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So, mom is a pathological perfectionist, admitted authoritarian, and social recluse.
More or less, she's always right, you're (read: me) always wrong, and nothing is ever her fault. She always has a convenient, and occasionally, clever excuse for her behavior.
Tonight, she barges into my room, tells me I need to go downstairs to talk to her, and the tone of her voice indicates to me one of two things: (1) it's urgent, or (2) she's going to yell at me, blame me for things I had no part of. Of course, it's the latter.
She gives me a rather stern lecture on how a recent event this evening involving a family member was my fault, despite the fact that I was neither present for said event, nor had any knowledge of said event. Then she tells me that I either need to start following all of her draconian rules or I have to leave.
I wouldn't normally take this type of behavior seriously, except for that she's recently been making small comments suggesting she wants me out.
Basically, she seems to want me out, and I want to get out, too.
It's good to know a quiet, shy kid who does nothing other than go to class and try to enjoy his life is such a bad son.
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United States22883 Posts
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Sorry to hear that, how old are you?
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Could you live on campus or split rent with a friend or something? Sounds like it wouldn't be so bad living away from your mom if you could.
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I'm considering both options at the moment. It won't be bad living away from my mom; it's just more that I always resist change, even when I know it's for the best.
Plus, if I were to rent my own place, that'd mean I'd have to work part time, which is something I was hoping to avoid while attending class.
Oh well; life can't always work the way you want it to.
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
I cant be in my house for more than 15 minutes without fighting with my mom...maybe its a white 20 year old guy thing :S . But yeah, get the fuck out by any means necessary
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Sorry to hear that, Kennigit. Although it's good to know I'm not the only one that doesn't get along with their mother at all.
Edit: Come to think of it, when I do have the opportunity to leave, I think the hardest part will actually be telling her I'm leaving. I know she's going to give me a really hard time.
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Was about the same for me when I was 20. Not as bad though. We were not really fighting, just didn't get along very well. I moved out and it was the best decision I ever made. I do get along really with my mother now too.
My advice, move out! 20 is a good age for it.
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your mom sounds exactly like mine, february 10 was my birthday, what do i get? She banned me form PC and didn't talk to me for 2 weeks ... best birthday ever. I don't drink, dont do drugs, i got into university, i dont go to a lot of party's and etc
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Jeez Rob. I'm 20 and get along with my parents perfectly. You must be a bad son!
<3
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On February 21 2008 14:50 MeriaDoKk wrote: your mom sounds exactly like mine, february 10 was my birthday, what do i get? She banned me form PC and didn't talk to me for 2 weeks ... best birthday ever. I don't drink, dont do drugs, i got into university, i dont go to a lot of party's and etc
whoa ... seems like overkill
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Don't tell her when you're leaving. Just print up a three-feet squate picture of goatse and hang it up in the living room for when she comes home, and let her draw her own conclusions.
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hm, my family isn't like that.
All I can say is good luck.
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I'm 19 and in a dorm at college, and I constantly yearn for the chance to go back and spend time with my family. My mom and I get a long very well, so do my brother and I. Although they're separated, my dad and I do as well.
I guess it's because of all the things we've gone through together.
I don't know your situation, but I hope that spending time apart you can have a better less "intrusive" relationship with one another, and that you find change is good and everything becomes better off.
Good luck!
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Yes soon 21 and still getting yelled by your mom, yes that deserves a blog because it's the worst thing that can happend in anyone's life when their mom kicks them out let's all show sympathy. Wait, let me take a day of my life...no nvm they would put me on Ophra and everyone would cry a reaver but anyway um...time to move on? ._.
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oh noes, its the blog police
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On February 21 2008 18:04 Redemption. wrote: Yes soon 21 and still getting yelled by your mom, yes that deserves a blog because it's the worst thing that can happend in anyone's life when their mom kicks them out let's all show sympathy. Wait, let me take a day of my life...no nvm they would put me on Ophra and everyone would cry a reaver but anyway um...time to move on? ._.
You're just being a cunt, stop it.
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On February 21 2008 18:22 Energies wrote:Show nested quote +On February 21 2008 18:04 Redemption. wrote: Yes soon 21 and still getting yelled by your mom, yes that deserves a blog because it's the worst thing that can happend in anyone's life when their mom kicks them out let's all show sympathy. Wait, let me take a day of my life...no nvm they would put me on Ophra and everyone would cry a reaver but anyway um...time to move on? ._. You're just being a cunt, stop it.
MOMMY! He's mean to me MOM get him! rofl...
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if redemption wants to waste his time being an idiot, might as well let him
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On February 21 2008 19:15 fusionsdf wrote: if redemption wants to waste his time being an idiot, might as well let him Nono u get it wrong Im just being sarcastic how grown up men don't act like ones, anyone past the age of 18 who still clinge to their mom afraid to move on to the hardship of the real world and become independent have no balls and has yet failed to enter manhood.
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Im in a really similar situation to you. Every conversation I try to have with my mum turns into an argument. I spend most of my time out of the house, coming home pretty much only to sleep. I would love to move out, but getting a place will be a bitch. Its going to happen soon however.
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On February 21 2008 19:22 Redemption. wrote:Show nested quote +On February 21 2008 19:15 fusionsdf wrote: if redemption wants to waste his time being an idiot, might as well let him Nono u get it wrong Im just being sarcastic how grown up men don't act like ones, anyone past the age of 18 who still clinge to their mom afraid to move on to the hardship of the real world and become independent have no balls and has yet failed to enter manhood.
or like, lawl, maybe it's a lot cheaper to live at home while you're going to college? nah nah nahhhhh couldnt be it
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On February 21 2008 19:22 Redemption. wrote:Show nested quote +On February 21 2008 19:15 fusionsdf wrote: if redemption wants to waste his time being an idiot, might as well let him Nono u get it wrong Im just being sarcastic how grown up men don't act like ones, anyone past the age of 18 who still clinge to their mom afraid to move on to the hardship of the real world and become independent have no balls and has yet failed to enter manhood.
Their's funny sarcasm and then there's "I'm a douche bag" sarcasm. You have accomplished the latter and in the process made yourself look like an absolute prick...if you dont have anything constructive to say on the topic i suggest you not post anything or i forsee a ban in your future.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
so.. you HAVENT been kicked out, she just kinda asked you to leave (thats the implication you interpret)? Make a new blog when she actually does kick you out.
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Let's look at the facts:
1) rpf posts at TL.Net and is banned every 6 months or so because we get sick of him 2) rpf's mom has had to put up with him for 20 years and doesn't have the option of a temp ban.
Logic dictates...
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On February 21 2008 18:04 Redemption. wrote: Yes soon 21 and still getting yelled by your mom, yes that deserves a blog because it's the worst thing that can happend in anyone's life when their mom kicks them out let's all show sympathy. Wait, let me take a day of my life...no nvm they would put me on Ophra and everyone would cry a reaver but anyway um...time to move on? ._.
Only thing I liked about that whole paragraph
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On February 22 2008 00:24 GoSuPlAyEr wrote:Show nested quote +On February 21 2008 19:22 Redemption. wrote:On February 21 2008 19:15 fusionsdf wrote: if redemption wants to waste his time being an idiot, might as well let him Nono u get it wrong Im just being sarcastic how grown up men don't act like ones, anyone past the age of 18 who still clinge to their mom afraid to move on to the hardship of the real world and become independent have no balls and has yet failed to enter manhood. Their's funny sarcasm and then there's "I'm a douche bag" sarcasm. You have accomplished the latter and in the process made yourself look like an absolute prick...if you dont have anything constructive to say on the topic i suggest you not post anything or i forsee a ban in your future. I will get banned for telling adult men to grow up and move on with their life in a "sarcastic" way i.g move out of your mom's house? Ask your uncle/grandfather or any man born after WW2 and you will see this is pretty common sense heck my college teachers even told me this. Not particularly offensive maybe because Im the only one with the cahonees to bring up the subject in a blog.
And what constructive posts have you added on the topic? Nothing really just critisising me, now since whatever I say won't prove my point how about reading this and see my point of view.
When Does A Boy Become A Man?
On a side note I was not intentionally trying to "hurt" anybody's feelings.
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On February 22 2008 00:52 Flaccid wrote: Let's look at the facts:
1) rpf posts at TL.Net and is banned every 6 months or so because we get sick of him 2) rpf's mom has had to put up with him for 20 years and doesn't have the option of a temp ban.
Logic dictates...
hhahahahah
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On February 21 2008 19:22 Redemption. wrote:Show nested quote +On February 21 2008 19:15 fusionsdf wrote: if redemption wants to waste his time being an idiot, might as well let him Nono u get it wrong Im just being sarcastic how grown up men don't act like ones, anyone past the age of 18 who still clinge to their mom afraid to move on to the hardship of the real world and become independent have no balls and has yet failed to enter manhood. I actually fail to see how I'm clinging to my mom. Me leaving just isn't what I had planned for right now. I was planning on leaving probably about a year or so from now when I had my degree.
Oh, and please learn the basic rules of grammar. It's not that difficult.
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Don't argue with him, just cry him a reaver!
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On February 22 2008 01:35 rpf wrote: /cries him a reaver /Humbleness ó_ò I will go over 5th grade now and laenr prropre grmar.
But man, sooner or later you have to take the initiativ and find an apartment/job etc no one can really do it for you and your mom loves you and is afraid of the day you will move out but she knows this is what's best for your future, she already implied it so it's up to you now...
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Oh, I know. I'm not whining about it. I was just venting because I never saw any of this coming.
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She kicked you out 'cause you play DotA all day! I tell you!
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How did you know? She has this ridiculous idea that I do nothing other than play video games, which she, of course, considers a waste. Then again, she also believed that video games caused the two kids at Columbine to commit murder.
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your mom probably has a borderline personality disorder.
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Why didn't you move out 3 years ago? If I had your mom I would have been gone a loooong time ago. There's no excuse for a grown man putting up with shit from his parents.
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On February 22 2008 04:27 werd wrote: your mom probably has a borderline personality disorder.
It's called "being a woman"
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Calgary25938 Posts
On February 22 2008 04:23 rpf wrote:How did you know? She has this ridiculous idea that I do nothing other than play video games, which she, of course, considers a waste.
That sounds pretty logical to me.
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That solved the mystery...NO computer games for litle rpf here...no touchy or daddie will get the belt!
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On February 22 2008 05:29 Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On February 22 2008 04:23 rpf wrote:How did you know? She has this ridiculous idea that I do nothing other than play video games, which she, of course, considers a waste. That sounds pretty logical to me. Financially, I'm better off living with my mother. I chose reducing the amount of debt I will be in after receiving my degree to be smaller than it could have potentially been in the event I moved out earlier.
Either way I get screwed over.
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Baltimore, USA22222 Posts
So.... why don't you just get a part time job? Money + you get out of the house + get her off your back...
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yeah dude, its a pain in the ass to get a job and cover bills, but shit, if i was in ur situation, id be outta there the day i turned 18.
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moms are always right, even when they are wrong
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If cost of living is high where he lives, he probably wouldn't be able ot move out with a parttime job. In socal, you need a full-time job + roommates. I have a parttime job (20-30 hrs /wk) while I finish school, supplemented with loans (about 6k/year). Reasonable debt is better than coming home to bitchy people who are desperately grasping to retain control over your life. I wasn't able to be friends with my parents until I moved out. We have a great relationship now.
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Braavos36362 Posts
this isn't really a big deal, a lot of people are annoyed with their parents. you are simply not annoyed enough to part with the value you get from saving on housing. if its not bad enough to force you to get a job and move out, it's not that bad.
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If your gonna live in her house, you gotta live by her rules... thats quite fair. Old people tend to get annoying, but thats normal.. ignore the annoying things, listen to what they say.. its not like they're going to live for much longer.. Only once they're gone you'll realize how much you actually love them.
I know this post sounds cheesy, but trust me on this...
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On February 22 2008 11:15 EvilTeletubby wrote: So.... why don't you just get a part time job? Money + you get out of the house + get her off your back... There are other factors I have to consider that I'm not comfortable sharing here.
While I have considered that option numerous times, it almost always comes back to one thing: it probably wouldn't work.
On February 22 2008 11:31 Hawk wrote: yeah dude, its a pain in the ass to get a job and cover bills, but shit, if i was in ur situation, id be outta there the day i turned 18. Yeah, I've wanted out for a long time. It took me a while to realize I wanted out not because every college student does, but more because my mom is just too overbearing.
On February 22 2008 13:18 HeadBangaa wrote: If cost of living is high where he lives, he probably wouldn't be able ot move out with a parttime job. In socal, you need a full-time job + roommates. I have a parttime job (20-30 hrs /wk) while I finish school, supplemented with loans (about 6k/year). Reasonable debt is better than coming home to bitchy people who are desperately grasping to retain control over your life. I wasn't able to be friends with my parents until I moved out. We have a great relationship now. The only way I could afford my own place on the pay of a part time job would be if I rented the shittiest place I could find with one or two other people. Now, the shittiest places I know of would result in a cost on my car insurance. I'd have to drive much father to get to class, and only god knows how long to get to my hypothetical job. T_T
On February 22 2008 13:28 Hot_Bid wrote: this isn't really a big deal, a lot of people are annoyed with their parents. you are simply not annoyed enough to part with the value you get from saving on housing. if its not bad enough to force you to get a job and move out, it's not that bad. A friend of mine once said something to the effect of "You've lived with her for 19 years already; what's a couple more?" Of course this was a while ago when we were talking about how she's difficult to be around, nevermind live with, and that I just wanted my degree so I was in a better position to live on my own.
I do want out, but when I weigh the pros and cons of it all, it generally comes down to the money aspect of it all vs. my sanity.
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On February 22 2008 13:18 HeadBangaa wrote: I wasn't able to be friends with my parents until I moved out. We have a great relationship now.
Try living @ home AND working with your family
/facepalm.
I think I like torturing myself
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Move man move! I and lots of my friends were in the same situation as you. Tough that was a good 8-9 years ago lot’s of us just moved out. One by one. Some had the money or the job others worked their asses off. I was one of the last ones to acctualy move out (because i used my money to travel and wasn’t really home that much). Countless arguments, wich of course you can’t win, because well she’s a woman and they don’t need sense to make a point (at least they don’t care).
Some people, when they move out, move to a place where everything is spitshiny and their lifes go on with the same standard they had while others completly shake of their luxury. The reason why i left was simple. My parents split up i lived with my mom for about 4 years, my dad was a workaholic (and alcoholic) and my mom a gold digger. And the less money she had, the more she needed to vent. And since my dad wasn’t there, i fought the battles. You can keep up with that kinda stuff for a long time, but there comes a moment were you explode and all the frustration comes out.
So i moved. My first place: 1 room, a balcony and a bathroom. Since i sleep japanese style the room had everything i needed. I lived in the middle of the redlight district, 5th and last floor. Kinda like peter parker just without the superpowers and the girl that brings over a cookie was a whore and her cookie was her dick. Don’t get me started on the glas of milk. But i had a solid door and headphones did the rest. The only thing i missed there was my studio equipment (music) but i was too afraid to bring it there because you never know. I traveled 3 hours per day for work and even tough the place was shit. It was mine. Granted my sexlife hit rock bottom there.
My second place: 2rooms, a kitchen and a bathroom. Felt and smelled like heaven. And a kitchen!! How i missed that for 1 ½ years. So one room was the living room / bedroom and the other one my studio / gaming room. No „what’s that smell?“ moments, no „who’s that infront of my door?“ moments either. It looked kinda like the left appartment from friends just without the 3rd room.
Now you need to understand that i grew up in a family that had some serious cash. Until they of course lost it, but still. I never cared what anyone tought about my situation and i was happy to just life on my own. Oh i remember the words of my mom then: „You can’t live there, you never get a job with that place“. Yeah my mom…status was everything for her. Never meant anything to me.
Living on your own can be a tough bitch. But it’s worth it and it get’s better with every new place you find. Today i have my 4 rooms and 2 balconys and i love every inch of it.
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On February 21 2008 14:06 rpf wrote: I'm 20. I'm 21 in May. Well you should be moving out anyways...youre too old to be living at home.
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On February 27 2008 14:54 TheFoReveRwaR wrote:Well you should be moving out anyways...youre too old to be living at home.
I moved out when i was 20, my brother who is 4 years older moved out after i did :p
Its not that hes to old, its just that due to his family life its better if he leaves, hes hit that threshhold of mommy wants you out and is turfing you from the nest.
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I don't understand how you are still living at home when you are twenty... Are you Asian (or more specifically, Chinese)?
I get along with my mother so well, and I still moved out into University dorms after I turned 18, I just wanted to try living on my own, and it's so cool.
I mean, sure, it's nice when everything is ready for you, it's nice when you don't have to do shit, it's nice when you don't have to worry about anything, but you have to move out sooner or later.
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If he was Chinese
1. His parents would have moved him out if he was playing massive video game. 2. This blog wouldn't exist because he enjoys taking care of his parents.
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