          
Website Feedback
Closed Threads
IRC Updated
irc.quakenet.org #teamliquid
IRC Web Client | | New to Team Liquid? Register here! | | | | |
|
 ToKoreaWithLove Norway. March 02 2009 02:37. Posts 7865 | Profile Blog |
Something I found in the depths of my google docs folder. Don't know if anyone wants this but I'm putting it up here anyway. Oh yea and it's all true.
Background: I'm wrote this one day because I had too much on my mind and too many promises to never tell anyone about secrets I've been told. I'm one of the persons, the others are people I know.
It sets early these days. As I close the doors and switch on the alarm, walk the few steps to the car and then sit down in the driver's seat it is all around me. To feel the natural heat seems so far away, and yet it is only a tiny few months the wait. I close the door, take of my sweater and lean back to relax. Twist of the key and the v6 roars onto life, quickly settling down to a nice, calming sound. I close my eyes for a second, and the images comes again. They fill my vision, blocks out every other sense, and it flickers like cellar lightning in a bad horror movie - or a good one.
I'm fourteen. I'm sleeping at my father's house, and as usual he has been drinking. His girlfriend is scared because he gets angry and violent when he drinks. I am in bed, hiding behind the blankets and wanting to sleep. He walks in. I can smell the familiar alcohol on his breath. I expect him to lean over and make something resembling the sound of "good night". But it is different. He lays down beside me and starts stroking me. He puts a pillow over my head, and I have no clothes. I cry softly as he does the unthinkable, and in one drunken act destroys everything I was, am and might become.
I'm fifteen. My father, the big, horrible man, makes a speech about how proud he is of me. He is sober now, and he, the big man, cries about how he never gets to see me. It is as it never happened. As the single act that changed the very essence of me is something he has burried and never wants to speak of again. I smile at him, my soft innocent smile, but as I do something breaks inside. I still smile. Nobody knows but him and me, and because I can't deal with it I chose to leave it. He is my father, and I want to see him.
I'm eighteen. Last year of college, and I am a different child. I come home from school and a nice hour in the city with my friends. I am happy. As I walk down the three stone steps and onto the grass, I look for what seems like the first time at the steps to the door. There is something about them. They seem longer, darker, taller. Walking them is a chore, and as I walk my god spirits slowly ebb away. I can't explain, but somehow I feel it. I put my hand on the door handle, and it is ice cold. The sun shares 30 degrees with us, but the black metal door handle is ice cold. I'm still here, but in the woods a mere mile away hangs the ghost. The ghost of a loving, caring father whom only knew how to do good onto others, but missed the importance of doing good to himself. He leaves behind a broken heart, a crying family and a scared child.
I'm eighteen again. I have a great friend. A great, great friend with whom I can share anything, and who always listens. Like you want a boyfriend to be if you are a girl. I'm not. I celebrate my birthday at his house, a few other friend are also there. We go sleep, I sleep on an inflatable bed. I'm very much under the influence, and sleeping soundly. As I wake up I have the weird sense of a hand on my ass. I look around in the partly lit room, but there is only him in his own bed, and me in mine. I shake it off as a dream and quickly go back to sleepland. And wake again, the same feeling. I lay awake the rest of the night.
I'm ninteen. I punch my former friend in the face. Not for being gay. For feeling me, his best friend, up in my happy sleep. For not telling me. I never speak to him again.
I open my eyes again, let out the air I've been holding. Hands are firmly placed in the ten to two position, seat position adjusted and I drive away. Slowly at first, then as the roads get better and the people fewer, I speed up. My todo list is full. It's a young day still.
Last edit: 2009-03-02 02:48:31
 |
| | Duty is heavy as a mountain, death is light as a feather. | Land of the free? |
|
|
 micronesia United States. March 02 2009 02:41. Posts 9999 | Profile Blog |
Depths?
Is this something you were working on and just forgot about? It reminded me that I've been meaning to look into using Google docs for something for the last year hahaha.
http://docs.google.com/
edit: oh yeah and why did you write this originally? Some background would be nice, I think.Last edit: 2009-03-02 02:42:20 |
| | Current High Game: 289 | Current High Series: 712 | Current Average: Utter Crap |
|
|
| ToKoreaWithLove Norway. March 02 2009 02:49. Posts 7865 | Profile Blog |
On March 02 2009 02:41 micronesia wrote:Depths? Is this something you were working on and just forgot about? It reminded me that I've been meaning to look into using Google docs for something for the last year hahaha. http://docs.google.com/edit: oh yeah and why did you write this originally? Some background would be nice, I think.
Thanks I added some and fixed. |
| | Duty is heavy as a mountain, death is light as a feather. | Land of the free? |
|
|
 HeavOnEarth March 02 2009 03:02. Posts 3837 | Profile Blog |
Slowly at first, then as the roads get better and the people fewer,
so true.... |
|
|
 Seraphim United States. March 02 2009 04:35. Posts 4203 | Profile Blog |
| Nicely written. Very good read. |
| | Hermes | Bisu[Shield] Fighting~! |
|
|
| HeavOnEarth March 02 2009 05:13. Posts 3837 | Profile Blog |
"Forgotten" or "bittersweet" for title name?
... or whatever a word word for not being understood is ; when somethings important to you but ignored/not cared by others.
Although not knowing what to call it (intended or not ) does make a rather good title |
|
|
 boesthius United States. March 02 2009 05:21. Posts 3475 | Profile Blog | |
| |
|
 BuGzlToOnl United States. March 02 2009 06:45. Posts 4793 | Profile Blog |
| Wow, really, really enjoyed the read. |
| | If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. |
|
|
 misclick United States. March 02 2009 06:59. Posts 100 | Profile |
| five for fighting - one hundred years |
| | we have everything under control |
|
|
 Makiva March 02 2009 07:47. Posts 85 | Profile Blog |
there's kind of an eerie cadence to this writing. i'm not entirely sure if it's due to the subject matter, but there's a wistful haze to it - nice job man  |
|
|
 Energies Australia. March 02 2009 09:48. Posts 2593 | Profile Blog |
| Thanks for the great read. |
| | "Everybody wanna be a bodybuilder but dont nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight" - Ronnie Coleman. |
|
|
| | |
|
|
|
 |
|
      
|
![[image loading]](http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/5204/blackmetalhandle.jpg)
