Hello everyone, it’s been awhile since I last blogged, so I doubt anyone remembers me, but I hope you all have been doing well. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in such an introspective mood which is probably the reason I haven’t blogged about anything. That and the fact that college has been keeping me very busy.
Today I would like to talk about something that happened about 2.5 years ago with what I would probably call one of my closest friends at the time. She was going through some rough stuff, and from what I remember we had a very minor fight. So minor that both parties don’t even remember what caused it. However because of it, I was shut-out and she wouldn’t talk to me. Fast-forward 1.75 years later, she emailed me an apology. We met up, and talked about what had happened.
While neither of us could recall what we fought about, she apologized for shutting me. I told her I was never mad in the first place, and that I still considered her a friend.
Fast-forward another .75 years, I realized that I was still protecting myself from those that I considered my closest friends. Opening up to people and talking about my fears has never been a strong point of mine. That I have a hard time opening up to people and being honest with them, for fear of being shut-out and losing a close friend.
I think it just took friends who I could take that leap of faith with. Friends that I trust. Even though the same thing may happen in the future, I don’t want to be a person who is scared of the past but will continue to move forward.
Things that I am afraid of:
That I won’t live up to the standard I hold myself to
That I won’t get a job that I want when I graduate
Not being honest with the people closest to me
+ Show Spoiler +
I’m still a little unhappy with what I wrote above as it doesn’t quite encapsulate the feelings that I want to express. However, I believe that lies in my current skill as a writer.
Till Next time
-Hachiman