Introversion Awareness
PROBLEM
PROBLEM
American society tends to emphasize that success comes through being highly social and outgoing (in short, extroverted) which negatively pressures introverted people (1/4 to 1/2 of the population) into being uncomfortable with themselves or their environments, which in turn stifles creativity and progress.
APPROACH
I have almost a quarter century experience as an introvert and I have recently performed extensive internet research carefully picking out the best and most popular information sources. Instead of summarizing and presenting everything in my own words, you could view this post as a presentation of my aggregation of the cream of the crop in logical progression. Let there be no mistake that being introverted is just fine - even something to be confident in - and there are and have been a lot of powerful/important people that understand this.
Socrates
If he who does not know kept silent, discord would cease.
If he who does not know kept silent, discord would cease.
Stephen L. Talbott
The flood of careless, unconsidered, cheap words is the greatest enemy of the profound word.
The flood of careless, unconsidered, cheap words is the greatest enemy of the profound word.
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- Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days. - Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite. - Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting. - Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in. - Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts. - Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time. - Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy. - Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them. - Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up. - Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
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- Carl King
Albert Einstein
The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.
The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.
Alan Watts
I'll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you'll come to understand that you're connected with everything.
I'll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you'll come to understand that you're connected with everything.
Susan Taylor
We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly... spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.
We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly... spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.
Susan Cain seems to have taken up the mantle of the leader of the "Quiet Revolution". This TED talk is a brilliant summary of her position.
Proverb
Do not speak unless you can improve the silence.
Do not speak unless you can improve the silence.
Napoleon Hill
Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.
Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.
Earl Wilson
If you wouldn’t write it and sign it, don’t say it.
If you wouldn’t write it and sign it, don’t say it.
William Penn
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.
Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.
William Shakespeare
Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
Henry David Thoreau
In human intercourse the tragedy begins, not when there is misunderstanding about words, but when silence is not understood.
In human intercourse the tragedy begins, not when there is misunderstanding about words, but when silence is not understood.
Blaise Pascal
All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone
All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone
Pythagoras
Silence is better than unmeaning words.
Silence is better than unmeaning words.
By now you might be wondering if you yourself are introverted or extroverted.. the following should help you figure it out:
The first pair of psychological preferences is Extraversion and Introversion. Where do you put your attention and get your energy? Do you like to spend time in the outer world of people and things (Extraversion), or in your inner world of ideas and images (Introversion)?
Extraversion and Introversion as terms used by C. G. Jung explain different attitudes people use to direct their energy. ...
Everyone spends some time extraverting and some time introverting. ...
Take a minute to ask yourself which of the following descriptions seems more natural, effortless, and comfortable for you?
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Extraversion (E)
I like getting my energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. I’m excited when I’m around people and I like to energize other people. I like moving into action and making things happen. I generally feel at home in the world. I often understand a problem better when I can talk out loud about it and hear what others have to say.
The following statements generally apply to me:
- I am seen as “outgoing” or as a “people person.”
- I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them.
- I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people.
- I sometimes jump too quickly into an activity and don’t allow enough time to think it over.
- Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why.
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Introversion (I)
I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with. I take time to reflect so that I have a clear idea of what I’ll be doing when I decide to act. Ideas are almost solid things for me. Sometimes I like the idea of something better than the real thing.
The following statements generally apply to me:
- I am seen as “reflective” or “reserved.”
- I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own.
- I prefer to know just a few people well.
- I sometimes spend too much time reflecting and don’t move into action quickly enough.
- I sometimes forget to check with the outside world to see if my ideas really fit the experience.
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Adapted from Looking at Type: The Fundamentals by Charles R. Martin (CAPT 1997)
Introversion vs. Extraversion is just one of the four personality preference spectra that are cataloged by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I personally have a leaning towards INTJ (Scientist, Mastermind), the most introverted of the 16. These questionnaires can help you figure out your set of leanings:
Jung Typology Test
source: humanmetrics.com
Jung Personality Test
source: similarminds.com
Cognitive Style Inventory
source: personalitypathways.com
source: humanmetrics.com
Jung Personality Test
source: similarminds.com
Cognitive Style Inventory
source: personalitypathways.com
The following sites have great personalized descriptions for each of the 16 types:
Thomas Neill
Of those who say nothing, few are silent.
Of those who say nothing, few are silent.
Ecclesiastes 6:11
The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?
The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?
Ernest Hemingway
All our words from loose using have lost their edge.
All our words from loose using have lost their edge.
Ausonius
He who does not know how to be silent will not know how to speak.
He who does not know how to be silent will not know how to speak.
Elbert Hubbard
He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.
He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.
Abraham Lincoln
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
This video does a great job of clearing up remaining misconceptions:
English Proverb
Still waters run deep.
Still waters run deep.
Japanese Proverb
The silent man is the best to listen to.
The silent man is the best to listen to.
Irish Proverb
Quiet people are well able to look after themselves.
Quiet people are well able to look after themselves.
Iain Duncan Smith
Do not underestimate the determination of a quiet man.
Do not underestimate the determination of a quiet man.
Francis Bacon
Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.
Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.
Elbert Hubbard
All noise is waste. So cultivate quietness in your speech, in your thoughts, in your emotions. Speak habitually low. Wait for attention and then your low words will be charged with dynamite.
All noise is waste. So cultivate quietness in your speech, in your thoughts, in your emotions. Speak habitually low. Wait for attention and then your low words will be charged with dynamite.
Leonardo da Vinci
Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.
Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.
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Our culture is biased against quiet and reserved people, but introverts are responsible for some of humanity's greatest achievements -- from Steve Wozniak's invention of the Apple computer to J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter. And these introverts did what they did not in spite of their temperaments -- but because of them.
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Yet our most important institutions -- our schools and our workplaces -- are designed for extroverts. And we're living with a value system that I call the New Groupthink, where we believe that all creativity and productivity comes from an oddly gregarious place.
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In fact, we've known about the transcendent power of solitude for centuries; it's only recently that we've forgotten it. Our major religions all tell the story of seekers -- Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha -- who go off alone, to the wilderness, and bring profound revelations back to the community. No wilderness, no revelations.
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So Begins A Quiet Revolution Of The 50 Percent
source: Forbes
+ Show Spoiler [Forbes interviews Susan Cain] +
source: Forbes
+ Show Spoiler [Forbes interviews Susan Cain] +
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Instead of embracing their serious, often quiet and reflective style, [introverts] are encouraged to act like extroverts—those assertive, outgoing types that love teamwork, brainstorming, networking and thinking out loud. This, she says, leads to a “colossal waste of talent, energy and happiness.”
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“People have been waiting for the permission to articulate these things,” Cain told me in a video interview. “Now that they have it, there’s going to be a groundswell. Introverts are starting to speak out.”
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Cain believes that whether you are outwardly oriented to the world around you or inwardly oriented to the inner riches of the mind has as profound an effect as your gender. “The place of introverts in our culture today is very similar to where women were in the 1950s and early 1960s,” she said. “Half the population was discounted for something that went to the core of who they were. And it was also a population on the verge of coming into its own, like what’s happening with introverts now. We’re at the cusp of a real sea change in the way we understand this personality type.”
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“I would like to change people’s psyches,” Cain said. “So many introverts who I interviewed told me about a secret sense of shame they had about who they were and how they prefer to spend their time. I want people to have a comfort level with who they are. Secondly, I’d like schools and workplaces to rethink how they are structured and think about meeting the needs of their introverts as well as their extroverts.”
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Introverts may make up nearly half the population, but Cain says they are second-class citizens.
“A widely held, but rarely articulated, belief in our society is that the ideal self is bold, alpha, gregarious,” says Cain. “Introversion is viewed somewhere between disappointment and pathology.”
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It was over the last century, says Cain, that society began reshaping itself as an extrovert’s paradise—to the introvert’s demise. She explains that before the twentieth century, we lived in what historians called a “culture of character,” when you were expected to conduct yourself morally with quiet integrity. But when people starting flocking to the cities and working for big businesses the question became, how do I stand out in a crowd? We morphed into a “culture of personality,” which she says sparked a fascination with glittering movie stars, bubbly employees and outgoing leadership.
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Yet, according to Cain, it’s only worked to damage innovation and productivity. Research shows that charismatic leaders earn bigger paychecks but do not have better corporate performance; that brainstorming results in lower quality ideas and the more vocally assertive extroverts are the most likely to be heard; that the amount of space allotted to each employee shrunk 60% since the 1970s; and that open office plans are associated with reduced concentration and productivity, impaired memory, higher turnover and increased illness.
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Cain: In our society, the ideal self is bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight. We like to think that we value individuality, but mostly we admire the type of individual who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.” Our schools, workplaces, and religious institutions are designed for extroverts. Introverts are to extroverts what American women were to men in the 1950s -- second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent.
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Cain: Many introverts feel there’s something wrong with them, and try to pass as extroverts. But whenever you try to pass as something you’re not, you lose a part of yourself along the way. You especially lose a sense of how to spend your time. Introverts are constantly going to parties and such when they’d really prefer to be home reading, studying, inventing, meditating, designing, thinking, cooking…or any number of other quiet and worthwhile activities.
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Cain: Yes. An interesting line of research by the psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Gregory Feist suggests that the most creative people in many fields are usually introverts. This is probably because introverts are comfortable spending time alone, and solitude is a crucial (and underrated) ingredient for creativity.
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Faking it is exactly what a lot of introverts learn to do from an early age. And that masquerade covers up something primal and deep. Scientists have begun to learn that the introverted or extroverted temperament seems strongly inborn and inherited, influencing our behavior from not long after we're out of the womb.
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Caution, inhibition and even fearfulness may be healthy--and smart--adaptations for the overstimulated person, but they're still not characteristics many parents would want in their children, especially in a society that lionizes the bold. So it's common for moms and dads of introverted offspring to press their kids to be more outgoing, lest they end up overlooked in class and later in life. That, however, can be a mistake--and not just because our temperaments are difficult to change fundamentally.
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It's not just introverts who suffer when work becomes an endless series of meetings and brainstorming sessions. Anyone who has spent time in any organization knows that there is rarely a correlation between the quality of an idea and the volume at which it is presented. Defying the loudest speaker--and the groupthink that tends to build around that person--can be painful for anyone. Gregory Berns, a neuroeconomist at Emory University, has found that when people oppose group consensus, their amygdalae light up, signaling fear of rejection. The risks of groupthink are perhaps most apparent in criminal juries, where the desire for social cohesion can sometimes short-circuit justice.
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Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?
If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?
If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.
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Edgar Allan Poe
Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.
Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.
Robert Southey
It is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.
It is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.
Pope Benedict XVI
Silence is an integral element of communication; in its absence, words rich in content cannot exist.
Silence is an integral element of communication; in its absence, words rich in content cannot exist.
William Shakespeare
When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain.
When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain.
Mahatma Ghandi
In a gentle way, you can shake the world.
In a gentle way, you can shake the world.
(suspected / self-admitted)
Famous Successful Introverts
Albert Einstein
Charles Darwin
Leonardo da Vinci
Neil Armstrong
Thomas Edison
Sir Isaac Newton
Stephen Hawking
Steve Wozniak
Bill Gates
Larry Page
Warren Buffet
Abraham Lincoln
Al Gore
Barack Obama
Eleanor Roosevelt
John F. Kennedy
Nelson Mandela
Mahatma Ghandi
Martin Luther King Jr.
Mother Teresa
Rosa Parks
The Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama)
Rene Descartes
Socrates
Charles Chulz
Emily Dickinson
Frederic Chopin
J.K. Rowling
Sir Alfred Hitchcock
Steven Spielberg
Vincent van Gogh
Woody allen
Angelina Jolie
Barbara Walters
Clint Eastwood
Christina Aguilera
David Letterman
Diane Sawyer
Harrison Ford
Helen Hunt
Jerry Seinfeld
Jim Carrey
Johnny Depp
Julia Roberts
Keanu Reeves
Meryl Streep
Michelle Pfieffer
Robert de Niro
Steve Martin
Tom Hanks
Lady Gaga
Bobby Fischer
Michael Jordan
Tiger Woods
Famous Successful Introverts
Albert Einstein
Charles Darwin
Leonardo da Vinci
Neil Armstrong
Thomas Edison
Sir Isaac Newton
Stephen Hawking
Steve Wozniak
Bill Gates
Larry Page
Warren Buffet
Abraham Lincoln
Al Gore
Barack Obama
Eleanor Roosevelt
John F. Kennedy
Nelson Mandela
Mahatma Ghandi
Martin Luther King Jr.
Mother Teresa
Rosa Parks
The Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama)
Rene Descartes
Socrates
Charles Chulz
Emily Dickinson
Frederic Chopin
J.K. Rowling
Sir Alfred Hitchcock
Steven Spielberg
Vincent van Gogh
Woody allen
Angelina Jolie
Barbara Walters
Clint Eastwood
Christina Aguilera
David Letterman
Diane Sawyer
Harrison Ford
Helen Hunt
Jerry Seinfeld
Jim Carrey
Johnny Depp
Julia Roberts
Keanu Reeves
Meryl Streep
Michelle Pfieffer
Robert de Niro
Steve Martin
Tom Hanks
Lady Gaga
Bobby Fischer
Michael Jordan
Tiger Woods
Introvert-Friendly Jobs & Career Fields
Key Words in Job Title to Look For:
Analyst
Engineer
Maintenance
Researcher
Scientist
Technician
Minimal People Interaction:
Accountant / Auditor
Artist / Designer
Astronomer
Biologist
Chef
Chemist
Economist
Geographer
Historian
Librarian / Archivist
Machine Operator
Mathematician
Mechanic
Physicist
Private Investigator
Software Developer
Tester / Sampler
Transcriptionist
Truck Driver
Writer / Editor
Zookeeper
If you can handle working with other people regularly, try looking into these:
Actor
Air Traffic Controller
Architect
Consultant
Doctor
Electrician
Entrepreneur
Lawyer
Paralegal
Physician
Politician
Police / Detective
Professor
Psychiatrist
Psychologist
Singer
Taxi driver
Veterinarian
Confucius
Silence is a true friend that never betrays.
Silence is a true friend that never betrays.
Publilius Syrus
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Napoleon Hill
Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent.
Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent.
Arabian Proverb
When you have spoken the word, it reigns over you. When it is unspoken you reign over it.
When you have spoken the word, it reigns over you. When it is unspoken you reign over it.
Carl Jung
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Talent develops in quiet places, character in the full current of human life.
Talent develops in quiet places, character in the full current of human life.
Aristotle
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
Dag Hammarskjold
Never for the sake of peace and quiet deny your convictions.
Never for the sake of peace and quiet deny your convictions.
Benjamin Franklin
As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence.
As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence.
Victor Hugo
Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.
Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.
The Introvert's Corner
A consistently updated blog about "living life quietly, and asserting our right to do so" the author of
A consistently updated blog about "living life quietly, and asserting our right to do so" the author of
If I may quote the bulk of this entry:
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Seven things extroverts should know about their introverted friends:
1) We don’t need alone time because we don’t like you. We need alone time because we need alone time. Don’t take it personally.
2) We aren’t judging anyone when we sit quietly. We're just sitting quietly, probably enjoying watching extroverts in action.
3) If we say we’re having fun, we’re having fun, even though it might not look that way to you.
4) If we leave early, it’s not because we’re party poopers. We’re just pooped. Socializing takes a lot out of us.
5) If you want to hear what we have to say, give us time to say it. We don’t fight to be heard over other people. We just clam up.
6) We’re not lonely, we’re choosy. And we’re loyal to friends who don’t try to make us over into extroverts.
7) Anything but the telephone.
Seven things introverts should know about their extroverted friends:
1) Extroverts don’t understand introversion unless someone explains it.
2) Extroverts who try to get you to loosen up usually aren’t doing it to annoy you. They mean well.
3) Extroverts produce a lot of words but quantity does not preclude quality. There's often plenty of good stuff in there for those with the patience to listen.
4) Extroverts can teach us plenty about glad-handing and small talking. These are useful skills, whether or not you enjoy them.
5) Extroverts can’t read your mind and they’re not big on catching hints. Say what you want.
6) At parties, think of extroverted friends as a glider tow plane. They pull you in and get you started, but eventually you have to sail on your own.
7) Extroverts come in all different styles, just like introverts. Keep a lookout for extroverts with a quiet side, who make dandy friends.
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IntrovertZone.com
/r/introvert
WellCast's Party Survival Guide Plan Sheet: + Show Spoiler +
(Spoiler from end of above video) PERFECT ANTI-EXTROVERT TOOL: + Show Spoiler +
A squirt gun! TROLLOLolOLol
/r/introvert
WellCast's Party Survival Guide Plan Sheet: + Show Spoiler +
(Spoiler from end of above video) PERFECT ANTI-EXTROVERT TOOL: + Show Spoiler +
A squirt gun! TROLLOLolOLol
BONUS for consideration: + Show Spoiler +
Conclusion
- It's okay to be yourself!
- Extroverts: talk less, listen more (even if there's nothing to listen to).
- Introverts: after thinking, be sure to speak up assertively.
I hope this information can help someone else as much as it is helping me.
- Barrin