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 Smurg Scotland. November 26 2006 14:28. Posts 3808 | Profile Blog # |
This will be hard to take in, but we can only learn.
Now if you don't already play Protoss, don't worry...it's not really hard to adapt to an entirely different race. Especially when all you have to do is to build a gateway, then a forge and finally photon cannons.
Here is a typical game plan:
First few minutes:
- Move workers, that start next to your big building, (Nexess)
to the mineral patches, which are blue and are near your Nexess.
After 2-3 minutes:
- If you have not got all workers mining yet, just click on them and make them mine. If you look in the top left wait top right, you'll see a thing like this: 4/10 with a symbol next to it. This means you have 4 guys and 10 population in which to fill. (If I am being too technical PM me and I'll explain further.)
Just click with your left mouse button on your Nexcuss, then click 5 times on your little 'Probe' icon...which is the name of your worker unit.
This'll stack 5 up for production, and soon you will have 5 more...thus increasing productivity. So just wait it out and then make them go for more minerals.
After 7-8 minutes:
- You'll have around 600 minerals or more by now, so build a pylong so you get more population, (again, PM if you need a further explanation) then build a gateway next to it in it's blue aura (you can check where it is by left clicking your pylong).
Then after that, build a forge...then comes the best part. If you look at your building chart in the bottom right...you can see the mighty 'Photon Cannon'.
Now you can proceed to build lots of pylongs in symmetrical patterns. Then in the spaces put lots of photon cannons.
After 20 minutes:
Since the rules now state that both of you can move out and attack, you'll be sitting at your base laughing at what your opponent is about to encounter.
Note: If your opponent attacks before this point he/she is obviously a) hacking b) cheating c) forfeiting the game advertently. In the case of this happening, proceed to spam 'HACKER', 'CHEATER', 'NR 20 YOU FAG.' This of course illustrates your deftness and ability to handle situations. Show him your base and say...'GIVEN 10 TO 15 MORE MINUTES YOU WOULD SO BE DEAD'.
Yank the cord out of your router/modem or simply build pylons in remote corners of the map, so you can prolong the ordeal and show the hacker just what he's up against. You can also use this as a chance to get some more FAG's in.
20 minutes +:
Watch as your opponent loses guy after guy after guy, he has nowhere to land his shuttles...he has no possible way of getting even close to the cannons (Photon has the highest range of any unit in Starcraft).
Now all you have to do is wait for them to give up...usually (from my experience) people will usually send their last messages like this:
"Wow, great play, where did you learn that?"
or
"*Bows down* You truly are the master, and I am but your feeble opponent."
or
"I've never felt such pain inside, please accept my apologies for even joining your game."
Several different variations of this strategy, involve making 55 workers in a row and then getting photon cannons. You must remember to edit the map and set mineral patches to have 50000 instead of the strangely chosen '1500' which seems to be the normal.
Or I have discovered a type of map which favours this strategy. 'Fastest Map Ever' and many such alternate names/maps with this description.
They are the fastest maps ever built, so obviously you're going to need to do some training to keep up. I've been told from a reliable source, that progamers train on these maps to increase their skill, and then they take back what they have learned from these maps and incorporate them into slower maps...what I like to call 'Newb maps'.
Such maps would be 'Luna', 'Lost Temple', 'Dahlia', 'Arcadia' , 'Peaks of Baekdu'. 'Tau Cross' and so on and so forth.
Any map which has 'clutter' or what I like to call 'shit' on it isn't a real map, it's just a poxy map designed by Blizzard or other people too stupid to realise that the faster you are the better you are.
Avoid these maps as they'll only decrease your overall skill.
Please, use this tactic wisely...I'm sure I'll see some of you emerging on the pro-scene soon (thank me later) and I look forward to seeing my world-beating tactic in play.
[The reason I have not gone pro, is because I prefer to keep my ID anonymous as I have too many enemies who have been bested by my tactic. Watch out for; DragonSlayur[Ca], TOXICSK8TERLOL, MissPiggy, Vzzdak & PETROLSNIFFPOWER. They are mean bastards who will stop at nothing to turn your life into a tempest of shit.]
Look, before anyone steps out and says "Hey look at this...Smurg deserves a monetary donation, or a medal...at least something for fucks sake! Look at what he's done for the community!", let me say this:
I'll stem this at the flow...please, I don't want your money...buy me a drink sometime. I don't want a medal, I just want everyone to realise that there are some tactics that elevate the level of the game to a higher level. A different plane which is seldom reached.
As someone who has reached that level...I just want to share, as I am more enlightened now than ever before.
People regularly come up to me on the street and say..."You...you are the best." I think nothing of it and tell them..."Look, one day you can be the best...maybe not quite as 'the best' as I am...but still very good."
Enjoy this, as defining a moment it is...remember. Knowledge is power, but with great power comes great responsibility. I beseech you to be careful with what you now know.
Adieu my friends...adieu.
That is a screen shot of the "The Final Solution".Last edit: 2007-06-14 08:56:40 |
| | I haven't eaten for more than 80 years. |
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| Loveletter United States. November 26 2006 14:32. Posts 534 | Profile # |
| This is a joke right? It's still November |
| | DotA 2 - peteyyytran/IRONBRAH add me for inhouse games/pub games |
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| ZZangDreamjOy Canada. November 26 2006 14:36. Posts 910 | Profile Blog # |
| this is hilarious, you deserve a razzie ;P |
| | http://last.fm/user/loganterriah |
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| Smurg Scotland. November 26 2006 14:37. Posts 3808 | Profile Blog # |
On November 26 2006 14:32 Loveletter wrote:
This is a joke right? It's still November
Please, do not regard what I have posted as a joke...I know you may be at first overwhelmed by the strategy...and all your body can resort to is crumbling mentally and physically. Your emotions are askew...and all you can do is laugh...
This happened to me when I stumbled upon the mighty secret...but be strong friend, you will soon develop a tolerance for greatness and be able to harness it...and unleash the raw power in a battalion of blue heavenly balls. |
| | I haven't eaten for more than 80 years. |
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| In)Spire United States. November 26 2006 14:39. Posts 1313 | Profile Blog # |
 Last edit: 2006-11-26 14:56:30 |
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| CoralReefer Canada. November 26 2006 14:43. Posts 2069 | Profile # |
On November 26 2006 14:39 In)Spire wrote:
Dude wtf..... this strat suxxors. Ull NEVER USE THIS ON A PRO MAP AND WIN unless ur playing a nooby. This *MIGHT* work on island maps, but not against good players, and like i said b4, it might work against a nooby.
uhhh i tried this strategy today, and guess what? 5-0
that's right bitch. |
| | And this hot potato has vanished into thin air. |
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 Empyrean November 26 2006 14:43. Posts 16305 | Profile Blog # |
When I clicked on this thread, I was hoping to learn about Hitler's Final Solution to solve the Jewish Problem. I was deeply disappointed  |
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 alffla Hong Kong. November 26 2006 14:46. Posts 20261 | Profile Blog # |
| this is like purepwnage1 lolz |
| | savior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY! |
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| Wysp Canada. November 26 2006 14:48. Posts 2118 | Profile Blog # |
| the staff icon ruins the best parts of your posts, Smurg. The morons who don't catch on. |
| | an overdeveloped sense of self preservation |
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| Sadir Vatican City State. November 26 2006 14:49. Posts 1123 | Profile Blog # |
On November 26 2006 14:32 Loveletter wrote:
This is a joke right? It's still November
lol joking? how dare you? that's the ultimate strategy , respect smurg's skill and try his strategy;
even though it's hard play of and timing is soooo important, you'll need about 23094813458234905 hours of training this strat; and don't even bother to look at these weird races (how are they called...zergs and hm...terrons...nope terrans), they suck...not cannons => no instant win, and they don't have carrier omfg...everybody who disagrees just pm and I'll beat the shit out of you noobs which this perfect strategy, also known as the royal strategy
only true Kings of Starcraft have got the skill to pull this strategy of
smurg = Lord of War
CoralReefer = the one and only emporer of the royal strategy
Last edit: 2006-11-26 14:51:52 |
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| cichli Sweden. November 26 2006 14:52. Posts 79 | Profile # |
| Sweet! I think you could have been more subtle though, such as not putting the pic at the very top of the thread so as to let the awesomeness of your strat gradually dawn to people as they read on, rather than being overwhelmed as of now. |
| | The Internet will not listen to reason |
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 thedeadhaji November 26 2006 14:55. Posts 23290 | Profile Blog # |
On November 26 2006 14:43 Empyrean wrote:When I clicked on this thread, I was hoping to learn about Hitler's Final Solution to solve the Jewish Problem. I was deeply disappointed
ditto |
| | Blog: http://blog.hkmurakami.com/ |
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| Smurg Scotland. November 26 2006 14:56. Posts 3808 | Profile Blog # |
On November 26 2006 14:39 In)Spire wrote:
Dude wtf..... this strat suxxors. Ull NEVER USE THIS ON A PRO MAP AND WIN unless ur playing a nooby. This *MIGHT* work on island maps, but not against good players, and like i said b4, it might work against a nooby.
Indeed, I would take heed of this if I accepted advice from such lowbrow user and amateur Starcraft player.
I am sick of attitudes like this, I present so much yet get scorned because some people can't get their heads around such a strategy...
But, I had been expecting it, it always hurts when your brain-child is insulted. I forgive you son. |
| | I haven't eaten for more than 80 years. |
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| Smurg Scotland. November 26 2006 14:58. Posts 3808 | Profile Blog # |
On November 26 2006 14:52 cichli wrote:
Sweet! I think you could have been more subtle though, such as not putting the pic at the very top of the thread so as to let the awesomeness of your strat gradually dawn to people as they read on, rather than being overwhelmed as of now.
Ah, I will take your advice, people aren't prepared for the shock...they must slowly let their brains matriculate into the place of learning that is this strategy. |
| | I haven't eaten for more than 80 years. |
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| EAGER-beaver Canada. November 26 2006 15:16. Posts 2697 | Profile # |
| Wait hold on, there's several numbers up in the right corner of my screen and I don't know how to use fractions so I normally ignore that one. Is there an easier way to deal with this supply issue? My next problem is being attacked before the 20 minute mark by a hacker. I call him a homosexual but then he just makes fun of my mom. What should I do? |
| | Simon and Garfunkel rock my face off |
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| evanthebouncy! United States. November 26 2006 15:18. Posts 10748 | Profile Blog # | |
| | Life is run, it is dance, it is fast, passionate and BAM!, you dance and sing and booze while you can for now is the time and time is mine. Smile and laugh when still can for now is the time and soon you die! |
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| Smurg Scotland. November 26 2006 15:21. Posts 3808 | Profile Blog # |
On November 26 2006 15:16 EAGER-beaver wrote:
Wait hold on, there's several numbers up in the right corner of my screen and I don't know how to use fractions so I normally ignore that one. Is there an easier way to deal with this supply issue? My next problem is being attacked before the 20 minute mark by a hacker. I call him a homosexual but then he just makes fun of my mom. What should I do?
The easiest way to deal with supply, is to wait until your minerals go into four figures...this is what I call 'trail-blazing'. Then you can get a probe to make say 10 pylons...then don't even bother looking up at the top right, you'll have enough supply to last you for the rest of the game. But in the extreme case you need more, just repeat this again.
He is attacking before the 20 minute mark? I see this happening a lot...and although it is to BW what statutory rape is to society it cannot be avoided sometimes.
Call his father an insecure moron who has obviously regularly fellated him at a young age. Then proceed to say that you hope he dies in a vehicular related accident. That should quell his dirty hacking mouth. |
| | I haven't eaten for more than 80 years. |
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| thedeadhaji November 26 2006 15:28. Posts 23290 | Profile Blog # |
I was going to post some "final solution" pic to attempt to be funny, but they were all too offensive so I decided against it...
so instead, here's a pic of the San Diego Naval base
tehehehehhehee |
| | Blog: http://blog.hkmurakami.com/ |
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| SCNewb Canada. November 26 2006 15:32. Posts 2207 | Profile # |
Hahahaha thanks Smurg
I must try out this "ultimate strategy" |
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| Drowsy United States. November 26 2006 15:33. Posts 4845 | Profile Blog # | |
| | Our Protoss, Who art in Aiur HongUn be Thy name; Thy stalker come, Thy will be blunk, on ladder as it is in Micro Tourny. Give us this win in our daily ladder, and forgive us our cheeses, As we forgive those who play zerg against us. |
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