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On July 11 2017 22:25 Volband wrote:Also, I talked about this before, but I have a somewhat controversial personality. So far it went well, but I'm still afraid. The first time we started talking she nagged me with something, and my reply was a deadpan "if you want a foot in your face as soon as we meet, then sure, do that". She was a good sport, and told me she can do a menacing look, so I wouldn't hurt her, which is funny all right, but Im kinda afraid one of these remarks of mine will miss the spot. Jokes like that can be a hit or miss. I personally think it's good to show your sense of humour, and to be honest, I think it is more likely that she will understand its a joke if you say it in real than over text.
I went on a date with a nurse recently, she mentioned that she had a test with needles. Basically for draining blood etc. So I said something like "Ah that's great, then you can help me inject krokodil (Desomorphine) in my arm.". I guess she didn't know what krokodil was because she didn't think it was very funny...
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On July 11 2017 22:25 Volband wrote: Good points, good points.
Treating these dates wuth such importance probably stems from the deep yearning to have somebody. I agree that you should able to be happy on your own, but deep down the need for a partner is always there. It doesn't mean you cry in your pillow every night, but it's understandable that we get excited from even such slight chances as going out with a nice girl.
I'm kind of ashamed to mention that the book I'm reading right now is the first book of the Darth Bane trilogy (Star Wars). Again, I don't want to come across as some simpleton. No, no need for butthurt sw fans, you know what I meant.
The thing is, she will most likely be shy. Now, wouldn't that imply thatvI should goof around until she feels comfortable to open up? And that's what I meant by going hyper. I can get invested into the tiniest things and speak about them with passion, riding from one train of thought to another. Now, it can be endearing, or it can be annoying. These are the reaction I can get.
Also, I talked about this before, but I have a somewhat controversial personality. So far it went well, but I'm still afraid. The first time we started talking she nagged me with something, and my reply was a deadpan "if you want a foot in your face as soon as we meet, then sure, do that". She was a good sport, and told me she can do a menacing look, so I wouldn't hurt her, which is funny all right, but Im kinda afraid one of these remarks of mine will miss the spot.
And yes, that is pretty much all my backwind here, guys. Me being hilarious + I had a doggo on my dating app profile pic, which is not even mine. I told her it was just a chick-magnet, haha. Anyway... I dunno. We sit, we talk, and if it goes well (=i can make her laugh, join me on the goof) i can start praying she is actually attracted to me as well.
nvm, wrote a long reply and my pc crashed
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my advice, don't read this thread anymore until after the date otherwise your head could be spinning with all the different advice fighting.
good luck matey
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Yeah of course get excited that's part of the fun The thing with using your usual humour, being there to get to know her as a person instead of impressing her will actually lead to a lot of your dates will end up early , never have second dates and many women flat out rejecting you and you rejecting them.
Which is great actually as you quickly repel women not compatible in the first place and will only spend time with those attracted to you that actually like your default sense of humour .
I'm of course talking in person here , over text is so easy to misinterpret what you mean as you miss out on 90%+of communication in the form of body language and tone of voice.
And if your desire to have a partner is really that strong you will spend loads of time going on loads of dates with many women until sooner or later start seeing it's no big deal and start being yourself naturally
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tl;dr postponed to Monday, but she seems more than suspicious! Who would've known!
You remember the day when I was hesitating to ask about Wednesday? Well, I messaged her at night, but not about that initially, wanted to feel it out. I've go t positive vibes, because after responding to the silly stuff I sent to her, she actually told me she listened to the songs I sent her and gave me her opinion. Sweet, so she actually did it! Sure, disappointed she did not message me first with that (you know, just showing some initiation), but fair enough.
Tuesday I was out with a... friend? Dunno, acquiantance sounds a bit cold, but friend is somewhat pushing it. It was our first (and probably last, haha) time meeting her, and I would lie if I were to say I hadn't thought about making a move if she sends me signs. Before you judge me (and this could be title of my post), it would've meant to be a hookup, and somewhat ease my mind from that first date. I knew she was very.... umm, easygoing, so I tried my best to keep stuff in my pants, but then at night I got a message from the other girl, saying that sorry, but her landlady wants to speak with her around the time of our meeting. I was kinda furious, waited 20 minutes to reply, and told her that 'd still have time and that I don't see her mentioning any alternatives. She told me she just sent me the news asap, so I know, and she was agitated, etc., but okay, let's meet at XX:YY then.
Cool! But I already got the push from this to say "fuck this" and go for it. I could make this into another long cringe story, but I don't think it would be that entertaining. She enjoyed the attention, she definitely sent some signals (you know, when your hand is being licked you are kinda inclined to think something is up in the air), but even on the way to her apartment, she seemed... reluctant. Oh shit... I launched a full verbal offense (=I tried to swoon her into it), but she - very kindly! glod bless her heart... :D - declined. No, I did not go for a kiss, even if I could've got it, because I can't do shit with a kiss. It was midnight, it was raining as fuck and she tried to convince me to come in and sleep there, because she knew I can't get back to my place until 6 am. But I felt devastated and if I were to stay there then it would've just absolutely demolish my ego. Told her that I am REALLY-REALLY not staying, said goodbye and SHE slipped her tongue into my mouth at the end, like seriously guys, you gotta be fucking kidding with me. Wouldn't count it as a kiss though, but whatever.
So there I was, soaking in the rain, the fucking wind made it cold as well, and I had like 4+ hours to kill... tried to check in some hotels but they were full, like seriously. Walked through a bridge, took a look down understanding how a series of emotional letdowns can make someone jump. Nah, I wasn't considering it; cold, deep water in almost pitch dark, no thanks! I did weep a little though, because - I forgot to say - I was pretty damn drunk and I just had enough, like.... why did it have to rain and soak me?! Hello? I am already down, leave me alone!
Got back to 6 am, went to sleep as long as.... hmm, 2,5 hours. Did not go to my classes as I did not even have dry shoes. Well, ~8 hours till the meeting and I have nothing to do... sounds FUN! I cruise around the city operating from the very last straw of my battery. I wasn't even anxious. We talked a bit via messenger, and she randomly said something about having a sick college sitting next to her. Um, ok? An hour later she says she is not feeling well. Haha, guys, come on, hold your cringe, it will get better, only to get worse right after it! So she says it prolly won't work today, she might leave work early as well. I am trying my best to not laugh in the middle of the mall. I am trying to make it work; coming up with solutions, you know, maybe she'll feel better after a nap, dunno. "It's not an excuse. Not today; it's all I'd like to ask." Oh, completely reasonable now, right? If I'd stop at this point, you'd say I am overreacting.
Well, I wanted to test the waters hard this time. Even used the feared "date" word, just to make this shit as black and white as possible. So I asked her if we are on the same page, and if she was aware I'm not interested in the coffee, but rather in her, and that this is a date. Good as time as any to tell "Yes, I am aware. But if I say that it's not good today it's not because I don't want to go to the date. It's because I can't. But if this pisses you off, then don't pressure this [thing]." Holy shit, did she actually tell me to fuck off? Only thinking about this now that I am re-reading it. Ah, anyway, I backed out, loosened my grip (should have use this practice in other fields in my life to improve my sexual capacity, but that is another topic) and let her have this for our common good. Complained a bit about how this thing would've ran cold long ago if not for me initiating, to which she only replied with a "Next week. ". I almost let it stay at this, but then I remembered how you guys said it's important to get an EXACT date and time. So I went for it, and now we have the day and time as well.
Yay? Don't think so. The way she ditched those dates around was a bit concerning and fishy to me and I just don't fucking get why would she troll around with me if she doesn't even "use" me?! Like, I tried to initiate some convo, but they went so one way it was painful. Sure, I don't know about her habits or how she talks, etc., maybe it's normal for her, but I'm pretty sure I'm just making excuses for her. A last ditch effort from me was playfully asking for a (sick) selfie, you know, if she sends me a picture with her making some funny face or whatever the fuck then it would restore my faith a bit. The reply? "Gotta skip that request now " WOW WHAT? And I am just spiraling out of control, my (and our) last msg is an "Is that so much to ask? :D", but man, I should really stop typing anything to her, right? But how can you be like this if you want to go on that date? Makes no sense.
Told this story to a girl friend of mine, who grown to really dislike this chick, but told me she doesn't know what she is up to. Then, on a completely unrelated note we had this convo: - Oh, that guy? Yeah, she asked me to a date lol! - Wait, what?? Why didn't you tell me? - Ops, I didn't? Well, it was the other day. He asked for my name (for fbook) and asked me if I would like to grab something with him sometime and I said yes, but I did not want to. I was sweating. - So... why didn't you say no? - I don't know, but I would've probably told him via message that... actually, no, I think I would've went to the date. - WHAT? Why? - Don't know, I felt pity for him. - Wait a minute...
My mood is swingy, but I had a pretty damn good last week for example. Hell, the reason I am even talking with this girl because I felt so energized from the positive vibes that I just aced our step 0. I had no fear of this world whatsoever. It's Thursday now, and if not for the new Nine Inch Nails track released just today (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDV-dOvqKzQ) I would be a complete wreck. Now, I'm just a wreck. Thanks, Trent!
Anyway, why does this have to always come down to this? I know that side of me that I talked about in this post is quite repelling, but how about these kinds of shit not happening? Or how about not having trust issues, and thinking about all the fucking possibilities she will ditch me Sunday night, Monday noon?
"Hey! I am really sorry, I should've told you sooner... But I'm not feeling it, and it wouldn't be right to have this meeting!"
"Oh I forgot!"
"Sorry, so much work got along the way..."
I am betting 5$ on the first one. Still, I will be as flabbergasted as I am now. If you don't want to fucking do it, don't be so goddamn convincing sometimes that you actually do!
I am at the point where seeing how she was online numerous times but did not check my message making me just want to make some salty comment about it to her. Why do you want to meet with me if you don't even want to talk with me?
Dude, and then some of my friends telling me I should just fucking stop replying to her. Well, easier said than done. Some of us don't get close to the pot as often as others. Us meeting gives me hope, something to look forward to and a sense of worth. It's not where my happiness comes from, but it's a pretty damn nice thought to have. Now, here I am, starting to loathe her and just crawling back to my hole where no one has to say my long face. Like, I went to wrok out with a friend today, then meet with another in the afternoon, and while it was nice, I just hated myself for how different I was compared to when I'm happy. They understood, but still...
Oh well, see you at Sunday night or Monday I guess. No, I am not man enough to go to the date without asking her prior if it is still up, because of what happened and because if I have to read her saying she forgot I am going to check into the closest therapist asap.
I'm not always such a downer by the way, though I sure feel that way sometimes.
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Let's say it like this: The way you tell the story, your negative conclusions might feel right. But from my personal experience, and how I often have heard both sides in such stories, it feels to me like her behaviour wasn't that unusual.
And when I apply this kind of filter, I picture you as a dog and her as the leg of the postman. And that at some point she calls you out clearly for it should not come as a surprise. THe fact that she left the door still open and allows you to "reset" should actually be considered a good sign. You just have to use this reset instead of biting again and again and deeper and deeper
Seriously, when I tell something, that I'm kinda fucked up and can't come for any kind of activity we watend to do (and which I also really like) and I get bombarded again and again, why I can't come, if I couldn't come anyway, if it wouldn't be possible to maybe change it a little... Then I wouldn certainly at some point also bark back. There is nothing wrong about any of your question, but when it comes as such a stream as you described it yourself... It sometimes simply feels overwhelming. And when there is always this underlying "trust question" (Do you really know this is a date??? Let's make exact times right now for next week (so you dont ditch me again) etc) it simply gets too much. And your "Okay, so you aren't giving me shit, so I now at least demand this selfie" simply hit her in the wrong mood. And then her reaction is again quite natural.
At some point you should have accepted her decision that she felt unable to meet you that day. Asking for alternatives once or twice is completely fine and can be considered reasonable interest. But at some point it becomes obsession and the other person will feel that (s)he isnt understood or simply ignored.
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Stop being creepy as fuck.
If she doesn't cancel on you now I'd tell her she was making a terrible decision. If she were bullshitting an excuse with zero interest then what's the point in calling her out? Is that going to make her interested? And if she's not bullshitting... What's the point in calling her out? Is that fair? Is that going to keep her interest?
And if someone is uncertain about a potential date, they're not going to react well to anger, weird requests to show loyalty (wtf?), and pressure.
Next time you're in a situation like this wait until you're calm and have talked things out with someone socially aware.
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On July 14 2017 03:31 FuzzyJAM wrote: Stop being creepy as fuck.
If she doesn't cancel on you now I'd tell her she was making a terrible decision. If she were bullshitting an excuse with zero interest then what's the point in calling her out? Is that going to make her interested? And if she's not bullshitting... What's the point in calling her out? Is that fair? Is that going to keep her interest?
And if someone is uncertain about a potential date, they're not going to react well to anger, weird requests to show loyalty (wtf?), and pressure.
Next time you're in a situation like this wait until you're calm and have talked things out with someone socially aware. This is exactly what happened next [she told me that we should ditch this for she felt we were not on the same page.] I apologized - since I have no self-esteem, so it went easily for me -, she explained her absence from replying and told me she'd think about it while finally at home. We made some small talk after that and she went to do school stuff + sleep.
Yes, I am well aware I am getting the boot Sunday, no need to clarify.
But I very much disagree with the notion that it was only my creepiness that led to here. It is amazing to me how much slack girls can get. Like, how about she communicated like an adult and whenever she told me we had to postpone, she actually came up with an immediate alternative, instead of making me feel like an idiot for trying to arrange it?
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On July 14 2017 02:42 Volband wrote:
I'm not always such a downer by the way, though I sure feel that way sometimes. Another 1.5 page essay. Love that you speak your mind, but damn!
I think you honestly should be more relaxed. Just by reading how you write your story, your mind seem to be fleeting all over the place, and I can understand why it goes like this for you. I also agree with her that you were putting on unnecessary pressure. It sucks that she has cancelled multiple times, but if you do not trust her when she says she is sick then don't bother talking to her.
I also don't really think the asking for a selfie is something you want to ask, for me that would come comes off as strange. Pushing it further after she answered she doesn't want to is asking for drama.
When she responded the first time that she was sick you should just have gone "Damn, too bad. When you get better, let me know with a time and place." or something similar. Even in the end you are almost sure she will bail out on you, I don't see you having any luck if you have this little faith in her.
Why are you in such a rush? Start dating someone else as well, then you won't feel so bad if one date gets put on hold for a few days. For the love of god, do not make a salty comment if you want to see her, and do it otherwise either. She doesn't deserve it, if she doesn't respond you have most likely fucked it up with this one unfortunately.
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United Kingdom13774 Posts
There is no reason to be forgiving of flakiness. That's not a "girls can get away with this" issue, that's just you not knowing a problem when you see it.
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she did communicate as far as i can tell. you've clearly read too much into the entire affair. you've written a manifesto about all your feelings, conspiracies, and thoughts about what seems like a handful of text messages that barely amount to planning a singular date.
what should have transpired: 'sorry turns out i'm busy ugh this sucks i'm so sorry'
from here, in your own words, you're 'furious'. get the fuck over yourself and whatever problems you're having here. shit happens. you realized she didn't offer an alternative- good on you. from here what should happen:
'ah ok i'm sorry to hear that. does friday work? say 5:30?'
here's what happened: have date. get denied for whatever advances you wanted, and apparently even get a kiss for it anyway despite that not being good enough for you. decline to stay, walk around miserable and sulk. complain about it on the forums.
here's what should've happened: have a pleasant date. say your pleasant goodbyes. maybe signal yourself that you're interested in a kiss instead of being too good for it. leave with fond memories and something to look forward to.
next. here's what happened.
you confirmed you're both interested in dating each other! you mentioned she's lacking initiation. this isn't rare from either sex, so i'm sure she understood where you're coming from. then you wrote out this manifesto about how she's not good enough? start pushing her away with your neediness. ask for a selfie for what? to prove to you she's otherwise busy today and would like to politely reschedule? then you literally say you loathe her. what?
here's what should've happened: text about how great the date was. schedule next date. confirm you're both interested in dating each other! look forward to next date with fond memories of the last. end.
so from me to you- did i capture that all correctly? you're not the easiest for me to follow, not sure what it is exactly. but you'll notice in each section of 'here's what happened:' there's something a little extra going on.
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The story with the first girl wasn't a complaint, just a story with a beginning and an end. I usually tell my adventurous experiences here, it was just one of them.
As for the other girl... ah, well, while I'm explaining this I kinda understand why she did not get me either. If you don't know me, then it is indeed very hard to picture me the way I actually am. Like, disappointed should've been where I said furious, and as for the loathe thing I just wanted to tell you how my mind want to turn her to be the sole criminal here. No, I very much disagree with the notion that things were going absolutely normal and only I fucked up, but it is indeed silly to put all the blame on her - but I won't lie here that my mind would like to paint her black then white then black... And it's not an excuse like "oh, it's my brain, not me!", it's me trying to convey that I am aware that I have urges to become the "HEY, IM A NICE GUY, FUCK YOU BITCH!" guy, and even if I won't get consumed by it, it is still a shitty feeling.
Also, I write a lot, always. I got the "wow dude, chill, you care way too fucking much wtf" many times and it drives me crazy, because I write this much about everything and to everyone. I like to write or I don't know, but what's normal to me, others may seem differently.
@LegalLord: Or don't want to see it. If I don't see it, there's a hope, which is more than nothing. I saw my friend's Tinder matches and the amount of it; yeah, if I'd got that many (compared to a girl, 3-4 is many)
@bloodwhore: hah, but how on earth could I get relaxed? Yes, you snippets of these stories, and the thing you remember the most is that how I can be a petty asshole. I'm far from flawless, but some stuff are just really not fair and they get the best of me. Like this: "oh, okay, date with a pretty girl, huh, huh!!! let's do our best and hope for the best!! --> ah, she doesn't seem too chatty... well, whatever, soon we meet! or will we? ---> ah yeah, two girls actually failed to show up at dates and many others played their bs games with me. but she's different... i hope! ----> *gets text at night that tomorrow is a no go*---> okay, fake calmness and try to be reasonable ---> nice, we settled it.... i am absolutely unsure if she is just fucking with me or not, but fake the smile and let's hope it happens, then all my fears disapper! ----> oh, she has to cancel it! again! in 24 hours! without giving an alternate date! again!*
You see, up until that second time, I barely did anything. Tried to strike a conversation here and there, but did not pressure it, never asked if she will actually shows up, never ever asked if she wants to come. Two extra sentences from her part (1. "meet half an hour later, my landlady wants to speak with me" 2. "fuck, i'm really sorry. let's go for next week. monday good for you?") and that would've been pretty convincing that she cares. I think common sense is what I ask here.
Sure, you all had a peak of what's went down inside of me, but I kept it all out of her way, as I should.
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United Kingdom13774 Posts
I've been there with the "didn't want to see it" more times than I would like. Love/infatuation has a way of making you lose track of that. But deep down, you always know. The lesson I've learned over time is that you should trust your instincts on matters like this. If you have a gut feeling that someone is no good then it's probably right. For reasons that aren't always instantaneously clear.
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On July 14 2017 06:36 Volband wrote:@bloodwhore: hah, but how on earth could I get relaxed? Yes, you snippets of these stories, and the thing you remember the most is that how I can be a petty asshole. I'm far from flawless, but some stuff are just really not fair and they get the best of me. Like this: "oh, okay, date with a pretty girl, huh, huh!!! let's do our best and hope for the best!! --> ah, she doesn't seem too chatty... well, whatever, soon we meet! or will we? ---> ah yeah, two girls actually failed to show up at dates and many others played their bs games with me. but she's different... i hope! ----> *gets text at night that tomorrow is a no go*---> okay, fake calmness and try to be reasonable ---> nice, we settled it.... i am absolutely unsure if she is just fucking with me or not, but fake the smile and let's hope it happens, then all my fears disapper! ----> oh, she has to cancel it! again! in 24 hours! without giving an alternate date! again!*
You see, up until that second time, I barely did anything. Tried to strike a conversation here and there, but did not pressure it, never asked if she will actually shows up, never ever asked if she wants to come. Two extra sentences from her part (1. "meet half an hour later, my landlady wants to speak with me" 2. "fuck, i'm really sorry. let's go for next week. monday good for you?") and that would've been pretty convincing that she cares. I think common sense is what I ask here.
Sure, you all had a peak of what's went down inside of me, but I kept it all out of her way, as I should. I'm not saying it's always easy to relax. I'm also perfectly aware that nobody is flawless, and I don't think you're a petty asshole. I obviously don't get the whole picture since I don't know all the facts other than what you write. However, what you write makes you come across as one who is slightly desperate for a date. I get that you got turned down multiple times, that is annoying as fuck.
Since I personally would never agree to something I knew I wasn't 100% sure I would see through I would love if you could go "Wtf, why did you book a date with me if you were not 100% that you were going to make it?". But saying stuff like that will just make you sound angry and she gets a fucking amazing reason for not going on the date if she had any doubts from the beginning.
You say you kept it all out of her, but from what I've read I dont agree. Correct me if I'm wrong. But it went something like this:
1. You had planned a date on day X. 2. She sent text saying landlord wanted to speak. She then says she can't come. 3. You say something 4. She confirms she was sick and that she cant make it to the date but she does want to go on a date. 5. You "test the water" once again and this time she is a bit pissed off. 6. You then want her to send a selfie. -> Here is where I think it went horribly wrong. She has basically already told you twice that she can't make it but would like to meet you another day. In my eyes asking for the selfie is you wanting some sort of guarantee that she is still interested, basically making her confirm that she wants to go on a date with you, again.
I could be misinterpreting what you are saying but with these points I don't think it's hard to deny that she is getting tired of you. Furthermore, you also have to remember that you can't pin stuff other girls have done on her. For all she knows, nobody has ever cancelled a date on you before.
edit: added word in #1
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United Kingdom13774 Posts
My experience is that flakiness is probably a killer, but you should still be nice about it. Calling them out on it won't do anything productive.
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i'm sorry i might've completely misunderstood your story then.
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@brian: two different girls, mate! I met one Tuesday night and my date was scheduled to Wednesday afternoot with the other one. The first one was not a date, but when I got the message from the other girl I just went for it: go big or go home. Or in my case, be homeless for 5 hours. If anything, those guys gained my respect.
@LL: I guess that is being the better man. I am pretty far from that, as I clinge to every hope. You can bet your bottom that I will still fantasize about what if she actually says yes on Sunday. I don't think there was any girl in history who did not use the "let me think" line to just drop someone's ass. But then again, it's all I have. That and the thoughts of "why". I can't even say it is because of my looks, because they barely or not even came into the picture, it was all me. I'm just not sure what about me is so non-desireable that turns girls into flaky people. The biggest lie I could tell myself is that it's just some unlucky coincidence.
@bloodwhore:
1. We had planned a date on day X. 2. She sent text saying landlord wanted to speak. She then says she can't come. 3. I tell her I don't now what now and that I would still have time that day. 4. She tells me that it's true, apologizes and move the date to a later time that day. 5. She tells me she got in contact with people who had stomach-ache or something. (this is the biggest X-file here by the way... how do you get sick in one hour? is that actually possible?) 6. She tells me she is sick but she took a pill. 7. I ask her what now. 8. She tells me she wouldn't want to infect me and I'd surely not want to see her being all tired. 9. I tell her I don't mind either. This is where I had enough start lowkey accusing her; asking her if she might be anxious about the meeting or if she wants to meet at all. 10. She gets defensive. 11. I tell her that I just don't get what is going on. 12. She tells me to just have patiance. 13. I give in. We reschedule to next Monday with an exact time and place. 14. Next day (=today) I try to strike up a conversation because I am quite afraid of things going badly and I desperately need some positive feedback from her. It dragged along more or less, then she said she has to take a nap. 15. I make a remark how I thought it's me who has sleeping issues - with smileys and what not, to not make it serious. (because taking a nap has came up about 3 times during our convos) 16. She tells me she is like this when she's sick. 17. I end the convo. 18. My brain went on. "It's not going, good Volband! We are losing her for sure. Wait, I have an idea! Ask her for a selfie! Everyone makes selfies in 2k17, and it might just show that she hadn't shut down every door from you!" 19. ~2 hours after my last message I tell her that she could send me a selfie. 20. ~3 hours later she replies with a deny.
Yes, from point 9. I started melting down, but up until then I barely showed even my excitement, let alone my fears.
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If a girl seems to be being flaky, what possible benefit is there from getting angry at her?
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And this, gentlemen, is why you tell a guy like Volband to just shut the fuck up as much as possible and to play it cool. The guy has no filter.
Frankly Volband, seeing as how you are a raging maelstrom of insecurity, anxiety, and self loathing I don't think you are jn a position to date ANYONE seriously. You won't make a good partner to anyone if you can't be happy with yourself.
But for the sake of exercise let me mull out for you what you do next time a girl cancels or is flaky: Her: I dont think I can make it tonight. You: oh thats too bad. Her: Sorry You: no worries. Another time perhaps.
Aaaand done. If she wants to reschedule she'll do it. Otherwise just leave it at that.
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On July 14 2017 13:33 B.I.G. wrote: And this, gentlemen, is why you tell a guy like Volband to just shut the fuck up as much as possible and to play it cool. The guy has no filter.
Frankly Volband, seeing as how you are a raging maelstrom of insecurity, anxiety, and self loathing I don't think you are jn a position to date ANYONE seriously. You won't make a good partner to anyone if you can't be happy with yourself.
But for the sake of exercise let me mull out for you what you do next time a girl cancels or is flaky: Her: I dont think I can make it tonight. You: oh thats too bad. Her: Sorry You: no worries. Another time perhaps.
Aaaand done. If she wants to reschedule she'll do it. Otherwise just leave it at that. A bit harsh, but I agree on a lot of this stuff. Trying to reschedule once is fine though. There's this really dumb mentality where "playing it cool" and looking like you're fine with whatever is a good thing, but trying to set something up because you want to isn't a problem. Push too hard though and yeah, it's annoying to the other person, as they also have lives and shit going on.
And seriously, if someone seems like they have a generally flaky attitude, just get away from that person. They're on average fucking awful people. Like, let's say this does end up being a good date on Sunday. Is this going to happen all the time? Even someone with no anxiety about this shit would get annoyed.
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