But you loved, isn't it? You loved so hard your teeth were clenching, food was tastier and days streamlined in a single, impossible long moment. So after you walked mountains and crossed rivers, you ask yourself: what would be the most desirable state of things? You can't find an answer, so you keep walking and crossing, for years.
One day, you arrive at a crossroads. The two ways are endless. One road asks you to stop burning - but you just can't do it, because that fire is now keeping you alive. If you were to extinguish it, your charred self would lose its composure, like removing those wood sticks from an hamburger. The other tells you to go back. For a moment, you see everything. Every chain of event is unfolded right in front of you and everything appears like a possibility. Then, you remember. You remember how noone was there to clean the mud off your face and how you spent the winter by the fireplace. You smile at the realization that even enemies and murderers and soldiers and assassins were able to forgive and forget but you can't.
So you pitch your tent at the crossroads.
This blog is dedicated to the user Opusm, with whom I exchanged many private messages during a dark period in my life. Unfortunately, I don't know what he is up to since he stopped responding one day. I just know that his true name is Josh. I hope you are ok, Josh.