Collection
- Starship Troopers - Special Edition
- Monty Python's Flying Circus - The Complete Series
- Monty Python - The Movies
- Låt Den Rätte Komma In
- Punisher - War Zone
- Sherlock Holmes
- Prince of Egypt
- The Fifth Element
- The Neverending Story
- Mad Max Trilogy
- Das Boot
- Oldboy - Special Edition
- Universal Soldier - Special Edition
- Escape from New York - Special Edition
- Dark Water
- Versus - Ultimate Edition
- The Wicker Man - Special Edition
- The City of Lost Children
When you read that list, you probably said to yourself, "why isn't this movie on there?"
Indeed, why isn't it? And what is this movie and why should it be on there? See, there's a lot of awesome stuff I haven't seen that would be right up my alley. The Wicker Man with Christopher Lee? Supposedly the best non-horror horror film of all time? I haven't seen it. But knowing it exists, I really want to.
So, fellow fans of the extraordinary, what are your favourite films? Which ones should I add to the list, and - if you have the time - why? Of the ones already there, which should I prioritize, and which should I skip entirely?
Recommend whatever films you want, and I'll gratefully look them up. If you want to know more about my taste in films first, I'm happy to oblige. Besides, it's my blog. Talking about myself is mandatory.
Since writing intelligently about my tastes and ideologies would require actual effort, however, I've slapped together this bullet list instead.
- Highlander is glorious. The premise of this modern day fantasy movie set to the rocking music of Queen is absurd beyond words, but it takes itself so seriously that it simply works and in the process becomes something completely awesome. In the end, there can be only one.
- Evil Dead is a great movie. Army of Darkness is fucking awesome.
- Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior is the second best sequel ever made. The first one is Aliens.
- Pitch Black spoiled me on good, fun sci-fi horror flicks. Too bad we never saw the Riddick character in anything else ever again.
- Sleepers is a great movie. Rain Man is a great movie. Forrest Gump is a great movie. I don't want them in my collection.
- 28 Days Later is excellent. 28 Weeks Later is atrocious.
- I didn't like Unbreakable. I'm not sure why.
- The Thing, Evil Dead, The Sixth Sense, Alien, Drag Me To Hell, The Ring, In the Mouth of Madness, and Event Horizon are among my favourite horror movies.
- If you recommend any PG-13 horror movies I will stab you in the testicles with an ice pick. If you don't have testicles, call me -- I'm a nice and nonviolent person!
- I'm a huge H.P. Lovecraft fan, which is why it's so disappointing that Lovecraftian films are almost universally bad. Of course, I'll still pick them up anyway. Except for Cthulhu. I heard it uses gay people and social rejection as a metaphor to tell the story of The Shadow over Innsmouth? I mean what the fu
- Guilty pleasures include Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme, and Van Helsing, Titan A.E., and the Resident Evil movies.
- Inception is not an intelligent film.
- Doctor Who, third series, episode 10. Have fun.
- During the Star Trek vs. Star Wars feud, I was firmly on the side of Babylon 5.
- I like martial arts movies. I thought Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was a pretentious let-down.
- I thought Batman was better than The Dark Knight. I thought The Dark Knight was superb.
- I'm often drawn to great soundtracks. Think ending theme to Gladiator. 1492 Conquest of Paradise. Blade Runner.
- Avatar barely qualified as mediocre.
- I like Constantine. I bought it twice. Both DVDs, for unrelated reasons, are unplayable. I'm not buying it a third time.
- I like Identity. I'd watch it again if I could erase any memory of it beforehand.
- Day Watch was the At World's End to Night Watch's Curse of the Black Pearl. I MEAN SERIOUSLY IT WAS ALL A FUCKING DREAM ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME SPOILER WARNING
- I don't like most Stephen King movies. Same location, same protagonists, same horrible supporting cast. Huge buildup, no payoff. The Langoliers was kinda fun, though.
So please, fellow fans of the extraordinary, recommend your favourite films. If I've not seen them I may do so, and if I do, I may talk about them here from the viewpoint of a fan of the style and the genre. With me, you'd know where I'm coming from.