 Klogon US of A. June 07 2007 00:10. Posts 12421 | Profile Blog |
[From June 24, 2005]
You know, when you enter a country that you are not familiar with, there are some things that people need to know. For example, if somebody was going into Korea, I would tell them to take their shoes off before entering a house, expect to sit on the ground often, etc. But apparently nobody thought telling me that each bathroom stall in China does not always have toilet paper was important.
Yes, toilet paper. One of life's essential elements. So here's the story. After getting some food poisoning, I had some pretty bad diarrhea. And so while I was waiting for my flight at Beijing International Airport, I had to go so I ran into one of the empty stalls, and let my load go. After I was relieved of the burden, I looked around and found to my dismay that there was not roll of toilet paper in sight.
I panicked.
I mean seriously, WHAT DO YOU DO WITHOUT TOILET PAPER? I couldn't just pull my pants up without smearing my feces all over my pants, so I just sat there for a while thinking. I couldn't speak Chinese, nobody in the area could speak English or Korean... so I was screwed.
But salvation came in the form of a deep Australian accent, or so I thought. This man walks in and I think was talking on his cell phone, speaking in a thick Australian accent. "I'm saved!" I thought. So I decided to call out to him.
"Excuse me. Excuse me. Any English speaking people out there? I need some help here. I'm stuck in this stall without toilet paper. I repeat, any English speakers please help me out."
No response. I called out two more times, and no response. The guy must have been freaked and ran away. So, with my plane leaving in 30 minutes, and my resources exhausted, I did the only thing a man could do in this situation:
I used the used toilet paper in the trashcan behind the toilet. My fresh poop and some chink's dried crap became one multiple times as I wiped my buttocks "clean." Now that, my friend, is freaking NASTY.Last edit: 2007-06-07 00:23:04
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 dronebabo Japan. June 07 2007 00:14. Posts 9999 | Profile Blog |
| wait...the dried poop touched your anus? |
| | When a flat chested girl hugs you, she's holding you closer to her heart. |
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| Klogon US of A. June 07 2007 00:16. Posts 12421 | Profile Blog |
| As little as possible. ;D |
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 BroOd Forvik. June 07 2007 00:23. Posts 7159 | Profile Blog |
| I think I'm gonna be sick. |
| | ಠ_ಠ • TL CJ Entusman #3 • We’re just a million little gods causin rain storms, turnin’ every good thing to rust. |
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| dronebabo Japan. June 07 2007 00:27. Posts 9999 | Profile Blog |
| so ....how long did it take for you to wash your anus after that? |
| | When a flat chested girl hugs you, she's holding you closer to her heart. |
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| Klogon US of A. June 07 2007 00:32. Posts 12421 | Profile Blog |
| I had to wait till after I landed in Korea again to wash it. It was a pleasant ride home. |
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 semioldguy United States. June 07 2007 00:33. Posts 4757 | Profile Blog |
| I think I might have left the stall with my pants down in search of toilet paper before wiping my ass with another man's shit. |
| | o-<--< I kidnapped Little Victor!!! |
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| Hot_Bid Braavos. June 07 2007 01:16. Posts 22081 | Profile Blog |
| or just use your underwear and throw it out |
| | Remember Shinhan3 • Coach Cho's kids are still hungry. But not for food. • (–_–) |
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 DeadVessel United States. June 07 2007 02:31. Posts 6269 | Profile Blog |
| lmao omg what a true man, you should kept your pants down and searched like semioldguy said. |
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 alffla Hong Kong. June 07 2007 04:35. Posts 13083 | Profile Blog |
/AHAHAHHA OMFGGG
shit
sorry to hear this
mainland china sucks though |
| | savior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY! |
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 StarN Korea (South). June 07 2007 07:10. Posts 2204 | Profile Blog |
| HAHAHAHAHA Klogon that is disgustingly funny. Why were you in China? |
| | #1 Leta Fan::::::::::::::::::::::::::ICCup ID - StarN |
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 Vin{MBL} June 07 2007 09:10. Posts 4855 | Profile Blog |
hahhhah omg, testie was complaining about this same thing too LOL
in school when that happens alot of people use notebook pages (rofl) |
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 haduken China. June 07 2007 09:11. Posts 5018 | Profile Blog |
| lololololol. you are suppose to buy a roll at the vending machine ~_~ |
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 omgbnetsux United States. June 07 2007 09:45. Posts 3594 | Profile Blog | |
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| Klogon US of A. June 07 2007 14:59. Posts 12421 | Profile Blog |
On June 07 2007 07:10 StarN wrote:
HAHAHAHAHA Klogon that is disgustingly funny. Why were you in China?
I was touring Beijing back in '05 while I was in Korea.
And yeah... you'd think Beijing International Airport would be... more westernized? Especially with the Olympics coming in? I don't know - it surprised the crap out of me, that's for sure. |
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 Physician  United States. June 07 2007 19:08. Posts 4000 | Profile Blog |
you better get yourself checked for hepatitis C and B.. and while you at it HIV and syphilis too..
I rather use my own underwear as a cleaning tool - and discard it (or saved it for washing after if I had some personal attachment to it lol..) rather than take the risk with an unknown source of poop infested toilet paper..
4/5 would have given it a 5/5 for the story had you used your own underwear (even if silk).. Last edit: 2007-06-07 19:11:43 |
| | ((( Signal to Noise ))) http://tinyurl.com/n5teo3 |
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 Daveed United States. June 20 2007 15:48. Posts 226 | Profile Blog |
On June 07 2007 14:59 Klogon wrote: it surprised the crap out of me, that's for sure.
Hah, ha ha |
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 CharlieMurphy United States. November 03 2007 19:06. Posts 17055 | Profile Blog |
On June 07 2007 19:08 Physician wrote:
you better get yourself checked for hepatitis C and B.. and while you at it HIV and syphilis too..
I rather use my own underwear as a cleaning tool - and discard it (or saved it for washing after if I had some personal attachment to it lol..) rather than take the risk with an unknown source of poop infested toilet paper..
4/5 would have given it a 5/5 for the story had you used your own underwear (even if silk)..
wow, never thought of that. I've done a similar thing with trash (but there was no previous shit on it lol) |
| | So I had ta, ya know, check 'em. (Aka SpoR) |
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