It was a series of movies I basically grew up on. But since 1999, every Star Wars movie I've seen has had me going "Well... I guess that one was okay. I mean, it wasn't horrible." I mean, I want to like Star Wars movies. I want them to be good.
A lot of stuff was set up in The Force Awakens. I mean, a LOT. Probably too much. But TFA left me wanting more. That's where it really succeeded, I guess. All of the 'problems' I had with TFA I figured would be answered in the next movie. When The Last Jedi appeared, it kind of worked like an Act 3 would. I wasn't excited for the next movie. I was frustrated in a weird way that took a long time to process and explain.
To put it simply: Just give me a good, original story. TLJ wasn't a good story.
I know you can say something like: "How can define what an objectively good story is like if it is open to interpretation????//"
How dare you ask me that. I dunno, get a team of people, and ask them questions like "Is this stupid?" and they go "Yeah, that makes no sense." and then suggest something better. It's called 'getting feedback'. If everyone around you thinks your shit smells wonderful, then you're going to get false positives about how good it is.
Before I move on, I want to give a brief outline of things that can make your fictional story better, if you're writing one. First, come with an idea for a story. This is paramount. Second, your script needs a beginning, stuff in the middle, and an end. You can do a non-linear story if you want, but your script and your story are not the same thing. Your script says what the viewers are going to see first, second, third, etc., so they understand what is happening. If you want to make a movie nobody understands, that's sort of "experimental", and the odds are, people are going to say your movie made no sense and that every copy belongs in a garbage incinerator.
Your story needs a "theme". Sometimes, the theme is something like "Good conquers evil", or maybe it's more like "Sometimes the difference between good and evil is difficult to be discerned", or maybe it's "A wacky comedy where everything is crazy and everyone says crazy stuff". If your movie has a sequel, that sequel needs to follow that same theme. For example, Kill Bill volume 1 and Kill Bill volume 2 have the same theme: "Samurai kung-fu western revenge drama". Movie #1 establishes that The Bride knows kung-fu and can pretty much kill anybody. Movie #2 shows that she learns a special kung-fu technique that comes in handy later. Nothing comes out of left-field, like her calling down lightning from the sky to kill someone. The movies also don't kill Bill in the first movie. If they killed him in the first movie, you wouldn't want to watch the second one to see if she kills him.
Your story needs to follow internal logic. If your story has no internal logic, it's probably some kind of absurdist comedy. See The Room for an example of this. Many anime serieseses violate this rule, because someone develops a special power out of nowhere, and goes "Oh, I can read minds now." Another example is something like a universe where hyper-intelligent androids are property and aren't considered living things, but they leave an admiral on the ship to ram the dreadnought instead of having a droid do it. Or Luke's robot arm vanishing with his body, but not his clothes when he becomes one with The Force as he dies. Those are two mutually-exclusive points in the story that contradict each other directly. Either robotics are living things or they're not.
So, now that THAT'S out of the way, I have to wonder what's going to happen next. The way I see it, there are only two paths: Reverse Course or Double-Down. Both lead to the dark side. Middle ground would be doing a completely new and original plot that we all love. Elle, oh Elle... like that'd ever happen!
Reverse-Course:
We get a movie that is basically Return of The Jedi. There is a new superweapon, and the resistance has to destroy it before Donald Trump can fire it at San Francisco. The movie starts off with Kylo Ren and the mysterious Lord Hate conversing aboard the new superweapon, which is called "The Galaxy Obliteratorer", but it can destroy the whole galaxy with one hit. Lord Hate has sensed that SNOKE IS DEAD, and come out of hiding to reveal Snoke's true purpose: to destroy the galaxy because he's bad. Kylo looks to Lord Hate for guidance, and Lord Hate says the dark side will guide them and blah blah blah.
Meanwhile, Rey uses her Jedi powers to fight a secondary villain on Jakku. In the title crawl, it says Rey learned the secondary villain may have information about her parents, so she goes to his castle to confront him. He tries to kill Rey, Finn, Rose, Chewbacca, and BB8, so Rey goes ham and destroys all his shit. Maybe Rose wears a slave-girl outfit, but she definitely is the one who kills him. Perhaps by choking. I don't know.
Then, Rey and friends go back to The Resistance fleet and find out The First Order has the superweapon and that it has one weakness and that many bothans died to get this information. We get to see what a bothan looks like, and it's like a cross between a porg, a gungan, and that green-milk creature from TLJ. Or would that go in the double-down version? Well, something has to go in this version that pisses people off, but I figured following RotJ's plot would do the trick.
Anyway, Rey goes back to Jedi Island to find Luke, but he's not there. But his ghost shows up, and then tells Rey she has to confront the dark side because he saw the darkness in her, and then reveals that in space-heaven, he found Rey's parents and that she and Kylo are actually siblings, and Leia had a baby with someone else, and Han had a baby with someone else, so Rey is Han Solo's daughter, and Kylo is Leia's son, and then explains that's Kylo said Rey's parents were "nobody", because Kylo considers Han Solo to be nobody. JJ Abrams looks up from his script and goes "That also references what Kylo says in TFA" and the writing staff goes "oooh, that's genius", and for some reason, this interaction is shown in the movie. It just turns into a documentary half-way through, then cuts back to the movie, where Rey goes to confront Kylo, Finn + Rose have to shut down the shield generator, and Poe Dameron goes to blow up the Death Star 4, possibly with Nien Nunb as his co-pilot. Or Lando as his co-pilot. And Lando goes "I've been looking forward to blowin' up another one of these motherfuckers!"
Then the good guys win, Lord Hate is killed by Kylo when Kylo turns back to being good, and then Hayden Christensen's ghost shows up at the end with Luke's ghost, Yoda's ghost, Obi Wan's ghost, and also maybe Poe Dameron's ghost, and it makes no sense.
Wow, what a great movie!!!!!!!!
Double-Down:
This could happen. Quotes from JJ Abrams:
“Their problem isn’t ‘Star Wars,’ their problem is being threatened.”
“If you are someone who feels threatened by women and needs to lash out against them, you can probably find an enemy in ‘Star Wars.’ You can probably look at the first movie that George [Lucas] did [‘Star Wars: A New Hope’] and say that Leia was too outspoken, or she was too tough. Anyone who wants to find a problem with anything can find the problem. The internet seems to be made for that.”
“Certainly something I discovered early on in the ‘Star Wars’ world, is that you’re going to have an incredibly passionate and vocal fanbase, and they’re all going to have a lot of specific opinions.”
So Kathleen Kennedy and JJ sit down and say "So, these MANBABIES couldn't handle all the STRONG WOMEN in THE LAST JEDI? WELL, TIME TO RUIN EVEN MORE CHILDHOODS WITH THIS ONE."
So get ready for some of the first Episode IX predictions that you will read, hopefully, none of which will come true.
It is five years after the events of TLJ, and Kylo has been leading the galaxy with the slogan "Make The Galaxy Great Again", and says they're going to build a superweapon to uh... do something. Maybe it'll be used to stop people from dying and end all suffering. But what it really is going to do is BLOW UP THE WHOLE GALAXY or resurrect the most ancientest evilest dark-side user who ever existed, Nargoth'th Hagrol. The movie begins with a shuttle boarding the new superweapon, which is called "The Purifier" or something awful like that, which is a giant ship.
Kylo Ren then greets Snoke's daughter, who is "even more powerful and evil than Snoke", and Kylo looks to her for guidance now that Snoke is gone. Are you mad that your favorite male character looks up to a woman, manbabies!? Suck it, all of you hard-working fans who paid to see this movie with your actual money.
Meanwhile, Rey, Finn, Rose, Chewie, and BB8 head to sand-planet, where the son of Jabba The Hutt, Bobby The Hutt is a secondary villain who has information about Rey's parents, because he knows who they are, because Rey's parents are Han Solo and Qi'ra from Solo, and to get revenge on Han Solo, he is holding Qi'ra in a stasis chamber. Rey demands to know the woman in the stasis chamber is, but Bobby The Hutt is about to push the button to drop Rey into the Rancor Pit 2, but OH, EXPECTATIONS SUBVERTED, he falls for the ol' Jedi Mind Tricks, and doesn't do it. DJ then shows up and says "Sir, you're falling for the ol' Jedi Mind Tricks", and Finn and Rose are like "YOU!!!"
Rey then is dropped into the pit, but there's no rancor in there. Boom, expectations subverted. She's actually just frozen down there, and Rose and Finn are taken to desert-palace jail. Then DJ talks to them and is like "Now, I can get you out of here. I'm actually undercover and working against these Hutt bastards" and Rose is like "Fuck you! You sold us out!" and Finn is like "Let's hear the man out." but Rose slaps Finn right in the face (which is supposed to be funny) and says "Men... you never think with your heart, only with your brain!" and by brain, she means penis.
Then BB8 escapes and then, in a comical fashion is surrounded by a bunch of guards with guns pointing at it/him from all directions, which later becomes a meme on the internet because of the John Wick 2 posters. Then a new character shows up who is a total badass, and she's a WOMAN. WHOA. She talks to Bobby The Hutt, and says "I'm here for the bounty on this wookie", and hands over Chewbacca. Then pulls out a Thermal Detonator and demands 50,000 credits. Bobby is coward so he pays it. Then DJ looks at the bounty hunter suspiciously and makes a weird face, because it turns out that they know he each other, and he's like "What are you doing here?" and she's like "What am I doing here? What are YOU doing here?" and for some reason, she slaps him in the face. Then she kisses him. Then she stops kissing him and slaps him again.
Meanwhile, Rose escapes from her cell, and while she's climbing through the air ducts, the guards are like "Where is she!?" but Finny boi has a HILARIOUS conversation to distract them, and they keep asking him questions, but he just says HILARIOUS stuff like "I think she's in your mother's energy credit deposit! Ohhh! Got 'eem" and he literally dabs on screen. Nobody in the audience can believe it. He just dabbed in a Star Wars movie. The audience groans. What a bunch of misogynists. They just can't handle a movie full of STRONG WOMEN.
When he learns Rose has escaped, Bobby The Hutt says "That's it! I'm through with this crap! Guards, bring me the dark-skinned one!" and then announces over the PA, "If you don't come out at once, I will execute this traitor on the spot!" which causes Rose to come out of hiding. Then Bobby The Hutt says to Rose, Finn, and new character (Let's call her "Girl-Power". She's also black, and calls Rose 'cute', so she's a lesbian.) are rounded together, because DJ and Girl-Power are standing next to each other, and Rose is like "YOU! You sold us out for him!" and Girl-Power is like "It's not what it looks like!" and so DJ has to pretend he doesn't know her so he doesn't get busted. The audience thinks DJ has betrayed them again, but he's planning to save them later.
Bobby takes Rose, Finn, Girl-Power, Chewie, and frozen Rey to a place in the desert and Finn is like "Are you gonna feed us to one of your monsters?" and to subvert your expectations, Bobby goes "No, I'm just going to drop you off a cliff." and then adds, "Ho ho ho!" But then DJ unfreezes Rey, who falls over and starts coughing, then passes out. When she gets unfrozen, Finn goes "You muthafuckas is gon' get cho ass beat now!" then Rey faints and he just squeaks and goes "I don't wanna die. I haven't even achieved my dream of seeing the outer-rim supernovas yet."
Then DJ uses a remote control to unlock the handcuffs off Girl-Power, who starts kicking ass, along with Finn and Rose, who also kick a tiny bit of ass. Also, Chewie kicks some ass. He literally kicks someone off the cliff. But they are all cornered. But Rey gets up and says "Let them go!!!" then starts kicking ass. Rose, who is in a slave-dancer outfit for some reason, says to Bobby the Hutt "Women aren't for you to look at!" and then chokes him with a chain. Then the sail barge blows up and they all escape.
THEN, they all go to the palace and unfreeze Rey's mum. Qi'ra says "Rey? Is that you?" and Rey asks "I'm sorry, have we met?" and Qi'ra replies "I'm your mother." and Rey passes out again. She goes through a weird dream sequence that is never explained. You have to read the novels to understand it.
We cut to Kylo Ren speaking to Snoke's Daughter, who we'll call Ivanka. Kylo says "I have felt a disturbance in the forks." and Ivanka replies with "Search your feelings. Reach out into the DARKNESS." and Kylo Ren sees CGI Leia standing over Rey and caring for her. His eyes well up full of tears and he grinds his teeth. "YES!" Ivanka says "Interpret this through a lens of complete hatred!"
Kylo dramatically turns to her and says "I must use the force to call out to her. I have failed to kill her before, because I was weak, but now, with your guidance, I can."
So Kylo force-calls Rey in a dream and says "Rey. Hey."
Rey replies "Whut do you wahnt, yew monstah?"
"Yes. I am a monster." Kylo replies.
"Fuck you." Rey replies back.
"What? I didn't even say anything yet...?"
"Han Solo was my father! You killed my father!"
"No Rey. Snoke was your father."
Then Rey wakes up all sweaty, breathing heavily. "WTF" she says. "REY!" Finn yells. "Wawt?" she axes, looking at him sexily. Qi'ra and Girl-Power come into the room where Finn and Leia are with Rey. Rey sits up and goes "I just had the strangest dream."
Leia goes "I know, I've felt it."
Rey looks right at Qi'ra and starts crying. "Why would you leave me!? Why did you leave me alone?" Then Qi'ra says that she got back together with Han after Han left Leia, but then the movie turns into a big soap opera when Qi'ra says "I cheat on Han with Snoke" and says she got pregnant, but then she and Han raised Rey until the age of 4, but then Snoke came to take her away. So Qi'ra left Rey on Jakku and left. So Snoke said to Han "If you will deny me my child, I will take yours!" and Han is like "Wtf, that makes no sense".
When Rey hears this, she gets up to run out of the room, possibly to dive out into the cold void of space. Just then, a strong powerful independent female officer comes in and says "General Leia, I have received information from OUR SOURCE." Then, Girl-Power, Leia, Rey, Qi'ra, Rose (I don't know why, but she's also there) and Finn all stand up, and it is one of the scenes in the trailer. Later, a bunch of online publications go "This scene says it all: This is why you need to see the new Star Wars" and shows, and I quote: "Five women and one person-of-color are the main characters of this new space opera. Welcome to the future of Star Wars, you white straight MANBABIES. LOL FUCK YOU." Because they have to insult someone in order to feel good about themselves.
Their source from inside The First Order is General Hux, who hates his boss, and he says meet me in a dark parking space garage. They do this, and he slides over a briefcase and says "Here's the plans for The Purifier. It's actually a weapon. A huge superweapon that will wipe out all life in the galaxy."
Then Girl-Power says "Why should we trust you?" and Hux goes "I can't rule the galaxy if these religious nutjobs intend to destroy everything I wish to rule. If you wish to join me after they've been dealt with, you are welcome to do so. Or we can have a brand-new trilogy of movies where you fight me. I dunno."
"We'll never join forces with you!" Rey replied, grinding her teeth.
Later, Leia says to her "I feel much anger in you. To be a true Jedi, you must conquer that anger and be free of it, and accept non-humans as living things instead of being racist towards space aliens and gingers like General Hux. I know. I've seen a hundred General Huxes in my time, and they are all more annoying than the last one."
"What do you know about being a Jedi?" Rey demands, adding, "Also, I hate General Hux for being a racist. I myself am not racist."
"Well, the galaxy is very diverse." Maz Kanata replies, because they ran out of footage of Leia, and didn't want to do any more CGI of Leia. This is very jarring to the viewers to see Leia suddenly out of the movie. Maybe we see her climb into a space-pod and it gets hit by a random asteroid. Maybe she transfers all her knowledge to Rey by holding Rey's hand and then vanishes into the force, leaving only her clothes behind.
But Maz Kanata says "The galaxy is very diverse, and diversity is our strength. The First Order is human-only because they hate other life forms, but it is all life forms together who create the force, who is female." and then Maz Kanata levitates something to show she can use the force. Rey is like "Holy shit."
Actually, Maz Kanata uses the force to give Rey visions, and explains that it was her who gave Rey the visions when she touched Luke's lightsaber. Then Rey goes "You lied to me! You said the lightsaber was calling out to me!"
"Silly, lightsabers can't do anything by themselves." Maz replies, adding "But what I told you was true, from a certain point of view." because it's like poetry; it rhymes.
Then Luke's ghost appears and explains everything to Rey. He's like, Han and Leia had Kylo, Snoke and Qi'ra had Rey, Kylo hates Rey because he is in love with Darth Vader and Snoke, and is jealous of Rey. Then he realized it wasn't Rey he hated, he hated Snoke because Snoke rejected him, so he killed Snoke. Then he wanted Rey to follow him so he could be her master and be the ultimate badass. Then Rey is like "Who the fuck is Snoke?"
And Luke is like "He's a walking plothole." No, he doesn't say that. He just goes "I have no idea." and shakes his head back and forth as he says it. "You have to find the answers for yourself." Luke says, and then turns directly to the camera and says "And you can find out for yourself, dear viewer, by watching episodes 10 through 12, brought to you by the good folks at Disney!"
Rey is dumbfounded for a moment and then asks "Is this all... true?"
And Luke goes "Of course not! Your bloodline theory sucks, manbaby fandom!" and looks at the camera again and literally gives the middle finger as he says it.
Then the Resistance has a meeting about how to destroy The Purifier, which is protected by an energy shield on the small moon of Nerod, which is an obvious anagram of "Endor", and this takes place at the 2 hour-mark in the movie, so buckle up, folks, because this movie is fucking loooooong.
Admiral Lando Calrissian says "Now listen up, you jive-ass turkeys, I've blown up one of these before, and I been waitin' for the day I could blown up another one! We're going send down a small strike force to Nerod to knock out that god-damn energy-ass shield, then our ships will fly into it and take out that god-damn power core, which will cause a chain reaction that blows it up."
Then COMMANDER ROSE (YEAH I SAID IT) volunteers to lead the attack on Nerod, and Rey steps into the room and says "I'm with you too!" and Rose hugs Rey. Finn also hugs Rey.
Rey then tells Poe Dameron to take her ship, the Millennium Falcon into battle, saying "It's a very reliable ship." and Poe is like "I'm gonna need a co-pilot." and Nien Nunb steps out of the shadows and says "Bleppityblappityblehblappityblah". Then he's hit by a random asteroid and explodes. Then Chewie comes up and roars at Poe. Rey says "Chewie will fly with you."
"But... I don't understand a damn thing he's saying." Poe replies.
"You'll pick up quickly." Rey replies.
Then Rey, Finn, Girl-Power, BB8, R2D2, and DJ (They brought him along from Bobby's palace once they learned he saved them.) go to Nerod. The shield generator, of course, is protected by The Emperor's Best Troops The Ginyu Force, who are the best troops in the whole First Order. Finn tells them this. "How do you know this?" Girl-Power asks. "I was a janitor for their ship." Finn replies. "Wait, you were a janitor on The Starkiller Base, Snoke's personal dreadnought AND the Ginyu Force's ship?" and Finn is like "Yeah, I was voted #1 janitor twelve giga-parsecs in a row. Everyone wanted some of this."
"Why did you become a stormtrooper?" Rey asked.
"There's not enough room in this movie to give me any backstory, so we're not even going to talk about it." Finn replied.
Then, they meet up with a race of primitive aliens living on the planet with way too little screen-time left to explain why they join the resistance, but they just do. They think BB8 is a god or something. The primitive aliens we'll call the "Zoobs".
Then the big end-movie battle happens.
On Nerod, Finn, Rose, and Girl-Power, along with the Zoobs fight The First Order, while Lando and Chewie and the cop-guy from Heroes lead the attack on The Purifier, and Rey goes to confront Kylo and Ivanka.
The Resistance ships fly up to The Purifier and Lando says "Good God almighty, that motherfucker is huge!" because it's like the size of an actual star. Way bigger than Starkiller Base.
"The shields are still up!" Rose yells over a communicator-device. "Shit!" Lando replies. "All crafts pull back!"
In the throne room, Kylo brings Rey to Ivanka and says "I have brought her here. Although, I would like to see her die."
Ivanka stands up and says "So... you are my long-lost sister. My father looked forward to killing you. But I have a better solution. Both of you fight, and whoever wins will serve me."
Kylo pulls out his lightsaber. Rey pulls out her lightsaber. Her lightsaber is yellow and is double-sided like Darth Maul's was. "Nice lightsaber." Kylo says. "Thanks." Rey replies. Then they fight, but Rey holds back even though she's clearly winning. "Why won't you kill me!?" Kylo yells. "KILL MEEEE".
"Because I'm not my father." Rey replies. "I'm my mother. I'm our mother, Ben. She loved you, Ben. She still does. I can FEEL IT."
"NOOOO" Kylo says and starts crying while fighting. He starts winning the fight because of his anger, but Rey touches his hand, and gives him all these visions of Leia and Kylo screams and backs away. Then he lunges forward and cuts off Rey's whole arm with his lightsaber and her lightsaber falls into a bottomless pit. Then Kylo stands over her with his lightsaber at her throat and Ivanka is like "Do it." but then Kylo says "No." and throws his lightsaber into a trash can.
"WHAAAAT" Ivanka yells. "You see your mother in her! You were too weak to kill your mother before, and you are still too weak now!"
"Fuck you, I'm not weak. I'm strong for #Resisting you. Snoke didn't control me, and neither do you. It wasn't Rey who killed Snoke, Ivanka. It was ME, DIO."
"NANI?" Ivanka screeches, and does some force-lightning on Kylo. But then Rey shows her true power and stops the lightning in mid-air, and uses the force to throw Ivanka out a window. Then Rey grabs Kylo and pulls him to safety and they have to get to another room or get sucked into space, but Rey pulls him with her one arm with her, and they are saved.
Meanwhile, the good guys win the space battle and blow up The Purifier, hopefully with Rey and Kylo on it, just to subvert you manbabies' expectations. All of you damn manbabies.
On October 05 2018 20:01 opisska wrote: How the hell do yoy find the motivation to vomit so much text becuase a movie has mildly disappointed you?
It's pretty easy. Also, I would change it from "mildly" to "highly". Maybe not "massively" or "absolutely", but "highly".
On October 06 2018 01:19 Dangermousecatdog wrote: This needs to be drawn. And then adapted for animation. With a subplot involving a lost kid.
I think JJ is enough of a writing veteran to know to stick to an A-plot, B-plot structure. But since RotJ (sort of) followed three plotlines at the end, he might attempt something of that sort. Having a C-plot going on is usually something writers avoid, but it does happen in some cases.
Always funny to me when people pretend that the old star wars movies were so much better when in reality they really were not. (outside of influence and being revolutionary at the time for effects, etc). Some things were better, some things were worse, star wars is still star wars though, fun movies aimed at children. The problem is that these children grew up and have their perfect model of star wars in their head, remembering how they felt while watching these movies for the first time. No new star wars movie will be able to compare to that, no new blockbuster aimed at the whole family will be able to replicate it in fact.
Might be time to hand star wars to the next generations and find something which can still wow you, dune will be out soon enough :>
On October 06 2018 04:38 The_Red_Viper wrote: Always funny to me when people pretend that the old star wars movies were so much better when in reality they really were not. (outside of influence and being revolutionary at the time for effects, etc). Some things were better, some things were worse, star wars is still star wars though, fun movies aimed at children. The problem is that these children grew up and have their perfect model of star wars in their head, remembering how they felt while watching these movies for the first time.
So we're talking people born from approximately ... 1960 to 1980.
Did WWF Champ Bruno Sammartino get pinned to the mat for a 3-count in front of 23,000 italians packed into MSG in the 70s? Did Bruno Sammartino ever give up when put in a submission hold? did he ever say `i quit`? Never, Ever. Sammartino was an italian champion for all the italians who paid big money to watch pro wrestling. Vince Mcmahon gave them the hero they wanted.
Did "Real American" Hulk Hogan ever lose with 50,000+ "Hulkamanics" packed into a giant stadium in the 80s against Iran's Iron Sheik? Nope.
People born from 1960 to 1980 have a certain vision of what a hero should be. Luke Skywalker embodied that. So did Bruno Sammartino and Hulk Hogan.
Disney took Luke Skywalker and turned him into Pete Rose. Considering they control Luke's fate because the whole thing is fake and fictional... it was a very bad move. Everyone i talk to who is 38+ hated what Disney did to Luke Skywalker.
I could give a flying fuck about Luke Skywalker.. the whole universe bores me to tears.. .but all the people over 38 that i've spoken with about the Disney movies... i can feel the hate they have for what Disney did to Luke Skywalker... it'd be like me buying the WWF off of Vince Mcmahon in 1987 and then jobbing out Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania the very next year.
Let's contrast this with how Bobby Kotick dealt with people born from 1960 to 1980. What did Mr. Kotick do? He BOUGHT everlasting, timeless moments of joy from their youth when he BOUGHT the Activision brand in 1991. Memories of Pitfall, Spider Fighter and River Raid. Games an order of magnitude better than anything else on the Atari 2600. Did he turn Pitfall Harry into Pete Rose? ummm, no. Pitfall Harry remains untouched so that all these people who are currently in their prime money earning years can still look upon Activision with great fondness. This is how you take a company with zero human resources in 1991 and built it into a 7 Billion dollar a year monster.
Kotick >> Iger
Bob Iger is well on his way to fucking the Star Wars franchise into the ground.
On October 06 2018 03:17 Jerubaal wrote: You forgot to call them incels.
incel manbaby basement-dwellers!
On October 06 2018 04:38 The_Red_Viper wrote: Always funny to me when people pretend that the old star wars movies were so much better when in reality they really were not. (outside of influence and being revolutionary at the time for effects, etc). Some things were better, some things were worse, star wars is still star wars though, fun movies aimed at children. The problem is that these children grew up and have their perfect model of star wars in their head, remembering how they felt while watching these movies for the first time. No new star wars movie will be able to compare to that, no new blockbuster aimed at the whole family will be able to replicate it in fact.
Might be time to hand star wars to the next generations and find something which can still wow you, dune will be out soon enough :>
It's always funny to me when I hear this tired, regurgitated argument. I'm going to poke a hole in it right now: I liked The Force Awakens. But does that matter? Of course not. Nobody can justify The Last Jedi as a complete film, so they just attack the fans, they say the old movies weren't as good, they say "you just didn't get it". I've heard all of this before. But I know people are capable of making good movies because I still see really good movies come out.
Am i supposed to that all of that text like the other humans? :o
Well, i liked the progress on the jouneys of Kylo Ren and Rey in the Last Jedi. That felt like evolvement of human people, where stuff happens and not that the plot demands a threat and how to stop it by heroes. ...which was still there and overall it was not the best part of story in this movie. Empire Strikes Back was good because things evolved and happend. Driven by the people, not something threat needs to be stopped and after that the movie itself is over. Star Wars in best is space opera. As in soap opera, never ending story, but in space.
Also...i begin to be annoyed by the need of a Star Wars Trilogy. I understand, there was an orginal trilogy and it became a cult classic, so there was a new trilogy - the prequel trilogy by now - and these days we get another trilogiy. And because things go well on buissenes side, there is another trilogy planned. But why not make it a continuing story with just more movies? Lets face it, in the end thats what these movies are. Just separated by something something because Star Wars movies needs to be made as trilogies.
On October 05 2018 20:01 opisska wrote: How the hell do yoy find the motivation to vomit so much text becuase a movie has mildly disappointed you?
Hating Star Wars has become its own industry. several clever youtube content creators have monetized the anger
I got paid zero dollars to do this, and did it in my spare time. I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
i think this guy monetizes the Star Wars Hate pretty well.
Disney has fucked up everything... the movies.. the toys and the video games. its a tri-fecta of incompetence!
On October 06 2018 05:29 greenelve wrote: Also...i begin to be annoyed by the need of a Star Wars Trilogy. I understand, there was an orginal trilogy and it became a cult classic,
factoring inflation the 1977 Movie is still the #1 money maker. it did not "become" anything. it was a smash success from day 1.
a "cult classic" for that era would be something like Blade Runner. Star Wars was a mainline, mainstream, overwhelming success that formed the foundation of huge money makers in toys, clothes, lunch boxes, and video games.
On October 06 2018 04:38 The_Red_Viper wrote: Always funny to me when people pretend that the old star wars movies were so much better when in reality they really were not. (outside of influence and being revolutionary at the time for effects, etc). Some things were better, some things were worse, star wars is still star wars though, fun movies aimed at children. The problem is that these children grew up and have their perfect model of star wars in their head, remembering how they felt while watching these movies for the first time. No new star wars movie will be able to compare to that, no new blockbuster aimed at the whole family will be able to replicate it in fact.
Might be time to hand star wars to the next generations and find something which can still wow you, dune will be out soon enough :>
It's always funny to me when I hear this tired, regurgitated argument. I'm going to poke a hole in it right now: I liked The Force Awakens. But does that matter? Of course not. Nobody can justify The Last Jedi as a complete film, so they just attack the fans, they say the old movies weren't as good, they say "you just didn't get it". I've heard all of this before. But I know people are capable of making good movies because I still see really good movies come out.
Your statement about TFA in the op didn't read like you were all that big of a fan of it either. I am not saying anyone who disliked TLJ heavily cannot feel that way, pretending it is so much worse than the star wars movies which came before is absurd though. That is the reason i find this whole outcry of "fans" around the world amusing. You liking TFA better is not surprising either, it was so close to the OT in its narrative to make exactly that happen. TLJ was more bold, with all the faults it has ofc. I am not defending it as a great or even good movie, i wouldn't defend the OT as such either though.
On October 06 2018 04:38 The_Red_Viper wrote: Always funny to me when people pretend that the old star wars movies were so much better when in reality they really were not. (outside of influence and being revolutionary at the time for effects, etc). Some things were better, some things were worse, star wars is still star wars though, fun movies aimed at children. The problem is that these children grew up and have their perfect model of star wars in their head, remembering how they felt while watching these movies for the first time.
So we're talking people born from approximately ... 1960 to 1980.
Did WWF Champ Bruno Sammartino get pinned to the mat for a 3-count in front of 23,000 italians packed into MSG in the 70s? Did Bruno Sammartino ever give up when put in a submission hold? did he ever say `i quit`? Never, Ever. Sammartino was an italian champion for all the italians who paid big money to watch pro wrestling. Vince Mcmahon gave them the hero they wanted.
Did "Real American" Hulk Hogan ever lose with 50,000+ "Hulkamanics" packed into a giant stadium in the 80s against Iran's Iron Sheik? Nope.
People born from 1960 to 1980 have a certain vision of what a hero should be. Luke Skywalker embodied that. So did Bruno Sammartino and Hulk Hogan.
Disney took Luke Skywalker and turned him into Pete Rose. Considering they control Luke's fate because the whole thing is fake and fictional... it was a very bad move. Everyone i talk to who is 38+ hated what Disney did to Luke Skywalker.
I could give a flying fuck about Luke Skywalker.. the whole universe bores me to tears.. .but all the people over 38 that i've spoken with about the Disney movies... i can feel the hate they have for what Disney did to Luke Skywalker... it'd be like me buying the WWF off of Vince Mcmahon in 1987 and then jobbing out Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania the very next year.
Let's contrast this with how Bobby Kotick dealt with people born from 1960 to 1980. What did Mr. Kotick do? He BOUGHT everlasting, timeless moments of joy from their youth when he BOUGHT the Activision brand in 1991. Memories of Pitfall, Spider Fighter and River Raid. Games an order of magnitude better than anything else on the Atari 2600. Did he turn Pitfall Harry into Pete Rose? ummm, no. Pitfall Harry remains untouched so that all these people who are currently in their prime money earning years can still look upon Activision with great fondness. This is how you take a company with zero human resources in 1991 and built it into a 7 Billion dollar a year monster.
Kotick >> Iger
Bob Iger is well on his way to fucking the Star Wars franchise into the ground.
The question is if you have to bring back all the hardcore OT fans who want to see their headcanon fanfiction fulfilled or if it is fine to go another way. So far the trilogy movies did excellent at the box office, yes TLJ dropped a lot compared to TFA but so did the 2nd movie in each trilogy. Still interesting angle you got there, appreciated the comparison :D
On October 06 2018 05:29 greenelve wrote: Also...i begin to be annoyed by the need of a Star Wars Trilogy. I understand, there was an orginal trilogy and it became a cult classic,
factoring inflation the 1977 Movie is still the #1 money maker. it did not "become" anything. it was a smash success from day 1.
a "cult classic" for that era would be something like Blade Runner. Star Wars was a mainline, mainstream, overwhelming success that formed the foundation of huge money makers in toys, clothes, lunch boxes, and video games.
I mean in term of trilogy. That part, that there has to be a 3 movie cycle, is the thing that "became". Sorry for this missunderstanding.
And i dont care about money. I care about my ..enjoyness?
On October 06 2018 05:50 The_Red_Viper wrote: So far the trilogy movies did excellent at the box office,
There is some lag between a bad move/idea/event and a revenue decline.
The crappy Toronto Blue Jays led the American League in attendance last year mainly because their previous 2 years were great. A year later their attendance is now garbage.... it took a year to filter through. Same thing is happening with Star Wars. People are pissed off about TLJ and so the Solo movie took the hit for it.
toys and video games are not doing well. Iger/Disney decided to shut down LucasArts and go with EA. Bad Move by him. The toys are selling for less than 10% their original retail price.
On October 06 2018 05:29 greenelve wrote: Also...i begin to be annoyed by the need of a Star Wars Trilogy. I understand, there was an orginal trilogy and it became a cult classic,
factoring inflation the 1977 Movie is still the #1 money maker. it did not "become" anything. it was a smash success from day 1.
a "cult classic" for that era would be something like Blade Runner. Star Wars was a mainline, mainstream, overwhelming success that formed the foundation of huge money makers in toys, clothes, lunch boxes, and video games.
I mean in term of trilogy. That part, that there has to be a 3 movie cycle, is the thing that "became". Sorry for this missunderstanding.
yo, no biggie man. just clarifying stuff. if i came off too strong there.. sry man! its all good. you should come visit canada and see if you can apologize faster than me!
On October 06 2018 06:13 JimmyJRaynor wrote: yo, no biggie man. just clarifying stuff. if i came off too strong there.. sry man! its all good. you should come visit canada and see if you can apologize faster than me!
How about this: the first order gets a genderbend ray gun, and hits the resistance with a surprise attack, turning all the men in the resistance into women, thinking it will make them weaker. But it actually makes them stronger, and they finally beat down the first order once and for all. They were searching for a cure to turn back normal, but after they win the battle they realize they actually like it better this way and don't want to change back.
Honestly, all the new star wars movies have felt like they were written by star wars fan boys, and that's something you might see in a random fan fiction, so you really can't rule it out.
On October 06 2018 05:29 greenelve wrote: Am i supposed to that all of that text like the other humans? :o
Well, i liked the progress on the jouneys of Kylo Ren and Rey in the Last Jedi. That felt like evolvement of human people, where stuff happens and not that the plot demands a threat and how to stop it by heroes. ...which was still there and overall it was not the best part of story in this movie. Empire Strikes Back was good because things evolved and happend. Driven by the people, not something threat needs to be stopped and after that the movie itself is over. Star Wars in best is space opera. As in soap opera, never ending story, but in space.
Also...i begin to be annoyed by the need of a Star Wars Trilogy. I understand, there was an orginal trilogy and it became a cult classic, so there was a new trilogy - the prequel trilogy by now - and these days we get another trilogiy. And because things go well on buissenes side, there is another trilogy planned. But why not make it a continuing story with just more movies? Lets face it, in the end thats what these movies are. Just separated by something something because Star Wars movies needs to be made as trilogies.
I never felt like a prequel trilogy NEEDED to be made, or a sequel trilogy NEEDED to be made, but I thought it could be cool if there was a sequel trilogy. That being said, in TLJ, I liked the scenes with Rey, Luke, and Kylo the best. I don't know if they made much progress as characters in the movie, though. I still don't know what Rey's personality is supposed to be like.
On October 06 2018 05:31 JimmyJRaynor wrote: Disney has fucked up everything... the movies.. the toys and the video games. its a tri-fecta of incompetence!
I would argue that EA fucked up the games.
On October 06 2018 05:50 The_Red_Viper wrote:
Your statement about TFA in the op didn't read like you were all that big of a fan of it either. I am not saying anyone who disliked TLJ heavily cannot feel that way, pretending it is so much worse than the star wars movies which came before is absurd though. That is the reason i find this whole outcry of "fans" around the world amusing. You liking TFA better is not surprising either, it was so close to the OT in its narrative to make exactly that happen. TLJ was more bold, with all the faults it has ofc. I am not defending it as a great or even good movie, i wouldn't defend the OT as such either though.
Actually, most of my complaints about TFA are that it followed the OT too closely, especially in regards to Starkiller Base. I don't think that should've been in the movie at all. I actually looked at the time in the movie, and if I remember correctly, there is about 15-20 minutes between the time Starkiller Base is introduced until it's destroyed.
On October 06 2018 06:37 jrkirby wrote: How about this: the first order gets a genderbend ray gun, and hits the resistance with a surprise attack, turning all the men in the resistance into women, thinking it will make them weaker. But it actually makes them stronger, and they finally beat down the first order once and for all. They were searching for a cure to turn back normal, but after they win the battle they realize they actually like it better this way and don't want to change back.
Honestly, all the new star wars movies have felt like they were written by star wars fan boys, and that's something you might see in a random fan fiction, so you really can't rule it out.
But the Resistance already is made up of STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS and Poe Dameron. Who is probably gay and latino in the movie. I dunno, I just grabbed the RotJ script and wrote a "new story" on top of it. I guess I didn't really go into the "why" as much, but it has to do what JJ Abrams has done in the past with the Star Trek movies, and then with TFA. Rian Johnson copied a ton of shit from The Empire Strikes Back, but did it in a way that constantly was like "SIKE! IT'S NOT THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. SURPRISE, ASSHOLES."
This is how you create and develop a strong female character.
in this movie Pam Grier is the hottest 45 year old woman i've ever seen in my entire life... and i've been watching women a long time.. i know what i'm talking about.
On October 06 2018 05:29 greenelve wrote: Am i supposed to that all of that text like the other humans? :o
Well, i liked the progress on the jouneys of Kylo Ren and Rey in the Last Jedi. That felt like evolvement of human people, where stuff happens and not that the plot demands a threat and how to stop it by heroes. ...which was still there and overall it was not the best part of story in this movie. Empire Strikes Back was good because things evolved and happend. Driven by the people, not something threat needs to be stopped and after that the movie itself is over. Star Wars in best is space opera. As in soap opera, never ending story, but in space.
Also...i begin to be annoyed by the need of a Star Wars Trilogy. I understand, there was an orginal trilogy and it became a cult classic, so there was a new trilogy - the prequel trilogy by now - and these days we get another trilogiy. And because things go well on buissenes side, there is another trilogy planned. But why not make it a continuing story with just more movies? Lets face it, in the end thats what these movies are. Just separated by something something because Star Wars movies needs to be made as trilogies.
I never felt like a prequel trilogy NEEDED to be made, or a sequel trilogy NEEDED to be made, but I thought it could be cool if there was a sequel trilogy.
* Darth Vader Voice* Nooooooooooo
I dont mean the specific (story of the) prequel trilogy, or sequel trilogy. I mean that it needs to be three connected movies. Why not make just movies with a more or less continuing story? It feels a bit restricted to me, to have three movies only... Episode 9? Better close all arcs, because thats the last one of this trilogy. But with the new trilogy after that, we can open new arcs. And it doesnt really feels like that the current arc with Kylo Ren is close to an end.
With a new trilogy on the horizon, it makes it also feel more like a cash grab, than telling a story. The advantage of contuing movies would be, there is only a next one coming. And after that another next. So its only one movie on the horizon. Less to make more money, more to continuing the story. Sure in the end its the same with much more movies to make money, but it would feel different - and thats my point.
On October 06 2018 05:29 greenelve wrote: Am i supposed to that all of that text like the other humans? :o
Well, i liked the progress on the jouneys of Kylo Ren and Rey in the Last Jedi. That felt like evolvement of human people, where stuff happens and not that the plot demands a threat and how to stop it by heroes. ...which was still there and overall it was not the best part of story in this movie. Empire Strikes Back was good because things evolved and happend. Driven by the people, not something threat needs to be stopped and after that the movie itself is over. Star Wars in best is space opera. As in soap opera, never ending story, but in space.
Also...i begin to be annoyed by the need of a Star Wars Trilogy. I understand, there was an orginal trilogy and it became a cult classic, so there was a new trilogy - the prequel trilogy by now - and these days we get another trilogiy. And because things go well on buissenes side, there is another trilogy planned. But why not make it a continuing story with just more movies? Lets face it, in the end thats what these movies are. Just separated by something something because Star Wars movies needs to be made as trilogies.
I never felt like a prequel trilogy NEEDED to be made, or a sequel trilogy NEEDED to be made, but I thought it could be cool if there was a sequel trilogy.
* Darth Vader Voice* Nooooooooooo
I dont mean the specific (story of the) prequel trilogy, or sequel trilogy. I mean that it needs to be three connected movies. Why not make just movies with a more or less continuing story? It feels a bit restricted to me, to have three movies only... Episode 9? Better close all arcs, because thats the last one of this trilogy. But with the new trilogy after that, we can open new arcs. And it doesnt really feels like that the current arc with Kylo Ren is close to an end.
With a new trilogy on the horizon, it makes it also feel more like a cash grab, than telling a story. The advantage of contuing movies would be, there is only a next one coming. And after that another next. So its only one movie on the horizon. Less to make more money, more to continuing the story. Sure in the end its the same with much more movies to make money, but it would feel different - and thats my point.
Also hi Nina.
I'm not sure why they need to come in threes. I think it has two purposes: first, to tell an extended story that wouldn't work as a single movie, and second, because the new owners down want to stray too far from the original framework. That's why when I was writing this blog, I basically said "This is gonna be RotJ". That's sort of an annoyance I have, which is that these movies seem like a big cash-grab on the behalf of Disney. If you set up three consecutive movies that a massive audience is almost guaranteed to see, then it's more money. But each movie has to set up the next one to get people excited. TFA did that, but I don't think TLJ did.
The weird thing is that I keep getting roped into talking about TLJ, because people keep going "No no it's actually good". Also hi, greenelve. I'm not gonna say your real name on a public forum because I don't know if you'd want that.
Yeah, i think being a trilogy is part of Star Wars these days... has been for a long while. So Disney has to keep it a trilogy. But a single movie dont have to stand for itself. Empire Strikes Back works wonderfully as single movie and as part of a bigger story. If you talk about set up the next film, Disney with Marvel is exactly doing that with their MCU. So why not going a step further - like Empire Strikes Back - and just do movies that can be treated as single movie and part of a bigger story. TLJ for me has the problem, that i think its hard to end all the conflicts and storylines about the main persons in the next movie. But they have to, the trilogy arc will be over and a new one will come.
Im afraid that many people are turned off from Star Wars because of all this gender/plothole talk after TLJ and the quality of Han Solo and the frequency we have Star Wars Movies now. And im not entirely talking about quality itself, more the image these points have. I liked Han Solo movie, though there was no real development in Han's character and like Honest Trailers said "its not a movie about Han Solo origin, its the origin of all of his property" like the dices, his name, the ship, his gun and so on.
And greenelve is my real name and i actually liked TLJ overall. Besides many flaws and implications, which i dont like to have ever happend or mentionend.
i never cared much about the Star Wars universe... positively or negatively. The games felt uninspired. However, I'm now being asked why I'm following the haters of the new Star Wars trilogy so closely when I claim I don't care.
my reply is : "some men aren't looking for anything logical... some men just want to watch the Star Wars world burn"
Speaking of manbabies being threatened by women, I wonder why they didn't go with a female sith apprentice kinda similar to Darth Talon
Having a female villain in Star Wars would make sense as it's an easy way to introduce a powerful female character without having to deal with one of the main criticism against Rey which is that she's a shoe horned mary sue. No one questions the power of a Sith Lord or apprentice. Had the new trilogy been about her progressive passing to the light side it would have been gucci
On October 10 2018 02:06 algue wrote: Speaking of manbabies being threatened by women, I wonder why they didn't go with a female sith apprentice kinda similar to Darth Talon
Having a female villain in Star Wars would make sense as it's an easy way to introduce a powerful female character without having to deal with one of the main criticism against Rey which is that she's a shoe horned mary sue. No one questions the power of a Sith Lord or apprentice. Had the new trilogy been about her progressive passing to the light side it would have been gucci
They didn't do a lot of things that they said they were going to do. Kathleen Kennedy stated that she wanted to have a woman direct a Star Wars movie. That sure didn't happen. All the scripts were also drafted by men.
On October 10 2018 02:06 algue wrote: Speaking of manbabies being threatened by women, I wonder why they didn't go with a female sith apprentice kinda similar to Darth Talon
Having a female villain in Star Wars would make sense as it's an easy way to introduce a powerful female character without having to deal with one of the main criticism against Rey which is that she's a shoe horned mary sue. No one questions the power of a Sith Lord or apprentice. Had the new trilogy been about her progressive passing to the light side it would have been gucci
Probably because they wanted the main hero to be a woman and all bad guys are men.