I Collect ProGamer Underwear

We all love our favourite progamers, just like we love any sports stars. So I suppose it shouldn’t sound too weird when I say that I collect StarCraft players’ underwear. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but if you put your mind to it, I’m sure you can think of weirder things to collect… definitely. Stamps and Dan Brown books and other garbage. Who’d bother?

Just like anyone else who makes a collection like this, I’d always secretly hoped that I’d be able to use the resourced I’d gain from selling my collection to fund my dreams*

Anyway, here’s the list of some of the awesome progamer swag I’ve managed to grab during my time in Korea**

Jangbi:

Anyone who reads my blogs regularly will probably have caught my disambiguation post for people trying to tell apart the different people with the “Jang” sound at the start of their name. That Jangbi was included alongside heroes like Jango Fett and Django Reinhardt is no coincidence.

One day, staring at some YouTube video or other, I saw a shot of Jangbi’s face at just the moment he erupted storms across the entire screen. A plethora of storms, an ejaculation of micro… I simply had to acquire his underwear.

+ Show Spoiler +

It wasn't until the above arrived that I realised something very important about JangBi. He keeps the storms close to his heart… and even closer to his wiener.

Leta:

Leta is a kind of Terran genius. I mean, I don’t normally give him credit for it, because I think he’s a little dwarfy and shrivelled and, to be honest, hobbits kind of freak me out, but sometimes you just have to stand up and say,

“Well played man. I don’t even like you but I feel like I need to own an article of clothing that’s been intimately acquainted with your nether regions while you breezed through some of my favourite players as though they weren’t even there.”

+ Show Spoiler +

I was the happiest man ever. I mean, I still paid through the nose for the things, because he may be a wretched little goblin, but he knows what his pants are worth to me.

Hyuk:

When I was first started following Hyuk, I have to admit that he wasn’t the most promising of progamers. He was the guy who had a tendency to almost win but never quite get there. That’s all well and good, but the fact was that I enjoyed seeing him play. I would wait until the last moment to see how he managed to “Hyuk” himself this week. Good times.

Even his Liquipedia entry recognises the verb “to Hyuk oneself” as meaning to dramatically snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Given the fact that he’d managed to achieve such notoriety, I thought I’d see if I could chase down some of his underwear.

+ Show Spoiler +

Little did I know, when Hyuk “Hyuk’s himself” in the middle of a game… he usually Hyruk’s himself in real life. Messy stuff :/

Backho:

BackHo is a bit of a pimp, but it’s his dedication to the street-slang-style “ZiZiYO” that’s always been his most endearing feature for me. It’s hard not to love that kind of idealism, a will for expression that finds its way into every aspect of his game, right down to his “GG.” The man is a hero.

I’d expected his gangsta style “GG” to translate into some kind of gangsta threads, perhaps he’d be wearing underwear carved out of the bling of fallen opponenets? Who knows?

+ Show Spoiler +

Of course, we should have known that BackHo would be into this… given his history of crossdressing :/

There's even photographic evidence of local workers being shocked when they saw BackHo's underwear when he was a child, so we can at least assume it went back that far.

+ Show Spoiler +

I’m still trying for the grail. Anyone got some of TossGirl’s underwear so that I can round out my collection? That’d be pretty sweet.

* My dreams including, but not limited to, getting to be a Battlecruiser pilot when I grow up. DREAM JOB!

** I have never been to Korea.

Last edit: 2010-07-18 10:02:55

I write an advice column for amateur necromancers; feel free to ask anything you like - http://necromanswers.com/

illu Canada. July 18 2010 09:54. Posts 2531

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I am not sure what to say about this.

bearbuddy July 18 2010 09:56. Posts 3087

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Hahaha. Nice blog.

Your fascination with Jangbi is getting somewhat creepy now.

nevz Sweden. July 18 2010 09:56. Posts 72

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Well this is for sure one of the more disturbing blogs ever on TL.
Congratulations... I guess.

SirJolt Ireland. July 18 2010 09:57. Posts 2203

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I do lose the run of myself a little. I'll be honest, I'm not crazy into Jangbi, but he always seems to be the first person to mind when I start to write a blog

I write an advice column for amateur necromancers; feel free to ask anything you like - http://necromanswers.com/

Dance.jhu United States. July 18 2010 09:58. Posts 292

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what an interesting collection

It is what it is...

SirJolt Ireland. July 18 2010 10:02. Posts 2203

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You'd be surprised how hard it can be to get your hands on a famous man's shorts

I write an advice column for amateur necromancers; feel free to ask anything you like - http://necromanswers.com/

Bill Murray United States. July 18 2010 10:02. Posts 7057

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i once stole rick flairs used-napkin

University of Kentucky Basketball #1

k!llua Australia. July 18 2010 10:09. Posts 892

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hahahaha you disturbed man.

my hair is a wookie, your argument is invalid

SirJolt Ireland. July 18 2010 10:13. Posts 2203

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On July 18 2010 10:02 Bill Murray wrote:
i once stole rick flairs used-napkin

You have always been my favourite ghostbuster, but your work on TL elevates you.

I write an advice column for amateur necromancers; feel free to ask anything you like - http://necromanswers.com/

Piste Finland. July 18 2010 10:15. Posts 4708

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I'm pretty sure those aren't really their underwear. Plus the second ones looks more like shorts instead of underwear.

(づ ಠ益ಠ)づ

The_Pacifist United States. July 18 2010 10:23. Posts 540

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Do you wear them too so that their micro skills embedded in the DNA of the skin flakes in the cotton could rub off on you when you play? Or do you keep them in a controlled environment all the time to prevent contamination so that every slightly faded shade of yellow stays fresh?

Bibbit Canada. July 18 2010 10:25. Posts 4514

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When I started reading, I was wondering which player would end up being called a crossdresser. Forgot about Backho's crazy antics.

See my profile for things I've written. Samsung's Shine has developed a sick new tactic called "Pick a building you don't want the other guy to have, right click it with everything you own, then run away"

SirJolt Ireland. July 18 2010 10:27. Posts 2203

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On July 18 2010 10:15 Piste wrote:
I'm pretty sure those aren't really their underwear. Plus the second ones looks more like shorts instead of underwear.

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!

On July 18 2010 10:23 The_Pacifist wrote:
Do you wear them too so that their micro skills embedded in the DNA of the skin flakes in the cotton could rub off on you when you play? Or do you keep them in a controlled environment all the time to prevent contamination so that every slightly faded shade of yellow stays fresh?

No two ways about it, I always try to keep them in mint condition, so that they retain their value better, but every time a new season opens on ICCUP I sit down in my Jaedong boxers and try to absorb as much of his wisdom as possible...

He's so dreamy.

I write an advice column for amateur necromancers; feel free to ask anything you like - http://necromanswers.com/

frozenclaw Canada. July 18 2010 10:27. Posts 398

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I don't know what you guys are all talking about. I found genius in this man's work.

Jibba United States. July 18 2010 10:41. Posts 20231