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 squattincassanova United States. May 18 2012 23:01. Posts 649 | Profile Blog # |
On May 18 2012 20:15 NDDseer wrote:
To be discussed: what do you do to centre attention on yourself (without being either really demanding, needy or arrogant) / draw someone in to an extended conversation once you have their attention, ESPECIALLY if they're distracted by their friends / some other activity or errand they feel they need to complete.
EDIT: I probably didn't do a very good job of matching their energy levels, one of them was very amped-up, but I don't know how I could have done so unless I joined in their game, which I didn't because I thought it better to be laid back, and get them into a frame of impressing me by their game, which they both fell for. In retrospect, I still think this was a good decision, but the energy level thing really seems a sticking point for improvement.
Not really a tactic as much as as a core skill that comes to you naturally after experience. When I go into a set with weaker wings, the girls naturally focus their attention towards me slowly. I have to consciously tone down my verbals as to not steal my wing's sets.
But matching energy level is huge, for me its easier to tone down than go up in energy level. Thats why I took acting class. Also dancing helps a lot. If you can dance, in a the club you can automatically raise energy just by dancing.
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| r.Evo Germany. May 19 2012 00:14. Posts 5201 | Profile # |
On May 18 2012 20:15 NDDseer wrote:
So, I meet these two girls today at the local shopping centre. I'm sitting on some public couches, and they come over and muck around, I'm the only one there so I take it as a cue and open indirect.
I get their names, introduce myself, get a little bit of backstory and make them laugh a couple of times. Problem is, though they're enjoying talking to me, they're also in the middle of a competition to do crazy stuff (confronting strangers over "breaking up with them", that sort of thing) in public, and so are continually jumping up, making as if to do something, and then chickening out.
After five minutes, their female friend + a guy who seems to be her boyfriend wander along, have clearly been hanging with them in the recent past and say hi and also sit down on the couches. I say hi, but that's it.
I talk to the two girls for a bit longer, watch one finally stop a guy, tell him he loves her, and then make a hasty exit, to return a couple of minutes later. I have something else scheduled, and need to get moving, so I tell them I'm leaving ("it was entertaining, but 5/10 for the stunts, too much chickening out") and go. Didn't get their phone numbers, because I never managed to get one of them to fully focus on me for more than about 15 seconds at a time, so I couldn't build a strong enough connection leading in to it.
To be discussed: what do you do to centre attention on yourself (without being either really demanding, needy or arrogant) / draw someone in to an extended conversation once you have their attention, ESPECIALLY if they're distracted by their friends / some other activity or errand they feel they need to complete.
EDIT: I probably didn't do a very good job of matching their energy levels, one of them was very amped-up, but I don't know how I could have done so unless I joined in their game, which I didn't because I thought it better to be laid back, and get them into a frame of impressing me by their game, which they both fell for. In retrospect, I still think this was a good decision, but the energy level thing really seems a sticking point for improvement.
In that specific scenario: Tell them they're chickens, find out what their competition is exactly about, laugh about it and tell them how easy that is in a funny ball-busting way. Once they're like "Yeah, sure..", just treat one of them as your wing, grab her and drag her into a "set". (If it was just about the "break up with a stranger"-stuff, that should be rather easy to pull for any aspiring PUA =P)
Do the whole thing 1-2 times, share more laughs, tell them the usual "Blabla you're cool I do xy soon you'd fit in perfectly blabla" -> NC.
In general btw, when you're in a set, their buddies come in and you don't have a real connection yet with your initial set you screwed up earlier. When that happens to me I either ignore the new guys completely besides an initial "hi" and wait to get introduced/ask by them who I am (great if they newcomers seem passive/friendly), or drag them in immediately to befriend them if they seem rather hostile / cockblocky.
When the "new guys" roll in while you're still within the first minutes, just drag them into whatever opening you used and treat them as part of the original set.
PS: Now that I think of it more, it would probably be even BETTER if you'd take the whole thing supersrs, get them to explain their competition and then start a huge scene where you break up with one of them right there. =P
What I'm trying to say is, due to the fact that you sit there and pretend to be cool you DON'T set the frame for the interaction. You aren't the judge of their game, you're just a random dude sitting their and laughing a bit about what they're doing. The way to take control and lead in this situation is to hop into their frame and take control of it. (The other way would be to set up your own and make them join yours but that seems rather hard in that scenario.) |
| | "We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross |
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| bonedriven May 19 2012 03:22. Posts 253 | Profile # |
| I once read somewhere a PUA said "Never tell the girl you like her until you have slept with her." I wonder if it rings true. Thank you guys. |
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| squattincassanova United States. May 19 2012 03:30. Posts 649 | Profile Blog # |
On May 19 2012 03:22 bonedriven wrote:
I once read somewhere a PUA said "Never tell the girl you like her until you have slept with her." I wonder if it rings true. Thank you guys.
That PUA clearly doesn't know how to do qualifications. Showing interest is normal. Once you get enough compliance and investment, you should tell her why you like her besides her looks. You throw a good qualification at the right time, and you can see the puppy dog face in her.
This girl I showed in the page above
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/cqnkz.jpg)
She kept hinting that she was smart and blah blah. Basically I told her "you know, i'm sure everyone assumes you are the typical club girl, but I can tell you're different.... you blah blah traveled the world and I can tell you have ambitions in the areas of blah blah blah". Stuck pretty hard. |
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| rEiGN~ May 19 2012 03:41. Posts 360 | Profile # |
| yeah, I've never really qualified girls but last weekend was out alone and I tried something I learned recently. had been hanging with and making out with this girl and at some point it just felt natural to qualify her. so I said something like "you know what <pause> you're pretty cool." meeting her again this Sunday. |
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| SeXyBaCk Switzerland. May 19 2012 04:13. Posts 117 | Profile # |
I wouldn't tell girls you like them, it might get them to reciprocate, or even worse, get you laid.
Squat, your girl up there has a big ass, at least in that shot...like you need me telling you huh.Last edit: 2012-05-19 04:14:51 |
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| squattincassanova United States. May 19 2012 05:23. Posts 649 | Profile Blog # |
On May 19 2012 03:41 rEiGN~ wrote:yeah, I've never really qualified girls but last weekend was out alone and I tried something I learned recently. had been hanging with and making out with this girl and at some point it just felt natural to qualify her. so I said something like "you know what <pause> you're pretty cool." meeting her again this Sunday.
"You're pretty cool" - is a pretty weak qualification. Since you're going on another date, she probably already likes you.
QUOTE]On May 19 2012 04:13 SeXyBaCk wrote:
Squat, your girl up there has a big ass, at least in that shot...like you need me telling you huh.[/QUOTE]
Hey, there is a reason half my LRs are Latinas lol! (shes Italian but whatever)
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| GMarshal United States. May 19 2012 05:32. Posts 20826 | Profile Blog # |
I'm closing this thread. After internal mod discussion we've determined that this thread just isn't working out.
The posts in this thread are, for the most part, horribly atrocious, the kind of posts that would warrant action elsewhere on tl. The quality is so bad that none of us wants to go through and send out two hundred warnings, nor do we really want to constantly supervise this thread. It doesn't matter if we work on reports, lots of posts are trash and it's just best removing the thread than having to moderate everything about it. There's also the fact that its become more of a personal blog for a few people, rather than a thread with actual discussion.
In fact the thread has reached such a level of awful posting that I'm using my 10k post to close it. |
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