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 Captain Peabody United States. July 18 2009 12:34. Posts 696 | Profile Blog # |
For hundreds of years now, humanity has lived according to SCIENCE. And, let's face it, SCIENCE has worked out pretty well. It's given us computers, crankshafts, teleprompters, and all the other things that make modern life so great.
However, now, on July 17th, something utterly momentous has happened, perhaps one of the most momentous things in all of human history: SCIENCE has failed. Kennigit's flawless mathematical formulas have failed to reflect reality. And so, SCIENCE has now been definitively proven wrong.
Obviously, this will have far-reaching effects on all areas of life (including, among other things, the immediate shut-down of this website)--but I won't go into detail on all of those here. The important question which concerns us today is simply: where do we go from here? What, then, shall we live our lives by, if not SCIENCE?
For the answer to this question, it is my contention that we go back to a time before SCIENCE as we know it had ever begun, to a time where the great minds and thinkers of society lived by a different principle.
I am speaking, of course, about LOGIC.
Some, I know, will doubt me; they will say that we can still trust SCIENCE, despite its failure. They will say that LOGIC is not good enough to succeed where SCIENCE has failed. These people are wrong.
To prove it, I will now, against the failed SCIENCE of Teamliquid, set the power of LOGIC. Using only LOGIC and a few salient facts, I will predict the Starcraft 2 beta date, and, again using only LOGIC, incontrovertibly prove my prediction to be correct. I will succeed where SCIENCE has failed! The world will once more bend before the awesome power of LOGIC!
Hence:
Axioms: (1)Teamliquid is elitist; (2)Warcraft 3 sucks; (3)all Koreans are good at Starcraft 1 & 2.
Fact 1: Blizzard will release the beta "really, really soon."*
Fact 2: Events overseas July 23-26 with playable SC2. One in Spain, another in Korea.*
Fact 3: David Kim has won every Battle Report.*
Fact 4: SC2 is for n00bs lol*
Now, we know that "Blink" is a Warcraft 3 spell, and that Blink is also in Starcraft 2. Therefore, SC2=WC3. And since by Axiom 2 Warcraft 3 sucks, then therefore SC2 sucks. Now, by this, Fact 3 (David Kim plays Starcraft 2), and Fact 4(SC2 is for n00bs), we can LOGICally deduce that David Kim is a n00b. And since David Kim is a Korean, a n00b, and good at Starcraft 2, and since by Axiom 3 we know that all Koreans are also good at Starcraft 2, then LOGICally all Koreans must likewise be n00bs. Now, taking this with Fact 2 (a SC2 event at Korea, and another simultaneously in Spain), we can deduce that all Spanish people are n00bs as well.
In addition, by Axiom 1 Teamliquid is elitist. And since the majority* of Teamliquid users and staff are from the US/Canada/Australia region, then logically the majority of people from these regions are also elitist. And since Blizzard's offices are also in America, and most Blizzard employees are from America, ergo Blizzard is elitist as well.
Now, if there's one thing about elitist SC players that is absolutely intrinsic to their nature as elitists, it's that they (on principle!) hate and despise all n00bs. And, since Blizzard is elitist, and since by the above Spanish and Koreans are n00bs, then logically Blizzard must hate Spain and Korea, and so (by LOGIC) must always heavily favor the US region over those of Europe and Korea. This means, LOGICally, that for any good SC2-related thing that Spain and/or Korea recieves, Blizzard must give us something better. So far, so unquestionably LOGICal.
However, as yet we have no evidence of a better event in the US corresponding to the ones in Korea and Spain. This is important. Since by the above arguments we know that elitist Blizzard would never give something to the n00b paradises of Europe and Korea without giving us (the elitist Americans*) something much, much prettier (and better), then the only logical deduction which can be made from all of this that Blizzard is going to give the America region something better than these events on or before this date (July 23-26th).
Now, since the Korean event contains the exponential awesomeness of Moon and Nada playing SC2 (which, by the way, combined with Fact 4 is yet more evidence that all Koreans are n00bs--so stop doubting LOGIC!), I think we can all agree that the corresponding American event will have to be pretty darn awesome to clearly show Blizzard's elitist regard for America's superiority over the rest of the world. Now, this, combined with Fact 1 above (which, taking into account Blizzard's track record has LOGICally been reduced to merely "really soon"), and the fact that beta will be American region-only when launched, all indicate a strong possibility that the launching of Beta is the American event in question. However, when the fact that there will be unspecified other progamers at the same event, plus hundreds of Koreans (which, by Axiom 3, are good at Starcraft, and therefore awesome), is taken into account, then LOGICally there is no possible event awesome enough to compete with this, save Beta.
And so, since by the above Blizzard must always give America something more awesome than Korea, and since the only possible SC2-related thing awesome enough to be beat the Korean event is the launch of Beta, then by LOGIC the corresponding American event must be Beta.
And since to correspond and nullify the competing events--and thus prove Blizzard's elitist regard for America over Korea and Spain-- Beta must come out on or before July 23-26th, then LOGICally Beta must come out on or before July 23-26th.
Q.E.D.
Addendum: As you can plainly see, LOGIC is much, much better than SCIENCE. In addition, LOGICians are clearly much, much prettier than the competition: + Show Spoiler +
Addendum the Second: + Show Spoiler +
Spock approves this message. ![[image loading]](http://trekmovie.com/wp-content/uploads/spocksbrain/remote_spock.jpg)
*SOURCE: Dustin Browder
*SOURCE: Fact 2 (see above)
*SOURCE: Fact 3 (see above)
*SOURCE: Every Teamliquid SC2 thread ever created.
*Yes, I made that up, but it's LOGIC so you can't argue with it
*SOURCE: (see above)
Last edit: 2009-07-18 12:45:55 |
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 Nitrogen United States. July 18 2009 12:40. Posts 4823 | Profile Blog # | |
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 Weasel- Canada. July 18 2009 12:40. Posts 445 | Profile # |
| I had a big smile on my face the whole time I was reading this. Thank you. |
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 prOxi.Beater Denmark. July 18 2009 12:41. Posts 512 | Profile # | |
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| numLoCK Canada. July 18 2009 12:41. Posts 896 | Profile Blog # |
| I will wait for the date in question then. Poor science ;__; |
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 Wolfwood. United States. July 18 2009 12:43. Posts 68 | Profile # |
Now, we know that "Blink" is a Warcraft 3 spell, and that Blink is also in Warcraft 3. Therefore, SC2=WC3.
..? |
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 Liquid`Jinro Sweden. July 18 2009 12:45. Posts 29700 | Profile Blog # |
JULY 17th IS NOT OVER YET!!
![[image loading]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DZH2cmCoois/R7yV24UMhiI/AAAAAAAAEnE/ROlNPOc12Ug/s400/I_Want_to_Believe.jpg) |
| tell the guy that interplanatar interaction is pivotal to terrans variety of optionitudals in the pre-midgame preperatories as well as the protosstinal deterriggation of elite zergling strikes - Stimey
Formerly FrozenArbiter |
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| Captain Peabody United States. July 18 2009 12:48. Posts 696 | Profile Blog # |
..?
If you will look again at the post in question, you will find your quote to be in error (you will also find an indication that the post has been edited--but that's totally besides the point). Hence, LOGICally, I have no choice but to conclude that you are insane.
Thank you.Last edit: 2009-07-18 12:49:00 |
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 scintilliaSD United States. July 18 2009 12:51. Posts 1174 | Profile Blog # |
The incorrectness of the SCIENCE is resulting of one of the following:
1) Foreigners are unpredictably unpredictable in TvT.
2) People are extrapolating their iCCup
3) Blizzard has dodged more of their recently received e-mails |
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 n.DieJokes United States. July 18 2009 12:54. Posts 1793 | Profile Blog # |
| Lol this thread is awesome. The worst part is that's when I thought sc2 beta was gonna be release before hand but then you made this thread and this thread is bullshit (in the best way possible) logically my theory is now bullshit as well. i really like the Q.E.D at the end, nice touch |
| | Congratulations FlameWheel "I'm half-stoned from lack of sleep. But scroll down to picture of cat. I think you can find something from that." |
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 Sonu Canada. July 18 2009 12:57. Posts 577 | Profile Blog # |
| am i missing something here.... was the beta supposed to come out.. did i miss a post.. someone please explain whats going on O_O |
| | "I really like this wall-in, because its not a fucking wall" - DAy[9] |
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 Comeh United States. July 18 2009 13:01. Posts 1075 | Profile # |
hahaha
Oh man, this is a really fantastic post. I must logically deduce the fact that you are a really fantastic poster, and I am the the reader of a fantastic poster. Therefore, I am fantastic.
Thank you. |
| | She definitely wasnt hotter then hot_Bid but nonetheless she was cute. A solid 7 in my eyes. | ma$e - Jealous Guys |
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| Captain Peabody United States. July 18 2009 13:02. Posts 696 | Profile Blog # | |
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 LilClinkin Australia. July 18 2009 13:05. Posts 166 | Profile Blog # |
4/10
Too long, not that funny.
My LOGIC counterbalances yours, why would Blizzard have these big staged events in Korea and Spain if the Beta is already available overseas?
We won't be seeing Beta until after the 26th of July. You can bet that we'll see it before the end of August, as that is also the end of winter in Australia (and I assume summer in America). |
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| DeCoup Australia. July 18 2009 13:07. Posts 1440 | Profile # |
Brilliant work!
+ Show Spoiler +
So when both SCIENCE and LOGIC fail us on 26th, what will be the next all powerful force? + Show Spoiler + Last edit: 2009-07-18 13:15:22 |
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 Cube Canada. July 18 2009 13:14. Posts 646 | Profile Blog # |
| you have forgotten one thing my friend, on TL.net, it is always july 17th |
| | defender of the polyverse! |
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 XXehh Canada. July 18 2009 13:21. Posts 119 | Profile # |
This post is full of win, haha
Beta better come out soon!! |
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| Rice United States. July 18 2009 13:25. Posts 820 | Profile Blog # | |
| | Freedom will be defended at the cost of civil liberties. |
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| KnightOfNi United States. July 18 2009 13:27. Posts 1418 | Profile # | |
| | #3 eSTROgeneral; #1 hyvaa fan; #1 Action fan; #2 GosI[Flying] fan -- All your base are belong to us |
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![[image loading]](http://faculty.francis.edu/aremillard/Images/Saint_Thomas_Aquinas.jpg)
Ozarugold July 18 2009 12:56. Posts 2356