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Lay Report Seattle Wed Dec 22
So I get home to Seattle on Tuesday night after driving 2 days from Las Vegas. I hit up all my friends on Facebook; then I hit up PlentyofFish. Its the middle of the week, and I thought I would jump start setting up dates. Basically created a second account for Seattle just a few days prior. Its an exact replica of my other profile.
I Start blasting 40 pages of chicks with this opener:
Title: "Open This Message" Message: "Here is the deal - no bullsh*tabout how you "seem like a really cool person". I just thought you were adorable and want to meet you. Let's go out some time."
To be Honest, this probably isn't the best opener. I have Never used it before now and I'm using it because my friend tried it and said it worked for him. I think for this opener to work, you have to have a decent profile. And basically the opener is designed so that if she likes you, it sets up the date very fast. Its more of a cut the bullshit message. I got her number in 3 messages:
Me: Here is the deal - no bullsh*tabout how you "seem like a really cool person". I just thought you were adorable and want to meet you. Let's go out some time.
Her: Lol well gees..I like the up front honesty ....sounds good to me!
Me: Cool I Love Hispanic girls, lets do coffee shop. I'm only visiting for a bit, visiting family for the holidays. Whats your schedule like?
Her: Sounds like a plan...i work in redmond...I'm working 9-5 all week so Anytime after is cool with me.
Me: Okay, lets do tomorrow. I drove from Cali, need to do some shopping and find a jacket hehe. Lets meet around 7pm at bellevue square mall. How do I get a hold of you.
Her: That could work...maybe a little later..I have to go home after work to change n take my Dog out for a bit... Text me 509.3XX.XXXX
I texted her this afternoon at 3pm. She responds around 5pm. I told her I will call her in a few minutes. I set up a Starbucks date (over the phone) in between both our homes at 830pm.
So I go in, shes already there. I walk in, gave her a great big smile and hug. She had two couches saved for me. I basically jumped Into rapport stuff with a little bit of humor. Conversation started about how I drove from Cali and the interesting things I saw on the Way. I wore a fitted dress shirt because it was after workout and I wanted to look ripped. It was cold as fuck so I made some excuse how its Sunny in Cali and I forgot to bring my jacket and I didnt have time to buy one. I told her she seemed very extroverted and she's very open. She told me she was Actually quite sHy. I'M like "hmm... interesting". Must be a good thing if I opened her up so fast. So it was about an hour of talking about pretty mundane get to know each other questions. I just basically kept the vibe up. Stuff include where she was from, where was her family, What she studied and worked. But again, I Never ask multiple questions in a row. If I ask a question, I will either tell a similar story of my own, relate to her, tease her, or tell her What it reminded me of. After doing cold approach, it feels like day 2's are fucking 10000x easier. I mean, I can plow for 20 minutes where the girl is not talking, how easy is it to get Into conversations where its 50/50 and the you get to ask lame get to know each other questions? LOL! Its freaking 10pm and Starbucks was about to close, and of course, you can't Really escalate in a fucking coffee shop. The only thing I did at that point was touch her hand.
So I tried to bounce her to another location. My friend from HS texted me they were going to a club in downtown Seattle which has a Wed night thing. So I tell her we are going there and she complied. I put it in my phone GPs and showed her it was Only 17 miles away (to build comfort).
I am driving down the highway I-5 and as I was going 70, my fucking rear right tire explodes. I pull over to the shoulder and inside my head I am like, oh god, this night is over before it even started, FML. I open the back to find the spare tire but I couldn't find the jack. I called the tow truck guy and he was like, its somewhere in the back near the tire. I didn't realize how small it was. He told me that it was much cheaper and faster for me to change tire myself than to have them come over, so I decide to do that. Inside my head I am like FUCK FUCK FUCK. But then I am thinking to myself, you know, its times like this that girls look at you and see if you are a man and if you can take control when shit breaks loose. So I looked at her and smiled and SaiD, "this night is becoming a crazy adventure, I bet you didn't expect a flat tire did you?". Oh btw, its fucking 1030pm and cold as hell outside. I go out in increments and come back to the car to warm up. First I put up the jack and I go back inside. I tell her to keep me warm by rubbing my arms. While shes doing that, i go for a Kiss. Then I tell her "I bet you Never got a make out while on a shoulder of a highway before?" She laughed. I am thinking in my head, this is cool. She is looking at my face and if I am calm and collected, she will mirror that. And the fact that I framed it as an adventure and I will fix it in no problem, she wasn't too phased by it.
So I finally put on the spare (good job for not bringing a jacket, you douche). I get in the car and headed for the club. Wed night, the parking wasnt Bad, rolled right in. I find my friend instantly, and I do my hand shake with him and introduced my girl. While I was talking to my friend, Another old HS buddy comes in with high enthusiasm and high fives me. I am like, cool, I'm getting Social proofed and the girl knows I have friends lol. Basically told her the story of how we knew each other. Since all my friends there were Asian, I whispered in her ear that I have White and Mexican friends too, and she laughed.
The club was crowded so it was a good place to escalate kino. I was next to a support column so I locked in and leaned my self against it. Then I talked about her scarf, it was striped and I said it looked like a Bengal scarf. I took it, wrapped it around my neck and have her hold on to it. The lock in was fucking sick.... I looked like a total OG right there Haha. I look around, I see a couple of Black guys and they are doing the same thing.... locked in and having the girl lean Into them. Damn you Black guys born with game!
One thing I know is that moving a girl around builds more connection and comfort quickly. I bounced her to the back of the club, its got sofas next to Fish tanks. We took some pictures with the picture guy in the back and then we Sat on the couch, I put my arms around her. I got a make out there. One of the cool things with Mexican girls is that a lot of them are just very chill. They have a calm and collected personality. No crazy bitch Asian chick persona or crazy chick attitude.... just fun, smiling, telling stories and no BS drama. They are also very passionate and I guess escalating wasn't very hard to do.
I'm getting hungry. After the gym around 7pm, I had a Light meal. I have this problem with farting due to my high calorie and protein diet that I try not to eat a lot before a date lol. So I took her to China town and we ate at a restaurant. Love Chinatown, they got restaurants open to 3am. Ordered hot and sour soup and Mongolian beef. At this point, I am kind of tired and I wasn't thinking of pushing for a lay since my mouth will taste like damn hot and sour soup but the soup tastes so damn good! We ate and I paid. Here is the thing, I suggested to eat, she wasn't that hungry, It was obvious that I should pay. Again, I usually pay. But also, I usually go eat because I want to eat myself and not because I am trying to impress a girl.
Anyways, we hop Into the car and head back. Because I am driving with a stupid spare tire that shouldn't go 55mph, I took the regular road back to the mall where we met up. It was more Chill talking. No State pumping, no crazy kino. I held her hand in the car and rubbed her thighs. We get to her car inside the parking lot Which was underneath the movie theater and it was just me and her car side by side. So I go for Another makeout, and obviously she complies. Then I go for those busty latina boobies and she was cool with that. I'm like, hey this is pretty cool, her breath doesn't smell like hot and sour soup anymore (I gave her gum after the restaurant). I ask her about when we are hanging out again, she said Friday. After more kissing. She gets amped up, and I asked her if she wants to continue now or Friday, she says Friday. I am thinking to myself, god dammit, Friday is my going out day where I get to practice cold approaching. Lets make it happen tonight! So I basically rub her in her jeans and she agrees to go to the back seat with me.
Anyways, as we were about to take off our pants, the fucking garbage / brush cleaner truck goes Into the fucking parking lot cleaning. The truck circled around my car like 20 times, I am like why is he doing that? I am thinking to my self, OMG I am getting cock blocked by a damn truck! Then I realized that my headlights are on... OMFG! I quickly turned it off but I think the truck guy knew whats up. After 10 minutes they left and we continued. And then the security car drives by, stopped for 5 seconds and then left!!! I thought it was gonna be over and that I would be arrested for public indecency... luckily, my car is 90% tinted and we fogged up the windows pretty good. Also, next time, note to self, park normally please.... I parked literally in between two parking lines. The rest was history. First day in Seattle and already a lay. Also first lay off PlentyofFish. Online gaming is definitely a lot easier when you start off in cold approach.
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is awesome32236 Posts
After reading this thread I've gotten curious and read a bit on pick up.
It makes me laugh. It's not that I don't think it works, but 99% of it is like reading those bad self-help books: just a way to make money.
I mean, there's books being written by people who:
Don't know how to write, put graphs in their articles that make zero sense (like, they are missing a name on an axis or using arbitrary curves to show how humans behave, a curve to show how humans socially behave, LOL), have no sense of scientific writing, etc.
I mean, if people feel they are getting help, or it works as a placebo for them to lose fear, more power to them. But:
There's a reason there are professionals out there. There are for professionals who deal with people with social stigmas/problems, that work on marriages, on sex, etc. These are people that studied and know how to approach people to solve their problems. Most of them also know how to write a book.
If you are looking to share sex experiences, sure, there's always friends, internet forums.
But having random dudes write about social behavior is pretty laughable from any serious point of view and it won't withstand any serious analysis.
It's no different on reading a book on football written by some dude that plays soccer for a random team. Out of every book that could turn out to be good, 999 will be shit.
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On December 23 2011 00:53 IntoTheWow wrote: It's no different on reading a book on football written by some dude that plays soccer for a random team. Out of every book that could turn out to be good, 999 will be shit.
I think you're really biased, because it's true for any other field. Majority of the books and other material about anything is poorly written and/or made by people who have no idea what they're talking about.
That doesnt mean that there is no good books/coaches dedicated to this subject, looks like you just haven't found any yet.
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On December 22 2011 21:47 squattincassanova wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Lay Report Seattle Wed Dec 22So I get home to Seattle on Tuesday night after driving 2 days from Las Vegas. I hit up all my friends on Facebook; then I hit up PlentyofFish. Its the middle of the week, and I thought I would jump start setting up dates. Basically created a second account for Seattle just a few days prior. Its an exact replica of my other profile. I Start blasting 40 pages of chicks with this opener: Title: "Open This Message" Message: "Here is the deal - no bullsh*tabout how you "seem like a really cool person". I just thought you were adorable and want to meet you. Let's go out some time." To be Honest, this probably isn't the best opener. I have Never used it before now and I'm using it because my friend tried it and said it worked for him. I think for this opener to work, you have to have a decent profile. And basically the opener is designed so that if she likes you, it sets up the date very fast. Its more of a cut the bullshit message. I got her number in 3 messages: Me: Here is the deal - no bullsh*tabout how you "seem like a really cool person". I just thought you were adorable and want to meet you. Let's go out some time. Her: Lol well gees..I like the up front honesty ....sounds good to me! Me: Cool I Love Hispanic girls, lets do coffee shop. I'm only visiting for a bit, visiting family for the holidays. Whats your schedule like? Her: Sounds like a plan...i work in redmond...I'm working 9-5 all week so Anytime after is cool with me. Me: Okay, lets do tomorrow. I drove from Cali, need to do some shopping and find a jacket hehe. Lets meet around 7pm at bellevue square mall. How do I get a hold of you. Her: That could work...maybe a little later..I have to go home after work to change n take my Dog out for a bit... Text me 509.3XX.XXXX I texted her this afternoon at 3pm. She responds around 5pm. I told her I will call her in a few minutes. I set up a Starbucks date (over the phone) in between both our homes at 830pm. So I go in, shes already there. I walk in, gave her a great big smile and hug. She had two couches saved for me. I basically jumped Into rapport stuff with a little bit of humor. Conversation started about how I drove from Cali and the interesting things I saw on the Way. I wore a fitted dress shirt because it was after workout and I wanted to look ripped. It was cold as fuck so I made some excuse how its Sunny in Cali and I forgot to bring my jacket and I didnt have time to buy one. I told her she seemed very extroverted and she's very open. She told me she was Actually quite sHy. I'M like "hmm... interesting". Must be a good thing if I opened her up so fast. So it was about an hour of talking about pretty mundane get to know each other questions. I just basically kept the vibe up. Stuff include where she was from, where was her family, What she studied and worked. But again, I Never ask multiple questions in a row. If I ask a question, I will either tell a similar story of my own, relate to her, tease her, or tell her What it reminded me of. After doing cold approach, it feels like day 2's are fucking 10000x easier. I mean, I can plow for 20 minutes where the girl is not talking, how easy is it to get Into conversations where its 50/50 and the you get to ask lame get to know each other questions? LOL! Its freaking 10pm and Starbucks was about to close, and of course, you can't Really escalate in a fucking coffee shop. The only thing I did at that point was touch her hand. So I tried to bounce her to another location. My friend from HS texted me they were going to a club in downtown Seattle which has a Wed night thing. So I tell her we are going there and she complied. I put it in my phone GPs and showed her it was Only 17 miles away (to build comfort). I am driving down the highway I-5 and as I was going 70, my fucking rear right tire explodes. I pull over to the shoulder and inside my head I am like, oh god, this night is over before it even started, FML. I open the back to find the spare tire but I couldn't find the jack. I called the tow truck guy and he was like, its somewhere in the back near the tire. I didn't realize how small it was. He told me that it was much cheaper and faster for me to change tire myself than to have them come over, so I decide to do that. Inside my head I am like FUCK FUCK FUCK. But then I am thinking to myself, you know, its times like this that girls look at you and see if you are a man and if you can take control when shit breaks loose. So I looked at her and smiled and SaiD, "this night is becoming a crazy adventure, I bet you didn't expect a flat tire did you?". Oh btw, its fucking 1030pm and cold as hell outside. I go out in increments and come back to the car to warm up. First I put up the jack and I go back inside. I tell her to keep me warm by rubbing my arms. While shes doing that, i go for a Kiss. Then I tell her "I bet you Never got a make out while on a shoulder of a highway before?" She laughed. I am thinking in my head, this is cool. She is looking at my face and if I am calm and collected, she will mirror that. And the fact that I framed it as an adventure and I will fix it in no problem, she wasn't too phased by it. So I finally put on the spare (good job for not bringing a jacket, you douche). I get in the car and headed for the club. Wed night, the parking wasnt Bad, rolled right in. I find my friend instantly, and I do my hand shake with him and introduced my girl. While I was talking to my friend, Another old HS buddy comes in with high enthusiasm and high fives me. I am like, cool, I'm getting Social proofed and the girl knows I have friends lol. Basically told her the story of how we knew each other. Since all my friends there were Asian, I whispered in her ear that I have White and Mexican friends too, and she laughed. The club was crowded so it was a good place to escalate kino. I was next to a support column so I locked in and leaned my self against it. Then I talked about her scarf, it was striped and I said it looked like a Bengal scarf. I took it, wrapped it around my neck and have her hold on to it. The lock in was fucking sick.... I looked like a total OG right there Haha. I look around, I see a couple of Black guys and they are doing the same thing.... locked in and having the girl lean Into them. Damn you Black guys born with game! One thing I know is that moving a girl around builds more connection and comfort quickly. I bounced her to the back of the club, its got sofas next to Fish tanks. We took some pictures with the picture guy in the back and then we Sat on the couch, I put my arms around her. I got a make out there. One of the cool things with Mexican girls is that a lot of them are just very chill. They have a calm and collected personality. No crazy bitch Asian chick persona or crazy chick attitude.... just fun, smiling, telling stories and no BS drama. They are also very passionate and I guess escalating wasn't very hard to do. I'm getting hungry. After the gym around 7pm, I had a Light meal. I have this problem with farting due to my high calorie and protein diet that I try not to eat a lot before a date lol. So I took her to China town and we ate at a restaurant. Love Chinatown, they got restaurants open to 3am. Ordered hot and sour soup and Mongolian beef. At this point, I am kind of tired and I wasn't thinking of pushing for a lay since my mouth will taste like damn hot and sour soup but the soup tastes so damn good! We ate and I paid. Here is the thing, I suggested to eat, she wasn't that hungry, It was obvious that I should pay. Again, I usually pay. But also, I usually go eat because I want to eat myself and not because I am trying to impress a girl. Anyways, we hop Into the car and head back. Because I am driving with a stupid spare tire that shouldn't go 55mph, I took the regular road back to the mall where we met up. It was more Chill talking. No State pumping, no crazy kino. I held her hand in the car and rubbed her thighs. We get to her car inside the parking lot Which was underneath the movie theater and it was just me and her car side by side. So I go for Another makeout, and obviously she complies. Then I go for those busty latina boobies and she was cool with that. I'm like, hey this is pretty cool, her breath doesn't smell like hot and sour soup anymore (I gave her gum after the restaurant). I ask her about when we are hanging out again, she said Friday. After more kissing. She gets amped up, and I asked her if she wants to continue now or Friday, she says Friday. I am thinking to myself, god dammit, Friday is my going out day where I get to practice cold approaching. Lets make it happen tonight! So I basically rub her in her jeans and she agrees to go to the back seat with me. Anyways, as we were about to take off our pants, the fucking garbage / brush cleaner truck goes Into the fucking parking lot cleaning. The truck circled around my car like 20 times, I am like why is he doing that? I am thinking to my self, OMG I am getting cock blocked by a damn truck! Then I realized that my headlights are on... OMFG! I quickly turned it off but I think the truck guy knew whats up. After 10 minutes they left and we continued. And then the security car drives by, stopped for 5 seconds and then left!!! I thought it was gonna be over and that I would be arrested for public indecency... luckily, my car is 90% tinted and we fogged up the windows pretty good. Also, next time, note to self, park normally please.... I parked literally in between two parking lines. The rest was history. First day in Seattle and already a lay. Also first lay off PlentyofFish. Online gaming is definitely a lot easier when you start off in cold approach.
To each his own but i'm just wondering if you ever feel bad for doing this? I'm not good at picking up women and could probably use some help but this all seem like such a contrived way of doing it.
From most of your posts i get the feeling like you don't give a shit about the girls and it's all about sex/ego. Do you ever tell girls you do this kind of thing? What if you meet someone who's actually worth sticking with? Do you tell her you've recorded yourself hitting on hundreds women and that you put alot of it online for others to see?
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is awesome32236 Posts
On December 23 2011 01:03 Dariusz wrote:Show nested quote +On December 23 2011 00:53 IntoTheWow wrote: It's no different on reading a book on football written by some dude that plays soccer for a random team. Out of every book that could turn out to be good, 999 will be shit. I think you're really biased, because it's true for any other field. Majority of the books and other material about anything is poorly written and/or made by people who have no idea what they're talking about. That doesnt mean that there is no good books/coaches dedicated to this subject, looks like you just haven't found any yet.
How am I biased?
And of course it's true for a lot of fields. That's why you have lots of shitty self-help books out there, or even less serious stuff.
This being true on many fields doesn't make it any less wrong.
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On December 23 2011 00:53 IntoTheWow wrote: It makes me laugh. It's not that I don't think it works, but 99% of it is like reading those bad self-help books: just a way to make money.
it seems to me that you've encountered the wrong side of Pickup..
for example i like to read this guys blog.
http://www.bradbranson.com/bald-eagle-was-pretty-cool/
in this article for example it's not about pickup in the first place but about life. this guy has not studied philosophy but i feel somewhat conntected to the way he thinks and thats why i like to read his stuff. i could try to read some science paper (which i did) but i like it more if i completely understand what he is talking about.
if you'r interested read more of his blog. imo very good stuff.
the scene has developed MUCH in the last years and there is some old stuff out there which is imho very very bad.
greets gugarutz
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On December 23 2011 00:53 IntoTheWow wrote: After reading this thread I've gotten curious and read a bit on pick up.
It makes me laugh. It's not that I don't think it works, but 99% of it is like reading those bad self-help books: just a way to make money.
I mean, there's books being written by people who:
Don't know how to write, put graphs in their articles that make zero sense (like, they are missing a name on an axis or using arbitrary curves to show how humans behave, a curve to show how humans socially behave, LOL), have no sense of scientific writing, etc.
I mean, if people feel they are getting help, or it works as a placebo for them to lose fear, more power to them. But:
There's a reason there are professionals out there. There are for professionals who deal with people with social stigmas/problems, that work on marriages, on sex, etc. These are people that studied and know how to approach people to solve their problems. Most of them also know how to write a book.
If you are looking to share sex experiences, sure, there's always friends, internet forums.
But having random dudes write about social behavior is pretty laughable from any serious point of view and it won't withstand any serious analysis.
It's no different on reading a book on football written by some dude that plays soccer for a random team. Out of every book that could turn out to be good, 999 will be shit. I completely agree with you. "Pick up" is basically a brand of self-help guide(s). And of course the authors of self-help books write said books to sell said books... helping the readers is a secondary concern. In other words, the lion's share of the content is meant to meet the expectations of the reader, and to make them feel good about themselves, not to teach them anything (that's what science is for). So, of course the "pick up artists" claim that everybody can learn to be Casanova 2.0... because the truth would result in disappointed readers. Basically, it's just the complete reversal of Hollywood's "stay true to yourself, be patient, meet your soulmate" - which is equally absurd.
I only somewhat agree with you that there's inherently nothing wrong with that, even if I tend to see it as what you called a placebo. However, what's a little concerning to me is the ubiquitous back noise of gender animosity... while I'm sure that relationships of every kind involve some kind of strategizing, I fail to see the reason why I should bother with a woman that I don't feel some basic sympathy for - but whenever self-proclaimed pick up artists are talking about their achievements, I see the image of Tom Cruise's character from Magnolia ("Tame the pussy! Worship the cock!") before my eyes.
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is awesome32236 Posts
On December 23 2011 01:54 Poffel wrote: I only somewhat agree with you that there's inherently nothing wrong with that
Well, it's just as bad as those weight loss pills. Where do you draw the line between what's smart marketing and what's hurting the end user ?
ps: haha, Yeah I was thinking of Tom Cruise's character as I was thinking about this too!
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On December 23 2011 01:05 IntoTheWow wrote:Show nested quote +On December 23 2011 01:03 Dariusz wrote:On December 23 2011 00:53 IntoTheWow wrote: It's no different on reading a book on football written by some dude that plays soccer for a random team. Out of every book that could turn out to be good, 999 will be shit. I think you're really biased, because it's true for any other field. Majority of the books and other material about anything is poorly written and/or made by people who have no idea what they're talking about. That doesnt mean that there is no good books/coaches dedicated to this subject, looks like you just haven't found any yet. How am I biased? And of course it's true for a lot of fields. That's why you have lots of shitty self-help books out there, or even less serious stuff. This being true on many fields doesn't make it any less wrong.
What sort of "professionals" is it that you are advocating? It would seem obvious to me that the people who have material which is most likely to be good/helpful, would be of the people who have gone out pretty much every day for years, and who have spent every weekend coaching people, out in 'the field', and is known for creating good results, and are always trying to improve their methods, and looking at this to some extent from a point of view of "How can I do this better\more efficiently." (For example Brad Branson linked on this page ^_^) . Not some psych major who has decided to study the field of male to female relationships. To me this seems like comparing the "book"/content written by a 5 time superbowl winning coach/football player, and some guy who has studied football at a university but never actually played much himself.
That being said there is indeed a looot of bad material\things being thrown around, and also a lot that might work on the surface, but can easily be missapllied or have bad 'side effects' (f.ex routines.) But a lot of people seem to think that that is all there is, which is not true. If you are able to seperate the wheat from the chaff then I believe that absolutely anyone new to the community can get something good out of it. Also a lot of people seem to think that it is being advocated to just read a lot and then you can learn how to become good with women. Absolutely anyone with any success with women through 'the community' at all, will say that what is absolutely most important by far, is going out and talking to people/women and getting experience, not how much you read.
But for a lot of people JUST going out and trying a lot will either require a loooot of effort, or not lead anywhere, not to mention this can be very hard to do for anyone even if they do have some guidelines, without any whatsoever it would be even more intimidating. Which is why something like 'the community' exists.
Edit:
On December 23 2011 02:08 IntoTheWow wrote:Show nested quote +On December 23 2011 01:54 Poffel wrote: I only somewhat agree with you that there's inherently nothing wrong with that Well, it's just as bad as those weight loss pills. Where do you draw the line between what's smart marketing and what's hurting the end user ? ps: haha, Yeah I was thinking of Tom Cruise's character as I was thinking about this too!
Although slightly unrelated, weight loss is a pretty good comparison. There is a shitton of bad advice, and even more bad products, on how to loose weight spread all over the internet. (And also, anything that is about, or promises, an easy fix\magic pill sort of deal, is most likely no good.) But that does not mean there is no good way to lose weight, or nothing to learn about it, and that everything that is about losing weight is made to scam people out of their money and has no useful information whatsoever. In the same way that there is a lot of bad advice\quick fixes\bad products just trying to cash in all over the internet, but there are still a lot of good resources with good material also.
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On December 23 2011 00:53 IntoTheWow wrote: After reading this thread I've gotten curious and read a bit on pick up.
It makes me laugh. It's not that I don't think it works, but 99% of it is like reading those bad self-help books: just a way to make money.
I mean, there's books being written by people who:
Don't know how to write, put graphs in their articles that make zero sense (like, they are missing a name on an axis or using arbitrary curves to show how humans behave, a curve to show how humans socially behave, LOL), have no sense of scientific writing, etc.
I mean, if people feel they are getting help, or it works as a placebo for them to lose fear, more power to them. But:
There's a reason there are professionals out there. There are for professionals who deal with people with social stigmas/problems, that work on marriages, on sex, etc. These are people that studied and know how to approach people to solve their problems. Most of them also know how to write a book.
If you are looking to share sex experiences, sure, there's always friends, internet forums.
But having random dudes write about social behavior is pretty laughable from any serious point of view and it won't withstand any serious analysis.
It's no different on reading a book on football written by some dude that plays soccer for a random team. Out of every book that could turn out to be good, 999 will be shit.
I agree with you.
From all the books I have read on Pickup (same goes for most material on stuff like NLP, standard social crap (just think about all the body language books out there), martial arts and poker btw) 99% is either complete bullshit or way too basic to make more than the first few steps.
I remember e.g. a well sold book on the german market (In case anyone cares "Lob des Sexismus") by a guy with like 10k posts in the most well known german pickup forum with solid advice as like "If she's crying it's drama. Just ignore it, escalate and fuck her. That's all that she wants when she's crying. Period. " - good luck having a healthy relationship with that.
Another gem of his was around the lines of a theory (which he actually stole anyway) that every single girl on this planet can be fit into 4 categories: HSE/LSE and HD/LD. HSE/LSE standing for high/low self esteem and HD/LD standing for high/low sexual drive.
This guy is seen as a god amongst men for most pickup newbies in germany. Why? Because he offers them an easy way out of their misery. "Ah, lol, nah, that bitch was totally LSE, no need to worry about it." - "All my previous girls were LSE and tried to manipulate me cause of it, it wasn't my fault after all!"
People, first of all, want to feel good about themselves. That does not mean that they want to HAVE good things in their life. They just want to feel good about them. I can't even tell how crucial this is. If you scroll up and read squattins latest "lay report" the whole deal was sealed after her answering to that specfic message. From that point on, all he had to do was NOT FUCK UP. Shooting that message randomly to girls is the equivalent of approaching with "Hey, wanna fuck?" - Yes, you have about a 1:40 chance (also yes, I'm pulling that number out of my ass) that it works.
The point is: If a girl stays talking with you after making your intentions this clear it is incredibly likely that she wants an easy quick evening with some random guy and, even more important, not to be bored by conversation. That's the very fundament of every numbers game.
Then, why bother with all the write up? Because it makes you feel better. I've written a LR myself once with over 2-3 pages in word and posted them in forums. One day a buddy who was coaching for 8+ years at that point walked up to me when we went out together and said "Dude, do you realize that you posted 95% of that shit so that everyone thinks you're some major pickup baller and 5% where you fucked up and needed actual advice?"
People want to feel good. It's natural. Filter out all the bullshit in a book/post that's designed to make people randomly feel good about themselves any you get to the material that makes sense and works in practice.
Some random books I just found in my collection which did not land in the trashbin quickly (I don't even remember most of their contents, but they can't be the worst of the ones out there if I kept them.):
#Gambler - Natural game #Juggler - How to be a pickup artist #Savoy - Magic Bullets (I remember this one, that was good) #Gunwitch - Gunwitch Method (I also recommend his audiobooks, this guy is good)
I also still recommend books by mystery. Not because it's the most refined stuff but it's the most technical stuff out there. There are very, very few situations you can't analyze properly if you apply mysteries concepts correctly. However, it is critical that you keep in mind where all that stuff came from. (e.g. the whole negging theory is utter bullshit for anyone with a solid direct game or 98% of the women you're approaching in general.)
On December 22 2011 15:38 Catch wrote: @r.Evo. I pretty much have agreed with everything you've said so far. Despite me still being new, I don't really go for the whole technical aspect of PUA (openers, negs, all that jazz). It doesn't appeal to me and doesn't even really make sense to me either. Like you said, I think it is a stepping stone for most people. The problem is when people are stuck in that zone.
To be honest, I don't even know if most PUAs know what type of girl they want. Sure, going to a night club is going to get you a ton of variety, but it is also going to get you a ton of superficiality. I don't know, the way I look at it is to first even decide what you want to do, you have to decide what you like and then go after your type of girl there. For example, I'm really into athletic girls because lifting is probably my biggest hobby. One of the places I could go would be a gym or a sporting event. I always immediately connect with chicks who are really into nutrition or fitness.That would be one of my targets, but I don't think most guys do this.
I think it's why some men are so successful in inner game is because they realize this. Say you liked athletic girls as well, you'd probably be a little bit more out of touch with say some chick really into politics or an avid TV watcher. Can you still have success with em? Sure, but it won't be easier, and it might not even be as fun.
Try reducing the "technical aspect of PUA" as you call it to it's very foundation. Are you comfortable opening a girl that looks interesting to you (in a café, on the streets, a nightclub or your buddys private party) and starting a converstation that's comfortable for her? If yes, no need to bother with opening theory. If no, try some non-retarded canned material to get you comfy at first.
For negs I'll tell you what I tell any new guy: Forget about them. Don't neg. Ever. However, tease all fucking day. "Awww, you're cute when you say that."
The idea of negging is that a) your value is below hers (very common when indirectly approaching girls who perceive themselves as being of high value) and b) the girl you're approaching is confident enough to deal with it.
If you open her with a "Hey, I just saw you standing you over here and I think you're incredibly attractive. - Also I've bitten myself in the ass if I wouldn't have told you that and I can guarantee you it would make me look pretty damn silly. Hi, I'm xy, who are you?" you're setting a frame of "I chose you." and "I'm the guy with the big balls walking over here and telling you that." - THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON TO ASK HER IF HER HAIR IS REAL AFTERWARDS.
Your frame already established who has how much value right with this type of opening. - In these types of cases what the random PUA perceives as "neg" is nothing more than an insult.
However, if you are a sneaky bastard and are talking to the guy who is apparently their driver4life while they're at the bathroom, the girls come back and you let that off a comment about her hair right after she's introduced to you and then ignore her and keep talking about how you love this place to their damn driver (and, even better, the other, not so pretty girls in the group) now that was a right place for a neg.
(For the record: I have never in my life used that stupid "is your hair real?"-neg 'cause I have yet to find a girl attractive where that might be true. =P)
@The rant about where to find what you want to find: Screening. Not much more to say here. Whether you screen your potential targets via bodylanguage, by hearing what they talked about, clothing, accessoires, whatever - the basic idea is to a) filter out all the girls you're not into before even approaching them and b) quickly filter out girls that don't suit you're criterias within the first few minutes.
For me I would say I usually aim to knowing about the major points within the first 10ish minutes. Like for me right now my main problem is that I have a hell of a hard time screening in a subtle way for bisexuality. If it's a random club where I can be pretty direct about it, it's no big deal. However, in social circle settings I'm stuck with shifting the topic over there and hurpdurping around the lines of "Have you ever kissed a girl?".
Since I aim to apply most of my "pickuping" very subtle and elegant this isn't the exact option I'm looking for. My usual worst case scenario where I want all of my "material" to work is when picking up a girl with her dad/mom standing next to her and without them noticing before it's too late. =P
Obviously that'd be the extreme case, but I'd say I'm able to get about 98% of my basic screening/attraction/comfort stuff done under these circumstances. Trying to get that working with sexual preferences however leaves me pretty lost. Finding out into which type of kinky stuff she is exactly seems to me almost impossible at this point, however I'm pretty sure that there must be some kind of way. =S
tl;dr: If you want a girl that's athletic, loves her mother, hates her uncle, loves kittens, hates dogs, is totally into hip-hop and has a degree in mathematics (lolol), find ways to screen for that quickly within the first few minutes. What's called "screening" in the pickup-lingo is usually part of the normal process of getting to know each other, however if you apply it correctly you make the conscious decision to find out certain things quickly - and not in 3 weeks.
Edit: lolol, just started reading some pages in the books I recommended cause I wanted to make sure they're the right ones. Found this gem in "Magic Bullets": + Show Spoiler +This is part of the reason why meeting women can be stressful and frustrating for men. Our brains are configured to accomplish a series of logically-connected tasks to reach a goal. Say you’re setting up a campsite with some friends. Your overall goal is to survive the night in some comfort. You know that to survive in comfort, you need to build a tent, start a fire, and so on. And for each objective, you can learn the steps required to make it happen. Most men are intellectually comfortable in this sort of situation.
Succeeding with women is more complicated because meeting women is an interactive process, and people’s personalities are unique, complex, and variable. In contrast, your campsite doesn’t care how you build a fire. You don’t have to be subtle or worry about embarrassing it in front of its friends. Matches don’t go in and out of emotional states where they sometimes want to be lit and sometimes they want to go home.
That comparison is A++ imo. =D
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On December 23 2011 00:53 IntoTheWow wrote: After reading this thread I've gotten curious and read a bit on pick up.
It makes me laugh. It's not that I don't think it works, but 99% of it is like reading those bad self-help books: just a way to make money.
I mean, there's books being written by people who:
Don't know how to write, put graphs in their articles that make zero sense (like, they are missing a name on an axis or using arbitrary curves to show how humans behave, a curve to show how humans socially behave, LOL), have no sense of scientific writing, etc.
I mean, if people feel they are getting help, or it works as a placebo for them to lose fear, more power to them. But:
There's a reason there are professionals out there. There are for professionals who deal with people with social stigmas/problems, that work on marriages, on sex, etc. These are people that studied and know how to approach people to solve their problems. Most of them also know how to write a book.
If you are looking to share sex experiences, sure, there's always friends, internet forums.
But having random dudes write about social behavior is pretty laughable from any serious point of view and it won't withstand any serious analysis.
It's no different on reading a book on football written by some dude that plays soccer for a random team. Out of every book that could turn out to be good, 999 will be shit.
Yes, pickup is an industry and yes, there are a lot of fake gurus out there. BUT, there are also a lot of amazing guys out there. You just have to be smart enough to know whos legit, and that takes time and research just like EVERYTHING else out there. Stupid people get taken advantage of. Thats the thing, unlike doctors and dentists, there is not credited process. You can slap on a website and proclaim yourself as guru, hell look at Mehow. That dude is one creeper guy and doesnt get laid but hes sold a lot of products.
Its actually funny, you read some peoples posts and field reports and you think these guys are the shit. Then you meet them in real life and you are like WTF! You are the guy I read about on the forums!?!? Lmao. Yeah, its pretty disappointing a lot of times.
That having said, I met my friend at the PUA summit back in 2010. And when you hang out with a lot of gurus, and you talk about each other, you kind of become an insider and they will quickly tell you whos legit and whos full of shit.
Who said pick up was easy? Its never meant to be handed down to you on a platter. Its still your job to find the right person to learn and its your job to put in hours of in-field work. This is why being in the field is so important. You can never tell whos really legit reading about them on the internet. But just by hanging out with them, its a lot easier to tell. Its much harder to fake it in real life than in person. Some of the PUAs that I trust are:
Adam Lyons DJ Fuji El Topo Sinn
If you want some good material, here is a good website. All the topics are on the right. http://www.girlschase.com/content/social-circle-vs-cold-approach
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On December 23 2011 01:05 karpo wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2011 21:47 squattincassanova wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Lay Report Seattle Wed Dec 22So I get home to Seattle on Tuesday night after driving 2 days from Las Vegas. I hit up all my friends on Facebook; then I hit up PlentyofFish. Its the middle of the week, and I thought I would jump start setting up dates. Basically created a second account for Seattle just a few days prior. Its an exact replica of my other profile. I Start blasting 40 pages of chicks with this opener: Title: "Open This Message" Message: "Here is the deal - no bullsh*tabout how you "seem like a really cool person". I just thought you were adorable and want to meet you. Let's go out some time." To be Honest, this probably isn't the best opener. I have Never used it before now and I'm using it because my friend tried it and said it worked for him. I think for this opener to work, you have to have a decent profile. And basically the opener is designed so that if she likes you, it sets up the date very fast. Its more of a cut the bullshit message. I got her number in 3 messages: Me: Here is the deal - no bullsh*tabout how you "seem like a really cool person". I just thought you were adorable and want to meet you. Let's go out some time. Her: Lol well gees..I like the up front honesty ....sounds good to me! Me: Cool I Love Hispanic girls, lets do coffee shop. I'm only visiting for a bit, visiting family for the holidays. Whats your schedule like? Her: Sounds like a plan...i work in redmond...I'm working 9-5 all week so Anytime after is cool with me. Me: Okay, lets do tomorrow. I drove from Cali, need to do some shopping and find a jacket hehe. Lets meet around 7pm at bellevue square mall. How do I get a hold of you. Her: That could work...maybe a little later..I have to go home after work to change n take my Dog out for a bit... Text me 509.3XX.XXXX I texted her this afternoon at 3pm. She responds around 5pm. I told her I will call her in a few minutes. I set up a Starbucks date (over the phone) in between both our homes at 830pm. So I go in, shes already there. I walk in, gave her a great big smile and hug. She had two couches saved for me. I basically jumped Into rapport stuff with a little bit of humor. Conversation started about how I drove from Cali and the interesting things I saw on the Way. I wore a fitted dress shirt because it was after workout and I wanted to look ripped. It was cold as fuck so I made some excuse how its Sunny in Cali and I forgot to bring my jacket and I didnt have time to buy one. I told her she seemed very extroverted and she's very open. She told me she was Actually quite sHy. I'M like "hmm... interesting". Must be a good thing if I opened her up so fast. So it was about an hour of talking about pretty mundane get to know each other questions. I just basically kept the vibe up. Stuff include where she was from, where was her family, What she studied and worked. But again, I Never ask multiple questions in a row. If I ask a question, I will either tell a similar story of my own, relate to her, tease her, or tell her What it reminded me of. After doing cold approach, it feels like day 2's are fucking 10000x easier. I mean, I can plow for 20 minutes where the girl is not talking, how easy is it to get Into conversations where its 50/50 and the you get to ask lame get to know each other questions? LOL! Its freaking 10pm and Starbucks was about to close, and of course, you can't Really escalate in a fucking coffee shop. The only thing I did at that point was touch her hand. So I tried to bounce her to another location. My friend from HS texted me they were going to a club in downtown Seattle which has a Wed night thing. So I tell her we are going there and she complied. I put it in my phone GPs and showed her it was Only 17 miles away (to build comfort). I am driving down the highway I-5 and as I was going 70, my fucking rear right tire explodes. I pull over to the shoulder and inside my head I am like, oh god, this night is over before it even started, FML. I open the back to find the spare tire but I couldn't find the jack. I called the tow truck guy and he was like, its somewhere in the back near the tire. I didn't realize how small it was. He told me that it was much cheaper and faster for me to change tire myself than to have them come over, so I decide to do that. Inside my head I am like FUCK FUCK FUCK. But then I am thinking to myself, you know, its times like this that girls look at you and see if you are a man and if you can take control when shit breaks loose. So I looked at her and smiled and SaiD, "this night is becoming a crazy adventure, I bet you didn't expect a flat tire did you?". Oh btw, its fucking 1030pm and cold as hell outside. I go out in increments and come back to the car to warm up. First I put up the jack and I go back inside. I tell her to keep me warm by rubbing my arms. While shes doing that, i go for a Kiss. Then I tell her "I bet you Never got a make out while on a shoulder of a highway before?" She laughed. I am thinking in my head, this is cool. She is looking at my face and if I am calm and collected, she will mirror that. And the fact that I framed it as an adventure and I will fix it in no problem, she wasn't too phased by it. So I finally put on the spare (good job for not bringing a jacket, you douche). I get in the car and headed for the club. Wed night, the parking wasnt Bad, rolled right in. I find my friend instantly, and I do my hand shake with him and introduced my girl. While I was talking to my friend, Another old HS buddy comes in with high enthusiasm and high fives me. I am like, cool, I'm getting Social proofed and the girl knows I have friends lol. Basically told her the story of how we knew each other. Since all my friends there were Asian, I whispered in her ear that I have White and Mexican friends too, and she laughed. The club was crowded so it was a good place to escalate kino. I was next to a support column so I locked in and leaned my self against it. Then I talked about her scarf, it was striped and I said it looked like a Bengal scarf. I took it, wrapped it around my neck and have her hold on to it. The lock in was fucking sick.... I looked like a total OG right there Haha. I look around, I see a couple of Black guys and they are doing the same thing.... locked in and having the girl lean Into them. Damn you Black guys born with game! One thing I know is that moving a girl around builds more connection and comfort quickly. I bounced her to the back of the club, its got sofas next to Fish tanks. We took some pictures with the picture guy in the back and then we Sat on the couch, I put my arms around her. I got a make out there. One of the cool things with Mexican girls is that a lot of them are just very chill. They have a calm and collected personality. No crazy bitch Asian chick persona or crazy chick attitude.... just fun, smiling, telling stories and no BS drama. They are also very passionate and I guess escalating wasn't very hard to do. I'm getting hungry. After the gym around 7pm, I had a Light meal. I have this problem with farting due to my high calorie and protein diet that I try not to eat a lot before a date lol. So I took her to China town and we ate at a restaurant. Love Chinatown, they got restaurants open to 3am. Ordered hot and sour soup and Mongolian beef. At this point, I am kind of tired and I wasn't thinking of pushing for a lay since my mouth will taste like damn hot and sour soup but the soup tastes so damn good! We ate and I paid. Here is the thing, I suggested to eat, she wasn't that hungry, It was obvious that I should pay. Again, I usually pay. But also, I usually go eat because I want to eat myself and not because I am trying to impress a girl. Anyways, we hop Into the car and head back. Because I am driving with a stupid spare tire that shouldn't go 55mph, I took the regular road back to the mall where we met up. It was more Chill talking. No State pumping, no crazy kino. I held her hand in the car and rubbed her thighs. We get to her car inside the parking lot Which was underneath the movie theater and it was just me and her car side by side. So I go for Another makeout, and obviously she complies. Then I go for those busty latina boobies and she was cool with that. I'm like, hey this is pretty cool, her breath doesn't smell like hot and sour soup anymore (I gave her gum after the restaurant). I ask her about when we are hanging out again, she said Friday. After more kissing. She gets amped up, and I asked her if she wants to continue now or Friday, she says Friday. I am thinking to myself, god dammit, Friday is my going out day where I get to practice cold approaching. Lets make it happen tonight! So I basically rub her in her jeans and she agrees to go to the back seat with me. Anyways, as we were about to take off our pants, the fucking garbage / brush cleaner truck goes Into the fucking parking lot cleaning. The truck circled around my car like 20 times, I am like why is he doing that? I am thinking to my self, OMG I am getting cock blocked by a damn truck! Then I realized that my headlights are on... OMFG! I quickly turned it off but I think the truck guy knew whats up. After 10 minutes they left and we continued. And then the security car drives by, stopped for 5 seconds and then left!!! I thought it was gonna be over and that I would be arrested for public indecency... luckily, my car is 90% tinted and we fogged up the windows pretty good. Also, next time, note to self, park normally please.... I parked literally in between two parking lines. The rest was history. First day in Seattle and already a lay. Also first lay off PlentyofFish. Online gaming is definitely a lot easier when you start off in cold approach. To each his own but i'm just wondering if you ever feel bad for doing this? I'm not good at picking up women and could probably use some help but this all seem like such a contrived way of doing it. From most of your posts i get the feeling like you don't give a shit about the girls and it's all about sex/ego. Do you ever tell girls you do this kind of thing? What if you meet someone who's actually worth sticking with? Do you tell her you've recorded yourself hitting on hundreds women and that you put alot of it online for others to see?
I don't feel bad at all. The girl had a great time and so did I. We talked about our interests, what we wanted to do. We had fun dancing, ate great food.
She was completely relaxed, I never at one point pushed her to do anything she didn't want to do. She knows I have options, she knows that I am not going to act needy and clingy. If she doesn't want to do something, I am totally cool with it. UNLIKE all the other creeper guys on PlentyofFish who send perverted messages and are in general a douche bag. I held doors for her, acted chivalrous, and kept her calm when the tire blew out. During the last part of the night, she pretty much escalated on me for the most part. She obviously wanted it. Now, is she the girl I want to marry? Probably not. But we still had a great time and she wished she met more guys like me online.
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On December 23 2011 03:18 r.Evo wrote: Some random books I just found in my collection which did not land in the trashbin quickly (I don't even remember most of their contents, but they can't be the worst of the ones out there if I kept them.):
#Gambler - Natural game #Juggler - How to be a pickup artist #Savoy - Magic Bullets (I remember this one, that was good) #Gunwitch - Gunwitch Method (I also recommend his audiobooks, this guy is good)
You mean this guy? LMAO
http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=10018
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On December 23 2011 07:11 squattincassanova wrote:Show nested quote +On December 23 2011 03:18 r.Evo wrote: Some random books I just found in my collection which did not land in the trashbin quickly (I don't even remember most of their contents, but they can't be the worst of the ones out there if I kept them.):
#Gambler - Natural game #Juggler - How to be a pickup artist #Savoy - Magic Bullets (I remember this one, that was good) #Gunwitch - Gunwitch Method (I also recommend his audiobooks, this guy is good)
You mean this guy? LMAO http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=10018
Yup, exactly this guy.
Considering his book / audiobooks are from 2002-2003, the incident you linked (which you did to make my post look stupid without criticizing any of it's content since that is beyond your current capabilities) was no shock to me personally. If you think about how many of the "top PUAs" have serious issues ranging from narcissm, bipolar personality disorder, the ability to not have close relationships (can't find the damn correct english word for this) all the way to borderline disorder it's quite likely that you find proportionally many people in this community who "snap" sooner or later.
Oh, but since you mentioned it, Adam Lyons is pretty baller. He's most likely the guy who has what he calls "social circle game" down best. <3
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I met Adam Lyons in hollywood during the pua summit this year. He used to play a ton of blizzard games haha. His favorite ite is diablo.
Pickup doesn't buy happiness. I prefer gurus that have other areas of their lives handled such as business, lifestyle. My friend used to be close with Mystery. Mystery isn't exacly balling. He's perpetually depressed and for how well known he is he should have a lot of money but he doesn't. I give him credit for revolutionizing pickup but his style is old school and many are outdated. Its like first generation SC players verses now. Its a lot different. His concepts of negging, dhv, and indirect are actually quite inappropriate most of the time.
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My demographic for women. AKA what I look for.
Athletic. Intellectual Curiosity. Fun/Spontaneous Positive "Homey"
---- I am very attracted to women with an athletic build; a background in health is also very important because it really allows me to click and relate with women. For example, I met a nutritionist at another college and we immediately gravitated to each other. I've only heard it from one other person, but intellectual curiosity is basically curiosity on how the world works, perhaps based on their passions or whatever. This also brings in intelligence, which is another big one for me. Fun and spontaneous because well, I don't want to always be the one coming up with stuff to do, say, and all that. I had to put up with that with my last ex, and it was one of the reasons I ended the relationship. Finally, positiveness is another big thing (another reason my last relationship ended). I have been told multiple times that I am one of the most positive people. I can't stand negativity or anything associated with it. Seems to bring other negative qualities (ex: girls never feeling good enough, always needing me to validate them, never being happy with what they have, ect) that I don't want. Homey as in I prefer girls that are more down to earth, relaxed, and don't have 62 pounds of make up when they dress up. Not superficial I guess, is another way to put it. If they don't have substance, I won't be sticking around.
Does this sound good? Am I missing anything? Too specific? Too general?
I should have added respectful of other opinions, if not open minded. But this also goes with intellectual curosity a bit. I figured I'd put it here for the record.
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Jesus Christ, this preworkout drink is killing my boner.... dont ever taked Jack3d, especially not taking it at the gym 4 hours before a date.
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On December 27 2011 08:25 Catch wrote: My demographic for women. AKA what I look for.
Athletic. Intellectual Curiosity. Fun/Spontaneous Positive "Homey"
----
Does this sound good? Am I missing anything? Too specific? Too general?
I should have added respectful of other opinions, if not open minded. But this also goes with intellectual curosity a bit. I figured I'd put it here for the record.
Don't ask others if what you want is right or wrong It may be too specific for someone, too general for someone else, but you shouldn't care about it. Knowing what you want is very important tho.
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On December 27 2011 08:25 Catch wrote: My demographic for women. AKA what I look for.
Athletic. Intellectual Curiosity. Fun/Spontaneous Positive "Homey"
---- I am very attracted to women with an athletic build; a background in health is also very important because it really allows me to click and relate with women. For example, I met a nutritionist at another college and we immediately gravitated to each other. I've only heard it from one other person, but intellectual curiosity is basically curiosity on how the world works, perhaps based on their passions or whatever. This also brings in intelligence, which is another big one for me. Fun and spontaneous because well, I don't want to always be the one coming up with stuff to do, say, and all that. I had to put up with that with my last ex, and it was one of the reasons I ended the relationship. Finally, positiveness is another big thing (another reason my last relationship ended). I have been told multiple times that I am one of the most positive people. I can't stand negativity or anything associated with it. Seems to bring other negative qualities (ex: girls never feeling good enough, always needing me to validate them, never being happy with what they have, ect) that I don't want. Homey as in I prefer girls that are more down to earth, relaxed, and don't have 62 pounds of make up when they dress up. Not superficial I guess, is another way to put it. If they don't have substance, I won't be sticking around.
Does this sound good? Am I missing anything? Too specific? Too general?
I should have added respectful of other opinions, if not open minded. But this also goes with intellectual curosity a bit. I figured I'd put it here for the record.
That's already a great start imo. However, right now you have the problem of conveying that and/or screening for it. Why? Because, unless you frame her behaviour into what you want for this night (that's more of a mindset I'd use for one-night stands and stuff like that) it's boring as hell to screen for those "values" or "characteristics" in a conversation.
Try to rephrase that entire list into "I love xy" and "I hate xy".
Conversation A: "I'd like to meet an intelligent girl who doesn't have tons of make up on." Conversation B: "I love witty girls who can smack down random guys in a discussion and I hate it when girls wear loads of make up."
By sticking to this type of thinking you're more likely to use statements instead of questions ("You totally look as if you're studying medicine, right?" instead of "What are you studying?", usually best combined with some kind of tease. e.g. for me I ask like 80% of the girls I find attractive whether they study social pedagogy or chemistry. If they ask "why?" they get the "Well, you look a bit like it.") any you also (and this is imo like 90% of a good pickup) you convey personality. This one is huge.
Girls aren't into a guy who "Would like some of this and maybe some of that" - they are usually most attracted by a guy who says "Those are the things I love, those are the things I hate. That's my world. Deal with it or gtfo, I can live well without people who share my views." - Don't be afraid of strong statements. It is YOUR job to create the initial attraction and THE GIRLS job to create the initial comfort. (obv not true in all cases, but let's roll with this for now). An attracted girl will show approval- and or rapport-seeking behaviour.
Guy: Hey, what music are you into? Girl: Uh, almost anything, besides like hip-hop and rap. Guy: Are you kidding me? I LOVE most hip-hop and rap. There's so much good stuff out there. Girl: Uh, well, I don't know that much. But someone like Eminem is totally not my thing. Guy: WHAT THE HELL?! EMINEM IS MY FAVORITE RAPPER. He has so many great songs. Girl: Oh, well, I guess I haven't heard all of his stuff yet.
Obviously blown out of proportion but that's the most classic case of rapport-seeking behaviour I can think of right now. If a girl finds you attractive it is very likely that she will cut some corners here and there to "make it happen". Also in case you get into a relationship with her she will spend the rest of her life trying to fix those "bad parts" you have while also hoping that you'll never give them up. (;
Does that make sense?
Bonus plan: If you're a real douche you don't make it easy for her to find the rapport with you to verify that you have her hooked properly. e.g. I look more like the metal/rock/goth type of guy and when it would come to the music discussion I would never, never bring up that type of music. Why? If I get a goth-type girl to admit that she finds hip-hop okay (LOLOL YEAH RIGHT) or a trance/techno kind of girl that she's into rap music or a hip-hop/rap chick that she's into metal I just KNOW that she's mine already.
Imo a strong game when it comes to screening establishes strong rapport, teases a lot and throws her hoop after hoop that she can jump through. However, make sure to adjust those hoops to what you want exactly. I usually set up pretty hard ones since I'm into girls who have their own head, meaning if I get a girl attracted to me and she refuses to bend her values for me, that's a girl I want to be with. - However, the more you tease and the bigger your hoops are, the stronger your ability to establish rapport/comfort/connection has to be; - otherwise you just look like some random jerk who's having fun on her cost.
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What I meant with "Because, unless you frame her behaviour into what you want for this night (that's more of a mindset I'd use for one-night stands and stuff like that)" earlier is around the lines of:
I want a one night stand. What qualities should a girl have that I can have fun with tonight? -she is spontaneous. -she is adventurous. -she takes what she likes. -she is not afraid of judgement. -she is discrete.
Then you force her via a short story or statement into showing one of those qualities ("Have you ever done something completely crazy?" "blablabla") and reward her for the quality you want to have in her ("Wow, you're the spontaneous type of girl, I like that."). This type of qualifying is pretty cookie-cutter and has proven effective for me, however I never really got into it since it's kind of a way of putting a paper bag over her had and pretending she's someone else. I dno, this type of style just never felt natural to me, however, it's highly effective and I think the quickest (conversational) way I've gotten easy access to girls. Obviously in some cases you can straight up escalate on the dance floor and stuff like that, but yeah.
Keep in mind that for BOTH OF THESE THINGS it is vital that you SPARKED ATTRACTION FIRST, otherwise you'll crash and burn pretty hard. Which also means, if you do crash during these types of conversation you somehow fucked up in getting her attracted.
On another note to you & others, since I'm sick as hell, can barely talk and am living of soup and more soup right now... feel free to shout random questions or describe situations you had trouble with and I'll analyze them as good as I can. At least that beats trying to play minecraft just to find out that my head will explode when I have to think in 3D. T_T
Edit:
On December 27 2011 18:07 Dariusz wrote:Show nested quote +On December 27 2011 08:25 Catch wrote: My demographic for women. AKA what I look for.
Athletic. Intellectual Curiosity. Fun/Spontaneous Positive "Homey"
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Does this sound good? Am I missing anything? Too specific? Too general?
I should have added respectful of other opinions, if not open minded. But this also goes with intellectual curosity a bit. I figured I'd put it here for the record. Don't ask others if what you want is right or wrong It may be too specific for someone, too general for someone else, but you shouldn't care about it. Knowing what you want is very important tho.
He didn't ask if it's right or wrong. He asked if it SOUNDS good or if it's too specific/general. If you're screening for too specific stuff you usually get smacked by the law of probability (gl trying to find a bisexual redhaired girl with green eyes who is into rap, loves beethoven and plays golf in her free time), if it's too general you end up with values everyone uses like "fun, cool, outgoing". Usually you wan't neither of those extremes unless you're masochistic. =P
Make sure to read the first part of my post about the "sound" part. A LOT of work with women comes down to how things sound, not necessarily what they mean.
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On December 27 2011 18:18 r.Evo wrote: On another note to you & others, since I'm sick as hell, can barely talk and am living of soup and more soup right now... feel free to shout random questions or describe situations you had trouble with and I'll analyze them as good as I can. At least that beats trying to play minecraft just to find out that my head will explode when I have to think in 3D. T_T
I've got one. After New Year i'm going back to my hometown and i'm going to meet with a women that i've been friends with. We haven't seen eachother for over a year now. She liked me, i liked her but it wasn't going anywhere (because i wasn't doing anything about it) and eventually i broke the rapport.
I have an idea of what i want to do, and i'm going to do it, without worrying about outcome. That being said, i would gladly hear some advice and things to consider about becoming potential sex/life partner from just a friend.
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