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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On August 05 2015 08:39 LemOn wrote: so when do you guys recommend dropping the first I love you and how
Don't worry about waiting/ rushing to drop it per se. I think I dropped it when we had been together for a few months and we were cuddling and everything just felt perfect Or if you think that you'll drop it at an inappropriate time, just wait for her to say it first. This is definitely a topic that a lot of guys/ girls are overly worried about, but usually it just naturally sorts itself out. Don't worry about formally scheduling when to drop the L-word
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On August 05 2015 19:08 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote + when she's being herself
I find out she's open to sex outside and likes the taste of it in one night
Literally what! What do you mean? I would tell a girl I loved her if I actually did. I wouldn't tell her I love her because she has a certain fetish... (did I misinterpret entirely?). It doesn't matter if she doesn't say it back she just might haven't fallen for you but to wait for a specific time is dumb in my opinion. Well basically for her Bday at 10 pm I took her to the woods where's this few hundred years old lookout and I took her to the top of it, we had picnic with champagne and released flying lanterns, had sex there under the stars and afterwards she gave me this passionate BJ, swallowed and loved it and then we looked deeply in each other's eyes.
She asked me what I'm feeling right now, she saw how crazy into her I was without me saying anything and asked me to tell her the first thing that comes to my mind. Obviously saying I love you was what I was feeling strongly and what was in my mind but I stopped myself saying it BECAUSE of that stuff - I didn't want to say it for the same reason you mentioned, but in the opposite way - I love her but she doesn't need to say or do anything and I don't expect anything in return I didn't want to say it for the first time right after she's done something I like
Prolly way overthinking this lol
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On August 05 2015 19:26 LemOn wrote: passionate BJ, swallowed and then we looked deeply in each other's eyes.
I am jelly. I also think that moment wouldn't be so fun to remember HAHA. Just say it when you feel like it when you're doing something cozy. Maybe not right after she sucked your dick.
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eh genius :D- basically my last 5 essays can be summed into
"say 1st i love you right after she sucks dick - good/bad"
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On August 05 2015 19:29 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2015 19:26 LemOn wrote: passionate BJ, swallowed and then we looked deeply in each other's eyes.
I am jelly. I also think that moment wouldn't be so fun to remember HAHA. Just say it when you feel like it when you're doing something cozy. Maybe not right after she sucked your dick.
Yeah I know quite a few people would feel like saying it then would be kind of forced. Like "...thanks for that... umm... yeah I'm not doing it back to you sooooo I love you? We even?"
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Imagine telling someone how you first told her you loved her.
"Yeah so we were in the forest, then she sucked my cock, and when she swallowed I told her that I loved her."
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On August 05 2015 19:13 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2015 08:39 LemOn wrote: so when do you guys recommend dropping the first I love you and how Don't worry about waiting/ rushing to drop it per se. I think I dropped it when we had been together for a few months and we were cuddling and everything just felt perfect Or if you think that you'll drop it at an inappropriate time, just wait for her to say it first. This is definitely a topic that a lot of guys/ girls are overly worried about, but usually it just naturally sorts itself out. Don't worry about formally scheduling when to drop the L-word Yeah next time when I actually feel like saying I simply won't regulate what I say as long as it wasn't right after sexy time or something she's done
On August 05 2015 19:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2015 19:29 bloodwhore~ wrote:On August 05 2015 19:26 LemOn wrote: passionate BJ, swallowed and then we looked deeply in each other's eyes.
I am jelly. I also think that moment wouldn't be so fun to remember HAHA. Just say it when you feel like it when you're doing something cozy. Maybe not right after she sucked your dick. Yeah I know quite a few people would feel like saying it then would be kind of forced. Like "...thanks for that... umm... yeah I'm not doing it back to you sooooo I love you? We even?" Her last BF told her he loved her just to sleep with her. And then told her he's in love with her, but wants to break up, and she thinks most guys do that now. That's why I'm putting some thought into it as well and want to make it clear that I don't expect shit from her, but it's just the statement of how I feel. Again not sure if I'm overthinking this. But I do want to do things the right way with this girl
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On August 05 2015 19:38 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2015 19:13 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On August 05 2015 08:39 LemOn wrote: so when do you guys recommend dropping the first I love you and how Don't worry about waiting/ rushing to drop it per se. I think I dropped it when we had been together for a few months and we were cuddling and everything just felt perfect Or if you think that you'll drop it at an inappropriate time, just wait for her to say it first. This is definitely a topic that a lot of guys/ girls are overly worried about, but usually it just naturally sorts itself out. Don't worry about formally scheduling when to drop the L-word Yeah next time when I actually feel like saying I simply won't regulate what I say as long as it wasn't right after sexy time or something she's done Show nested quote +On August 05 2015 19:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On August 05 2015 19:29 bloodwhore~ wrote:On August 05 2015 19:26 LemOn wrote: passionate BJ, swallowed and then we looked deeply in each other's eyes.
I am jelly. I also think that moment wouldn't be so fun to remember HAHA. Just say it when you feel like it when you're doing something cozy. Maybe not right after she sucked your dick. Yeah I know quite a few people would feel like saying it then would be kind of forced. Like "...thanks for that... umm... yeah I'm not doing it back to you sooooo I love you? We even?" Her last BF told her he loved her just to sleep with her. And then told her he's in love with her, but wants to break up, and she thinks most guys do that now. That's why I'm putting some thought into it as well and want to make it clear that I don't expect shit from her, but it's just the statement of how I feel. Again not sure if I'm overthinking this. But I do want to do things the right way with this girl
That's definitely smart of you I don't think "the right time to say I love you" will make or break a relationship really. There's so much other hard work and communication and trust and chemistry that matter more, imo. Good luck!
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On August 05 2015 19:26 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2015 19:08 bloodwhore~ wrote: when she's being herself
I find out she's open to sex outside and likes the taste of it in one night
Literally what! What do you mean? I would tell a girl I loved her if I actually did. I wouldn't tell her I love her because she has a certain fetish... (did I misinterpret entirely?). It doesn't matter if she doesn't say it back she just might haven't fallen for you but to wait for a specific time is dumb in my opinion. Well basically for her Bday at 10 pm I took her to the woods where's this few hundred years old lookout and I took her to the top of it, we had picnic with champagne and released flying lanterns, had sex there under the stars and afterwards she gave me this passionate BJ, swallowed and loved it and then we looked deeply in each other's eyes. She asked me what I'm feeling right now, she saw how crazy into her I was without me saying anything and asked me to tell her the first thing that comes to my mind. Obviously saying I love you was what I was feeling strongly and what was in my mind but I stopped myself saying it BECAUSE of that stuff - I didn't want to say it for the same reason you mentioned, but in the opposite way - I love her but she doesn't need to say or do anything and I don't expect anything in return I didn't want to say it for the first time right after she's done something I like Prolly way overthinking this lol
Way overthinking it, imho. Also, your girl probably really wanted you to say it. Sounds like she was fishing for it. If you feel it, just say it (but not like Ted in HIMYM). Who really cares whether it was just after a blowjob or not.
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On August 05 2015 14:28 IgnE wrote: Real men say "I love you" first. Truth.
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On August 05 2015 21:16 farvacola wrote:Truth.
I don't think real men/ women need to worry about stepping up and preemptively saying it first... But you shouldn't be afraid to say it if you feel that way.
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And if you think the timing is bad directly after a blowjob, just wait ten minutes^^
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had sex there under the stars and afterwards she gave me this passionate BJ, swallowed and loved it and then we looked deeply in each other's eyes.
This reminded me of the Good Will Hunting joke at the bar.
She was definitely fishing for it.
If you love her tell her, but make it at least a half-hour before or after sexy time.
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Record store date went pretty nicely. She lives a bit too far away to make it work, but we had a great listening session, learned some new stuff about music, I found some great additions to my melodeath collection, and best of all after she left I looked around some more and managed to get a great deal on a Backstreet Boys album I've been looking for but never been able to find a solid copy of. So the day was well spent.
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On August 06 2015 10:27 [UoN]Sentinel wrote: Record store date went pretty nicely. She lives a bit too far away to make it work, but we had a great listening session, learned some new stuff about music, I found some great additions to my melodeath collection, and best of all after she left I looked around some more and managed to get a great deal on a Backstreet Boys album I've been looking for but never been able to find a solid copy of. So the day was well spent.
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Mmmm she lives a bit too far otherwise you'd hit it? What?
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On August 06 2015 12:36 IgnE wrote: Mmmm she lives a bit too far otherwise you'd hit it? What? Too far for anything other than skype. The record store was the halfway point of maybe a 40 mile distance between us, and on her side of the store it involves crossing state boundaries (which is tolled), so as great as she was we're both going to find someone a bit closer to home.
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What's the protocol for someone you work with?
I just started another job (my third this summer!) yesterday. I will only be at this job for a bit more than 2 weeks. There's this one really cool girl I met that may (?) have been trying to flirt with me. She asked for my snapchat and said some slightly weird things to me (bragging about hooking up with some people, lots of joking around, taking pictures/video of me secretly and sending it to other people) that could be considered flirting.
As a side note I have no idea why women think telling men about past sexual experiences is at all a turn on but she is definitely not the first to do this.
She's pretty extroverted so it's hard to tell if she actually likes me, but if so this is a time sensitive situation. How could I capitalize on this without making my work environment awkward? I'm afraid if I let her make all the moves I will run out of time
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On August 06 2015 13:40 Chocolate wrote: What's the protocol for someone you work with?
I just started another job (my third this summer!) yesterday. I will only be at this job for a bit more than 2 weeks. There's this one really cool girl I met that may (?) have been trying to flirt with me. She asked for my snapchat and said some slightly weird things to me (bragging about hooking up with some people, lots of joking around, taking pictures/video of me secretly and sending it to other people) that could be considered flirting.
Ok.
On August 06 2015 13:40 Chocolate wrote: As a side note I have no idea why women think telling men about past sexual experiences is at all a turn on but she is definitely not the first to do this.
She's not trying to impress you.
On August 06 2015 13:40 Chocolate wrote: She's pretty extroverted so it's hard to tell if she actually likes me, but if so this is a time sensitive situation. How could I capitalize on this without making my work environment awkward? I'm afraid if I let her make all the moves I will run out of time.
If you don't like her enough to risk embarrassment, then forget about it.
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I've definitely had girls do that before to try to flirt with me. I'm 100% not kidding. If I were to analyze it, I would guess they do it to both demonstrate value and make you jealous
Of course I realize that she may not be. It was also a passing comment and not like a topic of conversation or anything
By the way I don't mind embarrassment with my colleagues, I don't want HER to reject me and thus ruin my work environment whenever I am with her due to awkwardness
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