Christ, I remember when I was like, what eight years old? It was when the old Justice League cartoon was on TV and I was real into that shit, so one night I'm just up really late because Ive never been capable of really sleeping well and there was a Superman cartoon on so I'm like, shit yeah, lets watch some cartoons because I was eight.
It was The Flash vs. Superman in a fuckin' race around the world. They fucking tied.
Because the Flash gets ONE power, he gets ONE fucking god damned fucking power, and that is speed.
Unlimited godhood captain dickface just gets every power, he flies at the speed of the Flash, he shoots fuckin laser beams from his dickface eyeballs, super strength, x-ray dick vision so he can peep some nudies, fucking ICE BREATH for no reason, fuck you.
Literally the worst fucking invincible god-fucking-shit-eating-cuntbag.
Lacking any ability to create tension due to seeming to be impervious to fucking harm of all varieties he just sucks the ability for anyone else to be relevant right out of the god damned room.
Superman sucks sweaty sack.
He really, really, really sucks, he was the worst part of the new Justice League movie.
It hurts me. He hurts me. Its so upsetting.
Team my ass, its just Captain Fucking Godhood bitchslapping lesser beings into pointlessness.
Fucking Justice League, its so unfair that in this world Ezra Miller gets to be funny and likeable and he has to be outdone at his one super power by Captain Cuntface Dickbag Shiteating Perfect Guy.
Did I mention that he seems to be like the fucking actual moral fabric of society? I mean fuck, the world existed for HOW long without his ass there? The world has been shitty and chaotic forever, he didnt really CHANGE anything, and his absence should just set it back to the norm, so why the fuck does he seem to be some living sentient embodiment of the moral force of the planet fucking Earth? Like it doesnt even seem symbolic, it seems like hes some literal actual moral fiber of humanity for some unfathomable reason. He dies and people seem to actually become more inclined toward madness and evil as if Superman had somehow been keeping some innate darkness from sprouting within us poor sad humans and causing us to terrorism each other for confusing and nonsensical reasons.
This just makes me appreciate the original Avengers more, I mean everyone was relevant, noone was as grotesquely unstoppable on their own as Superman, Thor and Hulk and Cap'n and the Iron Quiplord and even fuckin Bow guy and Scarlet Johannson got some worth-proving screen time showing that everyone can be useful in multiple ways.
Aquaman, Wonderwoman, Ezra Miller, Batman, they all get moments where they feel like they're in a league with each other and are individually helpful. Oh, and like, uh Cyborg, but he sucked dick and I'd rather not have to mentally think about how fucking ugly his weird robot body was and why he had to be such a sad sack, I mean shit he made Batman look like sunshine and rainbows. They fucking ruined Cyborg too.
But nah, Superman right? Teammates? You mean the benchwarmers? Who needs a team when your one player hits homeruns every time, runs all of the bases, while also pitching 200+ mph, right? Kryptonian Kunt.