The Hardest day of my Life

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iNcontroL

USA. November 22 2008 04:10. Posts 28389

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I awoke feeling solid. Nothing was out of order and everything was looking up. I had enjoyed a night of drinking with my buddies at a bar. Nothing exciting but fun enough.

I did have morningwood. But that is normal and fine. I didn't have any particularly erotic dream or any reason really to have this boner but what reason do we need? It was there and I was fine with that. An ample mark of fertility and virility. I was a king of some unimportant self-contained morning jungle. Sweet. Uninspired I decided it best to get back to sleep. It was 8am or so and I was at a buddies house.. no particular need to wake up. So with a stretch to get the stiffness out I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.. thinking all would be ok.

I again awoke a couple hours later and felt fine and well. Again I noticed that my dick was at full sail and scouring the winds for a connection flight. This didn't stroke me as odd.. 2 morningwoods can happen and probably have. I usually don't mark my memory with such things but surely it has happened. In any case it was time to wake up. The house was stirring and my buddies sisters were walking around and being loud.. a typical day in their house. For them maybe.

For me I was growing astonished at what was taking place betwixt my legs.

We had downloaded the latest Dexter episode the night before so we sat and began to watch it in his living room. I noticed that my sticky situation was not going to be sticky..it was going to be hard. At this point I was beginning to commit brain time to my boner. What the fuck is keeping him around for this long. Why the fuck hasn't he given up? I went to take a piss because often times I get morningwood and it simply goes away after a nice piss.

As I am sure many of you know pissing while fully hard is fucking difficult. And let me remove all doubt and clarify now: It wasn't a soft boner that was just kinda there.. this was a rager. Something reserved for situations when only a harpoon would deal the same kind of damage. I nearly break my dick getting it to aim down and take my piss. After a long and unenjoyable piss I exit the bathroom thinking "only a matter of time." My wood had other ideas apparently.

I sat and tried to take my mind off of it. As I watched Dexter I grew increasingly uncomfortable. We had gone 3 and nearly 4 hours of solid boner with no cause. I had taken the piss and I had given it it's time but it simply wouldn't get the fuck out of my way. This situation would be fine and well at home.. I'd blast it's load and say g'bye but here? My friend's house? What the fuck am I going to do. By now it was throbbing.. it hurt. I think the sustained blood in that area was angry and was letting me know. I kept readjusting myself on the couch. I thought about ugly people and things that would normally make a flagpole flaccid. None of them appeased the angry god in my pants.

Again I interrupted my Dexter episode thinking "maybe a shit is what you want? So I set to the task of shitting while having a giant boner. Again I pry my dick below the toilet seal (this time while sitting) which was painful enough but then while I am shitting my sealevel dick pisses between the toilet and the space where the lid closes. Great. I am making a mess. Not a terrible mess mind you. But one you'd still want to avoid. The forced shit over and the mess cleaned I begin to panic. It won't leave me alone.

I suffer through the end of the Dexter episode and briskly get up telling my friend I must take a shower. I get in the bathroom take off my clothes and set the water to hot. I get in and find myself talking to my cock. "Alright you son'f'bitch, time to go." I do what every man does every day. I jerk off. I jerk with vindictive fervor. The kind of stuff reserved for priests after a wedding. It took a long time because my dick was raw with sustained blood. I didn't enjoy it and I sure as hell know why. Afterwards I towel off and stand in the bathroom looking down at my still hard dick. What-the-fuck is wrong with you. I swear if penises could smile it'd have a fucking mustache covering it's shit eating grin. Why the mustache? Cause only annoying assholes grow those. And my dick was being an annoying asshole.

I stood in the bathroom naked. Looking down at my dick. Willing flaccidity. Finally I thought I began to see it deflate. And sure enough: Like the lineup SC2gg fielded, it went down. I remember my eye threatening an appropriate tear. I had finally gotten rid of my 4.5 hour boner without a cause. Nightmares of the cialis warning "for erections that last over 4 hours please consult a doctor immediately" flooded away in a white river of showered cum.

It was hard but I managed to shake the jerk free. Don't feel bad, he had it cumming.

@EGiNcontroL

Fontong United States. November 22 2008 04:17. Posts 6453

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LOL I thought this was going to be another complaining blog or something. omg So many great lines in this...

I thought about ugly people and things that would normally make a flagpole flaccid.

Wow hilarious read 5/5 for sure.

[ＳＥＣＲＥＴＦＯＮＴ] "Dragoon bunker"

heyoka Administrator November 22 2008 04:22.

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I also shed a tear

@RealHeyoka

KreaGata United States. November 22 2008 04:22. Posts 1702

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I was expecting a compelling tale of perseverance and tenacity ultimately rewarded with victory. I was not let down.

the truest opportunists thrive in the maelstrom

Makhno Sweden. November 22 2008 04:27. Posts 584

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Sounds like a real battle took place, though I was expecting someone to reveal your condition to your friends the whole story through. I'm actually glad you got away with it, it would've been too painful to read about the reactions from your friends and those sisters, haha.

Anyways 5/5, gj man.

"If I think, everything is lost"

iNcontroL

USA. November 22 2008 04:29. Posts 28389

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I actually told him quite frankly "I jerked off in your shower. Here is why:.." I then told him of my battle. He laughed.

@EGiNcontroL

bioboyAT Austria. November 22 2008 04:30. Posts 1354

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good job inc

Milchmann | DeadVessel: Milchmann pwns. I fail.

QuanticHawk United States. November 22 2008 04:31. Posts 21194

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hahahhahh. Was there a walk of shame out of that bathroom?

You sure your friends didn't play a prank on you and spike a drink with a few viagra tabs?

PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA

o3.power91 Bahrain. November 22 2008 04:31. Posts 5254

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On November 22 2008 04:22 heyoka wrote:
I also shed a tear

Are you for rela?

ZeeTemplar United States. November 22 2008 04:32. Posts 557

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i am sorry you had endured such a trial D:

glad you flogged that monstrosity into submission

Jangbi storms!!!

Makhno Sweden. November 22 2008 04:33. Posts 584

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On November 22 2008 04:29 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
I actually told him quite frankly "I jerked off in your shower. Here is why:.." I then told him of my battle. He laughed.

Sounds like a good friend, some of my pals would never have passed on something like that, it would've been lame jokes for the next month or so until I flipped and killed them.

"If I think, everything is lost"

iNcontroL

USA. November 22 2008 04:36. Posts 28389

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On November 22 2008 04:31 Hawk wrote:
hahahhahh. Was there a walk of shame out of that bathroom?

You sure your friends didn't play a prank on you and spike a drink with a few viagra tabs?

Shame? Are you kidding me? I nearly gave everyone a hug. I was so fucking happy it was over.

@EGiNcontroL

iNCuBuS_ United States. November 22 2008 04:40. Posts 897

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I was expecting a porno-esque ending involving one of his sisters (assuming they are of age and close in age to you).
Awesome read nonetheless!

iNcontroL

USA. November 22 2008 04:43. Posts 28389

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Sometimes you don't get what you expect. I wanted a simple case of morningwood and I got the termiboner. You wanted a porno session between me and my friend's two hot sisters.. common man.

@EGiNcontroL

clazziquai November 22 2008 04:48. Posts 6685

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On November 22 2008 04:31 o3.power91 wrote:

Show nested quote +

#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~

ulszz Jamaica. November 22 2008 04:48. Posts 1787

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hahahhahaha wtf hahha great

the last line was the best possible last line ever lol

everliving, everfaithful, eversure

gm.tOSS Germany. November 22 2008 04:50. Posts 889

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haha nice read

4/5

HuK HuK HuK | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | There is death in the hane.

RaGe Belgium. November 22 2008 04:55. Posts 9613

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Dunno if you know this, but morning wood is usually not created by erotic dreams, but is just your body testing your primary functions while you're a sleep. I think you average around 20 boners a night.

But what you described.. it must be something else.. something from outside of this world. This truly is the most raging boner I have ever heard of, and I don't doubt someone slipped you a pill of some shit, maybe even the night before.

sometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle

SirGlinG Sweden. November 22 2008 04:55. Posts 715

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Wow GJ! This gave me a hard on! oh snap...

Not my chair. Not my problem. That's what I say

Kennigit

Canada. November 22 2008 05:01. Posts 19164

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5/5 for blog title alone.

Please don't PM me if i closed your thread.

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