It's been a while since I last blogged on Teamliquid. Actually, it's been exactly a year since my last blog. It's funny how much can change within a year's time; how life throws you around like a small ship in this gigantic fucking ocean you find yourself in. I've changed a lot this past year. I'm not sure if it's for the better, but I'd like to think that it is. Who knows, maybe it's not and it's something that I tell myself in order to feel adequately satisfied with life.
Here goes nothing.
I had a good living situation at the time of the last blog - I was living with a Teamliquid member, and a few other friends. They all ended up moving out at the same time, in which I was panicky about where I was going to be living. I bounced around friends' apartments until I finally moved back in with my brother and sister-in-law. I've been living with them since then, and I'm about to move out again with some old university friends. Living with my brother and sister-in-law has probably influenced the most change in my life. My brother and his wife have been married for 7 years now, and have two kids (4 and 1.5 years) with another on the way. I'm not sure if I want kids anymore, after being here. I love being an uncle, but it's a whole different story when it comes to parenting. I can't fathom having kids within the next 5 years - I haven't even had a girlfriend in the last 5 years for fuck sake. The thing that terrifies me the most out of this whole idea of parenting is the idea that I'll end up like my father. My father is a terrible parent, and left my family when I was 5. I see a bit of my dad when I experience my brother parenting, and it scares the living shit out of me. I've resented my dad my entire life. He's never cared like he has about my brothers; albeit it doesnt help that they did something with their lives he was "proud of." I know, I know - father issues. It's a complicated piece of work and I didn't intend to bring it here. My original point being - I'm not sure if I want kids anymore - and I don't know if I ever will.
The way I look and present myself has changed drastically, and definitely for the better. I'm more confident than I ever have been, I get more positive female reactions (which is obviously the only point in living right?) and I just feel better about myself in general. I spent the greater part of the last year in a sick depression, trapped into my own isolated world, concealing myself from everyone else. There are many reasons for this, but I will not get into it. Nonetheless - the biggest aspect of this change is how I physically present myself. Let's take a look:
I also took out my septum ring - which apparently was a BIG thing in me looking better for a lot of people. I might put it back in, but get a smaller ring/bigger gauge next time around. Here's a comparison for you:
What brought this change? You sure you want to know? It was to pick up women. That sounds so absurdly cliche and shallow and pathetic, but it's true. Something happened to me at some point last year and I kind of snapped into reality. I'm not a bad looking dude, but I was so lazy when it came to my appearance. I'm 23 years old, I'm not in a band anymore nor high school so there's no reason to be wearing cut off girl pants and band shirts that are too tight for me.
However, after my semi-breakdown, I began to legitimately get interested in fashion and style, and it's quickly become one of my favorite hobbies. Funny how one thing leads to another.
The next thing that's going to be changing is my actual physical self. I'm starting to do a training regiment with the guys I'm going to be moving in with called Insanity. It's by the same guys who do p90x, and it's the hardest workouts I've ever done. It's a pure cardio workout for around 45 minutes. I've never thrown up while working out before, and I spewed during the fitness test. Nonetheless, I'm already seeing good results, and I'll post a blog about it when the 60-90 days are complete with pics, etc.
Tosin Abasi is not your usual metal guitarist.
2011 was a great year for music, at least with my taste. Here are my top 10 albums from last year:
What's that? Korean music that isn't kpop? Impossible. 폐허(Pyha) is a South Korean 1 man ambient black metal band that completely blew my mind with his initial album of 흉가, reputed to have been recorded when he was in middle school. His vocals in the ending track, 나그네의 세월, still destroy me today. Seriously - listen to this(you might need to turn down your volume). While I still prefer his debut album, this album is still great. The guitars are a lot more lo-fi and still make me feel depressed. Here is my favorite track from this album. The bluesy guitar solo mixed ever so lightly in with the harsh minor chords is so genius. Enjoy:
Another one-man venture. Sun Devoured Earth is a depressive shoegazy/black metal project from Latvia. He's released a ton of albums, demos, etc - and you can download them all for free or pay-as-you-want here.I Wish I Would Never Wake Up makes me feel exactly that, and at the time I heard this album 10 months after it was released I could say I felt this way. Just listen, you'll understand.
It's been a while since I've been impressed by a screamo album, and holy shit was I impressed by this release by William Bonney. They're 2 of the members of the now defunct Merchant Ships, and you can still hear some guitar influences. If you haven't noticed by now, I was incredibly depressed when listening to music this year, and this album didn't help at all. This album was my anthem, as I sat in my room in the dark after I got home from work and drank myself to sleep: I hate everyone that I know, then I wonder "where did my friends go?" Fucking poor me, always suffering. Everyone will let me down, one way or the other. One day I'll be dead and gone, maybe then we'll get along? I'm not holding breath, but what do I know? I know nothing.
Something a little different from the music I generally broadcast to the public. As Hell Retreats is a Christian metalcore band from Nashville, Tennessee. These guys are djenty as fuck, play great breakdowns, and their vocalist is a little different than your normal metalcore vocalist. A little background on me so you'll understand why I love this album so much - I used to be a pretty big Christian. I was in a Christian rock band(you can check that out in my earlier blogs), went to a Christian University, etc etc. As of the last few years, I became an Atheist; and the lyrics from this album speak to me personally on a different level than most, such as the album I just listed as number 6. It goes through the journey of a young man turning his back on god after his mother has died, and all the feelings that follow. Here are some of my favorite lyrics accompanied with songs:
I absolutely love the breakdown in this song. NOTHINGGGG, NOTHINGGGG, NOTHINGGG.
Coming to terms as an insatiable man After searching for all these years. It’s time to admit of my ignorance; I will not find her comfort here. I’ve wasted my youth searching for lies. No, nothing can save me now.
This song is great. After the young man attempts to take his life, his old pastor, father, and friend speak to him as he's unconscious on the hospital bed. I love the emotion they put in at the breakdown with the "THIS IS THE CONSEQUENCE FOR MY NEGLIGENCE". The gutturals along with the triplets bring this great feeling of remorse for me.
“You coward! You try to rid yourself from this life! With all the bitterness you had for this world, I know you had a heart of gold like you use to have…”
“What have I done? I never showed care for my son. This is the consequence for my negligence.”
Terrific atmospheric black metal straight from my homestate of California. I absolutely loved their 7" demo that they released at the end of 2010, and their full album Roads to Judah completely lived up to the hype. There's really nothing else to say, this album was completely solid. Here are my two favorite tracks from the album. The first track, Violet, gives a great example of the atmosphere that is implied within the genre title. The ending track of the album, Tunnel of Trees, has probably one of the best endings to an album I've heard in a long time - great, big, open chords into a great piano playoff. Spectacular.
Hollllyyyyyy shit this album is so good. This is hands down my favorite hardcore album that I've heard in a long time. This album will knock you're fucking teeth out. Harm's Way is a straight edge hardcore band from Chicago that will scare the shit out of you at every show they play. I'm not kidding, look at their lead singer:
You can feel the hatred in every single song of this album. This guy's vocals are phenomenal, the lyrics are hateful as shit(People are of no value), and the riffs are so simple yet so fucking GOOD. I'll stop pawning over this album, and let you listen yourself. Here is the intro track, and then following is my favorite track of the album:
I know you're SOOOOOOO surprised to see kpop on my list. However, it's not what you think. This album is pop perfection. The nuances that the composers gave each song are incredible; from the subtle electric organ in 길 잃은 강아지, to the church choir in the ending of 비밀. There isn't a song that I don't absolutely love on this album. The single, You and I, is still catchy enough that the mainstream will still fall in love with it. The ballads play perfectly to IU's voice, I never tire of it. Honestly, this album would have been #1 if I didn't love the next band more than myself. This album almost makes me want to get back into producing/making music. Here's the single, You and I, and the playlist to the entire album because you can't just listen to one song:
i could do whatever i wanted if i wanted, by snowing
I am so goddamn depressed that these guys broke up. snowing is definitely in my top 5 favorite bands of all time, and I thought they wouldn't be like every midwest emo/screamo band and break up every 2 years and form another band similar...but I was wrong. If you've read my blogs in the past, you'll remember I put these guys' last full length Fuck Your Emotional Bullshit as #3 in my top 10 list of 2009. John Galm's lyrics are probably the most honest, emo, whiney bullshit lyrics I've read in a long time and I absolutely love it. They take the twinkly riffs of Kinsella bands(cap'n jazz, Owls) and pair it with harsh yells and imperfect singing - and it's absolutely brilliant. Their older works were more yelling than singing: + Show Spoiler [Old snowing] +
I've been wasting this fucking year on the idea of getting up and moving on, but I wait around, just emptying bottles in the basement of the slovak center on my side of town.
it's a major fucking bummer.
Because I feel nothing like my father. He's been sleeping underground. Don't wait around. There's nothing there at all. There's nothing but the end. You're not awake (Tell me, tell me the things that I'll never have). So I'll just stay home (I'm talking to you). You're not awake (Tell me, tell me the things that I'll never have). You're fucking gone.
while their last album is more singing. I could go on and on about this album, but I'll just let you listen instead.
Relations with no complications. Well, they fall out. You’ll want the one that hurt again. Then I’ll have a new one but I’ll want the old one, then I’ll go out. I’ll drink some drinks and get drunk. That won’t leave me very much at all. That will leave me next to nothing. The ride home is straight through the window, is straight… fuck. The road’s closed. The easy way is out again. Then I’ll want the old one, but she’ll have a new one.Then I’m done.And I know I’m alone again, because I’m too fucking proud, but I wanted to say I’m sorry.
Galneryus - Whisper in the Red Sky (Japanese power metal. Bw fans should recognize this . For you Kennigit. ) + Show Spoiler [youtube] +
I've been working at Target for the past 8 months now, and I have to say that it's probably my favorite job that I've had thus far. For those of you that you do not know, Target is a gigantic discount retail company - akin to Walmart. I work the salesfloor, the grocery, and electronics, for those familiar. It's my favorite job for one reason - I love every single person that I work with. The team is a really, really tight knit group of people who - as the corporate people put it during their visit when we finished our remodel - act more like a family than a group of workers. A great example of this is the day one of our best team members, Kao, left us for the Navy. He had worked there for two years and was by far one of the best workers we've had. During our evening "huddle"(the time we group up before the last shift starts of the day) on his last day, we spent a good half-hour talking about how Kao had affected all of our lives, and how much we were going to miss him. There was a lot of crying, and probably the best day of working at Target I've ever had. I don't see myself working her for longer than a few years, but I'll miss it when I'm gone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34z5dCmC4M le blanc imbécile se tord sur sa chaise, ala mendicité pour les cheeseburgers
I got carpal tunnel after the last MLG I went to, and it sucked. I'm nearly fully healed now, albeit I can only play Starcraft for a good 4-5 hours straight before it starts to really hurt, compared to the 8-9 before. Note to all of you 1a2a3a kiddos out there - wrist exercises, proper posture, and exercise. I cannot reiterate this enough.
I guess that's it for now. If you're going to MLG Anaheim in June - come hangout with me. I'll be going this year.
"No. Fuck no. If my ‘no’ was a pokemon, it’d be a legendary, made entirely out of hyper beams and hate, annihilating entire regions at a time, leaving only blasted craters in its wake, all shaped like the word NO." -Lamora, Game of Champions
SnipedSoul Canada. April 14 2012 07:15. Posts 1691
Go get some chicks yo. Fashion-wise I'm kind of in a similar situation right now, where I'm thinking that black band tees aren't really the thing to go for anymore, especially now that I hang out in hip hop/electro clubs from time to time. I'm always going to listen to metal but it's time for the style to go, so when I get money I'll buy some cool shirts (like actual shirts, not tees) and some good pants. Shoe wise I think my sneakers will have to suffice for the moment, hah. Anyways, gotta sleep, Much love.
@nowSimon / Wild for the night fuck being polite / good music on facebook.com/dissolvedarts
peekn United States. April 14 2012 08:27. Posts 1140