| HeavenS Colombia. October 21 2006 18:34. Posts 1952 | Profile # |
OFFICIAL MAN LAWS
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) After wrecking your boss' car. (b) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never figh t naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! (b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! (c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
29: Pull out
30: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below. "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!" We hope this clears up any confusion.
found it pretty funny  thought id shareLast edit: 2006-10-21 18:35:31 |
| | Im cooler than the other side of the pillow. |
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| Drowsy United States. October 21 2006 18:39. Posts 4826 | Profile Blog # |
| wtf? why no brown cars? Tan is THE manliest color, though yes it's only a shade of brown. |
| | Our Protoss, Who art in Aiur HongUn be Thy name; Thy stalker come, Thy will be blunk, on ladder as it is in Micro Tourny. Give us this win in our daily ladder, and forgive us our cheeses, As we forgive those who play zerg against us. |
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| pooper-scooper United States. October 21 2006 18:40. Posts 3106 | Profile # |
Most are pretty marginal, but this one is gold:
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. |
| | Good...Bad... Im the guy with the gun |
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| NullHK China. October 21 2006 18:54. Posts 340 | Profile # |
| rofl that was hillarious! |
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| DarkGhost]Coon[ Armenia. October 21 2006 18:54. Posts 1469 | Profile # |
| Post more e-mail forwards from 10 years ago. |
| | Common sense is not so common. |
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 dronebabo October 21 2006 18:55. Posts 10827 | Profile Blog # | |
| | this space acts more like a description area than a quote |
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| AmorVincitOmnia Kenya. October 21 2006 18:56. Posts 3781 | Profile # |
| 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free. |
| | r.i.p. Bud Shank May 27, 1926 - April 2, 2009 |
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 Mr_Pink United States. October 24 2006 13:57. Posts 338 | Profile # | |
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| nitram Canada. October 24 2006 14:13. Posts 5167 | Profile Blog # |
On October 21 2006 18:54 DarkGhost]Coon[ wrote:
Post more e-mail forwards from 10 years ago.
i was thinking the same thing |
| | These sites might be of more use than a StarCraft site, where the majority of posters look on WCIII as the dense misformed fetus produced during Blizzards latest miscarrige. |
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| Chibi[OWNS] United Kingdom. October 24 2006 14:13. Posts 10598 | Profile # |
On October 21 2006 18:54 DarkGhost]Coon[ wrote:
Post more e-mail forwards from 10 years ago.
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| | IF YOU DONT THINK IM COOL THEN LEAVE THE TABLE |
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| SixSongs Poland. October 24 2006 14:15. Posts 1438 | Profile Blog # |
Great! Laws!
I especially liked this one
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. |
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| coolio Finland. October 24 2006 14:43. Posts 196 | Profile # |
| haha, nice, the last one owns ! |
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| ~OpZ~ United States. October 24 2006 15:03. Posts 3649 | Profile Blog # |
| A few were good....Enjoyed 23...lol |
| | Maybe I could teach Osama that using a plane as a wraith or dropship would be 10x better than using it as a scourge..... ^^; -Flex |
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| j0ehoe United States. October 24 2006 15:03. Posts 2705 | Profile # |
| hahahahahah nice. i saw during mnf, the miller guys said no more fruits in your beers. >< |
| | Only communists disconnect. |
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 Xeofreestyler Belgium. October 24 2006 15:06. Posts 6346 | Profile Blog # | |
| | Im the juggernaut, bitch. |
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| Yogurt Belize. October 24 2006 15:33. Posts 4257 | Profile Blog # |
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
roflness |
| | ok dont not so good something is something ok ok ok gogogo |
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| fusionsdf Canada. October 24 2006 15:40. Posts 15354 | Profile Blog # |
| I remember this from maxim about 4 or five years ago...of course there were no xbox references. |
| | SKT_Best: "I actually chose Protoss because it was so hard for me to defeat Protoss as a Terran. When I first started Brood War, my main race was Terran." | |
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| BalloonFight United States. October 24 2006 15:46. Posts 2007 | Profile Blog # | |
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| Eatme Switzerland. October 24 2006 16:07. Posts 3746 | Profile Blog # |
| Not this one again. I ususally dont go like this but honestly. |
| | I have the best fucking lawyers in the country including the man they call the Malmis. |
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| Night[Mare Mexico. October 24 2006 16:29. Posts 4793 | Profile Blog # |
On October 24 2006 15:46 BalloonFight wrote:
You're next!.
Lol, gold.
no it isnt gold. |
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