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On March 28 2011 08:08 Offhand wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2011 07:26 Hakker wrote: I basically found out she was smoking because a few weeks ago she asked me if i could buy a lighter for her, since she's underage, which i told her no. Over the next few days my mom kept finding cigarette butts in the sink, but our father was out on business, so it couldnt be him. Then earlier today I was in the mudroom and found a pack of cigarettes inside her jacket pocket when I was looking for some gum.
Your sister isn't trying to hide her habit at all. Unless your parents are totally oblivious, I think they'll figure this one out in their own time.
Yeah sounds like she wants to be found out. My little sister did this exact same thing when she was a teenager to force a confrontation with our father.
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Hyrule18775 Posts
Smack her. A lot.
If someone had beaten the shit out of me when I started and told me not to start, I wouldn't have. It really sucks to be a smoker :<
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I wouldn't do anything about it. It's her choice, whether your dad is a heavy smoker or not. Just because she's smoking now doesn't mean she won't ever come to the realization that she might end up like her dad. That and you will put a pretty hard dent in your relationship with your sister as well. Even if your mom doesn't tell her you told her, I'm sure she's smart enough to figure things out. If it was hard drugs or something then I'd be a little worried.
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On March 28 2011 08:27 oceanblack wrote:Show nested quote +If you value your relationship with her, talk to her about it. Ask her why, and if she gives you a reason, just let it be. You can't make choices for her, and you can't force her to stop. It's her health and her body, so let her figure it out. You're an idiot. If she gives you a reason, help her deal with that situation. Just to let her kill herself with smoking is going to bust not only your relationship with your sister but the entire family. You cannot let her do this to her body. You know that it's wrong, unhealthy and stupid; you can't just sit idly by while she slowly deteriorates herself. You don't force her to do anything, but you must make any and all efforts to convince her to stop smoking and relieve any stresses that may be causing this. I'm sorry but all this talk about not doing anything is just retarded. Forget the short-term "shock factor" and think about the long-term! What if your sister becomes a chronic smoker and falls into the same condition as your father? I would appreciate it if you didn't call me an idiot for no reason. Besides, what you say is what you are.(^_~)
The biggest thing is she is 16. If you're a 16 year old girl(which you might be), you don't know what's happening, what's wrong, or what's going to happen any better than any other girl or guy at that age.
Obviously if she's taking it too far and smoking a pack a day, a pack in a week, you do something about it. But if she's just fucking around and "trying" things out, let it be. You don't fuck shit up because you're being an overreacting fool. It's her life, let her live it, and let her make her own mistakes. I've made a million mistakes in my life, and I've only learned from them. I tried smoking, I did it for a while, I got over it. It wasn't worth it. In the end, she'll see that too. :/
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Find the name of the most popular dude in school and be like 'hey sister, do u think that so and so of the football team will make out w a gurl who tastes like smokey asshole, because I don't LOL!!!' and just continue to get worse with the insults until she stops
you could also start printing out a jpeg of the day for her of someone's tarred out lungs, or you could do the math for a pack a day for a whole year and just keep bringing that up. It will surely come out to the cost of a car
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United States24342 Posts
On March 28 2011 09:31 Hawk wrote: you could also start printing out a jpeg of the day for her of someone's tarred out lungs, or you could do the math for a pack a day for a whole year and just keep bringing that up. It will surely come out to the cost of a car If a pack is 10 dollars then a pack a day is $3652.50 a year.
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On March 28 2011 09:31 Hawk wrote: Find the name of the most popular dude in school and be like 'hey sister, do u think that so and so of the football team will make out w a gurl who tastes like smokey asshole, because I don't LOL!!!' and just continue to get worse with the insults until she stops
you could also start printing out a jpeg of the day for her of someone's tarred out lungs, or you could do the math for a pack a day for a whole year and just keep bringing that up. It will surely come out to the cost of a car I overly enjoy these ideas. LOL.
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Technically, it's not illegal. She can't purchase cigarettes, but it's legal for her to smoke them.
That said, I like Hawk's idea.
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On March 28 2011 09:34 micronesia wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2011 09:31 Hawk wrote: you could also start printing out a jpeg of the day for her of someone's tarred out lungs, or you could do the math for a pack a day for a whole year and just keep bringing that up. It will surely come out to the cost of a car If a pack is 10 dollars then a pack a day is $3652.50 a year.
yeah thats a good chunk of change for most of us here. that's a fucking fortune at 16.
shit man, i still want to punch myself in the dick every time i think of how much daily coffee at work costs me and that's a fraction of the cost. people think of things a little differently when there's a number there.
but yeah, knowing a lot of smokers and addicts of various other things, you wont influence the person by being passive. you have to be a huge dickhead (without going to the parents... i'd say that's last resort)
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It's a bit of a tough situation. I currently have a troublesome younger sister that has been caught smoking, stealing money, overdosing and other things. She's also quite a bit younger than your sister.
Could go on for a while about this situation but I don't want to hijack your blog.
My advice is to leave it alone, as in don't tell your parents. If you are really close to your sister, then eventually conversations with her will naturally end up on this topic. If you focus on stopping the smoking, she'll just learn to hide it. So the only way to help is to approach it carefully to find out why she's smoking and try help with that.
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What does why have to do with it? some people just like the physical act of smoking. others like the taste, and maybe some wanna be some kind of badass on the playground. The reason really doesnt matter; one's as dumb as the other
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On March 28 2011 07:29 Raeleigh wrote: Don't tell your parents. If my sister did that to me, I would be so angry with her, and I honestly wouldn't talk to her for so long.
If you value your relationship with her, talk to her about it. Ask her why, and if she gives you a reason, just let it be. You can't make choices for her, and you can't force her to stop. It's her health and her body, so let her figure it out.
And don't rag on her to stop, either. It's only going to irritate her and make her dislike you. ;o
What a selfish way to look at life.
Let people abuse themselves ... disregard the consequences to themselves and the moral/psychological effect on those that love you ... so you won't be labelled a snitch? Are you really being serious?
Did you not read the part where OP expresses his already present disgust at the way his father is throwing away his life? And now he sees his sister going down the same path and you recommend he should just sit on his hands in solace, and despair. Even still, you assume she will surely learn on her own to stop ... how can you even say that not knowing anything about the girl, her family, her external influences.
If I would have to name only one thing that truly annoys me about smokers, it would definitely be their selfish hatred of others that try to get them to stop the habit. That your family and friends express true and honest concern about your health and well being ... to shrug that off because you are so addicted ... such weak individuals.
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On March 28 2011 09:57 Hawk wrote: What does why have to do with it? some people just like the physical act of smoking. others like the taste, and maybe some wanna be some kind of badass on the playground. The reason really doesnt matter; one's as dumb as the other
Because if it's just a dumb young girl doing a dumb thing there's no need to turn it into something huge. And you can try to tell people doing bad things to stop doing bad things, but that doesn't often work for some reason.
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On March 28 2011 07:51 prOxi.swAMi wrote: Do not pass up this amazing opportunity at blackmail. You now have a personal slave. ahaha..
with so many different options, i dont think this is going to help you very much :l
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On March 28 2011 10:02 Nytefish wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2011 09:57 Hawk wrote: What does why have to do with it? some people just like the physical act of smoking. others like the taste, and maybe some wanna be some kind of badass on the playground. The reason really doesnt matter; one's as dumb as the other Because if it's just a dumb young girl doing a dumb thing there's no need to turn it into something huge. And you can try to tell people doing bad things to stop doing bad things, but that doesn't often work for some reason.
I think like almost every smoker ever started off as a dipshit kid either doing it to look cool or because a friend did it or a similarly dumb reason. And it always begins with bumming stoges, then getting a pack that you milk for a week, then that turns into a few days, then a few packs a week...
I'm 25 now and I know a whole shitload of smokers, most of whom i've known prior to them picking up the habit. I can think of exactly one person off the top of my head that started as a social/drunk smoker and stayed that way. Literally every other single one picked up the habit on a large scale at some point. Anecdotal evidence and all that shit, but it's backed up by plenty of others
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Well, I can tell you that even though it wasn't cigarettes, I was able to talk my sister out of several bad boyfriends, which I consider to be quite the achievement. Usually didn't take more than "Sis,... I know you can do better than this." Just the right mix of passive aggression, genuine concern and that brief moment of brotherly affection.
On March 28 2011 08:27 oceanblack wrote: If she gives you a reason, help her deal with that situation. I second that.
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On March 28 2011 10:14 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2011 10:02 Nytefish wrote:On March 28 2011 09:57 Hawk wrote: What does why have to do with it? some people just like the physical act of smoking. others like the taste, and maybe some wanna be some kind of badass on the playground. The reason really doesnt matter; one's as dumb as the other Because if it's just a dumb young girl doing a dumb thing there's no need to turn it into something huge. And you can try to tell people doing bad things to stop doing bad things, but that doesn't often work for some reason. I think like almost every smoker ever started off as a dipshit kid either doing it to look cool or because a friend did it or a similarly dumb reason. And it always begins with bumming stoges, then getting a pack that you milk for a week, then that turns into a few days, then a few packs a week... I'm 25 now and I know a whole shitload of smokers, most of whom i've known prior to them picking up the habit. I can think of exactly one person off the top of my head that started as a social/drunk smoker and stayed that way. Literally every other single one picked up the habit on a large scale at some point. Anecdotal evidence and all that shit, but it's backed up by plenty of others
Well I didn't literally mean "find out the exact reason why she smokes". What I mean is to make a judegement whether it's one of those "rebellious phase" things that will wash over or something more serious.
In my experience, hassling a smoker isn't effective at all, even if they are a close friend/family.
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She's not going to stop unless you employ violence. Terror is the great motivator, I always say. Unleash hell my friend, unleash hell.
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Get your parents in on it and have an intervention. Sit her down in a room with both your parents and then get her to smoke 2 cartons of cigarrettes in front of both of you. Then get your dad to tell her thats what he feels like everyday. If she still want to smoke after that then thats her life and her choice. Most likely that experience will be so bad for her that her throat and chest will burn for days and she will realise what 200 cigarrettes will do to you. If it doesnt even bother her then its too late for her and you can thank that medicare will look after her when you cannot.
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Yeah, I'd be concerned for her health.
Do what you can for her to quit the habit, before it becomes a full blown habit. Wouldn't involve the parents initially, though I wouldn't rule it out. She is a kid after all.
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