| Rixi Spain. May 22 2012 05:07. Posts 77 | Profile # |
Today died one of my best friends(22).
On the 2011 christmas he started to feel numbness in his arm, it was brain cancer.
He lost control over the left side of his body, a week after he had brain surgery and we were told by the family that it was a success, that the recovery and rehab would be hard and long but his life wasn't in danger.
A month ago we(closest family and friends) learned that he was going to die in 3-6 months, but we were told by his mother that we coudn't tell him because they thought he would get drepressed or so. it turns out they knew all along and i just cant stop thinking about all the time that was wasted, all the things we could have done and said, spending the last month with my friend pretending everything is allright. but in the end it was his family decision to make.
So i wanted to know what you would have done,
If your children were going to die would you let them know?
If you were going to die would you want to know?
Poll: If your children were going to die would you let them know?yes (271) 81% no (65) 19% 336 total votes Your vote: If your children were going to die would you let them know? (Vote): yes
(Vote): no
Poll: If you were going to die would you want to know?yes (319) 83% no (64) 17% 383 total votes Your vote: If you were going to die would you want to know? (Vote): yes
(Vote): no
Last edit: 2012-05-22 05:07:55 |
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| shabby Norway. May 22 2012 05:15. Posts 4138 | Profile # |
| Definitely. The truth might be hard to hear, but it's the right thing to do imo. That way the person can make an informed decision about how to spend the remainder of his life (and/or try experimental treatments etc). |
| | What you want is more important than what you want right now |
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| SevenSeven United States. May 22 2012 05:16. Posts 37 | Profile # |
| I voted no for both since my first reaction would be just that, but I'm sure in the end the truth would come out somehow. But as for kids, I think it would depend on whether or not I know for certain that they know what death entails and that they have the strength, will, and spirit to take it on themselves. If that is so, I would tell them in a sensible way when the time is right- if not, I think telling them will just breed more suffering and misfortune. As for myself, I don't want anyone telling me anything since I want to read the cues and know myself that I'm going to die. Someone else telling me that I'm going to die isn't going to have much impact on me, and that emotional energy going into telling me that would be just wasted. I'm sorry to hear that your friend had passed away though, it's always confusing and tough when someone close to you passes away. |
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| Dark_Chill Canada. May 22 2012 05:17. Posts 1006 | Profile # |
The children part imo would change a lot depending on how old the child is, and even what the child is like (how he reacts to things).
I'd probably want to be told, if I were going to die. That way, I would have some motivation to do all that stuff I've never done  |
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| TALegion United States. May 22 2012 05:25. Posts 1126 | Profile # |
I can't understand why a person wouldn't want to know. If you only have a very limitied amount of time left to live, I'd say, "Fuck it," to every bit of worthlessness that I'm doing now to make the best out of it.
If I lived for 3 months, and no one told me, and I spent all of that time in school/working, I'd straight up murder someone. |
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| sleepingdog Austria. May 22 2012 05:26. Posts 6130 | Profile # |
| Yes, absolutely. I'm not afraid of death, it's part of life . It's always tragic if it hits early - I too have lost a friend of my age a month ago - but I wouldn't want to be kept in the dark. Because if I knew that I had to die in, say, 3-6 months, then there would be a million things I would do instead of what I'm doing now (which is working 50-60 hours a week) |
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| TheAmazombie United States. May 22 2012 05:29. Posts 3632 | Profile Blog # |
| So I like the idea of knowing overall, giving you a chance to prepare yourself. If you know, let's say, a long time before hand, then it is cool because it reminds me of the movie "Big Fish" where he wants to see in the witch's eye to see how he dies because in turn it removes fear from other aspects of life, he knows he will live through everything else. |
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| jcroisdale United States. May 22 2012 05:29. Posts 1289 | Profile Blog # |
| Im 23 at my parents treat my like an adult. I live on my own, pay my own rent/bills, work, take care of my pets. So if something like this was going to happen everyone who knows me would tell me. Its sickening not to. If i was his friend I would definitely tell him regardless of what his parents wishes were. |
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| Cocoba Canada. May 22 2012 05:30. Posts 352 | Profile # |
If I were suffering, then yes. If it's something where I'm going to get hit by a bus in 2 years, then no. Very situational if you ask me  |
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| Marti May 22 2012 05:31. Posts 543 | Profile # |
Why would you not want to know ? Admitting you have 3 - 6 months left to live, would you rather spend them as if you didn't know and had a long term plan with your life ( becoming a doctor with the hope to save lives many years in the future ) or live whatever remaining time you have to the fullest ?
The only thing that can keep someone from telling someone else would be the fear of that person being depressed, but then that means you're choosing to let him / her live for some time with the idea that he will live a long life and have many opportunities to do awesome things in the future when he could have been creating said opportunities right now.
Here's an analogy : you just made 1 million usd. You know it's not that much if you're going to live 100 years, so you have a good reason to save it for later / invest in something. If you know you only have 6 months left to live, would you still save it hoping to enjoy it later or try to get the most out of it now ?
It's only one argument but mostly because i don't feel the need for any other.
EDIT : what this guy said
On May 22 2012 05:25 TALegion wrote:
If I lived for 3 months, and no one told me, and I spent all of that time in school/working, I'd straight up murder someone.
We don't have "lives" we have "time ( left to live )". None of us ( except maybe keanu reeves and duncan macleod ) is immortal. The very reason we all behave a certain way in society is because we hope to do or have something in the future. If i won't make it to retirement why would i work that long if i don't enjoy my job ?Last edit: 2012-05-22 05:34:54 |
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| Mordiford May 22 2012 05:31. Posts 4107 | Profile # |
For me, certainly I'd want to know. There are just some things I know I'd be prompted to do if I knew I had little time left, but I suppose some people may get depressed so it comes down to what you feel your reaction in such a situation would be.
As for telling my child, it depends entirely on their age. At 22, I'd say they definitely have a right to know. Anything over 18, and even younger if I know my child is mature enough and will react to the news in a manner that's ultimately beneficial for their enjoyment of life.
It's a very very tough thing to think about though. |
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| anomalopidae Slovenia. May 22 2012 05:31. Posts 216 | Profile # |
| I really don't believe I'd be able to lie to them or want to be lied to, since at some point the person dying will figure out that he's not getting better but worse and then the shit will hit the fan and it's quite likely there will be a lot of anger and you really don't wish to live out the rest of your time with that person on bad emotions |
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| killa_robot Canada. May 22 2012 05:32. Posts 981 | Profile # |
On May 22 2012 05:07 Rixi wrote:
Today died one of my best friends(22).
On the 2011 christmas he started to feel numbness in his arm, it was brain cancer.
He lost control over the left side of his body, a week after he had brain surgery and we were told by the family that it was a success, that the recovery and rehab would be hard and long but his life wasn't in danger.
A month ago we(closest family and friends) learned that he was going to die in 3-6 months, but we were told by his mother that we coudn't tell him because they thought he would get drepressed or so. it turns out they knew all along and i just cant stop thinking about all the time that was wasted, all the things we could have done and said, spending the last month with my friend pretending everything is allright. but in the end it was his family decision to make.
I don't see how it's their choice. It's his life after all. You also could have actually done things with him that you wanted to since YOU did know. If he figured out he was going to die based on how you were acting then hey, it's not you're fault since you didn't outright tell him.
Yes to me knowing if I were to die and it would depend on the age of my kid. If they're 18/19+, then of course tell them the truth. If they're younger though I would be really hesitant to. |
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| CeriseCherries United States. May 22 2012 05:36. Posts 4704 | Profile Blog # |
On May 22 2012 05:32 killa_robot wrote:
Yes to me knowing if I were to die and it would depend on the age of my kid. If they're 18/19+, then of course tell them the truth. If they're younger though I would be really hesitant to.
mmm i kinda agree.. but changing that age to under 12... after that they have close enough friends to probably want time to say goodbye, have enough freedom to make the most of their time, and have enough comprehension to understand the situation... before that age idk... i feel it would create undue panic or stress without creating anything better. probably would cancel excess academics though... |
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| Kuja United States. May 22 2012 05:38. Posts 1742 | Profile Blog # |
| Yes, i think the only difference it would have on me is that id completely abandon my long term goals (because your not going to reach them anyway) and live the rest of my days doing exactly what i wanted not planning for the future! |
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| Hug-A-Hydralisk United States. May 22 2012 05:39. Posts 144 | Profile # | |
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| veQ Poland. May 22 2012 05:41. Posts 132 | Profile # |
The only thing I want to know is complete list of statistics of my life just like in GTA:SA
distance covered by running , cycling, driving, swimming and some other things.
Day of death?, not really cause I like to think like this "Live your day by yourself, dont look at others and what they say cause today may be the last day of your life" and this keeps me rollin |
| | "Victory comes to those who look forward" |
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| PassionFruit May 22 2012 05:54. Posts 177 | Profile Blog # |
| Depends on the situation. |
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| JerKy Korea (South). May 22 2012 05:59. Posts 1936 | Profile Blog # |
I probably wouldnt want to know
I think about my parents dying and sometimes I'm almost moved to tears
If I knew I were going to die, I'd probably be extremely depressed and detach myself from everyone |
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| zezamer Finland. May 22 2012 06:00. Posts 1805 | Profile # |
Adults have the right to know about their medical condition.
If underage, there's no right decision, both have pros/cons. Depends on situation but neither one much better than the other one. I hope I'll never be in such situation. |
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