Five years ago I met currently ex-fiance who I believed was the love of my life. Although this is still the case, we are currently going through some difficult times which has ended up with us taking a 6 month break.
Now I know that you don't us, or the reason for the break but the reason why I brought this up is because it hurt.
Well duh! Most of you say.
But I'm here with a different message. Love sucks, love hurts, but it is still one of the most important things we can ever experience. We need to stop being scared of love, or getting hurt from love. We need to turn from a love adverse culture to one that aims to spread love in every situation. When I say love, it doesn't have to mean the intense love between two people, I mean general love. Just the love of people, the love of connection and being close with people.
Why do I believe love is so important? Well there are two main reasons why people talk to someone. The first is to emphasize a positive emotion and the other is to get out of feeling a negative emotion. A feeling of love and connection with those around you radically changes the way you feel. It fulfills you. It's great that you got a promotion but if no one else appreciated your achievement, you are left empty. That is why so many successful people commit suicide, because they don't have this connection or they don't feel like they do with anyone else.
Plus before you through it away, why not think what's the worst that could happen? If you are too scared of giving it in the first place then you are already cheating yourself of ever experiencing it... But before the fuzzy wuzzy feelings of love and connection can happen, there is one step you need to achieve...
You need to learn to love yourself. You give your all, you need to have something to give. It's pretty hard to motivate someone else to exercise when you yourself are unfit. So how do we learn to love ourselves? Same way as you would someone else, here are some ideas;
Random acts of kindness
Rewarding yourself
Praising yourself for the good things that you do
Forgiving yourself for the bad things you do, learning and moving on, not holding onto the past.
Lollipop moments (creating special moments that you will stay with you forever)
Appreciating and being gratuitous towards life and yourself
Having a good time
Look yourself in the eyes (in a mirror) and say I love you. Seriously, this will feel WEIRD!
There are obviously a million ways that you can express love, these are just the first ones to come to mind. Stay strong, begin to love yourself and then spread that love. Find the best in the people around you and begin feeling a connection. This is a life changing experience, take heed. Connect, love and contribute.
Have a great day and good luck with those lollipop moments!
Steven