Incurvatus in se
We'll see who's folding nao
We'll see who's folding nao
I think it's time we sat down and had a little chat. There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak, and I suspect even now, men with guns will soon be on their way. But in lieu of recent events, I suppose it is time to usher in the Age of Aquarius a tad early so that Pliny may rest easy in his dwelling. Allow me to make a modest proposal on behalf of all potatoes and make them useful for the publicx. It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town or travel in the country, when they see the carts, the tables, and produce-holding apparatus, crowded with delicious potatoes, accompanied by carrots, turnips, and all sort of edifice pulled from the Lord's good earth and yearning to be consummated by tongue and by stomach of the good people.
Keeping this conviction high in the cupboard of our so-called 'minds', allow me to exacerbate this profoundly and increasingly paradoxical quandary of capricious alliteration further, and to justify the proclamation of Lord Ronald of Burgundy, the purveyor of rumour and tale, as a caller from the tower or a lyre-man traversing the land, to the alacrity of such escalation as purtold from the seat of comfort, as the drunkard soothes his lips with foul Germanic alky. Catplanetcatplanet, as he is known, with this repetitious moniker that alludes to the fullest enchilada of Galileo's miscellanea, but to also to the mouser sent from The Lord to redeem us from the black plague, this man, with his mask, he is most certainly in league with Beelzebub himself. I would be nary startled by the hooves betrayed by the removal of his leather bootes!
Let's take a look, shall we?
Catplanet is 9 letters. Catplanetcatplanet is 18 letters.
Cat has three letters. 3(6) = 18
Three times six? 666? Satan confirmed.
But shall we dig deeper?
This ancient Egyptian picture depicts the cat from another world. It is in a 'boat' (SPACESHUP) high above the tallest trees and the oceans. This is because the cat is going to another planet. Does this just all seem strange to you? If yes, keep reading. The truth is out there.
Look at this shit:
Does this make you suspicious? Does this look strange to you? Look again.
+ Show Spoiler +
Holy Darwin in Hell. Do you see this? DO YOU? ARE YOUR EYES WORKING PROPERLY? IS THE GAMMA ON YOUR COMPUTER MONITOR TURNED UP WAY TOO HIGH?
There are two cats-beings. Kind of like there is a repeat in "catplanetcatplanet". "catplanet" has nine letters. Cats have 9 lives. There are eight objects from the start of the line at the original cat, to the "ninth" object: the cat-man. What has this got to with anything?
The original cat-god Mau lived 12,000 years ago. According to the Cat Age Calculator (or 'catculator', amirite?), 16 human years is 84 cat years. 16(84) = 1344. 1344(9) = 12,096.
Shit on a fox. Is your mind blown yet?
If you looked in the spoiler, your brain is probably totally destroyed. But it's not ogre yet. There is yet more information that I must reveal. For you see, Mau is actually Ra personified, and Mau is a good god who somehow cut a huge evil snake's head off with a knife while having no opposable thumbs. The snake was eating children and head to be stopped. You may have watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (because nobody reads; that's for glasses-wearing NERDS), and one of the Basillisk's victims was a cat. Is that a coincidence that a movie based on magic and legends has a giant snake trying to fuck with a cat? Maybe now you know why.
However, catplanet is only pretending to be the reincarnation of Mau. As you know, the internet is about posting stuff on walls and worshiping cats (MUCH LIKE ANCIENT EGYPT) so we all await the day when the true Mau emerges. Catplanetcatplanet, as we know, is a code name. He is actually Ammit the Devourer. Here is a picture:
Ammit is this weird kind of crocodile-leopard-lion-bear hybrid that lurks under the waters of the Nile, and devours souls. He is totally evil. In the Christian Bible, his return is prophesized:
"And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.
And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority."
Look at the picture above. The "horns" are those spikes on his back. There is one minor error, which is that he only has one head. OR IS IT? It says "upon his heads the name of blasphemy". Blasphemy against... MAU? BECAUSE IN THE BOOK OF THE DEAD'S SPELLS, THE SEVENTH SECTION IS ENTITLED "PROTECTION AGAINST ANIMALS", which corresponds with the seven structures of the Necropolis of Giza (three ziggurats, three pyramids and one sphinx [the cat-human]) which geometrically correspond with the seven stars of Orion and the seven stars of the Pleiades.
three ziggurats and three pyramids is 3x3 = 9, the number of letters in catplanet, and "ammit the devourer" is 16 letters.
666 / 16 = 756
One cat era is cat years times human years, so one cat-life is 84 times 16 years, by which you get 1344.
1344 + 756 = 2100 exactly.
This means that the current incarnation of evil Mau, or Ammit, will manifest fully in the year 2100, which is the beginning of the age of Aquarius. That means that this age will end, and a new one will begin. In the Bible, it says Jesus Christ will return 'at the end of age' and slay the beast, which I highly suspect is catplanetcatplanet himself, who also is probably an alien.
Therefore, catplanetcatplanet, because you are in league with Satan and a minion of Lucifer, I challenge you to a grudgematch in StarCraft: Brood War. It will be bo9, with the map pool being circuit breaker, heartbreak ridge, sniper ridge, match point, fighting spirit, python, neo electric circuit, neo medusa, icarus, central plains, judgement day, and bloodbath.