 jodogohoo Canada. September 18 2009 13:23. Posts 1270 | Profile Blog |
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
39. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
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 SanguineToss Canada. September 18 2009 13:26. Posts 479 | Profile Blog | |
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 il0seonpurpose Korea (South). September 18 2009 13:39. Posts 5213 | Profile Blog |
| HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA these are good |
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 Humbug United States. September 18 2009 13:42. Posts 102 | Profile |
| Wow these are quite punny :< |
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 Avidkeystamper United States. September 18 2009 13:46. Posts 6666 | Profile Blog |
| My friend could take lessons from this. Entire courses, even. |
| щ(ﾟДﾟщ) Life keeps getting tougher and easier. Crazy Complex and Confusing.
I like to eat my poptarts with the frosting side face down so my tongue gets the full force of a big-bang of flavor. |
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| Monokeros United States. September 18 2009 13:52. Posts 1233 | Profile Blog |
| My face is permanently stuck to my palm. |
| | "He could be wearing skates and I could still rest my beer on the top of his head while on the couch." - Manifesto7's reply to my now closed [D]Chill is short, thread. |
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 skronch United States. September 18 2009 14:01. Posts 889 | Profile |
| i loled. alot. seriously. hahahahahha |
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| Jyvblamo Canada. September 18 2009 14:08. Posts 4760 | Profile Blog |
I don't know many of these.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read. |
| | I posted in BuGzlToOnl\'s thread and all I got was this stupid t-shirt... |
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 Lemonwalrus United States. September 18 2009 14:10. Posts 3044 | Profile Blog | |
| | "Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand." -K.V. |
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| jodogohoo Canada. September 18 2009 14:33. Posts 1270 | Profile Blog |
| when i read these, i almost smashed my face against a wall |
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 BanZu United States. September 18 2009 14:45. Posts 2679 | Profile Blog |
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
Only one I don't get... yet... |
| | Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel." |
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 JeeJee Canada. September 18 2009 14:55. Posts 2528 | Profile Blog |
Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.
A pessimist's blood type is b-negative.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
Alarms: What an octopus is.
Crick:: The sound that a Japanese camera makes.
Pasteurize: Too far to see.
Toboggan: Why we go to an auction. |
| (\o/) Life is good ^^
/_\ aka feelShinbi (requesting a name change since 27/05/09 ☺) |
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 Carnivorous Sheep China. September 18 2009 15:03. Posts 2959 | Profile Blog | |
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| BloodyC0bbler Canada. September 18 2009 15:32. Posts 2811 | Profile Blog | |
| | Rhaegar fought nobly. Rhaegar fought valiantly. Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaeger died. --Ser Jorah Mormont TL MAFIA FORUM http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31 go go ! |
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 theobsessed1 United States. September 18 2009 16:08. Posts 452 | Profile Blog | |
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| jodogohoo Canada. September 19 2009 07:50. Posts 1270 | Profile Blog |
write these downs and tell them to co-workers and classmates
???
sex |
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Chuiu September 18 2009 13:55. Posts 2630
