It begins with a little procrastination. I turn in an assignment late, but teachers apparently don't care that much about it and I only lose a couple of points. I start sleeping through first hour every day, but the test material turns out to be incredibly easy, and I do very well on it (I'm not trying to brag, I didn't deserve the grade I got). I turn in a couple more assignments late, still with no penalty. Bad habits start forming.
Last trimester, I was slacking off my work and missing a decent amount of school. It's been my goal to maintain a 4.0 throughout high school, but I was seriously worrying that I wasn't going to be able to do that. In my accounting class, there was no way I was going to be able to. I talk to the teacher, she liked me, and said I could do some assignment for extra credit and she'd give me an A. So, I'm still fine, but not learning the right lesson.
In my math class, I took the final and ended up with a grade just below an A. I talked to the teacher about it after school, and he said because it was a college class, his hands were tied and couldn't offer me any extra work or anything to make that up. This was the lesson I needed to learn. I walked out of the class pretty distraught, but I couldn't complain about it. That 4.0 was gone. And I knew it was all my fault. It was what I deserved.
Then the teacher calls for me to come back to his class over the P.A. system. I go back, and he meets me in the hall. "I'll fluff it for you." The words hit me pretty hard. I was going to keep my 4.0!
I shouldn't have let him do that. It was the lesson I needed to learn, and I haven't learned it. I'm still slacking, cutting classes, and being an idiot about it. I don't deserve the grade.
I have no initiative. Why do work when you can get away with not, right? I'm messy when I never used to be. I procrastinate everything in my life. I'm becoming more and more depressed because the things I need to do, I'm not doing, and it stacks up to where I'm overwhelmed with the workload and shut down.
I hope having a job, where work ethic matters and cutting corners won't cut it, will solve this. I need to get off this path, because I won't always be that lucky. It's going to hurt me at some point.