Because we have standards on these here forums
It is a time-honored tradition that on internet forums, you must look for opportunities to argue with other posters. But you don't want to just go into a Brood War argument blind, because Brood War is an INTELLECTUAL GAME, and not for commoners who watch ball-based games and get all excited when LeBron James gets a grand-slam in the football game that one Sunday. Since Brood War is coming back to life and is officially not-dead, I expect an influx of uninformed plebeians, aka YOU, who will be looking for some account-lockingly-good arguments.
There are some "common sense" steps before you get to actually arguing. Forums are all about posturing, and getting street cred. Don't be that person who only argues, or no one on the internet will take you seriously. People will point and say, "There goes AngryProbeMicro again with his needless hostility."
1. Get over 9,000 posts. Typing one-liners into live report threads with stuff like "lol fail micro" will definitely help boost your post-count.
2. You need to play Brood War. Not a lot, just enough to get angry about whichever races aren't yours. This will come in handy later when angrily ranting. I'll explain in more detail how to use this in a bit.
3. Don't call anyone any of the following names: "retard", "faggot", "cunt", "subhuman", "bitch", "cancer", "literally cancer", "gook", n+ Show Spoiler +
, "imbecile", "autistic", "flaming homosexual", "cuck", "soulless meatbag", "idiot", "virgin", "unfuckable pizzaface", "dicksucker" + Show Spoiler [this spoiler is NSFW] +
, "trash", "garbage", "cum-rag", "shit-bag", "fuckwad", "product of an incestuous relationship", "pedek", "probably a pedophile", "basement-dweller" (or make any references to a subterranean dwelling of any sort, or any accusation of reliance on one's mother for residency/shelter), "neckbeard", "fat neckbeard", "fedora-wearing fat neckbeard", "anti-skub", "village idiot", "village rapist", and never never never never never say, "Beg for more money, sick-boy." I think that's it. There could be more, but I can't think of any at the moment.
(or any variation of an accusation of one who commits an act of fellatio, or one who receives anal penetration)
Edit: Also, "Jew".
Edit: Unless you're KwarK and can verbally abuse people you disagree with freely.
4. You can argue with anyone, no matter how skilled they are, especially if they're not Korean.
Now that's out of the way, let's talk about three guiding principles about arguing about Brood War: The Rule of Exceptions, The Law of The Meta Game, and The Out. These are all scientific laws, and if you disagree, then you're disagreeing with fucking science and are an illogical being.
The Rule of Exceptions
For every accepted standard in game theory, there is an exception, and one should exploit that weakness at every opportunity. For example, if someone says, "Going 3 hatch before pool is risky because you die to 8 rax." then you must find the exception to the rule and say, "A good Zerg can defend an 8 rax with 3 hatch before pool", and link to the VOD of a progamer doing it, preferably Jaedong. Also, if Flash did it, it's right. The Rule of Exceptions is essentially begging the question with an appeal to authority. If you post a game by a progamer, nobody can argue with you, because they are not progamers. This is why you can argue with anybody and why progamers should be revered as gods. Always try to be aware of exceptions by watching VODs here! Rmbr, this is just a starting point, but you'll get to say fun stuff like: "Bio versus Protoss is sustainable into the late game. Upmagic did it in his game versus blah blah blah."
The Law of The Meta Game
I wasn't sure what to call this. I guess it could also be called "The Equal Skill Theory", except we all know it's a LAW + Show Spoiler +
. This law comes in handy when complaining about match-ups. The idea is that you could beat your opponent if you were more skilled than them (you must admit this as a preamble), but that if both players are "EQUAL IN SKILL", that x race seems to almost always beat y race. You must complain that your race (y) has to have more apm and better micro and has a tiny margin for error against x race. You can even do this as Protoss! Just complain how Terran just has to sit there and wait for a maxed army, and then if you don't engage perfectly with perfect storm drops and stasises, that your army will die and you won't be able to rebuild in time to do anything. Voila! The main idea here is that your opponent doesn't have to work quite as hard as you do to achieve victory.
The "meta game" part comes from another from another bit of common knowledge: that anything aside from the "standard meta" is gimmicky cheese bullshit, and if someone does it, it is dishonorable, and as an upstanding citizen on the ladder, you have pledged never to play 'gimmicky' to achieve your rank. Therefore, you are now confined to play "standard" 4 life. You should always play "SAFE", and complain that you are 'forced' to play this way because of all of the 'bullshit cheeses' available to your opposing race.
Note: 12 nex versus Terran is a cheese. It's official.
Note: If someone asks you about same-sex match-ups, here are the following complaints you use to explain why you don't play them:
TvT: too long
The Out is an amazing technique you can use for any argument, ever! The idea is that you say: "I see your point. x, y, and z pose problems with my argument. However..." and then you get back to your argument as if nothing happened. This is especially important when trying to hold The Rule of Exceptions and The Law of The Meta Game in your head simultaneously. The Rule of Exceptions basically says anything is possible, whereas The Law of The Meta Game says nothing outside of the present meta is possible. No matter which you are arguing, you can make certain concessions, for example: "I know some Zergs have winning ratios against Terrans, but in general, T>Z".
You need to use The Out to show how open-minded and not stupid/whiny you are. Any well-constructed argument about Brood War will need to use The Out, with a few minor exceptions (SEE WHAT I JUST DID THERE?). First, people will need to know that you are at least pretending to be open to other ideas. Second, if someone comes along and completely eviscerates you, you can always fall back on saying, "I wasn't saying I was right. I was saying this is what my thoughts were." and then you don't have to admit to being wrong because you already gave yourself an out. Hence, the name: The Out.
Now you're read to go out into the world. If you're not sure what to argue about, here are some suggestions:
- We should use battlecruisers in TvZ
- We should use disruption web in PvT
- We should use scouts versus Zerg
- We should use ghosts to lockdown arbiters that are coming to recall
- We need to do nuke rushes against Zerg more
- Zerg should use burrow against Terran
- Zerg should use ensnare against Terran and Protoss
- Zerg should use parasite in general because it's free scouting
- Why not use firebats as drops against Protoss probes
- ZvT is broken because Zerg is forced to go pool first or die to bunkers
- TvP is broken because Protoss can go 12 nexus with no consequences
- PvZ is broken because too much zergs
- ZvP is broken because reaver/cannon in the late game is impossible to break
- PvT is broken because the mech ball is unstoppable
- ZvT is broken because the mech ball is unstoppable
- ZvT is broken because +1 5 rax and my mutas can't micro down 36 marines
- PvZ is broken because lurkers
- PvZ is broken because hydra bust
- PvZ is broken because of zerg units
- PvT is broken because strong FD
- TvZ is broken because defiler too strongk
- TvP is broken because carriers
- TvP is borked because of recalls
You can either start a thread whining about these (not recommended, unless you make it very subtle), or inject your opinion into an existing thread (highly recommended). Good luck and have fun, you soulless meatbag!
What's the best Brood War argument tactic you've seen used?