So me and me friends had been to see a movie. We had all split up and I was waiting for my bus. Then someone I know turns up with her little sister, who is 14 i think. It turns out their bus isn't due for about 30 minutes. My bus is like 2 minutes away but I tell a white lie so I can stay for 25 minutes.
I've met this girl and her sister a few times before and the older one of them is really fun to be around so I felt it was a great time to cement a friendship. For the first 15 minutes everything is fine, talking about random shit having a good time. Then suddenly my brain starts going into shut down, for no reason.
It all starts with a really stupid lie. Both sisters say "I suck at maths". And they start talking about how easy math was back in like grade 7 and that it sucked in highschool.
Well I don't suck at maths, I think it's boring but I am good at it and I took courses for all maths classes available in highschool and I pretty much breezed through them. And they know that I took that many courses so saying "Yea, I'm pretty bad aswell I barely passed" was fairly retarded.
But they just play along, not making the situation akward. So after spending time talking to the older of the sisters since that is the person I am interested in actually being friends with, suddenly my brain goes "You better talk more to the younger sister to not be rude" which is fucking weird cause I've never once hade inner monologue like that during a conversation before.
So I very overly dramatic turn my head towards the younger sister. It turns out she is taking something out of her bag bending over facing away from me and she is wearing very loose pants so half her arse is showing. That itself isn't weird, if you turn to someone to say something and they are busy, you just turn back to the person you're talking into and continue the conversation.
I don't do that, I panic. I know the older sister is looking at me when i turn to her sister, and that for some fucking reason shuts down my system. Instead of doing the normal thing, I act as if I've been flashed in the eyes with a laserpointer, being about as subtle as a unicorn.
Did it just get colder? I got paranoid as fuck. Never happened in a social situation before but I got real paranoid. Did she think i turned to her sister just because she bent over? Did she think I think I did something wrong because of my retarded reactions? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.. ect
Did the conversation just get alot staler or is it just my brain projecting? It's probably nothing just keep it going, oh great the sister has fetched whatever it was she was fetching out of her bag and joins in the conversation again.
So the conversation flows on for another 5 minutes and the topic became alcohol. And I turn to the younger sister to say something incredibly witty like "Herp derp you don't drink do you, you're just a kid" oh I am a master of the spoken word. And she is grabbing something out of her bag again, and this time her pants are down by the god damn ankles, it's a straight up panty shot.
If I took a picture, framed it and sent it to Japan they would go "This is an excellent panty shot, we need to hire this guy for our future needs of reference pictures of underaged girls panties"
My brain is trolling me hardcore allready so I'm just let out this sigh.
The moment I do this my brain starts trolling goes;
"You shouldn't have done that."
"Why not, I'm dying here"
"Yea, but grunting could be considered sexual"
"What? that was a sigh, not a grunt and there was nothing sexual about it."
"Well, duh I know that I'm your brain, but does she?"
Is there a blizzard around?
Coldest fucking 3 minutes of my life. And I don't even know if it was cold or if my brain just trolled me. To the older sister it could just have been an ordinary conversation, fuck if I know, I don't trust my brain anymore.
At this point I just start chuckling, not a massive chuckle just a very small one cause I couldn't catch a break. I was just going to have a normal conversation with two very normal people, and I may have made someone think I like little girls. As far as conversational fuck ups goes I feel it ranks fairly high up. Set out for some friendly banter and end up looking like a ephebophil. Looking back at it I find it hillarious as hell, but I also lament the people I know that end up in socialy akward situations on a daily basis, cause it was not fun at the time.
As usual my blogs have no real meaning and is mostly to let out steam.