It's kind of a hard decision to make, to cut it all off and just leave. But I've spent thinking about it over the night and honestly I can't think of what would ever motivate me to do anything within this sphere of "eSports" anymore.
I'll be honest. I never expected people to agree with my opinion on what makes something an eSport or not. I've been quite honest about how my opinion is elitist, and I fully expected disagreement over the definition. Of course, looking at some of the reactions did make me realize that yes, I should have been more careful about how I phrased it. I obviously didn't mean to "shit" on other games as a competitive game, but I could see why people would see it in that way.
But does all this mean that any of you have the right to call me retarded? an idiot? I couldn't care less about what you considered my opinion. What I care about is the comments that suddenly popped up. Apparently, suddenly, I'm a terrible translator. Everything is a fluke. There are suddenly no place in eSports for people like me.
You know, let me tell you this. I never wanted to do live translation to begin with. Deciding to help out at MLG Columbus took a pretty big decision because live translation was absolutely the last thing I wanted to do. And yet MLG looked like they needed someone so I jumped on board. I asked Lee if I absolutely had to and he said it was expected for me to. So I did it.
Call me "nervous" whenever I go on stage but it's more exhaustion than anything else considering I'm terrible at taking care of myself at MLGs because I always run around so much and I have trouble putting myself before other things that need to be done. One of the reasons why I decided not to go to Providence (and apparently, it was the correct decision) was because I looked at myself in a mirror during the event at Orlando and I looked pretty much dead. I look nervous? No, I'm fucking exhausted.
It's kind of shitty when people start criticizing you over shit like this. "OH HES SUCH A BAD TRANSLATOR HE IS ALWAYS SO NERVOUS". Or someone to say "My KR friend says X" or "X is better". Right.
And then comes the criticism of my written work. Suddenly, everything I do is shit. Everything I've done is absolute shit. And people start agreeing with it because you disagree with my opinion?
You want to know why I bothered doing anything for the community? Because I always thought the community deserved more. I never wanted to be popular nor did I want attention (although I guess I did enjoy it, but it's not something I ever wanted). It's the last thing I wanted. All I wanted to do was bring you guys good content, and I always just wanted the means to do so. I wanted to do a lot of nice things for the community because I was capable of doing it and seeing you guys appreciate the content was always good enough. Why else would I take on any of these extra works, or brainstorm a ton of new things I could do for the community? Sadly, none of these will come to fruition anymore but I guess it doesn't even matter.
I've never been so absolutely demotivated in my life. It's kind of hilarious how people can be. All over a single opinion. A single opinion that no one even bothered reading because everyone started putting words in my mouth and then attacking me personally. And then giving me lectures.
I'm done. I guess it's good riddance for all of you.
dbosworld United States. October 30 2011 01:01. Posts 317
i don't know you that well, and only really know you from mlg translations and the tidbits on twitter about latest korean news
i've got nothing against you as an individual, but posts like these are actually disgusting
you care too much what the community thinks, and that's something you shouldn't do. the internet is full of trolls and haters everywhere, and once you're in any sort of spotlight it should be expected to come your way
this just screams emo/angsty/nerdrage with every single line o_o
you're better than that, man up
IMMvp #1 :)
plated.rawr Norway. October 30 2011 01:06. Posts 1391
This is a very sad day, and I really hope it isn't so.
Best of luck to ya in your future endeavors, and I hope that you can find the motivation again to make the world a better place in some form or fashion. Follow your heart, think critically of all things, and don't let people's undeserved hate bring you down.
I think you are a great translator and a great figure in the community. Whenever you say something controversial, people will flame you. People are haters. Just ignore them. I hope you change your mind. The silent majority of the community appreciates all your hard work and wants you to stay.
Last edit: 2011-10-30 01:09:44
tec27 United States. October 30 2011 01:09. Posts 2559
I kinda laughed, you moan about people shitting on you then post this basically saying they have won, kinda seems like fishing for compliments/feeding trolls not sure which either way its not in your best interests, gl with w/e u do in the future.
OmniEulogy Canada. October 30 2011 01:11. Posts 2190
<Aesop> then you can just divide by esports | <boesdropSAD> i want to fuck to black metal | <Hurricane|> I like 9 year old
<TorteDeBanned> I would love to do it with 2-3 guys here~ | <Coagulation> you sound like your unhappy i nailed your GF
Don't leave. They're just trolls, man. And it's not the majority. Getting a bit of fame like you have, there are bound to be haters. That's all it is though. The majority of us have huge respect for you. I appreciate so much what you've done. Forget them, man.
"I'm gonna keep making drones cause I'm a baller, and ballers make drones." -Snute
Milkis if it makes you feel any better, I'm one of those people that just saw you as "some guy" translating Korean to English, besides your excellent skills in Korean and English I never really noticed anything special about your behavior etc.