[Girl Blog] Don't Get Discouraged Guys

Warning: This is a LONG blog post.

Hey TeamLiquid,

I've recently went on a 3 hour session reading most of the Girl Blogs on this site. I've noticed that I could relate to most of them in one way or another, but it appears that most of them have an unhappy ending. As such, I decided to write down all my notable girl-related experiences from the last 4 years to show you guys that although you may not succeed the first time, second time or even the third time, eventually you can reach happiness. I'd also like to point out that I'm only 18, which will become somewhat relevant later on in my story. Here we go.

Sophomore year. I had just gotten over a girl from last year since she switched schools and I probably would rarely see her again. I had a crush on her for nearly the whole of last year, and it was tough moving on but I managed. Our high school is split into two semesters, and nothing special happened first semester sophomore year. Second semester however, I was in a special Physical Education class, which basically had more field trips and was supposed to be for people more enthusiastic about physical education. Anywho, at the beginning of the class period, all the classes meet in the large gymnasium. And she immediately caught my eye. Even in just shorts and a t-shirt she was extremely attractive. I was instantly attracted to her and thought I'd try my best during the year to get to know her.

Let's call her Jade.

I found out that she was a year older, not in any of the classes but actually a peer tutor for the block, meaning she would be helping each class for a couple of weeks at a time, including ours. In the meantime I knew I had to get to know her a little better and hoped that she would be interested in getting to know me. Whenever there were activities that all the classes would take part in, I tried my best to talk to her at least once. I added her on Facebook and MSN and talked on there pretty often. As time passed she would start getting more comfortable around me, and she would also tease me in a fun way.

Eventually it was finally our class' turn to have her as peer tutor. I would talk to her even more, and eventually got her phone number. We texted a lot, nearly every day just about random stuff. Around this time, I learned about another guy in her life, someone she had been friends with for a long time and was really close with - but they weren't officially dating. Let's call this guy Dave. Dave was the one that added me on Facebook, but we never actually talked a lot; we were simply aware of each other's existence.

Now Jade and I while becoming closer, we never really hung out just the two of us. We either texted/chatted online or we talked during class. I guess I was intimidated by Dave, and by our age since both Jade and Dave were a year older. She continued to tease me, but I never looked too much into it. There are however, two events between her and I that stick out for me.

The first, we were in class. It was near the end of the year and my class were in a circle tossing a volleyball between us. Jade and her friends were in the same gym, tossing a volleyball as well. One of Jade's friends hit the volleyball too hard and it rolled towards me. While still in my circle, I tossed the ball back to her, and to my surprise hit it back to me, and for like 10-15 seconds just her and I played volleyball. I don't know why it sticks out so much, but I guess it was the fact that she put her friends aside for me, even though it was only for a handful of seconds. One of her friends called her to come back, so she took the ball and went back to her friends.

The second event was on the last day of school, where everyone goes to different classes to get their yearbooks signed by classmates and teachers. I was in the gym at the time, having people sign mine when she came in, and the first thing she does is hugs me around the waist.

And what do I do?

Nothing.

I'm frozen to where I'm standing, arms by my side. I'm still attracted to her and I still like her a lot, so why didn't I do anything? Eventually she lets go, and simply walks away to sign other people's yearbooks. To this day, it's one of the biggest regrets of my life.

It's now summer. We still text daily, but I notice she's getting closer to Dave. They're a little more touchy than opposite sex best friends should be. I knew I missed my chance, but I still talked to her as much as I could. Facebook, MSN, texting, you name it, we chatted through it.

One day I went to the beach with my friends and found out she was going too. I told her to come join us and she agreed. So she shows up, but guess who else is there. Yup. Dave. My heart sinking a little, Jade, Dave, my friends and I all played volleyball and threw a frisbee for a bit, which after they both left. I knew at that point I had no chance. 2 months before, she had given me my chance, and I threw it away. I was sure in my mind, that she would be officially be going out with Dave.

A couple of days later my fear was confirmed. She changed her relationship status on Facebook and I was devastated. All I could think of was what could've happened if I had simply hugged her back that day. 7 months of trying, all to be given away in that moment. I felt heartbroken and depressed. I was more mad at myself than sad, and told myself that I would never let that happen again.

The worst part about all of this is that I never got any closure. I've never told her how I felt, and she's never said anything to me. I could also tell that Dave never liked me too much. After they started going out, I still talked to Jade sometimes, simply as friends and sometimes Dave would tell me - half jokingly - "stop talking to my girlfriend". I say half jokingly because it wasn't in person, it was online and he also wrote it in my next year's yearbook. Why he thought I was still a threat to him is beyond me. Did he know my intentions prior to them officially dating or had Jade told him something? I've never known, and I don't think I ever will.

It's now August, about a month after I gave up on Jade. It's nearing the end of the summer. My friend was just finishing summer school and was dismissed earlier than the other classes, so he told me to go keep him company while he waited for his friends to be dismissed. I said sure, and showed up. He introduced me to his friends, including a couple of girls. I wasn't really attracted to any of them so I thought nothing of it. Later that day though, I forgot how or who added who, but I got one of the girl's email and she became a contact on MSN.

Let's call this girl Felicity.

For the next couple of months, Felicity and I talked a lot on MSN - mostly about random stuff. I wasn't initially interested in her, but the more I chatted with her, the more I got into her. The school year had already started, and I found out that she goes to a different school not far away from my own. I still never really talked or hung out with her in person, save for maybe two times. Anyway, she eventually gave me her number and we started texting as well. Eventually one day she asked me to call her. Since I rarely actually talked to her, I thought it was a pretty big step. I remember the first time I called her, I was so nervous, but the way she carried the conversation made it really easy to talk to her. I was so glad that it went well that eventually I started calling her every day, asking her about her day and she would talk to me about random stuff. It's around this time that I realized how much I started caring for her, and how much I started to like her.

There was just one thorn in my side, a guy that she kept bringing up. Let's call him Fred. Now Fred was older, and I don't know what school he went to. She never told me directly that she liked him, but I had my suspicions. Even still, I couldn't ignore the fact that we were always talking, either texting, on MSN or calling her, or her enthusiasm when she picked up when I called. I just couldn't think that she didn't feel the same way.

There's one incident with her that sticks out. We were on MSN as per usual and the conversation went something like this:

Her: Would you cry if I died?
Me: Of course I would. Would you if I did?
Her: Of course. I love you!
Me: I love you too.

Looking back now, I'm retarded for believing that she meant it, and for saying it back. But when you're in that infatuated state of mind, those are the best words you want to hear.

Then came the fateful day, sometime in October. We were talking on MSN as usual, and she told me that she was really happy, but didn't want to tell me why. At the back of my head I already knew the answer, but I kept pressing her to tell me. Eventually she did - that Fred had broken up with his girlfriend which meant he was single again. I knew it, and my heart was shaterred. Although she never told me, I always knew that she liked him, yet I let myself be lead along like a puppy - straight into a wall of heartbrokeness.

My mood through the chat immediately changed, and she noticed and asked me why I wasn't happy anymore - as if she didn't already know. So I took a deep breath to gather what courage I had left, and told her how I felt. I told her that I liked her, told her that I thought she did too and told her how I felt after she told me about Fred. She didn't reply for a bit at first, and when she did all she could say was I'm sorry. She repeated it a couple times, adding that she didn't mean anything that she said "in that way", because you can just throw around "I love you" to guys right? I simply said that I had to go to sleep, and wished her a good night. I cried myself to sleep.

I stopped talking to her for a bit, as I needed time to get over her. The original friend that introduced us talked to her about me, and he told me that she knew that she was leading me on. I guess some girls would do anything to get special attention.

Surprisingly we still remain friends to this day, mostly through texting since I haven't seen her in a year and a half. But in the back of my head I will always have this memory with her, where she led me on for months, only to completely break my heart.

All of this happened first semester of my junior year. At this point you're probably wondering when the happy stuff begins to happen. Well I'm getting to it.

Like I mentioned before, Felicity and I stayed friends. We still talked on MSN, but not nearly as often. One day a couple of months after our incident, we were having a group chat with her and a couple of her friends, a guy and a girl. The moment the girl came in she started joking around and just being really fun. She caught my attention so I added her on MSN, while still keeping in mind my previous incident, so I promised myself to be really careful.

Let's call this girl Marissa.

While befriending Marissa, I also befriended Felicity and Marissa's mutual friend, the other guy that was in the initial group chat. He became really helpful in making sure that I wasn't being led on and he told me things about me that Marissa told to him.

So for the next couple of months I talk to Marissa on MSN, nearly every day. I eventually get her phone number and text her as well. (This is all very familiar to you by now I bet). I made sure to take it a bit slower with Marissa, learning from my past mistakes with Felicity. Marissa and I clicked really well though, we laughed at the same things and liked the same things. Mind you, this was all through online chatting. Marissa went to the same school as Felicity, so after months of talking online, we decided to meet in person.

We met at the local mall, and walked around for a bit. We were really quiet since we were used to chatting online, and we were both extremely shy so we didn't say much. After walking around the mall for a while I thought that I had blown it again by being so quiet, but at the bus stop where I was going to take my bus she came up to me and hugged me. It wasn't a quick one either, she held on for a while - and this time I hugged her back. While in the hug still I asked her if she wanted to go out with me for Valentine's Day which was in a few days, and she said yes.

This happened two and a half years ago, when I was 16. I'm now nearly 19 and Marissa and I are still going strong. Although a two and a half year relationship may not seem impressive to some, considering our age and how strong my feelings are for her, I think it's definitely something special. We've had our bumps in the road for sure, maybe even more than the average couple goes through, but every time we get through an issue and work through it, we become that much stronger of a couple.

So all you guys that write Girl Blogs, or are dealing with a girl and don't know what to do - if it's your first girl then you're bound to make mistakes. If it doesn't work out with her, give yourself time to recover, but don't think for a minute that it's the end of the world. Learn from the mistakes you made last time so things go better with the next girl that comes into your life. Don't get discouraged, and if at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try again.

Last edit: 2012-07-07 07:56:23

MisterD Germany. July 07 2012 08:35. Posts 1338

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someone seems to have mislabeled [brag blog] as [girl blog]!

Gold isn't everything in life... you need wood, too!

SageFantasma United States. July 07 2012 09:06. Posts 340

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On July 07 2012 08:35 MisterD wrote:
someone seems to have mislabeled [brag blog] as [girl blog]!

His entire blog was about girls! 7/8 of it was about his lack of success with women, and the last bit where you might consider it a brag blog was the smallest paragraph with any significant content in the entire blog! Just because the blog has a happy ending doesn't mean it's a brag blog. Too many times the Girl Blogs on TL are all about having depressing endings, its good to see some TLers finding success ^_^

To OP: Glad to hear you stuck through it all and managed to find a girl you seem to really enjoy being around. Hopefully more of us less female-fortunate TLers can find a similar degree of success. Thanks for sharing, was great to read :D

Night-vision top-hat!

obesechicken13 United States. July 07 2012 09:13. Posts 4268

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I think everyone knows to try. Good read but can you elucidate on the Marissa thing? Does she know you were told what she said about you?

DarkPlasmaBall United States. July 07 2012 09:14. Posts 19998

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You should have renamed the girls so that you ended up with Felicity!

Regardless, I definitely agree with you that you should take every failed love interest as a learning experience, grow, and move on. Eventually it'll work out

"Those who can, teach. Those who can't, whine about teachers." ~Me

r.Evo Germany. July 07 2012 09:30. Posts 5232

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Awwww... this one is kinda cute. <3

So "Felicity" is now the name for the girl that the OP never gets?

"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross

MisterD Germany. July 07 2012 09:57. Posts 1338

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On July 07 2012 09:06 SageFantasma wrote:

Show nested quote +

exactly my point. Girl blogs must have bad endings, otherwise they are brag blogs.

Gold isn't everything in life... you need wood, too!

sc4k United Kingdom. July 07 2012 10:02. Posts 4434

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Sorry didn't read that my exact point had already been made by someone else.

Last edit: 2012-07-07 10:03:49

B.I.G. July 07 2012 10:11. Posts 2063

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Felicity is the new official term for "the one that got away".

Metal[x] China. July 07 2012 10:47. Posts 5317

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cute read.

mizU United States. July 07 2012 11:11. Posts 10012

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Sounds like you went through some nice learning experiences and came out better from them.

if happy ever afters did exist <3 @watamizu_

oPPRoBe United States. July 07 2012 11:30. Posts 197

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Haha, what a nice story. Thanks for the encouragement!

lmlm

venomium Netherlands. July 07 2012 13:47. Posts 212

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Damn Felicity, she's always leading on TL members -.-

Great post though; reminds me of something my dad once said to me: 'Make sure you never marry the first girl you fall in love with'.

I hated that statement back then, being a romantic and all, but your blog illustrates how important it is to gain experience with multiple girls, as girlfriends or girl-friends.
Great example and 100% in line with my current point of view after dated a few girls, there'll allways be a Felicity, the girl that gets away, no matter how strong you two are bonding.

Morale of the story; Felicity always ends up hurting us, but while hurting, giving us experience to meet our 'Marissa'.

" I think we finally found the magic number of guns needed to be pointed at the TL hive mind to deter sexual molestation (9)" -Coagulation

dLKnighT Canada. July 07 2012 13:48. Posts 729

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On July 07 2012 09:13 obesechicken13 wrote:
I think everyone knows to try. Good read but can you elucidate on the Marissa thing? Does she know you were told what she said about you?

Well it was harmless things, such as "how does she think it's going between us" simply so I could get a feel of where she thought we were. I also didn't want to keep talking to her if she wasn't interested, like with Felicity

I don't think she KNEW that the information was being rallied on, but it makes no difference at this point!

Integra Sweden. July 07 2012 15:40. Posts 4929

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On July 07 2012 08:35 MisterD wrote:
someone seems to have mislabeled [brag blog] as [girl blog]!

This comment said more about you than about him haha

"Dark Pleasure"

nihoh Australia. July 07 2012 15:46. Posts 937

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Fucking Felicity, man.

Dont look at the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.

FractalsOnFire Australia. July 07 2012 17:37. Posts 1300

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