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Don't post in this thread to say "gay gamers are like everyone else, why do they have a special thread?" It is something that has been posted numerous times, and this isn't the place for that discussion.
For regular posters, don't quote the trolls. | Nyarly France. June 12 2012 16:04. Posts 847 | Profile Blog # |
On June 12 2012 09:11 Silverfoxx wrote:
Show nested quote +On June 12 2012 06:53 Nyarly wrote:
Hm, some questions that might have been asked before but I cba to read the last 300 pages :/
When/how did you felt ready to announce to your IRL friends/family that you were gay?
Why did you do it ? (why do you want people to know you're gay)
And would you say being gay is an important part of your personality ?
Changes from person to person for most answers, but i haven't posted in this thread in forever. Built up to the moment where i was first going to tell somebody in constant fear of becoming something wrong in their eyes (silly fear given my friends to be honest.) I finally did it because, well, you can only be in fear of something so long and it needed to be done. Why did I do it? Because telling people is a smaller shock than them finding out when your boyfriend comes to visit or they see you kissing another guy in a photo, hugging people way too much, etc. etc. I want people to know i'm gay only because otherwise i'm assumed straight, and it's an assumption that's false. (Seriously, I am like the most non-flamboyant non-gay sounding gay guy i've ever heard. and the only reason people assumed I was gay was because I never looked for a girlfriend while going to college.) Being gay isn't an important part of my personality at all. I'm going to be going to a new school soon and the first thing im going to tell my roommate is "Hey, i'm 22, previously been to school, gay, and a HUUUUUGE nerd who will probably be in the room or the library the whole time. Hope that's not a problem." Being gay isn't an important part of the personality that makes who I am, but I will say it's an important part of me. Makes me who I am and all that. Edit: I gotta say I still feel silly trying to claim there is still a thing as a "gay sounding" or "gay looking" guy. I dunno. There are probably little tip-offs here and there, but i failed to see any of them in myself that i see in other gay guys.
Thank you !
I liked your answers, i can understand why people prefer to know.
If i may add another one : do you sometimes regret you did it?
The main reason why i don't say i'm gay is because i think they'll start acting weird. I mean i do LANs all the time and i usually sleep in a bed with 3-4 guys after we're finished. If they knew i was gay, maybe they wouldn't let me sleep in the bed (which would be stupid because i have really no interest at all in them). Or maybe they wouldn't speak that much about women when i'm around, or asking me if i had a date during the summer or ...
You know, changing how they act just because they know i'm no longer interested in women.
(speaking about friends, don't care about the family) |
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| adrenaLinG Canada. June 12 2012 18:32. Posts 672 | Profile Blog # |
On June 12 2012 16:04 Nyarly wrote:
Show nested quote +On June 12 2012 09:11 Silverfoxx wrote:
On June 12 2012 06:53 Nyarly wrote:
Hm, some questions that might have been asked before but I cba to read the last 300 pages :/
When/how did you felt ready to announce to your IRL friends/family that you were gay?
Why did you do it ? (why do you want people to know you're gay)
And would you say being gay is an important part of your personality ?
Changes from person to person for most answers, but i haven't posted in this thread in forever. Built up to the moment where i was first going to tell somebody in constant fear of becoming something wrong in their eyes (silly fear given my friends to be honest.) I finally did it because, well, you can only be in fear of something so long and it needed to be done. Why did I do it? Because telling people is a smaller shock than them finding out when your boyfriend comes to visit or they see you kissing another guy in a photo, hugging people way too much, etc. etc. I want people to know i'm gay only because otherwise i'm assumed straight, and it's an assumption that's false. (Seriously, I am like the most non-flamboyant non-gay sounding gay guy i've ever heard. and the only reason people assumed I was gay was because I never looked for a girlfriend while going to college.) Being gay isn't an important part of my personality at all. I'm going to be going to a new school soon and the first thing im going to tell my roommate is "Hey, i'm 22, previously been to school, gay, and a HUUUUUGE nerd who will probably be in the room or the library the whole time. Hope that's not a problem." Being gay isn't an important part of the personality that makes who I am, but I will say it's an important part of me. Makes me who I am and all that. Edit: I gotta say I still feel silly trying to claim there is still a thing as a "gay sounding" or "gay looking" guy. I dunno. There are probably little tip-offs here and there, but i failed to see any of them in myself that i see in other gay guys.
Thank you ! I liked your answers, i can understand why people prefer to know. If i may add another one : do you sometimes regret you did it? The main reason why i don't say i'm gay is because i think they'll start acting weird. I mean i do LANs all the time and i usually sleep in a bed with 3-4 guys after we're finished. If they knew i was gay, maybe they wouldn't let me sleep in the bed (which would be stupid because i have really no interest at all in them). Or maybe they wouldn't speak that much about women when i'm around, or asking me if i had a date during the summer or ... You know, changing how they act just because they know i'm no longer interested in women. (speaking about friends, don't care about the family)
are you telling me you wouldn't want an entire bed to yourself? that's a good strategy i didn't think about that |
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| Nyarly France. June 12 2012 18:48. Posts 847 | Profile Blog # |
On June 12 2012 18:32 adrenaLinG wrote:
Show nested quote +On June 12 2012 16:04 Nyarly wrote:
On June 12 2012 09:11 Silverfoxx wrote:
On June 12 2012 06:53 Nyarly wrote:
Hm, some questions that might have been asked before but I cba to read the last 300 pages :/
When/how did you felt ready to announce to your IRL friends/family that you were gay?
Why did you do it ? (why do you want people to know you're gay)
And would you say being gay is an important part of your personality ?
Changes from person to person for most answers, but i haven't posted in this thread in forever. Built up to the moment where i was first going to tell somebody in constant fear of becoming something wrong in their eyes (silly fear given my friends to be honest.) I finally did it because, well, you can only be in fear of something so long and it needed to be done. Why did I do it? Because telling people is a smaller shock than them finding out when your boyfriend comes to visit or they see you kissing another guy in a photo, hugging people way too much, etc. etc. I want people to know i'm gay only because otherwise i'm assumed straight, and it's an assumption that's false. (Seriously, I am like the most non-flamboyant non-gay sounding gay guy i've ever heard. and the only reason people assumed I was gay was because I never looked for a girlfriend while going to college.) Being gay isn't an important part of my personality at all. I'm going to be going to a new school soon and the first thing im going to tell my roommate is "Hey, i'm 22, previously been to school, gay, and a HUUUUUGE nerd who will probably be in the room or the library the whole time. Hope that's not a problem." Being gay isn't an important part of the personality that makes who I am, but I will say it's an important part of me. Makes me who I am and all that. Edit: I gotta say I still feel silly trying to claim there is still a thing as a "gay sounding" or "gay looking" guy. I dunno. There are probably little tip-offs here and there, but i failed to see any of them in myself that i see in other gay guys.
Thank you ! I liked your answers, i can understand why people prefer to know. If i may add another one : do you sometimes regret you did it? The main reason why i don't say i'm gay is because i think they'll start acting weird. I mean i do LANs all the time and i usually sleep in a bed with 3-4 guys after we're finished. If they knew i was gay, maybe they wouldn't let me sleep in the bed (which would be stupid because i have really no interest at all in them). Or maybe they wouldn't speak that much about women when i'm around, or asking me if i had a date during the summer or ... You know, changing how they act just because they know i'm no longer interested in women. (speaking about friends, don't care about the family)
are you telling me you wouldn't want an entire bed to yourself? that's a good strategy i didn't think about that
Haha, i remember going to New York for a summer camp and they made us sleep in an hostel (two per chambers, one bed).
I felt really weird, i couldn't sleep with him on the same bed so i slept on the ground for one week.. |
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| Josketh United States. June 13 2012 04:18. Posts 155 | Profile # |
Back in my younger years (around 6-10) I hung out with a really close group of guys. We were like packmates. We did pretty much everything together. Eat, sleep, shower, sports, games, etc. We were so close that even for our ages we had a way of communicating our emotions with each other that I seldom see now as an adult.
Once I moved from them, I was constantly seeking a new pack. Unfortunately, there aren't many guys where I live who wish to be THAT intimiate with another human being, let alone another male. I came out in 9th grade. Now, to my friends down here, it wasn't a big deal but it was something. I'd already gotten used to avoiding physical contact with guys anyway. Junior year was when I decided to stop being disconnected from people so I went back to my roots. I paid close attention to which friends responded well from physical affection and went from there. I've got a lot of friends, and some of their parents, who will hug me, pet me, nuzzle me, or let me sleep on them. And they do the same to me as I've never had a problem with it. In fact, it is becoming the more effective way to communicate feelings and frustrations with each other. The displays of physical affections, or lack thereof, carry a whole lot.
Stay true to yourself, is the overall moral. If you are a physical person, you can still be that. If you are someone who needs a bubble, you can still have it. You'll know the moment to come out and it'll be a tough road but you won't be walking alone.
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| Smat United States. June 13 2012 15:05. Posts 243 | Profile # |
On June 12 2012 16:04 Nyarly wrote:
Show nested quote +On June 12 2012 09:11 Silverfoxx wrote:
On June 12 2012 06:53 Nyarly wrote:
Hm, some questions that might have been asked before but I cba to read the last 300 pages :/
When/how did you felt ready to announce to your IRL friends/family that you were gay?
Why did you do it ? (why do you want people to know you're gay)
And would you say being gay is an important part of your personality ?
Changes from person to person for most answers, but i haven't posted in this thread in forever. Built up to the moment where i was first going to tell somebody in constant fear of becoming something wrong in their eyes (silly fear given my friends to be honest.) I finally did it because, well, you can only be in fear of something so long and it needed to be done. Why did I do it? Because telling people is a smaller shock than them finding out when your boyfriend comes to visit or they see you kissing another guy in a photo, hugging people way too much, etc. etc. I want people to know i'm gay only because otherwise i'm assumed straight, and it's an assumption that's false. (Seriously, I am like the most non-flamboyant non-gay sounding gay guy i've ever heard. and the only reason people assumed I was gay was because I never looked for a girlfriend while going to college.) Being gay isn't an important part of my personality at all. I'm going to be going to a new school soon and the first thing im going to tell my roommate is "Hey, i'm 22, previously been to school, gay, and a HUUUUUGE nerd who will probably be in the room or the library the whole time. Hope that's not a problem." Being gay isn't an important part of the personality that makes who I am, but I will say it's an important part of me. Makes me who I am and all that. Edit: I gotta say I still feel silly trying to claim there is still a thing as a "gay sounding" or "gay looking" guy. I dunno. There are probably little tip-offs here and there, but i failed to see any of them in myself that i see in other gay guys.
Thank you ! I liked your answers, i can understand why people prefer to know. If i may add another one : do you sometimes regret you did it? The main reason why i don't say i'm gay is because i think they'll start acting weird. I mean i do LANs all the time and i usually sleep in a bed with 3-4 guys after we're finished. If they knew i was gay, maybe they wouldn't let me sleep in the bed (which would be stupid because i have really no interest at all in them). Or maybe they wouldn't speak that much about women when i'm around, or asking me if i had a date during the summer or ... You know, changing how they act just because they know i'm no longer interested in women. (speaking about friends, don't care about the family)
I had a few similar fears about coming out because 95% of my friends were guys (working on changing that lol). My friends didn't really change how they act. There is very little chance that they will do those specific things you mentioned, and if they for some reason think you are attracted to them you can always dispell that by just being honest and telling them they aren't hot shit.
There's a chance they may feel uncomfortable about taking about gay stuff or asking about the gay side of your life if you are uncomfortable talking about it. Kinda the case for me (once again, im working on that). For example, after coming out they will be like "ya its no problem" but then they never mention it again. You have to be proactive about including the gay part of you into the relationship through conversation and such in order to make the subject a comfortable one. Depends on the people of course, everyone's different. |
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| mr_tolkien France. June 13 2012 15:30. Posts 3329 | Profile Blog # |
I love reading your stories of gay guys surrounded by straight ones... Because I'm on the opposite side, straight guy surrounded by gay ones XD
Dunno why but every guy I befriend ends up being gay. There is close to no exception ! >.> |
| | French Caster - http://www.youtube.com/user/mrtolkien |
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| TWThoth New Zealand. June 13 2012 19:01. Posts 48 | Profile # |
On June 12 2012 06:53 Nyarly wrote:
Hm, some questions that might have been asked before but I cba to read the last 300 pages :/
When/how did you felt ready to announce to your IRL friends/family that you were gay?
Why did you do it ? (why do you want people to know you're gay)
And would you say being gay is an important part of your personality ?
I told my family (my mother) after she asked me if something was wrong (was not having a good week that week) and somehow the conversation ended up at me coming out
As for friends, I told my closest friends soon after telling my mother, I believe I told them at the night badminton we have on wednsdays.
I told them because, at least for my friends, I was sick of their assumptions about me being straight, I felt the need to correct them.
Its not an important part of my personality per say, but it is a part of my identity, although you wouldn't know it from looking at/talking to me
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| | "By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." - Confucius |
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| Raamah June 13 2012 22:15. Posts 18 | Profile # |
There is a substantial % (somewhere around 20%) increase in the likelihood to be gay if you have certain physical characteristics. I believe I read about it on bbc news online, but it is on many websites now after a quick google.
Anyway, having you're index finger longer than you're third finger, the crown of your hair swirling anti-clockwise, a lisp or similar speech impediment as a result of having a shorter tongue, and being left handed are all SUBSTANTIALLY rarer traits in straight men.
This isn't absolute of course, you can be straight with all of these attributes or gay with none of them, but it borderline confirms that the gay "choice" is genetic and not a choice at all. Just thought I would share that, for the record I am straight. |
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| Conti Germany. June 13 2012 22:35. Posts 1243 | Profile # |
On June 13 2012 22:15 Raamah wrote:
There is a substantial % (somewhere around 20%) increase in the likelihood to be gay if you have certain physical characteristics. I believe I read about it on bbc news online, but it is on many websites now after a quick google.
Anyway, having you're index finger longer than you're third finger, the crown of your hair swirling anti-clockwise, a lisp or similar speech impediment as a result of having a shorter tongue, and being left handed are all SUBSTANTIALLY rarer traits in straight men.
This isn't absolute of course, you can be straight with all of these attributes or gay with none of them, but it borderline confirms that the gay "choice" is genetic and not a choice at all. Just thought I would share that, for the record I am straight.
Sources or it didn't happen. |
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| Raamah June 13 2012 22:49. Posts 18 | Profile # | |
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| Conti Germany. June 13 2012 23:21. Posts 1243 | Profile # |
Well, I was kind of hoping for the BBC article you mentioned, or even a link to the actual study. 
Was it this one, perhaps? That's the only BBC article I found, but it kinda contradicts your statements. There's not a word about "substantial" differences, and there's only any difference at all if the gay male subjects have several older brothers.
I haven't found a single useful source for that 76% statement of yours, either. Only people repeating it on the internet. I'd really like a proper source for that (preferably with a link to the actual study that actually contains the figure of 76%).
And then there is this fancy Wikipedia link, linking to studies that have linked all kinds of traits to finger length. Geez, I had no idea people were that interested in finger lengths. o.o Who on earth even comes up with the idea to correlate finger length with "Masculinity of Handwriting"? *scratches head* |
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| Raamah June 13 2012 23:42. Posts 18 | Profile # |
Well I'd imagine the majority of these websites are not likely to outright deny or confirm these studies as it is quite a controversial subject and affiliating themselves with either side of the argument could be detrimental to them. However, if you are still in university and able to use stuff like Locate(england) or similar journal finding utilities you will find a lot of the scientific studies to back up the statistics and probably the more hardcore yes/no statements you are looking for.
The 76% was taken from one of those links, and even though these are websites repeating plain and simply the academic findings of the studies, the studies themselves are out there. When my girlfriend is home I can get her to dig out some journal links from university sources for you if you can't find them yourself.
As to the finger length thing... science... we made worms eat each other to see if they could remember their way through mazes... supposedly to see if the brainless organism had memory stored in other cells... ah to have that much money to waste.
Edit: http://www.utexas.edu/courses/bio301d/Topics/Gay/Text.html appears to be an excerpt of a study conducted at a Texas university, the study is aimed primarily at Scientific Decision-making but this chapter also quotes a UT researcher called Dennis McFadden, perhaps you can track down some of his other work if it is relevant. Last edit: 2012-06-13 23:51:14 |
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| marvellosity United Kingdom. June 13 2012 23:53. Posts 11372 | Profile # |
I'm sure we're scientifically more attractive and more charming too.
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| | I disagree with myself - kushm4sta |
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| ikarigendo United States. June 14 2012 02:28. Posts 99 | Profile # |
On June 13 2012 23:21 Conti wrote:And then there is this fancy Wikipedia link, linking to studies that have linked all kinds of traits to finger length. Geez, I had no idea people were that interested in finger lengths. o.o Who on earth even comes up with the idea to correlate finger length with "Masculinity of Handwriting"? *scratches head*
Actually, it makes sense. Digit ratio "can be considered a crude measure for prenatal androgen exposure, with lower 2D:4D ratios pointing to higher androgen exposure." In other words, digit ratio is thought to be a marker for masculine hormones. From there, the link between masculine hormones (such as testosterone) masculinity of handwriting doesn't seem outlandish. |
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| Conti Germany. June 14 2012 03:22. Posts 1243 | Profile # |
On June 14 2012 02:28 ikarigendo wrote:
Show nested quote +On June 13 2012 23:21 Conti wrote:And then there is this fancy Wikipedia link, linking to studies that have linked all kinds of traits to finger length. Geez, I had no idea people were that interested in finger lengths. o.o Who on earth even comes up with the idea to correlate finger length with "Masculinity of Handwriting"? *scratches head*
Actually, it makes sense. Digit ratio "can be considered a crude measure for prenatal androgen exposure, with lower 2D:4D ratios pointing to higher androgen exposure." In other words, digit ratio is thought to be a marker for masculine hormones. From there, the link between masculine hormones (such as testosterone) masculinity of handwriting doesn't seem outlandish.
I suppose so, I just never considered to differentiate handwriting into masculine and feminine varieties. And I have no clue what makes handwriting masculine in the first place, though now I'm definitely curious. |
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| Silverfoxx United States. June 15 2012 08:10. Posts 164 | Profile Blog # |
Interesting article:
http://www.medicaldaily.com/news/20120613/10287/homosexuality-gene-mother-reproduction-evolution.htm
Apparently there IS a gay gene (or is the thought up way of doing things so far and is not accepted as rational research quite yet but gaining ground) and is usually found because women who have more children or have the desire to be more attractive to men (thus giving women the entire increase to reproduction value) passes on a gene to their sons that makes them more attracted to men.
It's a bit odd in that in women it makes them desire to be more attractive to men but in men it makes them more attracted by. Who's to say it's not in both though and the researchers have it wrong?
I dunno. thought i'd post it here.
HAVE FUN. |
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| RoMGraViTy United States. June 15 2012 08:29. Posts 298 | Profile # |
| yea i read that the other day. quite interesting. |
| | "Khaldor is a younger version of Goro from Mortal Kombat" - Tasteless |
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| Josketh United States. June 15 2012 14:03. Posts 155 | Profile # |
| Anything with genetics is crazy interesting to me. Especially looking at the adaptive benefits of why things happen genetically. Science. |
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 medic_ro Romania. June 16 2012 22:41. Posts 104 | Profile # | |
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| Zaros United Kingdom. June 17 2012 03:56. Posts 1198 | Profile Blog # |
On June 15 2012 14:03 Josketh wrote:
Anything with genetics is crazy interesting to me. Especially looking at the adaptive benefits of why things happen genetically. Science.
Science tends to be super awesome |
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