 Chibi[OWNS] United Kingdom. May 10 2004 16:34. Posts 10598 | Profile |
Yeah, we've had some great jokes and racist jokes topics  But here's your chance to let us know you top one or two favourite jokes of all time! I'm pretty lame at jokes myself, although the 'shit onna stick' one always stayed with me
Print your own jokes too if you like, completely original ones.
Here's mine:
How do you know if the girl is ready for sex?
Check that the ropes are secure
Bwahahaha okay, over to you 
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| | IF YOU DONT THINK IM COOL THEN LEAVE THE TABLE |
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 sCv[AfO] May 10 2004 17:14. Posts 17 | Profile |
| how u tell if a black woman is pregnant? bend her over a watermelon and when she stands up if they're are teeth marks on the watermelon then she's pregnant. |
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| sCv[AfO] May 10 2004 17:16. Posts 17 | Profile |
| 3 guys are stranded on an island and they have to shove fruits up there ass without laughing or crying or they are eaten by canibles. The first guy shoves 2 oranges up his ass and he cries. They kill him. 2nd guy shoves 2 cherries up his ass and he laughs, they kill him. 1st guy in heaven says why did u laugh, he said, poor fellow the 3rd one, i saw him picking up pineapples. |
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| GoDHovZ United States. May 10 2004 17:16. Posts 1869 | Profile | |
| | My skill trancends BW, it is recognized by the billions..... AND BILLIONS of people around the world as nirvana |
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| sCv[AfO] May 10 2004 17:20. Posts 17 | Profile |
| they was a bartender raising money to shut his horse up and a guy comes in and asks what its for, the bartender says i have a horse out back who wont stfu naying all the time. The guy walks in in the back and whipsers something in the horses ear and it starts lauging. Next time the guy walks in and another jar is raised. He said whats that for he said the horse wont stfu laughing. He walked out came back in and the horse was laughing. Bartenders says how did u do it, guy says first time i told him my dick was bigger then his, 2nd time i showed him |
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| LaZyFoO Canada. May 10 2004 17:20. Posts 76 | Profile |
| agreed. Last edit: 2004-05-10 17:22:03 |
| | Dont hate ......participate |
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| sCv[AfO] May 10 2004 17:24. Posts 17 | Profile |
| 3 travelers come along and have to stay with a stranger who had 30 daughters. the strager who was a farmer said now ull live if u dont mess with my daughters. The next morning the travlers had sex with all the daughters and the farmer said boys come now. they followed him out to a log. He says pull ur peter out on the logs. they do as he says. he asked the first one what does ur dad do. he said hes a lumberjack, so the farmer cuts it off with a chainsaw. he asked the next one what does ur daddy do? he said he was a butcher, so he chops it off with a meat cleaver. Now the 3rd one is rolling on ground laughing, Farmer gets serious he said whats so fcking funny? he said my daddy makes lolly pops ur gonna have to suck mine off. |
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| sCv[AfO] May 10 2004 17:24. Posts 17 | Profile |
| ok ok ill stfu i got more but they sux =P |
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 TheSileNceSinGs Canada. May 10 2004 17:26. Posts 288 | Profile |
| You have worse ones than those? |
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| sCv[AfO] May 10 2004 17:27. Posts 17 | Profile |
| nah it seems no1 likes them so ill stfu |
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 DarkGhost]Coon[ Armenia. May 10 2004 17:30. Posts 1469 | Profile |
Why are black people tall?
They're knee-grows!
Haha.Ha. -_-; |
| | Common sense is not so common. |
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| GoSexyPerli United States. May 10 2004 17:30. Posts 1072 | Profile | |
| | My whole existence is flawed. |
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| sCv[AfO] May 10 2004 17:34. Posts 17 | Profile | |
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| sCv[AfO] May 10 2004 17:34. Posts 17 | Profile |
Three men, an American, a Russian, and a Puerto Rican, are standing on a bridge. The Russian removes a bottle of vodka from his coat, takes a sip, and then throws the bottle over the bridge.
The Puerto Rican asks, "Why did you do that? That was perfectly good bottle of vodka!"
The Russian replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."
The Puerto Rican doesn't want to be upstaged, so he removes a joint from his pocket, takes a long puff, and then throws the rest of it over the bridge.
The American exclaims, "Hey! What the hell did you do that for? That was a perfectly good joint!"
The Puerto Rican replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."
Now, the American doesn't want to be upstaged, so he searches through his pockets but he can't find anything. He looks around for a moment, then grabs the Puerto Rican and throws him over the bridge.
The Russian exclaims, "What the hell did you do that for?"
The American replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from." |
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| sCv[AfO] May 10 2004 17:35. Posts 17 | Profile |
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!" |
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| DarkGhost]Coon[ Armenia. May 10 2004 17:36. Posts 1469 | Profile |
Wow that's an old one. I know like 5 variations of it. ;D
Edit: Wtf, are you on a website or something?? You just keep posting more and more...Last edit: 2004-05-10 17:37:11 |
| | Common sense is not so common. |
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 x[ReaPeR]x United States. May 10 2004 17:38. Posts 3447 | Profile |
Why are black people good at basketball?
They can run, shoot, and steal. |
| | ILoveOOv ownZ everyone!!! ~ Lamer List: Mynock, naventus |
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| GoSexyPerli United States. May 10 2004 17:38. Posts 1072 | Profile | |
| | My whole existence is flawed. |
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 ReBanned May 10 2004 17:39. Posts 1929 | Profile |
3 Sailers crash onto an island and are capture by a tribe of natives. They are taken to the chief are given two options, UngaBunga or Death.
The first guy says "Theres nothing worse than death, UngaBunga" the chief stands up and says "UngaBunga!" and 10 warriors come over and fuck the guy in the ass.
The 2nd guy says "I'd rather die than have to do that, Death" The Chief stands up and says "Death!" A warrior goes over to the man and cuts his head off.
The third guy says "I don't think I can take it either, Death" the Chief stands up and says "Death... by UngaBunga"
Thats a classic jokeLast edit: 2004-05-10 17:41:16 |
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| Chibi[OWNS] United Kingdom. May 10 2004 17:52. Posts 10598 | Profile |
i think i'm better off with my owns jokes in that other thread
anyone got non-racist 2 liners that can be texted, for example, say, to a girl?
t.t |
| | IF YOU DONT THINK IM COOL THEN LEAVE THE TABLE |
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| Chibi[OWNS] United Kingdom. May 10 2004 17:54. Posts 10598 | Profile |
Q. Do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.
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| | IF YOU DONT THINK IM COOL THEN LEAVE THE TABLE |
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| GoSexyPerli United States. May 10 2004 18:09. Posts 1072 | Profile | |
| | My whole existence is flawed. |
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| Niv)Mutal United States. May 10 2004 18:12. Posts 65 | Profile |
On May 10 2004 17:54 Chibi[OWNS] wrote:
Q. Do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.
gosu :D |
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| Niv)Mutal United States. May 10 2004 18:15. Posts 65 | Profile |
Whats faster than a speeding bullet? A jew with a coupon.
Why do you never run over a mexican on a bike? It may be your bike.
Who is the best jewish cook? Hitler.
Why does mexico not have an olympic team? Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border. |
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| Chibi[OWNS] United Kingdom. May 10 2004 18:16. Posts 10598 | Profile |
[QUOTE]On May 10 2004 18:15 Niv)Mutal wrote:
Who is the best jewish cook? Hitler.
[QUOTE]
gosu ;D |
| | IF YOU DONT THINK IM COOL THEN LEAVE THE TABLE |
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| tAi May 10 2004 19:08. Posts 78 | Profile |
Whats the difference between a Jew and Pizza ??
When you put the pizza in the oven , it doesn't SCREAM.
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| Dang-it United States. May 10 2004 19:20. Posts 557 | Profile |
3 guys were in a car their names were shit, stupid, and ass. One day they were pissing on a hill, and then shit fell down the mountain
stupid later followed him and ass stayed on top of the hill. five minutes later a cop comes along and asked ass are you stupid? and ass replies
no stupids down there picking up shit  |
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| TheSileNceSinGs Canada. May 10 2004 19:23. Posts 288 | Profile |
Whats the difference between nigers and pizza?
A pizza can feed it's family. |
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| Dang-it United States. May 10 2004 19:29. Posts 557 | Profile |
its always time for the old ones
why are chinese people and black people afraid to ride rollercoasters?
because when it goes up it says chink chink chink chink and down,... nigger nigger nigger nigger (say em fast ) |
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| wtfwjd United States. May 10 2004 20:23. Posts 226 | Profile |
Two big, fat, greasy nigger bitches are at the zoo. These are some big buffarilla type women. So they go to the monkey section where the sign says, "Don't feed the gorilla." But the one woman tries to feed the big silverback a bannana anyway. Well, the huge gorilla walks over, bends the bars apart, grabs the nigger woman inside the cage, and beats the shit out of her and commences to raping her in the ass. It takes the zoo keepers 20 minutes to make the gorilla let go of her. They were spraying it with a fire hose, hitting it with sticks, finally they shot it with about 5 tranquilizers. So the one nigger woman goes to visit her friend in the hospital, and she is fucked up. Swollen eyes, missing teeth, hair all torn out, and as soon as she sees her friend she breaks out crying and sobbing. "There, there honey," says her friend, comforting her and holding her, "We are gonna get you through this and you are gonna be jus' fine, honey." "I know, I know," says the first one, "But he don't call and he don't write and he don't come visit....."
every racist joke ever
http://panzerfaust.com/niggerjokes_1.shtml |
| | The magnitude of your illegitimate rise will parallel that of your fall |
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| exalted United States. May 10 2004 20:37. Posts 3278 | Profile Blog | |
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| Dick United States. May 10 2004 20:53. Posts 717 | Profile |
a niger and puerto rican ride on a car, who's driving ?
the police |
| | Boxer will be in the US on the 16th - perhaps to give advice to South Korean President Roh, who is on state visit to the US this week, on how to handle any surprise tank pushes by North Koreans |
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| eatwasabi United States. May 10 2004 20:55. Posts 47 | Profile |
What do you call the useless skin around the vagina?
The women
This joke had me dying on the floor for 5 minute. |
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 mmm.beer Canada. May 10 2004 21:09. Posts 412 | Profile |
tasteless:
how do you know if your sister's pregnant?
Your dad's dick tastes funny. |
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 Klogon US of A. May 10 2004 21:13. Posts 12421 | Profile Blog |
| "I'm not a racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people." |
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 Meta United States. May 10 2004 21:47. Posts 3925 | Profile Blog | |
| | Your thought merely reflects surface meaning of an action, you need to thinking deeper, think all possible reasons. - ilovehnk |
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| Niv)Mutal United States. May 10 2004 22:51. Posts 65 | Profile |
What do you call a jew in the ocean? Polution.
What do you call 10,000 jews in the ocean? Solution. |
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 Amnesty United States. May 10 2004 23:01. Posts 1889 | Profile |
Knock knock
Who's there?
Jehovah's Witnesses.
...
Knock knock
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| | The sky just is, and goes on and on; and we play all our BW games beneath it. |
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 ebba Australia. May 10 2004 23:03. Posts 63 | Profile |
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes already been told twice. |
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 no1important May 10 2004 23:06. Posts 557 | Profile |
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass |
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 baal May 11 2004 00:21. Posts 10329 | Profile |
On May 10 2004 20:55 eatwasabi wrote:
What do you call the useless skin around the vagina?
The women
This joke had me dying on the floor for 5 minute.
lmfao definitely the best of the thread ^__^ |
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| HH_Phildar May 11 2004 01:24. Posts 13 | Profile |
Why is there no swimming pool in Cuba?
because all cuban people who know how to swim are already settled in Florida
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| | It s nice to be important, but it s more important to be nice |
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| Faith Norway. May 11 2004 01:29. Posts 88 | Profile |
best joke i know is
Hovz |
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 Dirk United States. May 11 2004 02:47. Posts 1339 | Profile |
Oh, I remember this thread. Copy paste will do just find here.
What does NASCAR stand for?
Non-Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks
What do you call 28 rednecks in the same room?
Answer:A full set of teeth!!
You're a redneck if .... Your sister's education goal is to get out of highschool before she gets pregnant.
You might be a redneck if you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
KICK HIS SISTER IN THE CHIN
What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?
The front row of a garth brooks concert.
A ventriloquist was making fun of rednecks with his dummy at a bar. Then an angry redneck stood up, rolled up his sleeves ,and yelled, "I resent that!"
The ventriloquist started apologizing to the redreck.
The redneck looked at him and said, " You stay outta this, I''m talking to the guy on your lap!!!!
You know your a redneck if you go to a family reunion looking for a girlfriend.
You know you're a redneck when you have an assigned day to wear the family tooth.
What does a white woman and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts.
How did the West Virginian mom know when her daughter was on the rag?
Her son's dick tasted funny.
What do you call the moisture between two white people having sex?
Relative Humidity.
What do u call a caption wafer in the toilet?
A soft azz cracker
Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.
How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?
None, white girls can't screw
What did the white girl say to the black guy?
Nothing, she couldnt talk with a 12 inch dick down her throat.
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| | Dont confuse me wit these suckas... cuz when I spit, you here more OOOs than a skip to my lou move.. at the ruckers - Lloyd Banks |
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| baal May 11 2004 03:17. Posts 10329 | Profile |
What do you call the moisture between two white people having sex?
Relative Humidity.
didnt get that one -.- (maybe i did if it was the worst joke ever)
Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.
I'd swar you made that attempt of joke by yourself omfg! that is lame. |
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| BlazeD Canada. May 11 2004 03:21. Posts 236 | Profile |
wut do u say when ur t.v starts floating at night?
drop it nigger! |
| | goin down around here nigga, get ur motherfuckin head bust, them motherfuckin street lights go out, them real niggerz come out, all the bitch niggerz go in the house, shit is not a game man, dont fuck around n lose ur brain - young buck |
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 Yuljan Germany. May 11 2004 03:44. Posts 1440 | Profile |
On May 10 2004 20:23 wtfwjd wrote: Two big, fat, greasy nigger bitches are at the zoo. These are some big buffarilla type women. So they go to the monkey section where the sign says, "Don't feed the gorilla." But the one woman tries to feed the big silverback a bannana anyway. Well, the huge gorilla walks over, bends the bars apart, grabs the nigger woman inside the cage, and beats the shit out of her and commences to raping her in the ass. It takes the zoo keepers 20 minutes to make the gorilla let go of her. They were spraying it with a fire hose, hitting it with sticks, finally they shot it with about 5 tranquilizers. So the one nigger woman goes to visit her friend in the hospital, and she is fucked up. Swollen eyes, missing teeth, hair all torn out, and as soon as she sees her friend she breaks out crying and sobbing. "There, there honey," says her friend, comforting her and holding her, "We are gonna get you through this and you are gonna be jus' fine, honey." "I know, I know," says the first one, "But he don't call and he don't write and he don't come visit....." every racist joke ever http://panzerfaust.com/niggerjokes_1.shtml
Not even one funny joke there... |
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 0x64 Finland. May 11 2004 03:48. Posts 2864 | Profile |
2 gays got stuck in a tropical island.
"okay we have solved our basic problems, we needed food: we eat fruits and kill little poor animals. we needed a place, we build a cottage. Now we need to solve the probleme of sex, who will have the pleasure to be the girl?"
And the other suggest:
"Ok, I ask a question and if you can't answer, you are the woman..
what has 4 legs and barks?"
"I dont know, a crocodile?"
"How did you guess!"
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| | Life is short and death is tall |
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| TLKiD China. May 11 2004 03:55. Posts 1136 | Profile |
On May 10 2004 18:15 Niv)Mutal wrote:
Whats faster than a speeding bullet? A jew with a coupon.
Why do you never run over a mexican on a bike? It may be your bike.
Who is the best jewish cook? Hitler.
Why does mexico not have an olympic team? Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.
Why does mexico not have an olympic team? Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.[/QUOTE]
rofl...Last edit: 2004-05-11 03:56:07 |
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| TLKiD China. May 11 2004 03:57. Posts 1136 | Profile |
On May 10 2004 19:20 Dang-it wrote: 3 guys were in a car their names were shit, stupid, and ass. One day they were pissing on a hill, and then shit fell down the mountain stupid later followed him and ass stayed on top of the hill. five minutes later a cop comes along and asked ass are you stupid? and ass replies no stupids down there picking up shit
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... |
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 MPXMX Canada. May 11 2004 04:30. Posts 4307 | Profile |
| I remember the last time there was a thread like this, somebody posted a 3-4-page or so joke and everyone laughed their ass off... I should dig it up or something.. |
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| Dirk United States. May 11 2004 04:36. Posts 1339 | Profile |
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What do you call the moisture between two white people having sex?
Relative Humidity.
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didnt get that one -.- (maybe i did if it was the worst joke ever)
If you didnt get it then it just means you're an idiot. Ever think of of what else the word relative could mean there? rofl moron
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| | Dont confuse me wit these suckas... cuz when I spit, you here more OOOs than a skip to my lou move.. at the ruckers - Lloyd Banks |
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| Dirk United States. May 11 2004 04:37. Posts 1339 | Profile |
And I didnt make up any of those, copy/paste buddy, thx  |
| | Dont confuse me wit these suckas... cuz when I spit, you here more OOOs than a skip to my lou move.. at the ruckers - Lloyd Banks |
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| sCv[AfO] May 11 2004 09:14. Posts 17 | Profile |
| sure, u tell a girl to come with one finger know what i mean like come here, then tell her if i can make u cum with 1 finger imagine what i can do with all 5? |
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| sCv[AfO] May 11 2004 09:15. Posts 17 | Profile |
| what do u call a blonde with pig tails? blow job with handle bars |
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| sCv[AfO] May 11 2004 09:16. Posts 17 | Profile |
| u know the differnece between womens and cows? when u rub womens tits they dont sit... |
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| sCv[AfO] May 11 2004 09:19. Posts 17 | Profile |
whats difference between a mexican and picnic table? picnic table can support a family
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| sCv[AfO] May 11 2004 09:20. Posts 17 | Profile |
| hey im not racist i own a color TV |
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| sCv[AfO] May 11 2004 09:20. Posts 17 | Profile |
| what does NAACP stand for? Now Apes are called people.. |
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| sCv[AfO] May 11 2004 09:25. Posts 17 | Profile |
what u call 2 black people having sex? OREOS!!
i realize im taking up too much fcking room ill put the ones i know on one page.
what do u do when u see a black man dying from a gun shot? stop laughing and reload.
What happened when the blonde was almost drug to death by the horse? the walmart manager came out and unplugged the horse (if u dont get it ur stupid)
what do u call 3 black people hanging from a tree? sothern wind chimes.
how do u starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his workboots(oldy but a goldy)
how do u fit 57 jews in a car? throw in a quater.
son once asked mom if he was more jew or black, mom said she didnt know and asked why? he said billy wants to sell me a bike for 25$ i dont know to ask for him to go down to 15$ or steal the damn thing.
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| sCv[AfO] May 11 2004 09:34. Posts 17 | Profile |
ahh jokes about women eh?
how do u turn a dishwasher into a snow blower? Get the b!tch a shovel!
What do u tell a girl with 2 black eyes? you shouldnt have to tell her any thing she done been told twice!!
why are over 3 million women abused each year? THEY WONT FCKING LISTEN!!
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 choboPEon United States. May 11 2004 09:51. Posts 5151 | Profile Blog |
On May 11 2004 09:34 sCv[AfO] wrote:
ahh jokes about women eh?
how do u turn a dishwasher into a snow blower? Get the b!tch a shovel!
What do u tell a girl with 2 black eyes? you shouldnt have to tell her any thing she done been told twice!!
why are over 3 million women abused each year? THEY WONT FCKING LISTEN!!
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 WhizKid77 China. May 11 2004 10:20. Posts 678 | Profile |
What did Hitler say to the black jew?
Get in the back of the oven! |
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| ShAsTa Belgium. May 11 2004 10:28. Posts 2437 | Profile |
I remember last time in such a thread there were baby jokes involved and some people couldn't stand that. Someone got banned I think.
So can we post babyjokes?
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| | If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. |
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| FreeZEternal Korea (South). May 11 2004 10:30. Posts 3005 | Profile |
| babyjokes? i never saw babyjokes~~ |
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| Chibi[OWNS] United Kingdom. May 11 2004 10:44. Posts 10598 | Profile |
| mm this thread was for your top one or two jokes ever, not for pasting jokes from other week-old threads -.-; |
| | IF YOU DONT THINK IM COOL THEN LEAVE THE TABLE |
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| taeWook United States. May 11 2004 10:44. Posts 1366 | Profile |
| We come into this world out of a woman, and spend the rest of our lives trying to get back inside. |
| | keep your friends close but your enemies closer. |
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 distant_voice Germany. May 11 2004 10:45. Posts 2183 | Profile Blog |
| This is the dumbest thread on teamliquid EVER. |
| | This is my truth, tell me yours! |
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| NonY United States. May 11 2004 11:20. Posts 2814 | Profile |
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper
What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.
What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with slashed floaties.
What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
The same baby three weeks later.
What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool?
Floaties with a slashed baby.Last edit: 2004-05-11 11:21:05 |
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| Eniram Sudan. May 11 2004 12:38. Posts 3163 | Profile Blog |
On May 10 2004 21:13 Klogon wrote:
"I'm not a racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people."
This is the only joke that got me to laugh -_- |
| | You can like take a newb to like water, but you cant like make a newb drink. Ya know? - Jeremy |
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| FreeZEternal Korea (South). May 11 2004 12:39. Posts 3005 | Profile |
On May 11 2004 11:20 NonY wrote:
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper
What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.
What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with slashed floaties.
What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
The same baby three weeks later.
What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool?
Floaties with a slashed baby.
Jesus-_-;;; |
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| Nihil_isT Czech Republic. May 11 2004 13:46. Posts 125 | Profile |
There was a bomb attack in a department store and people are lying on the ground screaming...
An ambullance arrives and doctors are tending only the white people...
One wounded nigger crawling on the floor askes one of the doctors: "Why do you help only the white people?"
D: Do you see our car over there?
N: I do...
D: What's it's colour?
N: White...
D: So be patient and wait for your own one... |
| | Life is just a dream, you know... |
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| tAi May 11 2004 13:46. Posts 78 | Profile |
On May 10 2004 22:51 Niv)Mutal wrote:
What do you call a jew in the ocean? Polution.
What do you call 10,000 jews in the ocean? Solution.
LOL |
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 Day[9] United States. May 11 2004 13:59. Posts 6304 | Profile Blog |
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves ?
-Christopher Walken
:O |
| | Whenever I encounter some little hitch, or some of my orbs get out of orbit, nothing pleases me so much as to make the crooked straight and crush down uneven places |
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| Niv)Mutal United States. May 11 2004 14:51. Posts 65 | Profile |
| So there was a blonde, brunette, and redhead. They were stuck on an island, and suddenly found a bottle lying on the ground. A genie came out of the bottle and said "I'll give u all 1 wish." The Brunettee said "I wish I could get out of here," and her wish was granted. The redhead said "I wish I could get out of here too," and her wish was granted. Then the blonde said "I wish my friends would come back." |
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| Niv)Mutal United States. May 11 2004 14:52. Posts 65 | Profile |
Whats better than 10 dead babies in a trashcan?
1 dead baby in 10 trashcans. |
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| Niv)Mutal United States. May 11 2004 14:54. Posts 65 | Profile |
What do you call a black preist? Holy shit.
Why did the blonde get mad? She found a latex in her purse but couldn't find her pencil.
What does a blonde say after sex? Thanks guys. |
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| 0_0 United States. May 11 2004 15:05. Posts 2090 | Profile |
Racist Chinese joke
There were 2 Chinese guys, 1 Japanese guy, and a pilot on an airplane. Halfway thru the flight the pilot says "shit I'm losing altitude, we have to get rid of all the useless stuff." So they throw out all the stuff thats not vital...
5 min later
P: still losing altitude, one of u guys is gonna have to jump out.
C1: I'm willing to die an honorable death in order to save the lives of the other human beings on this plane. *jumps out*
5 min later
P: uh, still losing altitude. Another one of u guys jump.
C2: I'm also willing to follow the example set by my chinese brother. *jumps out*
5 min later
P: Um, sorry its still losing altitude, you're gonna have to jump.
J: er, ok I'll jump. *Jumps out*
Under the plane
C1+2: That fuckin dumbass Japper, he actually jumped. *hanging onto the bottom of the plane* |
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| Dang-it United States. May 11 2004 15:19. Posts 557 | Profile |
what does fubu stand for?
farmers used to beat us |
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| SS-guy United States. May 11 2004 15:38. Posts 1427 | Profile |
On May 10 2004 17:52 Chibi[OWNS] wrote: i think i'm better off with my owns jokes in that other thread anyone got non-racist 2 liners that can be texted, for example, say, to a girl? t.t
ur like a can of pringles...
once i pop you i cant stop you
if you were a car door, id slam you all night long |
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| Dang-it United States. May 11 2004 15:48. Posts 557 | Profile |
| if you were a boooger i would pick you haha |
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| GoSexyPerli United States. May 11 2004 15:56. Posts 1072 | Profile | |
| | My whole existence is flawed. |
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| hunterAS United States. May 11 2004 15:58. Posts 408 | Profile |
what is so funny about dead baby jokes I think its stupid heres a funny joke kk thx.
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way. My friends encouraged me. And my girlfriend? She was a
dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was
near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me
that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it
just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front
door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and
said,
"We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
The moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car. |
| | 14% of all people know that statisics are all wrong. |
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| beanmachine United States. May 11 2004 16:00. Posts 115 | Profile | |
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| GoSexyPerli United States. May 11 2004 16:01. Posts 1072 | Profile | |
| | My whole existence is flawed. |
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| Chibi[OWNS] United Kingdom. May 11 2004 16:01. Posts 10598 | Profile |
On May 11 2004 15:38 SS-guy wrote:
if you were a car door, id slam you all night long
haha now that ones good |
| | IF YOU DONT THINK IM COOL THEN LEAVE THE TABLE |
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| Chibi[OWNS] United Kingdom. May 11 2004 16:04. Posts 10598 | Profile |
here's something funny
completely accidental if you can believe it, i forgot to add a keynode in flash and when i clicked on the timebar this was the first thing i saw
http://valkyr.pgpl.net/users/Chibi/elephantlmao.JPG
that's the trunk of an elephant in another scene |
| | IF YOU DONT THINK IM COOL THEN LEAVE THE TABLE |
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| mensrea Korea (South). May 11 2004 23:20. Posts 4936 | Profile |
This thread has got to be one of the most suffocatingly senseless threads ever. I don't know how it was ever left alone for so long.
These jokes are not funny. The only joke even remotely in the same dimension as funny is Klogon's. |
| | actus non facit reum, nisi mens sit rea. |
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