For those of you that read this, this is a whine thread.
For me, this me holding my own intervention for my life. I just gotta get it out there. I don't know any other way

Long story short: holy crap i am screwed up.

Totally bombed my first two quarters of college. You'd think I'd learn from the first quarter that college is not high school, that getting by without studying does not make you smart.
And, you'd think that I learned some self-restraint from my parents growing up, but repeatedly going crazy one night and waking up the next morning realizing im screwed tomorrow, shows I have not learned anything at all.

I don't know the value of money. I ditch class to sleep longer and I don't like walking to classes that are more than a 10 minute walk.

I don't go to the gym cause video games are easier and just right there.

I don't understand the value of hard work after I've been getting by so easily.

And sometimes, indifference becomes my life. I just stare at my messy closet and my computer screen for some answer to come up, to tell me to fix my life, to get on top of my shit.

I look at everyone else, and I see some people exactly like me, and then I see that most people understand why they go to college. I thought I knew it too, but apparently I don't.

How can you explain the meaning of hard work to a person like me who has had it easy his entire life? How can you bring a person that has been living the dream down to reality?
How can you cure a person of indifference?

It's almost like living in a paradox for me...I've had so many good friends, two parents that support and care for me, and am blessed with a good life.

Yet somehow, I manage to ruin all of that.

As pointless as this seems, I'm going to promise to...to...

Fuck I don't even know who to promise to fix my life to. Myself? Like that has worked in the past. The internet? They don't care for me. My parents and friends? I am not their responsibility any longer.

Whatever. I'm just going to make this public. To God, to TL, to my friends, and to my brothers.

I am not going to sit idly by and see my life become ruined by my selfish needs. I swear, I will find something to live for. Not a video game, maybe a person, maybe a God, but most definitely not myself. I just need to find that answer. My reason for existance.

/end emo rant.

im deaf

Torte de Lini Germany. March 30 2012 08:00. Posts 30000

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How can you explain the meaning of hard work to a person like me who has had it easy his entire life? How can you bring a person that has been living the dream down to reality?
How can you cure a person of indifference?

The meaning of hard work is taught through yourself, sometimes in the most cruelest ways. An easy life doesn't mean you don't know hard work, you just don't know why you would want to do it and a lack of dream or passion may be the key issue here.

Want to elaborate if this is true or not?

https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)

JellowLight March 30 2012 08:11. Posts 60

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The moment you find something you are really passionate about, that is the moment that you will want to learn how to work hard and all that. Are you really in the right studie? Do some research and find something you are passionate about!
I have done no homework for the first 18 years of my life. Now I am doing game programming at a really good school and I do homework for FUN. Try to find something that does the same thing for you.

Good Luck

Owh, and I agree with ^ Torte de Lini ^

imBLIND United States. March 30 2012 08:16. Posts 2121

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On March 30 2012 17:00 Torte de Lini wrote:

Show nested quote +

I've never found a need to do hard work. Always found an easier way to do the same thing. I get thrown in an environment where there is no easy way out, all of a sudden, that smart kid becomes the kid that everyone else loves for lowering the curve. I have dreams and I have passions...but I've always wanted to find an easier way towards that. But the reality is that I have no way but to go through that hard path, and that is something I have yet to accept.

im deaf

Torte de Lini Germany. March 30 2012 08:16. Posts 30000

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What are your dreams and passions?

https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)

MysteryMeat1 United States. March 30 2012 08:16. Posts 2200

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Me to. I got a 2.7 in a chem class. The lowest grade ive ever gotten in College. I'm kind of bumbed out, however just like my return to masters league, i will kick ass and take 4.0's next quarters. At the very least a 3.5

RNGesus- tehpenguin was my alt id. lolol

imBLIND United States. March 30 2012 08:26. Posts 2121

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Unfortunately for me, I just dropped my 2.8 to a 2.0 with my 2nd quarter grades. The start isnt even something that great to begin with.

I have none of my own dreams and passions...all of it has to do with my parents. I don't know what I want to do for myself, because having fun =/= finding a passion. I've tried sports, music, a person...all I can feel is indifference and the mentality that "if you give me time, then I can do that." I've always thought about myself as a dedicated person, but I've never felt a real passion about anything in my life.

im deaf

Torte de Lini Germany. March 30 2012 08:52. Posts 30000

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I have dreams and I have passions...but I've always wanted to find an easier way towards that.

I have none of my own dreams and passions...all of it has to do with my parents.

So like I was saying, you don't have a dream or passion and hence why you have no reason to work hard. It's not anything else you really said, it's the fact that you are now at an age where you haven't identified yourself nor found your placement within the world either socially or academically. Why study or get good grades in school if you don't know what kind of job you want?

For High-school it was easy, finish high-school so you can go to college. A to B. But what's C? What's after university? After you leave your parents, live on your own?

That's where you should start. You can keep continously shitting on yourself and analytically figuring out why you don't do this and that, but you have the end of a knotted string right now on where you can start to improve and that's where you should start: improving.

Bottom-line is; this isn't a pity-party and this isn't some cinematic "wake-up call" bullshit to finally get things going. This is life and this is you just moving. Time to try a little more than just the standard crap: music, sports, movies, etc. Time to try new stuff and you have it easy right now to be able to do it. You don't have as many worries in life as you will in the future; as some others do.

So take advantage of it. If you were rich or without worries of food, clothing and shelter, you should spend your time, money and life on learning. To learn is to discover. Discovering what's out there is to learn about yourself and thus discovering you

Good luck. Go to bed, wake up, eat your breakfast and go outside. Try volunteering, that's what I did.

Last edit: 2012-03-30 08:57:08

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Assault_1 Canada. March 30 2012 08:58. Posts 1557

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can you explain your grading system? how does a 2,3,4 convert into %
also you lack incentive/motivation/drive, which is pretty understandable if ur not interested in whatever your taking, but it should really just come naturally.. I couldn't imagine paying all that money and not caring
maybe get some friends in ur classes?

iTzSnypah United States. March 30 2012 09:31. Posts 1688

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On March 30 2012 17:58 Assault_1 wrote:
can you explain your grading system? how does a 2,3,4 convert into %
also you lack incentive/motivation/drive, which is pretty understandable if ur not interested in whatever your taking, but it should really just come naturally.. I couldn't imagine paying all that money and not caring
maybe get some friends in ur classes?

2.3 is the minimum you can get to pass.
4 is an a or 100%

Last edit: 2012-03-30 09:33:31

Team Liquid needs more Terrans.

Rimstalker Germany. March 30 2012 10:37. Posts 638

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want to learn hard work? Get a visum to Australia with no money to back the travels up and go into fruitpicking jobs. For extra points, harvest Chilies, Eggplants or Capsicum.

Here be Dragons

Kickboxer Slovenia. March 30 2012 12:03. Posts 1151

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Well, being aware of all this is for sure the best step you can take. And yes, the situation you're in is absolutely shitty and will bite you in the ass like a megashark. Try to pull your nose up and get out of the dive before you're middle aged with no future and, what's even more painful, no history. Life is way too precious and fun to be squandered like this yo.

Just try to find something you really like doing. Whatever. My mom used to say, it's better to be a good prostitute than a bad CEO. When you find your true interest - there has to be something, you're not an amoeba - you just need to get over the lazy procrastinating part and give it a good push, and then the ball keeps on rolling by itself.

That, and sports. Sports fucking rule man. It's like a hard reset of your brain, and yours really needs one. Good luck.

Dizmaul United States. March 30 2012 12:42. Posts 589

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I feel like this happens to many privileged kids. Including myself. Ive seen it go two ways. You get a reality shock in a way and over the next couple years you will really change your outlook on life and what motivates you. Or like some of my friends you will stay exactly the same still going to school at 27 with no job. I would definitely say your on a right track by just identifying your feelings. I was lost until about the age of 22, and now I have my own business.

It is what it is

Mazaire Australia. March 30 2012 12:54. Posts 217

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Feel the pain of discipline,

or feel the pain of regret.

"No matter what event you go to there are so many koreans, like a swarm. Even if you beat three or four, there are like 10 others waiting." - Socke

DONTPANIC United States. March 30 2012 15:54. Posts 340

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I suggest you go travel to somewhere that is poor. South East Asia, Western Africa, Missouri... I was also pretty lucky to be born white and middle class in the USA and a 5 week trip around China changed my life. You're probably lucky enough that you don't actually have to worry about starving ever so you might find some solice in helping out some of the people that are. If you're going to devote energy to a cause try to do some good for someone else. "God" doesn't help people. People help people.

The universe is big. Really big.

DeLoAdEr Germany. March 30 2012 15:58. Posts 504

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Don't make any resolutions/promises to yourself or others like "I'm going to change my life" or "I'm going to study really hard now and get a high GPA", but just start doing it silently instead. By speaking out/thinking out your resolutions you are already rewarding yourself, like you already have achieved something and that lowers your incentive to actually do it. Just start small without making any drastic changes, and improve slowly step by step.

Last edit: 2012-03-30 15:58:59

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