I ama little bit drunk.

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Game 3: Reach (p) 59-48 vs SaferZerg (z) 16-11 on Neo Guillotine

I have heard rumblings about my reporting being somewhat biased towards Reach, and that I should try to be more impartial. I apologize for this, and will try to curb my enthusiasm for him from now on.

The greatest StarCraft player on the earth today (23-28 vs Z) warped in at five, while SaferZerg (4-3 vs P) spawned across the map at eleven. Safer went for a safe twelve pool build while scouting the map, while Odin himself used his brilliant intellect and cunning to start with a forge-first build which quickly led to a fast nexus. It looked as if the game would boil down to a race between Reach’s sairs and Safer’s mutalisks, but in reality there was no competition. Saferzerg was forced to switch to lurkers while the Gifted One’s air power dominated the skies.

While Safer looked to contain with his new lurkers, Reach simply shrugged off his opponents mild attempts at resistance as his dt artfully ninja sliced the drones at Safer’s expansion. Bordering on contempt for this pathetic display of zerg offense, Reach broke out of his main with a zeal/goon/temp army, decimating his opponent’s lurkers and expanding two more times. With only one expansion, Safer was unable to keep up with the protoss macro game, and with every breath Reach gave life to new legions of armies willing to do his bidding. As Safer huddled in the corner of the map, mounting no offense and trying to avoid detection, Reach launched his Spartans relentlessly, raining blue fire down upon the confused and frightened zerg. With the blood running in torrents, Safer quickly taped out in the face of the onslaught, took one look at the face of God, and ran from the MegaWeb studio to find solace in the company of lesser mortals.

Reach simply got up, made all the girls swoon with a single smile, and then got into his cloud car and headed back to the heavens for fine wine and peeled grapes.

Reach > SaferZerg

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