 Ryan307 :) United States. November 05 2009 17:17. Posts 1132 | Profile Blog |
So I'm taking psychology at my local community college, and I'm writing a paper on the genetic predisposition for addiction... The only problem is I've never written an APA style paper before (I dropped out of high school, and pretty much fucked my entire life up and am trying to get back on my feet)
I was wondering if anyone wanted to help me with this? I'm not asking for anyone to write my paper for me, rather just provide some constructive critisim and some ideas for my paper.
If you want to pm me your msn or aim or something that would be greatly appreciated 
Here's my introductory paragraph to give you an idea of what I'm working with.
Is there a genetic predisposition for addiction? In order to answer this question we must first look at four key factors in addicts. First we will operationally define addiction and give a brief history of addiction throughout time. After which we will take a look at addiction in families; both blood related families and adopted families. Next we will analyze a study of twin addicts; both monozygotic and dizygotic. Continuing on, we will take a look at addiction patterns in animals. Finally we will take a closer look at the biological aspect of addiction, by analyzing recent findings in DNA studies of addicts. After careful assessment of each of these topics, we will provide a conclusion to our question. Often time’s addiction is looked at as a moral deficiency, but if we can determine that there is a genetic predisposition for chemical dependency we can lay this myth to rest.
(Did I word this correctly? Could it be written / worded better?)
Alright teamliquid! You've never failed me before and I need you now more then ever, give me some feedback please! Thanks guys
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 DoctorHelvetica United States. November 05 2009 17:21. Posts 3616 | Profile Blog |
It's best not to start off an introductory paragraph with a question.
Is this your abstract or the first paragraph of the research paper itself? If it's an abstract than get rid of the question and metaphor, just be as to the point as possible. There is no reason to be flowery in an scientific report. Present your research and conclusions as cleanly and concisely as possible. Last edit: 2009-11-05 17:22:24 |
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| Ryan307 :) United States. November 05 2009 17:21. Posts 1132 | Profile Blog |
The first paragraph of the research paper itself lol
Any input is greatly appreciated ! |
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| DoctorHelvetica United States. November 05 2009 17:23. Posts 3616 | Profile Blog |
It sounds more like an abstract. The abstract describes what the research is about and the general order of the paper itself. The paper should delve right into part 1. Have the papers first section head be something like:
Operational Definitions and History of Addiction
text text text text
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 Disregard China. November 05 2009 17:29. Posts 2584 | Profile Blog |
| I think its too straight forward/narrow and I would use a statement instead of a question for my opening sentence. Well I am only a 1st year freshman in uni taking 101. :/ |
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| Ryan307 :) United States. November 05 2009 17:29. Posts 1132 | Profile Blog |
Ah alright, well in my syllabus it says it wants my thesis statement in the form of a question in my introductory paragraph
so the abstract is something completely different then the actualy paper itself? |
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| DoctorHelvetica United States. November 05 2009 17:33. Posts 3616 | Profile Blog |
On November 05 2009 17:29 Ryan307 wrote:Ah alright, well in my syllabus it says it wants my thesis statement in the form of a question in my introductory paragraph so the abstract is something completely different then the actualy paper itself?
Usually in psychology research papers the introduction is separate from the paper. It's called an abstract and it's a short description about the research and the process by which it was done. It's so psychologists can read the abstract research journals to decide whether or not they want to read the article itself.
Regardless of convention, always follow the syllabus. Sometimes Professors ask for things that aren't standard in APA and you should always write to what the professor wants.
It's odd that there was no discussion of an abstract though. |
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| DoctorHelvetica United States. November 05 2009 17:34. Posts 3616 | Profile Blog |
On November 05 2009 17:29 Disregard wrote:
I think its too straight forward/narrow and I would use a statement instead of a question for my opening sentence. Well I am only a 1st year freshman in uni taking 101. :/
You want to be as narrow and straight-forward as possible in any research paper. Being flowery and creative with your language is just bullshit that distracts from statistics and analysis. |
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| Ryan307 :) United States. November 05 2009 17:40. Posts 1132 | Profile Blog |
Hmm, well I'm having trouble with a topic sentance for part of my paper regarding an adoptive study
pretty much the study states that children whose biological parents are addicts have three to five times more of a chance of bieng an addict then children who don't
hmmm! |
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| DoctorHelvetica United States. November 05 2009 17:44. Posts 3616 | Profile Blog |
According to studies x and y, children whose biological parents are addicts are three to five times more likely to become addicts themselves than children without addict parents.
Simple, to the point. |
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| Ryan307 :) United States. November 05 2009 17:45. Posts 1132 | Profile Blog |
| I like how you think lol, I think I'm overcomplicating this whole thing |
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 PH United States. November 05 2009 17:45. Posts 3415 | Profile Blog |
I've never written a paper in APA format...that's the standard for academic research papers, no?
Good luck with that...it looks like a hassle. :\ |
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| Ryan307 :) United States. November 05 2009 17:49. Posts 1132 | Profile Blog |
haha yeah it's a total bitch... alright so the next part of my paper is on a twin study
Recent studies done on twins separated at birth indicate a strong correlation between genetics and the development of addiction. There are two kinds of twins, monozygotic and dizygotic. Monozygotic twins are twins who developed from the same egg, also known as identical twins; they share identical sets of DNA. Dizygotic twins are twins who developed from different eggs in the womb, also known as fraternal twins; they share roughly 50% of their genes (Zickler, 2005). In study of twins it was found that if a monozygotic twin was an addict, there was a 50% chance the other twin was also an addict. In contrast it was found that if a dizygotic twin was an addict, the other twin only had a 25% chance of also being an addict (Henderson, 2000). From these statistics we can conclude the genetics of an addict play an important role in the development of addiction.
I feel like I'm repeating myself in my topic sentance and my conclusion sentance of this paragraph... Is this normal? (sorry i'm asking so many questions, I've never done this before and I have an overwhelming fear of failure, so I want to make sure I get this right lol ^_^)
Thanks again for your help guys! |
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 Starparty Sweden. November 05 2009 19:51. Posts 1383 | Profile |
| Also, general tips on making papers like this is to narrow down the subject as much as you possible can and do a thorough work on that particular subject as you can. If you dont narrow it down enough you will soon realize that youve taken on a much bigger project than you might be able to handle alone and you will have to rephrase your questions as you go. It will end up being a whole lot of more work and it will be psychologically a pain in the ass as you risk loosing motivation. |
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 So no fek United States. November 05 2009 22:22. Posts 1618 | Profile Blog |
I guess you're lucky in a way. I have similar circumstances to you (dropped out of high school, which fucked my life up, taking Psy101 with other classes, to get back up on my feet), and my major assignment I have to do is a 7-10 page summary/evaluation on A Beautiful Mind. It doesn't have to be APA, which will make it a lot easier, however, I don't get the benefit of learning the format yet.  |
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 Chromyne Canada. November 05 2009 23:28. Posts 436 | Profile |
I'm so glad I don't have to write in APA anymore! IEEE ftw!
It's okay if you're concluding sentence is similar to the information found in the abstract. It is sort of a summary of the paper, so that's to be expected. As long as it doesn't look like you just copy and pasted from one part of your paper to another, it should be fine. |
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| Disregard China. November 06 2009 04:02. Posts 2584 | Profile Blog |
On November 05 2009 17:34 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
Show nested quote +On November 05 2009 17:29 Disregard wrote:
I think its too straight forward/narrow and I would use a statement instead of a question for my opening sentence. Well I am only a 1st year freshman in uni taking 101. :/
You want to be as narrow and straight-forward as possible in any research paper. Being flowery and creative with your language is just bullshit that distracts from statistics and analysis.
Writing a paper on Cultural Assimilation/Identity and its due in a couple of hours, I always struggle with Intros and Conclusions in these types of essays  I wish all my essays were research papers or anything fact-based that doesnt involve my own opinions.
edit: I spend so much time thinking of a perfect thesis.
Last edit: 2009-11-06 04:03:32 |
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