 Bockit Australia. June 07 2009 20:48. Posts 2079 | Profile Blog |
I didn’t initially mean to post this. I was originally writing this down to formalise my thoughts on an event that occurred in the last couple of hours. Halfway through I realised that it will probably 1)Do my good and 2)Might help someone else if I did post it. So here goes.
Pride
Pride should be a sin. Or at least, the excess of pride.Pride deserves its title as the deadliest sin. It undermines that which you are proud of. You begin to take the object of your pride for granted. You assume that it will remain so forever. You forget the hard work you put into it.
When this decay of that which you are proud grows too much, when you are forced to watch it fall apart, purely because you were too to see the damage that is occurring, you have a small moment of clarity. In an instant, you see the results of your excess pride. How hypocritical it was.
In my mind, I am a great person. I have my values and I uphold them. I accept when others’ values don’t match. I am the kind of person that if you really need someone or something, I can be relied upon. And I keep my word.
And for the last couple of years, this has been true. It has not been uncommon for friends to share significant secrets. Secrets that I have kept until now, and always will. I have heard the words “You come across as a guy who will keep a secret” many times.
Not always.
Tonight I not only broke my brother's trust, but also did this in a malicious manner. I don’t expect him to forgive me for a while. I doubt I will forgive myself. I won’t go into the details, because quite frankly I am still ashamed. It was the ultimate dickhead move.
It was a case of immediate regret. It was almost horror. The part of me that existed one and two years ago was aghast at what I had just allowed myself to do. Not even that, what I had made the conscious decision to do. It was definitely an in the heat of the moment action, but that doesn’t change anything for my brother.
Just yesterday, I found out someone was being dishonest and deceptive about something. I confronted them, and since they showed no remorse, we ended up in an argument. I was confident in my position of an honest person. Seconds after doing what I did tonight, this situation from yesterday came roaring into my mind. It makes great hypocrisy of my earlier pride and confidence.
And the greater the pride is, the greater the hypocrisy when it eventually falls.
I have learnt though. Going over what just happened I have been forced to evaluate not just the actions regarding keeping my word but also everything else in my life that I consider myself to be proud of. Already I can see examples of places where I am treading perilously close to the situation I just encountered and I feel almost purged in the humility I am currently feeling. The fact that I wrote the previous sentence is almost a case in itself. Watching for excess pride is a fine line to tread. Become too sure of your alertness and you have fallen into the trap while looking for it.
Beware hubris.
DISCLAIMER: This isn’t an emo piece. I’m not trying to proclaim that my life sucks, or that because I fucked up so bad and am now spiralling into a black spiral of death etc. I realise that what I have done is remediable over the long term. I am just trying to pass on advice to people that might not have come across the same thing yet, in the hope someone else can recognise the symptoms before they break something.
If you have had a similar experience, after which you gained a new appreciation for the danger of hubris, feel free to share.Last edit: 2009-06-07 22:34:11
   |
| |
|
 Rekrul San Diego. June 07 2009 20:57. Posts 13053 | Profile Blog |
Pride is usually just a guise for insecurity. (Not saying that pride is the only form that insecurity manifests itself as obviously.)
That or you're a Korean then it means you've been brainwashed since birth.
LOLLast edit: 2009-06-07 21:07:58 |
| |
|
 Liquid`Zephyr United States. June 07 2009 21:05. Posts 294 | Profile |
| i think somewhere they grouped the seven sins that world found the deadliest and pride was listed amongst them...somewhere Last edit: 2009-06-07 21:06:18 |
|
|
 Vivi57 United States. June 07 2009 21:07. Posts 2476 | Profile Blog |
On June 07 2009 20:57 Rekrul wrote:
Pride is usually just a guise for insecurity.
That or you're a Korean then it means you've been brainwashed since birth.
LOL
ffs why can't we all be as humble as you |
| | Flash hwaiting! Nal_rA forever! |
|
|
 Nytefish United Kingdom. June 07 2009 21:08. Posts 1839 | Profile Blog |
I think due to my asian upbringing I've been hard-wired to being humble and modest (or at least try). There's always someone better, don't think you're better than others, etc.
In my experience, the people who lack confidence and get pushed around also tend to be more honest types, except if you confront them about their shyness.  |
| |
|
| Bockit Australia. June 07 2009 21:08. Posts 2079 | Profile Blog |
@rekrul Yeah I think that's pretty true.
@liquid`zephyr Woops. I've never really been able to remember the seven deadly sins. Should have occurred to me heh. |
| |
|
| Rekrul San Diego. June 07 2009 21:09. Posts 13053 | Profile Blog |
On June 07 2009 21:07 Vivi57 wrote:
Show nested quote +On June 07 2009 20:57 Rekrul wrote:
Pride is usually just a guise for insecurity.
That or you're a Korean then it means you've been brainwashed since birth.
LOL
ffs why can't we all be as humble as you
Achieving everything you dreamed of and more as a kid and then realizing absolutely nothing has changed is a humbling experience. |
| |
|
| Vivi57 United States. June 07 2009 21:11. Posts 2476 | Profile Blog |
Really though, I can't say I can relate. Of all the seven deadly sins, pride is one of the ones I'm least worried about.
Thanks for the reminder though, I could definitely see pride killing me later on. |
| | Flash hwaiting! Nal_rA forever! |
|
|
 Zoler Sweden. June 07 2009 21:20. Posts 3942 | Profile Blog |
On June 07 2009 20:57 Rekrul wrote:
Pride is usually just a guise for insecurity.
I agree 5/5!!
|
| | BW-Zoler - Lim Yo Hwan forever! |
|
|
| Racenilatr United States. June 07 2009 22:38. Posts 2695 | Profile Blog |
Pride comes to me when I never want it  |
|
|
 Jibba United States. June 07 2009 22:42. Posts 7604 | Profile Blog |
On June 07 2009 20:57 Rekrul wrote:
Pride is usually just a guise for insecurity. (Not saying that pride is the only form that insecurity manifests itself as obviously.)
I think it's a bit of a self defense mechanism for insecurity. The more you can accept this, the easier it becomes to control but it'll never go away. There's always going to be some circumstances that bring it out in you. |
| | There you have it. It didn't come from the government down. There was no dictum, no declaration, no censorship, to start with, no! Technology, mass exploitation, minority pressure, carried the trick. |
|
|
| Rekrul San Diego. June 07 2009 22:46. Posts 13053 | Profile Blog | |
| |
|
 R3condite Korea (South). June 08 2009 00:10. Posts 1536 | Profile |
i believe pride is already a sin...
On June 07 2009 21:11 Vivi57 wrote:
Really though, I can't say I can relate. Of all the seven deadly sins, pride is one of the ones I'm least worried about.
Thanks for the reminder though, I could definitely see pride killing me later on.
is this ur pride talking?
haha, i think this thread should relate to most TL members...Last edit: 2009-06-08 00:13:55 |
| |
|
 Ingenol United States. June 08 2009 01:31. Posts 633 | Profile |
Honestly, people today don't have enough (true) pride. Of course if it becomes irrational and undeserved then it's a problem, but I can name interactions I've had with people from Doctors to McDonald's clerks who clearly take no pride in themselves or their work and it's becomes obvious in the poor services and lack of effort they provide, and moreover a total lack of interest in improving that.
The key is that you should strive to do things/be a person you can be proud of, not be innately proud of yourself and therefore arrogant about your actions. I do agree that many are proud to the point of being irrational and it blinds them to their mistakes and shortcomings. |
|
|
 Klockan3 Sweden. June 08 2009 02:42. Posts 1882 | Profile Blog |
| I thought that this was a topic about gays |
|
|
 Code Canada. June 08 2009 06:30. Posts 112 | Profile |
| The night of the fight (with your brother), you may have felt a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps. |
|
|
| Vivi57 United States. June 08 2009 06:51. Posts 2476 | Profile Blog |
On June 08 2009 00:10 R3condite wrote:i believe pride is already a sin...
Show nested quote +On June 07 2009 21:11 Vivi57 wrote:
Really though, I can't say I can relate. Of all the seven deadly sins, pride is one of the ones I'm least worried about.
Thanks for the reminder though, I could definitely see pride killing me later on.
is this ur pride talking? haha, i think this thread should relate to most TL members...
probably.
*shrug* |
| | Flash hwaiting! Nal_rA forever! |
|
|
| Rekrul San Diego. June 08 2009 08:02. Posts 13053 | Profile Blog |
On June 08 2009 00:10 R3condite wrote:i believe pride is already a sin...
Show nested quote +On June 07 2009 21:11 Vivi57 wrote:
Really though, I can't say I can relate. Of all the seven deadly sins, pride is one of the ones I'm least worried about.
Thanks for the reminder though, I could definitely see pride killing me later on.
is this ur pride talking? haha, i think this thread should relate to most TL members...
we are all insecure in one way or another
even the most comfortable-zen-personality-seen-it-all-badass-mother-fuckers are insecure in one way or another |
| |
|
 FakeSteve[TPR] Valhalla. June 08 2009 12:10. Posts 13395 | Profile Blog |
yeah like one of my nipples is slightly off-color from the other one
i'm hella self concious about it |
| | FINAL SCORE 0-4 I AM A NEWBIE. Practicing every day to be as good at terran as Manifesto7 [TAKING APPLICATIONS FOR THIS SPACE PM ME] ~~~ vrok, newest FakeSteve Fan Club member (55)! |
|
|
| | |
