I'm a noob in the sack

I admit it. Especially after last night.

The hottest girl I've ever been with and we ended up laughing and joking around instead of humping.

At first I couldn't even unhook her bra. Then I was talking aloud to myself in order to make sure I got the condom on correctly but then when it was on, I think the blood flow down south stopped and it got all soft and wouldn't even go in.

FML

I got so frustrated that I took the condom off and threw it aside. Once I got hard again, I couldn't put that condom back on. WTF, I didn't know it was so difficult to put back on an opened condom.

Anyway, for all you noobs out there. It may seem lame to plan ahead, but fucking plan ahead.

Because shit happens.. like it did to me =\

poo

n.DieJokes United States. July 31 2009 08:03. Posts 3274

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rough, did you get anything or was the whole night bust?

ＭｙＬｏｖｅ + ＹｏｕｒＬｏｖｅ= ＳｕｐａＬｏｖｅ

Judicator United States. July 31 2009 08:10. Posts 5733

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I am sorry but this is hilarious in the way you tell it.

Get it by your hands...

Rekrul Korea (South). July 31 2009 08:10. Posts 16552

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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

why so 진지해?

A3iL3r0n United States. July 31 2009 08:11. Posts 2188

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quality advice 5/5

This increased dosage was delivered intravenously on the morning of Day9. -- George Saunders

Ack1027 United States. July 31 2009 08:12. Posts 7026

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rofl
Shit happens. Now you know to plan ahead.

[ TL's #1 Boxer fan since '04 ]

Ingenol United States. July 31 2009 08:13. Posts 1228

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That's brutal. Condoms are meant as one time use things, haha.

Ack1027 United States. July 31 2009 08:13. Posts 7026

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Also don't reuse the condom if you've already put it on once.

I missed that the first time because I was laughing...sorry lol =/

[ TL's #1 Boxer fan since '04 ]

clazziquai July 31 2009 08:14. Posts 6685

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omg lol 5/5

#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~

Zurles United Kingdom. July 31 2009 08:16. Posts 1655

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five out of five!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope this is real

krazymunky United States. July 31 2009 08:18. Posts 725

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On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

"life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery"

ChaseR Norway. July 31 2009 08:20. Posts 1004

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On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Life is not Fucking Fair and Society is not Fucking Logical - "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"

Rekrul Korea (South). July 31 2009 08:20. Posts 16552

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nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself

why so 진지해?

RaGe Belgium. July 31 2009 08:21. Posts 9613

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5/5

Honesty owns

sometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle

Pengu1n United States. July 31 2009 08:23. Posts 552

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haha yeah same shit happened to me my first time but eventually u become pro and can unhook that crap in like 1 sec with 2 fingers.

also i sucked at putting on condoms when i used them i jus made my gf put them on for me lol she didnt mind. plus you cant really go soft while shes playing with your penis putting it on.

Last edit: 2009-07-31 08:25:08

Gliche United States. July 31 2009 08:28. Posts 806

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lol

Yes we all go through that first time, but at least you're honest. Practice makes perfect!

KT fighting~!! | Designing things is fun!

Titusmaster6 United States. July 31 2009 08:29. Posts 3356

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On July 31 2009 08:20 Rekrul wrote:
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself

So true haha. Those things are pieces of shit. The bra I mean

Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.

Clow Brazil. July 31 2009 08:32. Posts 870

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I'm sorry about your night man.
Thanks for the advice. 5/5

(–_–) CJ Entusman #33

RushWifDietCoke United States. July 31 2009 08:32. Posts 486

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1. Thumb and pointer finger on the band (in the middle where it connects obviously)around her back.
2. Pinch fingers together.

Took me a while to figure out but it's like riding a bicycle, once you learn you'll never forget.

Edit: I've evolved into a zergling finally.

Last edit: 2009-07-31 08:33:58

Nothing to it but to do it.

Mystlord

United States. July 31 2009 08:35. Posts 10257

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Lol. If you fail once, you'll continuously fail

Just give up after the first failure.

It is impossible to be a citizen if you don't make an effort to understand the most basic activities of your government. It is very difficult to thrive in an increasingly competitive world if you're a nation of doods.

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