[The Ghetto Cook] XIV: Spicy Fried Noodles

Introduction

Hello all, welcome to the 14th installment of TGC! I think it's good to eat spicy things during the cold winter months. The heat in your mouth distracts you from the cold outside. With this in mind, I bring you a simple and fast spicy Asian dish: fried noodles.

Fried noodles is a very simple dish with many variations and cooking methods. Some fried noodle dishes call for using a mixture of corn starch and water to create a thick sauce. For this particular dish, my vision is to create a light, dry fried noodle dish that concentrates all the flavors and aromas in the ingredients.

Ingredients

Which cuisine reigns supreme? THE HEAT WILL BE ON! (kudos if you get the reference ;0)

Listed ingredients are approximations for a single serving. Multiply as needed.

5-6 oz noodles*
1/2 tbsp Garlic chili sauce
1/2 tbsp Spicy black bean sauce
Garlic**
Cooking oil
Cooking wine
Salt
Pepper
Coriander***
2 oz ground pork
half an Onion, cut into strips
2 oz bamboo shoots****

Optional*****:
2 oz bean sprouts
green onions, cut into strips

*This wouldn't be a TGC installment without impromptu substitutions. I use angel hair pasta. Italian pastas are fantastic in general because they are cheap, easy to find, and very sturdy (as in they do not tear/congeal easily). If you look in your nearest major Asian goods store you should be able to find a wide variety of noodles suitable for stir-frying. These noodles often come raw and have a nice bouncy texture. If in a pinch I think you can even use instant ramen noodles. I don't recommend you use actual ramen noodles, however.

**I didn't have any, but they are nice. Garlic powder is an acceptable ghetto substitute.

***Coriander is nice but it can be annoying to get the little seeds stuck in your teeth. If this is a problem for you, pour a teaspoon of coriander seeds onto your cutting board. Place the flat of your knife over the seeds and apply pressure with your hand to crack open the seeds. Soak in 1/4 cup of warm water at least half an hour beforehand. Strain the seeds out and use the coriander flavored water when necessary.

****Kind of optional, but they definitely fit my vision for this dish. Bamboo shoots are great vegetables because they maintain their crispy texture even after being cooked for a long time. You can try substituting artichoke hearts, asparagus, or just adding more onion.

*****These are ingredients I did not use, but feel free to experiment. Add them if you want your fried noodles to have a bit of light, refreshing counterbalance to the heavy spiciness.

Make sure your bamboo shoots are from the Porn Coconut Company. I'm certain this is somehow important to the outcome of your dish.

Cooking

About an hour before cooking, slightly marinate your ground meat by flavoring it with salt, pepper, and a dash of cooking wine. Refrigerate.

Start by preparing your pasta. Fill a large pot with water, add a dash of salt, and bring to a boil. Cook your pasta/noodles as per the directions on the box for al dente, minus one minute (cook for 1 minute less than instructed on the box). Drain the pasta, then dump it into a container. Toss the pasta with about a tablespoon of cooking oil to prevent it from sticking. Set aside.

Pouring oil all over your mother's body. I mean your mother's boobs. I mean the noodles. THE NOODLES.

While the pasta water is boiling, slice your half-onion and drain your bamboo shoots. On the off chance you're using fresh bamboo shoots (yah right), slice them into slivers.

It's not the onions. I'm teary eyed because Thorzain isn't winning the IGN proleague SXSW votes. *sniff*

Now it's time to really start cooking. I recommend using either a large non-stick pot or a wok. Crank the heat up to medium-high and add about a tablespoon of cooking oil. When the oil starts to smoke, add garlic (if you have it), onions, and ground meat. The key is to lightly brown your onions and ground meat. Do this by refraining from stirring too often. Stir the mixture a bit, let it sit for 30 seconds, then stir it again. This will let the pan-side of the onions and meat become slightly burnt (brown), resulting in a ton of flavor.

If you think about it, an active kitchen is a pretty good place to pass gas. All the smells kind of just mix together and nobody will notice a thing.

Once this mixture has been cooking for a few minutes, add your chili garlic sauce and spicy black bean sauce. Adjust to your taste. If you like very spicy, add more sauce, but also remember that the sauces add salt as much as they add spiciness. With the amount of sauce I added (1/2 tablespoon of each) I only needed a very small pinch of additional salt. Cook the mixture for about a minute while cranking the heat up to high.

Add your noodles and bamboo shoots at the same time. Stir vigorously. I recommend using chopsticks for this stage since it can be hard to toss noodles about with a spatula. Salt and pepper to taste at this stage.

The most important thing about frying the noodles is that they shouldn't stick to the bottom of your wok. If they do, then either the heat isn't high enough, you're using the wrong type of pot/pan, or you aren't stirring often enough.

The noodles should also be very dry. Once you've cooked the noodles for about a minute, it should be safe to add the coriander water. Continue to cook until all the liquid has dried. If you are also using green onions and/or bean sprouts, add them two minutes before the dish is done. Plate and serve hot.

Result

This is like, what would happen to the flying spaghetti monster if he ever gets caught in China

4.5 / 5 I'm fairly satisfied with this dish, although I do feel that something is missing. I'm not quite sure what, but I'll be sure to re-explore this dish in the future. It's quite good in its current form. The dryness of this dish allows the individual ingredients to stand out and speak for themselves, when otherwise the might be buried under a heavy sauce.

EDIT: I figured out what was missing! Five-spiced bean curd, sliced into strips. They are a type of aromatic soy product with a texture similar to extra-firm tofu. Not exactly the most obvious of ingredients to be "missing", but they should complete the flavor of this dish. Here is a photo (courtesy of Google) of what it looks like:

They can be found in your nearest Asian supermarket and come in blocks packaged with laminated plastic. These should be added to your dish at the same time as the bamboo shoots. Be careful while stirring though, since bean curd can easily fragment if handled roughly.

Conclusion

So that's the fourteenth installment of TGC. It's a quick dish, not epic on any scale, unlike the fourteenth iteration of Louis king of France. If anyone knows what I'm missing from this dish, please tell me. Otherwise, questions and comments are welcome. Please check out the archives if noodles aren't your thing.

Until next time, don't get hit by a car skidding uncontrollably on black ice.

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Last edit: 2012-01-13 03:42:16

Logic is Overrated

iSometric China. January 12 2012 14:20. Posts 1956

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ALLEZ CUISINE!

"Trust no one unless you have eaten much salt with him."- Cicero~~~~~ isometric @ US East on Warcraft 3!

Dubzex United States. January 12 2012 14:23. Posts 3388

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Maybe it is missing some green veggies. Steamed broccoli added into this would be pretty godlike and add some much needed color. Otherwise looks good.

Newbistic China. January 12 2012 14:30. Posts 2911

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On January 12 2012 14:23 Dubzex wrote:
Maybe it is missing some green veggies. Steamed broccoli added into this would be pretty godlike and add some much needed color. Otherwise looks good.

Nope, it's more of a spice, probably garlic. Green veggies would have diluted the power of the dish's flavor. Broccoli is better for something like yakisoba or some other fried noodle dish with a sweeter sauce.

Logic is Overrated

Endymion United States. January 12 2012 14:33. Posts 2477

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i'm always scared to go into asian food markets to buy ingredients because they can smell fear from a mile away.. I wish safeway would become more asian.

i plan to make this recipe later on in the week though, it looks great, thanks for the post.

It left us speechless, quite speechless I tell you, and we have not stopped talking of it since.

mmp United States. January 12 2012 14:37. Posts 2126

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It's missing color. Try green onions.

I (λ (foo) (and (<3 foo) ( T_T foo) (RAGE foo) )) Starcraft

Chill Canada. January 12 2012 14:37. Posts 25255

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I love this series of blogs

Hope you never stop

You said it's missing something but I looked at the ingredient list and it looked fine.

Last edit: 2012-01-12 14:38:45

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=275302&currentpage=225#4490

Probulous Australia. January 12 2012 14:52. Posts 3784

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This looks pretty damn awesome! Where is the fresh chilli? Maybe they aren't ghetto enough.

I like my spicy noodles REALLY spicy so I would definitely add some fresh chilli. Will give this a go when winter comes round (enjoying the glorious Australian summer right now)

"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut

eu.exodus South Africa. January 12 2012 15:12. Posts 942

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now Im hungry thanks!

6 poll is a good skill toi have

aRyuujin United States. January 12 2012 17:40. Posts 3146

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was that an iron chef reference? food looks tasty :D

gonna be in atlanta for NAQT's hsnct: send me a pm if you're there :D EGTL 12/4/12

Bluelightz Indonesia. January 12 2012 19:07. Posts 2327

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The reference is from Iron Chef :D I think...

And THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS T.T

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Radiation Is Good Because Nuclear bombs go BOOM | I love TL Mafia! ♥ http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31 ♥| Mvp is most boss

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