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 mnm United States. November 30 2005 22:05. Posts 4477 | Profile Blog # |
| im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean.. |
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 mitsy United States. November 30 2005 22:07. Posts 1792 | Profile # |
want a build order?
edit:
no, seriously. shyness is not your essence. it's a symptom. and you're looking for a perscription to relieve it. but when it comes to personality, it's up to your own interpretation of yourself and others--first you must admit those to yourself in their fullest terms, then be open to argument about how others see those differently. even if you commit to practicing others' interpretations wholeheartedly, thereby being "less shy," it takes more time than most people realize. you are experienced when it comes to being shy. to put it in terms you'll understand: you are gosu at it. if you switch races, you will be noob. and you'll want to fall back on your shy-related patterns, (interpretations, coping mechanisms, etc.) so you must slowly build up a whole new way of dealing with things, seeing things, and so on. it takes TIME, more than people are willing to accept. you must accept gradual changes as a goal, meaning 4-6 weeks of TRYING something before really seeing how it pans out--small things, like telling yourself to think X Y Z about people instead of your old A B C. and these are the kinsd of things that are hard to stick to and easy to forget (easy to relapse!)
now that you understand everything... i have shown you the path. but knowing the path is very different from walking the path. i can bring you to the door but only you can go through it. become gosu random player!Last edit: 2005-11-30 22:11:18 |
| | express yourself--madonna |
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 1hp Korea (South). November 30 2005 22:07. Posts 903 | Profile # |
| yeah sounds like me....stopped being able to look people in the eye without being nervous after a bad experience |
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 [X]Ken_D United States. November 30 2005 22:09. Posts 4496 | Profile Blog # |
| If you want fast results then try doing group sports. Easy to meet friends. Sort of like the Starcraft experience minus the anti-social aspect of it being online. |
| | [X]Domain - I just do the website. Nothing more. |
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| mitsy United States. November 30 2005 22:14. Posts 1792 | Profile # |
| another idea i have is a game where you talk through a microphone a lot. that might be a good intermediate step. like this guy i know who plays WoW all day. he seems almost socially adequate. having a job will help too. get a shitty easy job and it will no doubt you building an endurance to interacting with horrible people |
| | express yourself--madonna |
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 YoUr_KiLLeR United States. November 30 2005 22:15. Posts 3387 | Profile # |
i didnt expect mnm to be this thread starter =P
edit: but then again, i dont know you very well at allLast edit: 2005-11-30 22:15:48 |
| | what the fuck do you have to say for yourself now you protoss jackass can you retaliate in any way |
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 randomKo_Orean Korea (South). November 30 2005 22:15. Posts 2712 | Profile Blog # |
On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..
are you joking?
dont be quiet, reach out
no guys or girls will refuse if you start a friendly convo with them (About anything) |
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| mitsy United States. November 30 2005 22:16. Posts 1792 | Profile # |
| yeah i think randomko makes me think of another thing. maybe you could just passively observe people a bit more. maybe your habit is too much to look away, and just by people watching you could learn a lot about what people want, what they like, and where you could fit in comfortably |
| | express yourself--madonna |
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 GeeyoUkNIT November 30 2005 22:18. Posts 434 | Profile # |
lol I was HELLA shy back in the days, but i moved up like hella, and now act as if im hyper or something. took me about 7 years though. some things to do are, keep your head up (omg i never wanna talk to people walking with their heads down), smile -exercise those muscles, keep eye contact, if your in talking distance from an other person and their not talking to anyone talk to them!
if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better. |
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 skyglow1 New Zealand. November 30 2005 22:19. Posts 3933 | Profile Blog # |
On November 30 2005 22:15 randomKo_Orean wrote:
Show nested quote +On November 30 2005 22:05 mnm wrote:
im too quiet and shy. i need help. how do i talk more? how do i make friends? outside of the bw setting i mean..
are you joking? dont be quiet, reach out no guys or girls will refuse if you start a friendly convo with them (About anything)
Friendly convo of starcraft = no re
skyglow1 |
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 collegeBored United States. November 30 2005 22:21. Posts 1437 | Profile # |
| what.. the.. fuck.. u gotta be kidding. |
| | The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget. |
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| collegeBored United States. November 30 2005 22:29. Posts 1437 | Profile # |
On November 30 2005 22:18 GeeyoUkNIT wrote:
if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better.
i disagree, i think arguements make the best conversations, if both people can be mature about it. if you pick something u both agree on it just ends up with
-hi
-hi
-i think [blah]
-yup
-....
if you have different opinions on something it makes it easier to talk about it and express your own
oh and of course a good motto to live by is
"life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery"Last edit: 2005-11-30 22:34:06 |
| | The stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, the wise forgive but never forget. |
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 HeadBangaa United States. November 30 2005 22:35. Posts 6484 | Profile Blog # |
On November 30 2005 22:18 GeeyoUkNIT wrote:
lol I was HELLA shy back in the days, but i moved up like hella, and now act as if im hyper or something. took me about 7 years though. some things to do are, keep your head up (omg i never wanna talk to people walking with their heads down), smile -exercise those muscles, keep eye contact, if your in talking distance from an other person and their not talking to anyone talk to them!
if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better.
You hella sound like you're from Nor Cal
EDIT: Original poster, you're one of our rare female members, right? I always confuse you with mrmin or whoever, names look kinda similar. I met a helluva lotta great people at work. Half of my best friends are coworkers.Last edit: 2005-11-30 22:39:30 |
| | www.CampaignForLiberty.com |
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 OhThatDang United States. November 30 2005 22:37. Posts 4079 | Profile # |
| whats a good topic when communicating with girls anyways |
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| randomKo_Orean Korea (South). November 30 2005 22:37. Posts 2712 | Profile Blog # |
Dont listen to GeeYoukNIT, he listens to 50 cents
(i love rap, but his songs are shit)
Anyways, if a convo goes like collegebored gives us
"-hi
-hi
-i think [blah]
-yup
-...."
then you are not going to get anywhere
Here's a friendly normal conversation that i'd do to a stranger:
*random comment about whatever they are doing* (i.e., what's that? it seems really cool!)
-oh, it's a ______
me: what does it do? it looks like..[ stupid funny comment] that does [another stupid funny comment]
-no! it does _____
and eveutally, the conversation will branch out to other things that are related to _______. Or even early on, she/he might ask your name (shake hands) and more small talk. You wont have to ever see them again, they are just random people you can talk to.
HOWEVER: when you make stupid funny comments to start convos, IT HAS to generate a laughter.
this is how i'd treat a bad symptom of "agree-itis"
you: hi
doe: hi
me: i think [blah]
doe: yup
me: have you seen/heard [another thing relating to that blah]
doe: yup
me: [stupid comment joke]
doe: hahah! yeah i know [talk talk]
if he/she keeps saying yup, then they are clearly not interested, and you'll look stupid. and if she/he does not luagh, you'll also look stupid. dont let that happen.
Another thing to remember: keep the EYE CONTACT, heads up, and little smile. Me, I love being sarcastic so I dont necessarily smile all the time, but ALWAYS keep eye contact.
My trick: look at their eyebrows, it'll seem like i'm looking at their eyes. |
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| mitsy United States. November 30 2005 22:41. Posts 1792 | Profile # |
| if you're a shy female my advice is way different, probably. i'm not sure why yet. so post if you're female. i was answering as though you were male. |
| | express yourself--madonna |
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| randomKo_Orean Korea (South). November 30 2005 22:43. Posts 2712 | Profile Blog # |
[sorry, but I dont want to edit the post because it's too long and some of you might have attention span of a goldfish]
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On November 30 2005 22:18 GeeyoUkNIT wrote:
if your at a party, never do that "find something to do so you can look busy and not talk to anyone" push yourself to come out of that comfort zone and try to talk about things that both of you can agree instead of debating, i read about that before and makes connections a lot better.
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Dont listen to this guy. Just telling people to get out of "comfort zone" won't help, you have to know how to get out of it. And it doesnt necessarily has to be agreeing. And whatever the social gathering is, do try to start conversations with people who are just wandering around, doing nothing. Have a pick, it doesnt necessarily have to be... anyone.
To start a conversation, try to talk first about
1) why they are here/how they are related to this social gathering
2) if they are related directly to the social gathering, then talk about "do you know ___?! yeah, he';s so awesome, he's into _____" and the conversation can branch out from there
3) if they are just invited thrua friend/whatnot and have no clue who these people are, talk about what the friend who invited does/who she it, then try to stir the conversation into more emotional or informational rather than who's-who. try to keep the information stuff about the gathering, or emotional stuff like... funny joke/stuff |
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 lastprobeALIVE United States. November 30 2005 22:44. Posts 844 | Profile Blog # |
if you're good looking, guys want you, not the other way around 
edit: start to party A LOTLast edit: 2005-11-30 22:44:44 |
| | aka boyle,,,,,,,,,,,, hot_bid <3 |
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| randomKo_Orean Korea (South). November 30 2005 22:45. Posts 2712 | Profile Blog # |
On November 30 2005 22:41 mitsy wrote:
if you're a shy female my advice is way different, probably. i'm not sure why yet. so post if you're female. i was answering as though you were male.
It could work both ways... I mean, I'd love girls who'd talk about random stuff like that.
girl: hey! wassup!
me: nothing! you?
girl: me nither, [stupid comment/random joke relating to an object or person near, etc.]
me: *laughter* [another joke/comment]
that's hot
EDIT: btw flavor, you cant party if you have nowhere to go in first place. you need to make close friendship with people who'd invite you to a party.Last edit: 2005-11-30 22:49:22 |
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| mitsy United States. November 30 2005 22:56. Posts 1792 | Profile # |
yeah it might work, i just am pretty sure i would have said much different things. hmm. well, assuming he/she is in the U.S., basically you really have men and women with very different access to culture(s). u have a mainstream girl culture, mainstream guy culture, then u have losers who band together and play d&d, shit like that. so i guess i go back to my original point that the "shyness" needs to be defined in more concrete terms and its cause brought to light
one thing i am thinking of is how likable girls can be to many many guys very easily. sincere simling, confidence, aggressiveness, proximity can go a LONG way. so it depends what u mean by shyness. if you want some shallow bitches to like you, then you, well, have to make them feel good about themselves and use you probably. most girls who can't be popular and think they're all high and mighty would do the same thing if they had the opportunity/skills. non-bitches are rare, and they're sitll kinda bitchy if you ask me. most guys are bitches too. in fact, most species are bitches. except sloths. they fucking rock.Last edit: 2005-11-30 22:59:28 |
| | express yourself--madonna |
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