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 vGl-CoW Belgium. December 15 2012 02:47. Posts 8270 | Profile Blog # |
+ Show Spoiler [First-Time Readers, Click Here] +What is TL Noir?TL Noir is a detective story about a dapper Moderator named Cow who works in TL City. He is tasked with hunting down a troll who is terrorizing TL's populace. Join him on his perilous search through the dark streets of TL and be prepared to experience mystery, adventure, suspense, horror and many, many other intense words. You can start reading here: Part 1
I wake up. It takes me a moment to realize I'm not in the comfort of my bedroom. What happened before wasn't just a feverish dream. I'm banished from TL. Eliminated by that fucking psychopath. Hot Bid. Just the thought of his name makes me clench my fists. Where did he send me? It's dark in here – black as a panther's ass. Smells like one, too.
I take a few hesitant steps, arms stretched out in front of me like I'm trying to grab an invisible pair of breasts, and then freeze when I hear a scurrying sound. I'm not alone in here. The sound seems to be coming from all around me. I still can't see a thing. I'd trade my left nut for a flashlight right about now.
“Hello? Anyone here? Show yourself!” I yell into the wall of darkness, failing to hide the trembling in my voice. Suddenly, I hear a crisp voice, just inches from my ear.
“Welcome.”
Before I can even react, something hard hits me on the back of the head and I lose consciousness. Down I go again.
For the second time in an uncomfortably short while, I wake up with no idea of where I am. My head feels like someone used it for football practice. I look around very slowly, cradling my head like it's a precious overgrown egg. I'm lying on the floor in the middle of a big, rectangular room. Huge room, actually. Very high ceiling. Rows of pillars on either side of the room. This place has seen better times. Withered paintings on the wall, panels of rotting wood. Paint and gold leaf peeling off everywhere. It looks like a dead king's throne room. A fungus-like odor permeates the air, like the smell of wet forest soil.
It's not until I look right in front of me that I notice the large, dilapidated throne in the center of the far wall. A shadowy, oddly-shaped figure is sitting on it. I spot several humanoid silhouettes flanking the throne, like a ghostly court, quietly staring at me. It looks like they were waiting for me to wake up. The central figure rises from its throne and starts walking towards me. Whatever it is, it doesn't seem human. The proportions are all wrong and there are too many bulges where the head is supposed to be. The silhouettes follow behind him. I briefly consider running, but what's the point? I don't even know where I am, where I should run to or what I'm running away from. Plus, they could have easily cuffed me or locked me up, but they didn't. That's already enough to know I shouldn't even bother trying to escape.
The grotesque figure stops, halfway between myself and the throne. He's still cloaked in shadows, but I can feel his piercing gaze.
“Greetings, Cow. Welcome to my domain.”
That voice. Where have I heard that voice before? It sounds much more high-pitched than I was expecting.
“How do you know my name?” I ask, my mind racing to put a face on the mysterious voice.
“The device on your wrist. And some of my minions still remember you.” A couple of the silhouettes softly giggle, a few others hiss.
“Your minions? Who are you? What is this place?” I ask. “I feel like I know you...”
“Oh, everybody knows me, or at least, they used to, before my kingdom was destroyed by you and your friends.” The creature spits out that last word, like it left a bad taste in its mouth. “You don't recognize my voice? Here, let me reveal myself.”
The figure steps forward, into a circle of faint light falling in through a crack high up in the ceiling. Black skin, covered in short fur. Black, shiny nose. A flesh-colored face. Big black ears, round and tattered. Red pants, dirty, worn out and missing one of its buttons. Yellow shoes, barely still stitched together, covered in filth. I can't believe it.
Mickey fuckin' Mouse.
Of course. That voice. My childhood memories. I'm in Disneyland. They literally banish people to Disneyland. I always thought it was just some weird figure of speech. I'm staring at Mickey Mouse, not knowing what to say.
“Starting to put two and two together?” he asks with a bitter look in his eyes.
“I... What happened to this place? This was a paradise.” It's a dumb question. I already know the answer.
“What do you think happened?” Mickey hisses sharply. “You shipped all of your worst criminals here. For years. Our kingdom couldn't handle that much evil. We were overrun. Those who weren't slaughtered, fled. I lost all of my friends. Everyone I ever knew. I lost Goofy. I lost Pluto.” Furiously, he steps closer and grabs my collar with torn grey gloves that were once an immaculate white. “I lost Minnie!” I can feel the anger in his grip. I can see the tears in his eyes, pupils black as tar pits. “I loved her. And she's gone. All because of you!”
He throws me to the ground with surprising ferocity. Instinctively, I throw my arm up to protect myself.
“Wait!” I yell, “I didn't know! I swear I didn't know. I never would have supported this. You have to believe me. I can help you. Please.”
Mickey lets out a short, bitter laugh. “Help me? How are you going to help me? Are you going to bring everyone I loved back from the dead? Magically restore this kingdom? I think you've helped enough,” he sneers.
“I can help you get revenge,” I quickly reply. “I know the person who must have been behind all this. He's the one who sent me here, because I tried to stop him. He's a ruthless monster. His name is Hot Bid.” As soon as I utter his name, a cacophony of hisses and wails erupts from the silhouettes surrounding Mickey. He observes the distress of his underlings with some surprise and turns back to me.
“Judging from the reactions of my followers, there seems to be some truth to your words. Tell me more.”
I study the minions. They stare back with hollow eyes. Their skin is grey and their bodies appear desiccated, but their stringy muscles seem nonetheless powerful, and they have sharp teeth and menacing claws.
“You... control these guys, correct?” I ask.
Mickey nods. “These are the monsters your beloved city sent us. I was the only one strong enough to eventually break their will and bring them under my submission. Much too late...”
“I think I have a plan, Mickey. Let's talk.”
– TO BE CONTINUED –
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| | follow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow |
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| Rick Deckard December 15 2012 03:10. Posts 90 | Profile # |
Awesome. I continue to be amused and somewhat baffled.
This is as good as the internet ever was. |
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| Dirkzor Denmark. December 15 2012 03:18. Posts 1341 | Profile Blog # |
| Awesome yet again. I did not expect Mickey Mouse to appear =) |
| | Getting all badges on Kongregate.com -> My blog to see progress! |
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| surfinbird1 Germany. December 15 2012 03:48. Posts 999 | Profile # |
| Haha, I had to laugh so hard at the Disneyland part. I was already asking myself how you would implement that part of TL mythology into your story after the last part. Brilliant, you pulled it off. Oh, and here's a fun fact. Every time you're knocked unconscious for more than say 30 seconds you've likely suffered massive brain damage. Several minutes or hours will probably kill you :D |
| | life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery |
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 shostakovich Brazil. December 15 2012 04:36. Posts 719 | Profile Blog # | |
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| jodogohoo Canada. December 15 2012 10:55. Posts 2488 | Profile Blog # |
| i will never view disney land the same again D; |
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| ]343[ United States. December 15 2012 11:29. Posts 8153 | Profile Blog # | |
| | move along, move along, just to make it through || RIP KT_Violet <3 | |
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| HwangjaeTerran Finland. December 15 2012 18:23. Posts 4968 | Profile Blog # |
| The Mickey in South Park is a continuation of this, no? |
| | “Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.” Michel Tournier |
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| Qbek Poland. December 15 2012 21:50. Posts 4277 | Profile # |
"I'm gonna huehue you all to disneyland"
But only perms are to real disney land, right? Coz temps would come back and tell everyone |
| | I dojed huehue // Play for fun or try the harderest with vengeance |
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| dudecrush Canada. December 16 2012 07:14. Posts 379 | Profile # |
| I love these blogs. I can't wait for part 8! |
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| vGl-CoW Belgium. December 17 2012 21:46. Posts 8270 | Profile Blog # |
Thanks for the comments, guys!
On December 15 2012 03:48 surfinbird1 wrote:
Haha, I had to laugh so hard at the Disneyland part. I was already asking myself how you would implement that part of TL mythology into your story after the last part. Brilliant, you pulled it off. Oh, and here's a fun fact. Every time you're knocked unconscious for more than say 30 seconds you've likely suffered massive brain damage. Several minutes or hours will probably kill you :D
Not me, I'm a hero! *blood starts dribbling out of my ears and my left eye wanders off to the side a lil bit*
On December 15 2012 18:23 HwangjaeTerran wrote:
The Mickey in South Park is a continuation of this, no?
It's sort of the same in that they're both rulers of Disneyland, but my Mickey isn't really evil like the one in South Park. He's just had a really rough time.
On December 15 2012 21:50 Qbek wrote:
"I'm gonna huehue you all to disneyland"
But only perms are to real disney land, right? Coz temps would come back and tell everyone
Yeah, in part 2 I wrote about how temp banned people are locked out of their bodies for a while and float around like ghosts, unable to interact with the world. I guess that's the canon! |
| | follow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow |
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| Qbek Poland. December 18 2012 00:29. Posts 4277 | Profile # |
And PBU's? They have to sign a NDA? I guess coming back from a ban requires a special case treatment  Don't get me wrong, I love creating "lore" |
| | I dojed huehue // Play for fun or try the harderest with vengeance |
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| t0ssboy Bulgaria. December 18 2012 04:22. Posts 366 | Profile # |
| Damn it cow,now i can't go to sleep. |
| | Courage is doing what you are afraid to do.There can be no courage if there is no fear. |
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| sorrowptoss Canada. December 25 2012 03:01. Posts 999 | Profile Blog # |
Where's Part 8?  I've been reading all the parts and I hate cliffhangers! Arghh... These are amazing and astonishingly accurate! |
| | Flash, Taeja, MvP, Jaedong, Stephano fighting! DEMUSLIM is the most awesome person in the world! |
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 Praetorial United States. December 25 2012 03:03. Posts 3631 | Profile Blog # |
Mickey Mouse?!
Well, it is Disneyland I guess |
| | FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods! |
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| Coagulation United States. December 25 2012 03:09. Posts 7561 | Profile Blog # |
lmfao @ the hisses.
Cow your an inspiration beyond words man. cant wait for the next part. |
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| astroorion United States. December 25 2012 03:56. Posts 928 | Profile Blog # |
| If you got someone to narrate these it would be so sick! But great read none the less! |
| | Playhem Admin | vVvAstro 137 NA&EU | |
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