As for a little teaser, I don't know how exactly did I get fingerbanged, but do not recommend. Hurts so fucking much, GOD. Must be karma.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 865
Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
As for a little teaser, I don't know how exactly did I get fingerbanged, but do not recommend. Hurts so fucking much, GOD. Must be karma. | ||
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On July 28 2016 12:23 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Whats the best way to prepare for an amicable break-up? Its my first serious relationship, and we've been dating for almost a year now. She's back home in Louisiana, and got accepted to her masters degree in France. After that she's stuck their till 2021. We haven't broken up yet, but will the first week of september. At first it was really rough, and then I kind of accepted it. However, every once in a while we talk about stuff that's happening a few months from now, and it hits me that I won't have her in my life anymore. Just do it. Tell her you are not interested in a long distance relationship but you wish her all the best. + Show Spoiler + Then give her a watch and some peanuts. Think I'm gonna take a break from the whole Tinder and dating thing for a month or two. Maybe get my shit together a bit and focus on working out again. Went on yet another date that seemed promising and then the person turned out to be not nearly as interesting as they seemed when I had talked to them. The girl I went with tonight had seemed really cool but when I met her she just seemed kinda boring. I might give her another chance though. I'll think on it. In the mean time there's a cute little blonde from a different area at work that keeps smiling and saying hi to me. I'll have to have a lil' chit chat with her. Sort of relating. I've been trying a bit here in my hometown, but god damn, tinder is waaay harder here. Girls seem to be way more stuck up here. I'm just going to give up tinder here. I think it is a good idea to take a break from actively searching once in a while. I did it guys. I fucking did it! I am not sure what went down in the last 24 hours, but I feel no regret! Longass field-report is coming up sometime later, no ETA. As for a little teaser, I don't know how exactly did I get fingerbanged, but do not recommend. Hurts so fucking much, GOD. Must be karma. My body is ready for the update. But why the fuck do you always meet weird girls? | ||
the bear jew
United States3674 Posts
| ||
Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
CORRECTION to the buttfingering part cuz I dont want to spread misinformation. Now that I've been to the toilet twice, its not actually painful. The act itself however was not pleasant for me at all. More on this too later! | ||
DarkPlasmaBall
United States42208 Posts
On July 28 2016 18:59 Volband wrote: I did it guys. I fucking did it! I am not sure what went down in the last 24 hours, but I feel no regret! Longass field-report is coming up sometime later, no ETA. As for a little teaser, I don't know how exactly did I get fingerbanged, but do not recommend. Hurts so fucking much, GOD. Must be karma. Errrr....... congrats? | ||
Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
I meant I do not regret jumping into this whole thing. There were obviously bad parts, but that wasn't even what I mentioned here. Now I know at least that it's a no-no. | ||
Skynx
Turkey7150 Posts
| ||
CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
On July 28 2016 21:07 Volband wrote: @bloodwhore I'll talk about it too because I plan to share my online dating experiences, which are quite interesting imo, and theres definitely a pattern. She was not mentally crazy though, wouldnt have done it if so. CORRECTION to the buttfingering part cuz I dont want to spread misinformation. Now that I've been to the toilet twice, its not actually painful. The act itself however was not pleasant for me at all. More on this too later! Well, uh...this will be interesting. + Show Spoiler + Unless she used lube, I can't imagine how you wouldn't have ended up sore. Perhaps you could ask the next girl to simply rim you? On July 28 2016 20:40 the bear jew wrote: Terrible. It feels like every time I think I'm having a nice conversation with a girl on the dating website, they just stop talking to me all of a sudden. Maybe that's the problem. | ||
MysteryMeat1
United States3283 Posts
On July 28 2016 15:47 evilfatsh1t wrote: what other way is there then to mentally prepare yourself for the fact that you are going to be single again? theres really nothing else you can do that is going to help you 'prepare'. there are ways to cope with the breakup but that is a different question. is there a particular reason you have not decided to pursue long distance? i know a lot of people look down on it but i actually happen to have a lot of people around me that have persevered years of long distance to now be in happy relationships so its not a guaranteed death trap like many people say We're both already incredibly busy, with the two hour timezone. We usually only get a few minutes before she goes to sleep. Once school starts back up, we looked at our schedules and found no overlapping free time due to the 9 hour time difference. Also because of the jobs we want to do she's stuck in a small city in Louisiana, where I need to find work in a big city. We've both talked about it, and mutually agreed it was the right choice. We've also done long distance for spurts at a time, and its fine when both of us can make the time to talk to each other, but both of us need more than once a week communication. | ||
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On July 28 2016 20:40 the bear jew wrote: Terrible. It feels like every time I think I'm having a nice conversation with a girl on the dating website, they just stop talking to me all of a sudden. I believe if you're looking for a nice conversation you should use a friending website | ||
B.I.G.
3251 Posts
ALTHOUGH THE TITLE IS MISLEADING THIS IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT PUA SHIT Although a bit obvious at times, some of it is stuff you might not even consider. The thing about not unconsciously "cornering" a woman when you are talking to a woman but rather putting yourself in a position where it is easier for her to get away than you sounds like legit advice. Apart from that he also has social interaction breakdowns where he uses Game of Thrones scenes as an example which are fun and the reason I came there in the first place ;p. | ||
Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
In a way I adjusted myself to online dating within my range of possibilities and amount of effort I'm willing to put in. First off, normal dating sites imo are a waste of time if you are in a smaller country (~10 <mil people here). I don't doubt that OKCupid or such famous sites can be awesome in other countries, and even I only tried one site, but my opinion is that I've seen enough. I should probably mention that I was mainly looking for people around my age, and that's not helpful either if you are in your early twenties. Maybe older people who are looking for the one to settle with have more success in sites like this, as they are looking for dependable people they would enjoy living the rest of their lives with, but if you want to kick it off with the younger audience, having the looks is crucial. The thing I hate the most in a website like that is you have to start from zero. Search for a girl, look her up, write her some witty letter which will only amount 2% to whether she will respond positively (if respond at all) or not. It's a chore, really, especially when you get no reply to a letter you clearly put the effort into. Yeah, we are not entitled to anything, but it's a bit disheartening that I might as well wrote "ayyy bby wunt sm fuk?" and then at least I wouldn't feel a bit disappointed for not even getting a reply. The absolute worst thing is how many girls put themselves on a pedestal. 7 out of 10 girls profile says they are looking for a guy who can make them laugh. Now, credit where its due, a very few of these girls actually had some witty profile stuff, but most of them were literally the most boring people on Earth looking for someone to be funny. Get real. Also, what the fuck is up with "I love nature and going out to nature. It's important that you love this too!" Bitch, is that really THE thing you want to sell yourself with? Is this the thing that makes a relationship tick for you? I mean, the amount of girls who are apparently rolling down from the hills every weekend are very high on that site, yet I never met a girl like this. Maybe because I sticked to cities. Does this mean if I go on a trip to the nearest forest, I will find random hot babes who are just there loving nature? The second worst thing is girls who are just there to mend their self-esteem. All of them broke up with their boyfriends days or weeks prior to registering to the site. They always reply to you, you might even think you hit it off, but then a complete change of heart from their side. There must be a way to be able to court some of these girls, but I sure as hell did not too close to it. Actually, my final verdict is that for me it's just a waste of time and got rather repelled by these girls. Like, some of them are on the site for years and they look decent - that's not a good sign. Good for me I was not hard pressed to find True Love, I was fine with casual hookups, so I tried the tinder-like approach. What a relief compared to that other site... it skips the whole cold approach part, so you don't waste time. Now, obviously, I don't know what is the secret of hooking up with babes there either, you'd need an at least normal looking girl and an objectively handsome dude's input to have a somewhat unbiased picture. I basically just "liked" everyone and this is how I ended up with a lot of girls whom I did not even have the slightest desire towards. They were mainly fat, but instead of ignoring them I figured I might as well see where things could go. Some of them were into meeting me, but some of them freaked out when I said I don't want anything serious. Like, I understand that as with all people, they want to be loved too, but Jesus, the tantrum they can throw sometimes! I never actually met any of them. A friend of mine said it would be a bad idea to do so, because if I'm not attracted, then I won't be able to get hard. As we will see later in the story, he was probably right, but the main reason I said no one day before these meetings because I always had to draw a line. Like, I could treat sex casually, I wouldn't mind one off things, nor would I mind banging average chicks, I would not think less of myself, but there's a line where I just could not look into the mirror, and getting sexual with people I find unattractive is among that. And by that I mainly mean fat people, sorry. I never even knew I was so fucking repelled by obesity, but I had to realize that I might bang some average, dumb girl, yet not touch a smart, easy to talk to fat one. I believe personality can come an extremely long way to make someone attractive, but not even that could make me fall for an obese girl. Having extra weight is fine, can fit one's personality too, but being fat is just... ah, should not waste more words on this, you get the drill. One of the girls who was not particularly fat, hell, even got a nice face which is like a million extra points for me, was ready to meet with me, but she was doodoo in the head! Like, clingy. Basically, I got my own medicine from the past. "I see you already seen what I wrote to you..." and stuff. 0 self-esteem. Yeaaah, no! It's probably high time to mention that my educated observation that you get a roll of smart/stupid and ugly/attractive on women. Your roll modifiers are your pictures, bio, etc. Ugly-stupid is the most common combination, and are basically a free ride. The problem is, one of these traits are hard enough to bear, the combination of them is just too much. Like, when she can't even fucking write properly, because the last time she saw a literature book was when she used it to lit fire. I understand if I come off as an asshole now, but at the very least I consider myself average and not dumb as fuck. I guess if I were to wake up next to a girl like that with a hangover, I'd say "wow, must've been an interesting night!" and laugh it off, but to consciously let it happen. Nah... Then there are the attractive but stupid ones. Well, can't say I met too many of them, as they don't have self-esteem issues, quite contrary, so they are most probably lured in by the hot guys. The smart-unattractive combination is a real headache. By unattractive I don't necessarily mean ugly. It sucks because unlike with the former group, you don't want to fuck around with them that much, because you actually get to like them. One example is this quite fat girl (120kgs, 264,5 pounds, still got you USA fam) and it became apparent quite fast she's just a normal girl. So I told her after a little conversation that I'm only interested in a casual hookup. You may ask why did I say that when earlier I said how much I'm turned off by obese people. Well, I don't know, in my mind, it would've worked out, in reality, it most probably would not have, haha. I guess there's a certain kinky factor in this? Not sure, but she would have been in it, had I not mentioned I'm still a V. Man, she asked for time first then told me she won't do it like this and it's not because of I'm inexperienced. I tried to outplay her, but I got so used to talking to dumb bi-- erm, ladies, that she just out-argued my ass. For another girl, who is actually not that bad, I gave the phone to my friend, who never used stuff like this, but never had a problem getting girls. He's the one in my waitress story. Anyway, he asks her when did she have sex for the last time out of the blue, like, we were talking about something completely different. I was like geeeez, what have you done? But she replied "not recently". I was like what the fuck. Then he said (well, typed) "me too. we should do something about it" and she had a laugh and says she likes my style. LOL. It makes no sense, but it's how it happened. Now, as for the smart and attractive ones... that's a struggle, for me at least. I don't get many of them and it feels like walking on ice. It also reminds me how fucking isolated am I from normal girls in general, like, I have ONE girl friend. It's hard not to treat them like aliens when I barely interact with them. And that's my biggest conclusion: somehow I should get to meet and know more girls casually. Not sure how do I do that, other than hunting for those adventurers in the forest. | ||
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: For another girl, who is actually not that bad, I gave the phone to my friend, who never used stuff like this, but never had a problem getting girls. He's the one in my waitress story. Anyway, he asks her when did she have sex for the last time out of the blue, like, we were talking about something completely different. I was like geeeez, what have you done? But she replied "not recently". I was like what the fuck. Then he said (well, typed) "me too. we should do something about it" and she had a laugh and says she likes my style. LOL. It makes no sense, but it's how it happened. This however is just a total fluke. He wasn't sauve or anything, he just rolled a dice and got lucky. A lot of guys do this. I looked at my fuck buddys tinder account and here in Sweden we have a word "Ligga?" which translates to "Do you want to fuck?" and it is not uncommon that guys send that as the first message. They realize that the girls who are looking for something serious are too much work and those who are just looking for sex anyway just goes after looks anyway, why bother trying to serenade her if you can just get a booty call by saying one word? | ||
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
| ||
waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On July 29 2016 18:29 bloodwhore~ wrote: Here is an interesting article. He automated his dating search and went on 150 dates in four months. Lol, I did something similar to that just last semester break for one of my superiors during my intern ship. Just a little bit less sophisticated since it was aimed at getting casual hookups. During the development process I thought multiple times "I bet some nerd already done this with far more motivation" and apparently I was right. | ||
CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: For another girl, who is actually not that bad, I gave the phone to my friend, who never used stuff like this, but never had a problem getting girls. He's the one in my waitress story. Anyway, he asks her when did she have sex for the last time out of the blue, like, we were talking about something completely different. I was like geeeez, what have you done? But she replied "not recently". I was like what the fuck. Then he said (well, typed) "me too. we should do something about it" and she had a laugh and says she likes my style. LOL. It makes no sense, but it's how it happened. It makes perfect sense. You're just inexperienced with women. On July 29 2016 18:29 bloodwhore~ wrote: Here is an interesting article. He automated his dating search and went on 150 dates in four months. What's funny is that his problem is blatantly apparent just from the text alone and he can't see it. All the technological gimmickry in the world can't help you if you are incapable of seeing or loving someone else. | ||
Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
Me: What kind of relationship do you seek here? --- I was really just reciting my 0 effort approach I give to girls I'm not really interested in. Her: Serious. You?! Me: For now, just something casual. H: M: Does it not interest you at all? H: Well, if it's REALLY just about sex and I can come back home that day, then it's fine. ---- I am not quite sure what she meant by that "really". Probably low-key asked me again if it's really all that I want, but who knows. Anyway, that's how it started, and she was honest from the get go that she's rather poor - this will resurface later big time. I'm actually reading back now to check her grammar, but aside from mistaps on her phone, it's fine. Hell, I was pretty sure I'm seeing her through rose-tinted glasses, but in hindsight, her online persona fit the irl one, and despite not being highly educated she did not give any sign of it. I mean, having a child at 18 years old is a huge ass sign in itself, I get that, but she never came off as stupid. I asked for her phone number another day and we talked. I was, once again, surprised. Like, she said some goddamn fucking stupid shit - verbal obscenity warranted, you will see -, but she was collected, firm, easy to talk to. All right, let's get through the shitty part guys. The things she talked about were mainly her past. And Jesus, did it test my resolve... she had like 2 abortions BEFORE having her 2 boys. I really did not get her. How can someone be this dumb yet still come off as a normal person? That remained a mystery for me then, but guys, she looked good, hell, it was not a struggle at all to talk to her, she got the jokes, it was like... it was like a fresh breeze on your cheek, you just had to ignore the bridge you are standing on is fire. Now, to have some continuity - and to keep up with the traditions - I will give you her profile now, instead of giving it back by bits and pieces as I learned about them along the way. First of all, she is sane. I can not stress it enough. I was so damn afraid she might say something so ridiculous that it would freeze my blood. But she did not. Her story is *drumroll* *drumroll* *drumroll* fucked up parents, and to be more precise *drumroll* daddy issues. She's the by the book definition of having an alcoholic idiot as a father figure, whom YOU have to tend for since an early age. Basically, the way I see it, it completely fucked up her values. She can't dream big and I was afraid to ask her if she ever did. The thing that matters to her is family and her pride. Even tattooed the birth dates of her sons on her. She did not seem to care about how she looks. She did not use the glasses at least, but everything else was... not a single picture with make up on, always that fucking ponytail, not a girly dress can be found... Honestly, aside from her being rather cool, the only thing that kept me there initially were her eyes. They were light blue and really pretty. All right, let's start the journey off now!! I spent 1,5 weeks in our capital city for the monthly training course, and we settled that on my way back I visit her, talk a little and if we hit it off, we meet the next day for some wink wink. The plan was - since I only rent a room, can't really bring anyone there - to sneak into my mother's house while she's at work, do the deed then leave. It would've been terrible, also, as it turned out later, she arrived home earlier that day so it would've been a disaster. :D We talked like three short times that day, and I was seriously expecting her to just drop an "ooooh, could we do it later?". But nope, there I was at the station. It's happening guys! I call her, she says she'll be outside in half a minute. I was sweating bullets, I had a backpack and another bag in my hands, tired as fuck, also, I left my razors at home so I could not shave during that 1,5 weeks so I looked like a fucking hobo with that facial hair. She told me beforehand she will come right from work so she will not be too presentable either. There she was, in her work clothes. Oh, what did she do that day? Forgot to mention. SHE CLEANED OFF BRICKS. Like, you know, with hammers and shit. She could murder me for sure. She was wearing some blue, absolutely not fitting work trousers and a simple, black T-shirt. Oh yeah, and the pony tail. That fucking pony tail. Oh, but she was smaller than me, like 8 cm smaller!! That was a nice feeling. You know, when you are born a fucking hobbit, you have to appreciate things like that. Okay, two pecks on the face, let's roll! Well, I did not roll too much, because we arrived at the first stage of Volband's Hell. Just by the station there was this pub, where she was apparently well known. To save the trouble, yes, she was a pretty well-known personality in the town. By that I don't mean she fucked everyone, rather that she's capable of leaving a mark in people. But it does not mean she did not fuck anyone though. There was Mr. G, I assume late 40s, maybe early-mid 50s, not sure, alcohol is one helluva drug, but he and her (okay, let's call her Kate for this story, which is also 50% true) were together for 4 months. I did not need to know this, but Mr. G. was adamant on letting me know. Daddy issues are dangerous, girls! Mr. G: Is he your boyfriend, Kate? Kate: Well... not exactly. Mr. G: Then I ask it this way: have two fucked? Talking about a strong entrance... I was completely threw off-guard. I thought we'd sit in somewhere privately, talk a bit, then say goodbye and either meet the next day or not. Nah, that would've been just too easy. I was thrown into the deep water. It was home field for her, and right out of the bat there was Mr. G. trying to scare me. Well, I had bad news for Mr. G. I might be unfamiliar with the social level he was the self-acclaimed king of, but my newfound confidence and the fact that I've been through way too much crazy (mostly pleasant, though) shit in the last weeks and months to care about things like this gave me an easy time to deal with his annoying ass. He was trying to have an easy brawl with me, but I did not give him the pleasure. Mr. G: Volband, can I ask you something? Just this one thing I'm really curious about! Me: No. Ahahaha, the look on his fucking face. He (or she, can't remember) said I should try that drink called Malibu there, it's really good, and they will show how they are drinking. I was against it, I really did not want to drink, not with Mr. G. but Kate used her "pretty please" power. I said fine, but I will only drink Kate's and mine drink. Mr. G says a real man would pay for all three, but okay. I told him I don't give a fuck about what a "real man" would do, but there is no way in hell I will pay for his drink. :D It was very very sweet and tasted like coconut. Kinda like a pina colada disguised as vodka. They might wanted a second round, I have no idea, I just know I was about to leave either way. I had no problem with the scene itself, hell, there was a guy who worked where I did for 20 years, an older guy but I talked more with him than with Kate lol. But Mr. G. was getting obnoxious. I did not have a good time, and I was convinced if she was attracted to me before, she surely disappointed in me. She was this worker class tomboy who even considers friends as her family, and I was this mommy's boy "smart guy" who won't participate in such famous traditions like keep drinking shots in the middle of the day. Don't know when, but when she was feeling hot, she took off her T-shirt, lol. She was sitting there for a good 5 minutes in a bra. How to not give a fuck 101. We were leaving, but Mr. G asked Kate to let him tell her something. Oooooh boy, here we go, I did not even want to hear it, I just waited outside. All I heard is that in Mr. G's educated opinion, Kate was making a mistake. Yeah, give me a fucking break. A king of the pub alcoholic is talking about ME as something she should reconsider? An average, young, mildly attractive, respectable guy?! WHAT?! We walked a bit, talked a bit, just chit-chat, mainly about how retarded Mr. G was in my opinion, but soon we arrived to a second pub. All right, this is my fucking life now, get me out of here. Thankfully, the people there were nice, and by nice I mean they shut their mouth. I think we exchanged some words with one of them while he was smoking outside, but it was just some comedic banter. I like those guys. Still not my style, but it's not like I despise the entire worker-class pub community. Oh yeah, one more negative thing about Kate. I don't mind if the other person smokes (well, I thought I did not, but more on this later), but the top of her front teeth were yellow, adasadsdsadasdsadsaasd. I did not know what yellow teeth means, well, I thought I did. But nah, it is literally yellow. She had perfectly aligned white teeth everywhere else, but if she pulled her lips completely you could see it. To be fair, I completely forgot about that, and despite talking a lot later on - well, SHE talked a lot, lmao - I never recognized it again. Still, it can not be unseen. I wouldn't say it was a godawful experience thus far, but I had many reasonable doubts why it might get worse after this. Finally we got some alone time with our beers, and she calmly asked me if I'm sure that I'm not interested in a more serious thing. This question felt like a mixture of hot and cold water. On one hand, it felt good, albeit unexpected after my behaviour in the previous pub, on the other hand, I have to shut her down. And so I did. I told her that first of all it's an absolute no-no because of the kids, I could not love them, period. She said something along the line that it's understandable if I can't accept other's children. Now, this is where I should've shut the fuck up, but for some reason I think brutal honesty is a valuable trait and not just being an asshole. I said I it's not that I could never ever accept someone else's child, like, I was thinking about this on a purely theoretical level, and maybe I could, but I just know that definitely not in this case. Well, she took it rather well, but in hindsight... wow. Then I went on saying that I'm not sure if we would be a good fit to begin with, like we are from different worlds, and despite the saying that opposites attract eachother, I'm not so sure about it. I don't know what she said to that, but God, I could've stayed silent! Then I told her how surprised I was that she asked me that, like, I thought she wrote me off. She said naaah, and even though she knew it was very unlikely I'd say yes, it would've bothered her if she never even asked me. Ayyyyyyyyyyyy, who could understand her reasoning better than Mr. "I want closure!!!" Volband? She was talking about something and said "... you see I don't care how many girls you've been before..." and that immidietly put a smile on my face. I wasn't sure how I was going to tell her about my V-card or if I should, given my bad experiences, but that moment was the perfect opportunity. She was surprised, and later in the night, after we finished for good, she asked me again i I was serious, lol. Like, no bitch, I'm just going around lying to everyone that I'm a virgin because irls just absolutely LOVE that. I also told her that if we were to meet seriously and she brought me to that pub we first wnt to, I would have been mad. And she said if we were to meet seriosuly she would not brought me there. Rekt. But fair point. :D When we were leaving this second pub, I had some serious déjá vu. I just stopped for a few seconds and had this feeling of I've been here in this exact place before. It reminded me of an extremely old dream of mine. I know it's completely random, my last déjá vu was around in high school, so it's not like I'm flashing left and right every second week. Don't know, maybe some of you spiritual folks can solve this mystery. We are sitting on some shitty stairs, people occasionally walking around, and I'm in the middle of some good story. I did not get to talk much, like she could not fucking shut her mouth. Nothing out of courtesy questions like "what do you do at work exactly?" or "how was your day?", no, nothing. So I was telling this A+ story and I saw her resting her head on her knees smiling, looking at me. Seriously?.... You want me to kiss you NOW?! I was raging inside, such a good story guys, such a good one. And I fucking finished it first, I did not care. Yes, I upped the pace, I left out some not so important parts, but damn right I'm finishing my story first. Then I leaned in to kiss her, and she said "I've been waiting for this" after. No shit, Sherlock. I might be a newb in this game, but I'm not socially inept. She said that we should go to the lake, the weather is good. What?! Bitch, I got to get home somehow. And then she said I should stay. Oh. Ooooh. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Wait, how? She said she looked up places there, the cheapest costs 6 pizzas. I'm going to use pizzas as currency due to our multicultural... thing. Ya know! I was like okay, sure, I just drank beer out of your mouth, I'm not exactly in a state of mind to say no, you know? However, she said she wants to visit her brother and she wants me to meet him. Now, for the record, he was not her blood brother, not even foster brother. She just.. "adopted" him, or they each other I don't know. She's not the first girl who treats someone almost literally as her brother or sister, so despite I still think it's fucking retarded, it wasn't news for me. I was a bit afraid though, because I was pretty sure it was some kind of vetting. Ya know, dusting off Mr. G was one thing, but meeting with that famous brother? Yeeaaaah... The second Gate of Hell! We enter the house, he greets his, we exchange names, in the actual apartment there was another dude, the friend of her brother. Let's name this "brother" Enrique, because the first song he was listening to was from Enrique Iglesias. My first impression was that he is a scary dude. So many expensive stuff laying around, big ass TV and I heard he mostly worked abroad. You might met with his kind; he is the guy who is either fucking rich or piss poor. He's living The Life, always doing business and always living up the money. He's articulate, straightforward, quick to react and socially well versed. Also, he gives no fucks. Enrique: Are you guys a thing? Or are you just fucking? You know what, never even mind! Your business. WHAT THE FUCK. I'm not comfortable at all in situations like this. My demise did not last long however, as we quickly found a common ground with Enrique: English. He, being a traveled man, spoke it quite well and fluently, and while for personal reasons I really don't like to talk in English outside my comfort zone, I did not see any other choice than trying to bring my A game. It went down well, turned out he's an extremely cool guy, and it was nice that Kate did not speak English, so we could even talk around her as well. You remember when I said Kate did ask much about me? Well, Enrique did, and he asked the good questions, not even the mundane ones! You know, every people have questions which they secretly want to be asked. I enjoyed our conversation, even talked about their (Enrique and his friends') trip to the USA and many other stuff. Kate was visiting the neighbor (don't ask, lol), and Enrique asked about our plan. Told him we already settled a room for 6 pizzas. Enrique freaked out... "Are you fucking idiots?? 6 pizzas??? Holy shit guys, I let you have this apartment for the night for 3." Well... uhm, okay? Kate came back, he told her the same, she was not against it, and after he called some guys, one of them was fine with him staying the night. Now, the thought which crossed my mind might crossed yours now too. What if this was an elaborate scheme?!! But it certainly wasn't. Three pizzas for that room is like the cheapest price if you are looking for "hideouts" in bigger cities, and we could even trash this place. Also, a fingerprint in that huge ass TV costs around 3 pizzas, and so on. Don't worry though, I did get played that day, but not by Enrique, that guy was legit. Kate, on the other hand, showed awfully similar behavior than the girl I was fallen for years. The latter was a master of pitying herself and sucking in attention. Her (not Kate): That's it, Grandma is kicking me out of the house. Great. Whatever... Me: Again? Weren't you "kicked" like a dozen times before. Her: This is for real now. We super-duper argued. I don't even care, won't live here anymore. Me: *sigh* Now, Kate was manipulative with money. We were shopping for razors as I had no time to prepare myself, nor did she. But in the shop she said we should buy a Jagermeister, a small one. 1,5 pizza guys, 1,5. I was against it, but she was trying to use her seductive powers. It did not fucking work, but I was not going to risk anything if I got this close, even if I was getting a bit of cold feet. She also took a chocolate and asked me if I want any. You know you are living the good life when you are asked if you want to buy a chocolate with your own money. SHUT THE FUCK UP! I want to get through the money part in one go, so I continue. Later that night she said she was hungry and we should order a pizza. Yeah, right. :D You see, both the pizza and the drink came in really, really handy, but her behavior was still questionable. If we ever meet again, I should definitely use Enrique's approach: Kate: You could give me a few vinyls! Enrique: Why the FUCK would you need vinyls?! K: Well, you know, to listen to them. E: You don't even have a vinyl player. K: But I know someone who has! E: Oh, wow, do you now? You are not getting any. Now, you might say so far this was the price to pay, and you might be right. I mean, it wasn't like "oooooh dang, I left my wallet at home!!!" or anything like that. He told me straight out even before we met that she doesn't have much money. But when she fucking dropped a random sentence while talking about work... It was basically about that she'll only be able to buy a few things to eat tomorrow. Haha, I knew she would eventually ask money from me, right there. And yep, it happened later, 1,5 pizza money. It was sometime between the two acts (more on those later) and I was a bit out of faith by that, so I just said yes, because that money is really not much for me, and she never even asked me about my financial situation, so it's not even like I couldn't have lied that I'm not exactly well off myself either. I just wanted to be done with that part. Later, after the Second Act, I did tell her, that if we were to meet again,it would only be on my term that money talk can not happen again. So yeah, this was the third Gate of Hell. We arrived back to the apartment, Enrique took a quick shower, she was already turned on, we somehow fell of a chair lmao, to which Enrique told us to chill out, it's only a couple of minutes and he's gone. As they hugged goodbye, Enrique told Kate to take a shower because she fucking smells. L. O. L. I obviously smelled it, but did not say anything, because I knew that she was coming from work, and based on her grooming habits she took care of herself. I do not know though if she uses deodorants and such or not. Like, she never asked me for any the next morning. All right, First Act Begins! Your well deserved reward for putting up with the story so far! We were about to shower together and I was starting to feel weird. Is this what big boys do? Is this how they do it? Could I just still nope out? Will a dream of mine, listening to Nine Inch Nail's Closer while having sex come true this night?!?!?! It did not, guys. It did not. A moment of silence please. There we are, naked! Exciting... I guess. Is it? Oh yeah, I wasn't sure if I had to do a big thing (talking about toilet, guys) or not. I did not care how unsexy it might be, I tried, you know, better safe than sorry, but I did not have to. Or I was too scared. Or both. Anyway, we are in the shower cabin. Water starts flowing. Oh, I remember this!!!! I've seen enough movies to know what to do now. I did not let you down, guys!! I went in for a passionate kiss under the hot water!! And it was fucking terrible. My eyes were burning, I was swallowing hot water and I could not breathe. We agreed that it's probably best if we stop this. xD I tried to be cute, putting shower gel on her and use it, but water kept flowing onto her, so whenever I put on the gel, it was just washed away instantly. I tried it like three times, like the fucking autistic I am. Spoiler alert: water won all the time. I gave her my shampoo, a purple head & shoulders, it's awesome, though it was weird later on, because it was kinda like fucking myself. I'm not saying I'm not in love enough of myself to not be able to enjoy the feeling, but it was still strange. Then came the shaving part. I did not even see why she wanted to shave herself, it was barely visible, but she did it anyway. I could not watch, however as she shaved around the inner parts of her lady part. I have no problem watching gore, but this was brutal. No. NO. I might some feminine characteristics, but I could not survive in a girls' body, that's for sure. As for me, I let her shave me a bit, you know, so I can say "I did this too!", but can't say I had the nerve to watch it all. I hate shaving. Well, not shaving itself, but the fact that if you don't keep it totally shaven, aka shaving almost every other day, then it's torment to even walk around. Told her I'm not gonna shave the balls. I did it once, for that ONE girl. She did not ask it in particular, it's just that love can make you shave your balls. I mean, back then, it went pretty smoothly, I think I only cut myself once, but that pain must've been close to what Illidan felt during his imprisonment. Oh, and isn't life funny, back then, when I was groomed everywhere like a handsome pornstar, I tripped on the finish line and impaled myself. But here I am now, just shaved on the important part, balls untouched, yet I'm about to score with someone I did not even buy a fucking plush dog. GODDAMMIT. That dog was so dope, any other girl would've wet herself... -.- Probably worth to note that we talked a little about preferences online and she said she is not a fan of oral, whether it's giving or getting. Okay, long story short, talking about sex before sex doesn't mean shit. Luckily she did not dress up after the shower, only used the towel. I was so afraid she might put up her bra... Imagine ME trying to unlock someone's bra. I'd somehow probably end up shooting rockets with an RPG at the bra before it would come off for good. Me, I was walking around naked. It felt only a bit weird, as at home during the summer it's my basic outfit in my room. We drank a little and sat on the bed. As I said, it was not a drill this time. Unlike Zs (double vagina girl), I could not use tutorial mode. So thinking something along the line of "I guess that's how it starts..." I hugged her from behind and pulled us on our back. We looked at each other, some kisses and my Houston said it's go time! Now, you are aware that when it comes to this part, I'm already a sex God. Fingerbanging a girl with double vj to bleeding makes you scoff at simple girls with their lonely vagina. "Is that all?" I asked to myself. Not really though, as I wanted to be good, and in order to do that I wanted to walk any extra miles that came along the way. Titty play, titsucking, necksucking - to which she said no; I guess we are too old to walk around with sucking marks on our neck, damn, I might never get to experience it!!! - and kisses. Oh yeah, kisses. I liked the way she kissed, but the first few times I had to resist the urge to vomit into her mouth, because it smelled like cigarettes. But this is my fucking life; I am the poster child of a passive-smoker. I am going to be so fucking furious once I get cancer.... anyway, I think I wasn't too bad either, though I did rip her lips apart a few times with my braces. Boohoo, whatever. It's just some flesh girls, it regenerates. I should take a step back and describe her body. I talked about her tomboyish behaviour and even looks. She was a very solid 7.5-8 naked. Long hair, A+ butts, big titties, but not obscene big, just right big, and rocking that (not thin) hourglass look, with her blue eyes complement her fair hair. By the time I mobilized the Finger Team (not gonna ever call it that, swear), she was already wet. Nice! She only had to tell me "not so rough" once, which means it was worth the destruction of Zs's vaginal parts. I learned from my mistakes! I eventually went down on her and based on her reactions it's safe to say now she really enjoyed it, as she became more active and even starting to be a bit more agressive (like with her hands on my back) and also, I felt how her walls inside shrunk. Did not break my finger this time, hah! However, I can't say it was an easy choice what to do when I was only fingering her. It was like a heavy choice in RPGs. Go at her head are (neck, lips, ear), stay at her boobs (left or right; I wasn't even sure if I should keep switching. 90% of the time I was just sucking the right one, that one seemed friendlier) or go down on her. I remember when I was little, got stuck in a game and just used Cheatland. Well, well, little did I know I'll never ever have it as easy as back then. It is good as time as any to mention how it happened many times (well, not like 20 times, but compared to how misleading it was, even one would've been one too many) during both acts that she kept saying "just like this!" or "don't stop now!", and I did just as I was ordered, but she did not come from that! What the fuck was that, then? Like, I can't imagine me going "Yes, yes keep doing it now, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES, okay, 20 more minutes and I'm gonna cum". After the First Act I was under the impression I was a literal sex god, and almost asked her HOW MANY times did she cum. Eventually I only asked her if she did, though, and thank God, because she said she was close, but did not come. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. That sentence must be the equivalent to "I like you as a friend!". That feeling when you pass the tutorial with flying colours, but you have to realize in your first real game that there's only so much a tutorial could help you. Not long after I went down on her and she turned all crazy she pulled me back and I thought she wants to start kissing, but she stopped my chest with her left hand, grabbed my dick with his left one and started to pull it towards... THERE. This is what went through my head: - NO - NOT YET - WAIT - SHIT - IS THIS HAPPENING - DID LEICESTER CITY REALLY WON THE LEAGUE But what I actually said was to hold on, I grab the condoms. Oh yeah, she wanted to do it without it, she said she never really used it. Why do things like this always come up after I ate the soul out of their pussy? Like, it's not like I wouldn't have went down either way, but at least let me know if I'm going to the nearest practice field or to the mine fields of the Iron Curtain. Anyway, I grabbed my Durex Thin (thin my ass, lol) and I was thinking of using the free lube which came with it, but I thought it could only cause more harm. Like, it should go in just fine, but if I use that shit, it might cause unnecessary trouble. Okay, I asked her to put it on, you know, how sexy is that, right? But that was when she told she did not really use that before. Good shit. The first one did not want to go up, but we did it with co-jointed effort for the next one. Okay, it felt weird. I did not want to ashame myself of trying to put it in the wrong hole (why do girls have a million holes there to begin with?), so I just kept it firm, and she put it in - thankfully I did not have to verbally communicate it. I rather pierced all the holes than ask her to help; I do have some pride, after all! Okay, I watched as the mighty D disappeared in her. And now, the audience goes silent. 24< years in the making. How was it?! Did I just enter the Realm of Joy? Was it like finding your first legendary in Diablo 2? Was it like finishing Mafia? Was it like listening to Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory on cassette for the first time? Was it like seeing Star Wars for the first time? Was it like all of the above combined? Lean in closely, I'm gonna tell you: I did not feel shit. Nothing. I tried to kept moving but she took the lead and she did the motions instead, LOL. What the fuck, I thought I've seen enough porn that was new to me. I did not complain, hell, it was pretty hot to be honest. After a while she said to change places. She got on top and wow, still didn't feel shit. All right, just kidding, that was pretty good, but still not the infamous "omg, 20 seconds and I'm gonna climax!!", it just... felt good. We did it for a while, and she told me to cum. WHAT. WHAT. How exactly? She stopped after a while, said she was exhausted and can't go on because of her heart. If you remember Zs, you might start to see a pattern of me murdering everyone around me, but wait until we arrive to the end of the Second Act! I already told you she did not climax, but me neither, which was especially strange, since it was more than 80 hours by then I did. So, you know, it's supposed to happen within... 10 seconds I guess. But truth to be told, I could never even get it up fully. I don't know why, and it was extremely annoying, because (too much information in 3... 2... 1...) I have the girth, so if I could get it up properly, I could just switch to autopilot, because I could put the few good genes I inherited from my dear parents to good genes. But no, that would be just too fucking easy. It must be like Jedi Knight 2: Jedi Outcast, where you had to go through all the shit, torment, pain, suffering, restart, trial and error to get to the part where you could sweat blood and lose hair to be able to obtain your lightsaber. Sure, once you had it, it was like WHOOOOOSH, but it wasn't free, that's for sure. Almost same thing with KOTOR2. I want my fucking lightsaber already! Anyway, more on this later. So, I had mixed feelings, but I was optimistic that half an hour or so and we start again, and then... whooooooooosh. Or at least splash. Cigarette for her, endless water for me. I was dry like the Sahara. She went to the laptop and started showing me songs and talking. A lot. She did not seem to run out of things to say and I can't say all of them were equally interesting. At least, in case I had not realized it by then, her daddy issues became more apparent. But she did not really get sentimental, and by that i mean she did not cry or anything. I guess I can call cuddling what I did with her, Hours passed by and I started to worry, especially when she talked about being tired and about getting to work tomorrow. We drink our last shot, aaand... nothing. Some more songs she sang along to - and she had a nice voice so it was pleasant to listen to it but I would've done something else, if you are catching my drift. I asked her once if she'd come to the bed, but she said a bit later. Uh-oh. Around midnight, she said she's tired, shut down the laptop and asked me to kill the last few lights. Not like this... it can't end like this... I even told her we could do try it without a condom this time, to which she faintly laughed. You see, I remembered a friend of mine's story about how he had one of his best fucks when they woke up in the middle of the night (and it was a one night stand), so I was like maybe this is how it's going to go down! But she seemed tired though, and I mean, in a way, I was too. I knew I was not going to force anything, as basically giving red or green light is entirely in the girl's control. We lay down, we are like half cuddling, I give her some kisses (face, shoulders, top of her head), you know, maaaaaybe this is how the magic starts, but nothing. I am ready to be suffocated by my own thoughts as I turn on my back, still grabbing each-other. She makes these weird sounds and holds me closer, but doesn't do anything, basically hugs me in bed. I am confused. Like, I really don't want to rape anyone, and she said she's tired, but she just keep clinging to me. At this point I decided I'll try to slowly make a moves a few minutes later, you know, worst case scenario I get shrugged off, not much to lose at that point, right? But then she moved her hand into a weird position. I can't explain you exactly how. It was like extremely close to touching my lower back, but did not actually connect. Well, that turned me on, and I was starting to get enough of these shenanigans, like seriously, what the fuck is this? The ultimate last straw was when I actually felt I'm fully charged down there. All my respects to the girls out there, but you can't just deny the request of a fully erect penis. You might shrug off Freeza's orders, but final form Freeza's? No way. I started to do my jazz, you know, neck kisses, lips, feeling out boobs, sucking on boobs and seeing how there were no resistance to this, quite the opposite, judged from the sounds. I reach down, and she's... dry. Oh. That could've been my time to shine, to be able to finally put the fully evolved donger in, but no, it had to be dry. Fuck my life. Well, good ole' fingering started, and once it sounded like I'm fingering a lake, things got turned up a notch or two. Viewer's discretion is advised! I told you how I took it seriously, so did not want to ask any unnecessary questions, but I felt some might be helpful, you know? Like, I asked her if she wants me to go down on her, and she said "Yes, please..." Wooo! Not sure why some people don't like to go down, I mean, I read stories about guys who straight up refuse to do so. Whaaaaat. I'm wondering though if not licking the clit, but actually licking inside (or the) vagina is also effective. I would've drown that night though if I were to do that. Oh, and thing thing I just don't understand. All right, she used one of her hands to jerk me, but - when I was just fingering her - why didn't she used her hands to stimulate her clit?! Same shit went down with Zs. Anyway, she told me to reposition myself, so I as like.. right knees down, left leg a bit up, kept fingering her and she started to give me a head. Damn, I was afraid of this, given my rather bad history with getting a blowjob, so I was afraid of having to tell her to just stop, but to my surprise, it was decent. Like, it was still this very numb feeling, but it felt good. Hell, one time I felt I was actually close, and maybe if I stop focusing on her, and focus entirely on telling her to do exactly what she was doing and even help myself (and her) out, I could've cum, but I chose not to. Another problem of mine is that while I'm focusing on her, I have no idea about the condition of my thing. And by that I mean I don't know how erect it is, I just don't feel the thing, it's like it doesn't even there, whether it's being jerked by her, or given head to, or being inside. I did not want to risk trying to penetrate her with only a semi-erect stuff I believe once she stopped blowing me and I want back to licking, that was when her hand went on an adventure. And by that I mean the next thing I realised was someone touching my asshole. You remember when I talked about RPGs and choice? Well, it was like The choice in RPGs. Light or Dark side. The Chantry or The Templars. Kill the Reapers with red, blue or green fire? I remember in Dragon Age: Origins, there were choices like this where I was thinking between 30-60 minutes, they were really hard!! But now, I did not have the luxury to weight everything, it was just us there in the room. And it was actually quite stimulating. In other words, good. I should probably say, that whenever I start the fingering, I never stop. I'm actually afraid to stop. The training of my right hand with Zs was enough for Act One, but Two... that required more of everything. But that thing she did just boosted me, so I kinda went town on her down there. She asked me if it's good and I said yes. Then she asked me if she could (or should, don't know) go further. I mean, guys. Guys, listen to me. Guys... Yeah, I don't have anything to defend myself, but I said yes. Seemed like a logical next step to me. Getting a finger. In my ass. I would say I'm not gay, but isn't that what a gay would say?! Goddammit! Either way, it created an interesting chain reaction. The kink levels just made go overdrive, so I one upped the pace which I thought was impossible to one up before I upped it up three times already since. Now, the problem was that she tried to match my pace, so when I was working my hands to the bone, she did the same with hers. Eventually the feeling of kink was replaced by a quickly growing, unbearable pain. I had to tell her to not go so deep, so she did not. Then I had to tell her to go back even further, so she did. And finally I had to tell her to just not go in altogether. I did not tell her that the reason was that I was about to die on the spot. Oh, and she fucking licked her finger during that. Nice!! I'm not saying that was hot, but it was fucking hot. After that she said to move my legs, and after I did, I realized we just switched into 69. Well, well, well... so we finally meet!! It was more than pleasant, and not just because my ass was no longer being assaulted. However, in that position, a lightbulb just appeared over me. It was time. To ask the question. If I could go down on HER ass, and she said I could try. It was like a free fall, the moment my tongue reached out and the moment it connected. But it was fine! Like... clean. I'm not saying you could not smell ANYTHING, but kissing her after a cigarette was grades worse than that, it was like nothing. Yet she lost the remaining control she had over her body. I was getting pressed and clawed like if she wanted to kill me. I am quite sure I experienced every possible physical pain on the spectrum that night. I wouldn't have been surprised if Steve Harvey were hovering over me while I'm losing all my life signs, and he'd nervously say "Still a great night!". He would not have been wrong though. She grabbed my leg, and she started to bite my feet... "I'm terribly sorry, there was one physical pain we, I mean I completely forgot. It's MY fault. The last pain is getting bitten. Still a great night, everyone!" - FUCK OFF STEVE HARVEY! It wasn't bad though, it was fucking hot. Like, I just knew she went bonkers, and that was because Volband was putting on a clinic! Except when we break some stuff during all the violent movements. Then she wanted to work on me again, but it was getting more annoying than good. Like, I was all over the place, and I had no time or energy or experience or all of these combined to - on top of all this - give her instructions to do it lighter, or faster, or harder. I told her to start working on herself instead, and then my left hand, who did basically nothing, ever, he was not even ever invited to a masturbating session got his call up to the team. It's like, when you are the 3rd goalkeeper of a team for 24 years, and then all of a sudden you are subbed in during the penalty shootout in the Champions League. I got one, then two fingers in, later switched back to one when she said it hurts a bit - lmao, I was fucking dying to one alone, but all right. And then she started to moan like crazy. And by that I mean I was starting to get self-conscious. Yes, me who just got fingerbanged, licked an asshole started to get self-conscious by how loudly she was moaning. And once again, my arms were dying. Left barely started but was already having problems due to its bad condition, and right was like the champ. I would rather cut that shit off from me, than endure the burning feeling I got in the last minute, but I was thinking about all the people I would disappoint if I back down there. I figuratively put my heart into her as well. And she came. SHE CAME! THEN I GAVE HER A SMALL KISS! WHERE ARE YOU NOW, STEVE HARVEY?! I did not have much time to celebrate with her, as she was about to die on the spot. Like, her first words were "turn... on... the... lights......". I did, and she was laying there, sweating like a madmen, she looked quite bad. Asked me to help her sit up, I opened the door to the balcony, brought her water, put a towel around her and she asked me to bring her inhalator. In the movies, people smile at each other romantically, but not with Volband guys. If you are me, you can watch as she puts that shit into her mouth and uses it twice, which is like listening to Darth Vader taking two quick breaths. The way things are escalating lately, I'm quite sure I'm going to murder my wife accidentally. After she regained some strength (aka came back from death) we talked, and she said her only problem was that I did not cum. Well, yeah.It's pretty much my only concern too. I mean, it's not that it was deadly important to do so that night, it's just a bit worrying. Sure, I can say I was tired, it was still a new thing and I was rather selfless, but I could not even get it up fully, aside from that cuddling part. Though not sure how I forgot to tell her to go for my neck... I guess somehow I took it for granted it would happen anyway, and I did not even have it in my mind. Right now, the only way I can see to achieve proper erection is either by asking her to do anything with my neck, or me going in bare. I mean, I could buy a new condom, but it was already advertised as thin. Well Mr. Thin felt like my dick was suffocated. But yeah, she could have been with many guys, though she said she recently spent a lot of money to take a thorough test, because her ex's living condition is abysmal and she got afraid, but I mean, until I don't see a paper these are just words. After we went back to bed she asked me - as I told you earlier - if it was really my first time. I wasn't sure if I should take it as a compliment or if it was just out of curiosity but it was pretty much the only meaningful question she asked me all day, lol. Aside from the possibly rhetorical question after (just before she asked the first time question) if I think she's taking advantage of me (or using me, not sure how I phrased it), which came up right after I told her that no money talk if we ever to meet again. Then she asked me to really not cuddle her because she's fucking hot, and then I experienced the infamous struggle with the blanket. Duuuude...Even if it's 40 degrees (celsius, you barbarians) outside, I need the blanket to a least touch my pinky finger so I can sleep properly. Well, it could have been the love of my life, the bearer of my 12 children next to me, if I am being honest, I would have wanted to kick everyone off to the fucking ground who conquers the blanket the way she did. It's not like did not have it on me, but I just couldn't move, and was eventually forced out, and then she used it all on herself!!!!! Oh, all the while she was """"sleeping"""". I got up early, around 5:30, played some Angry Birds, you know, living life to its fullest. It was a real thunderstorm out there, and she woke up around 7 when Enrique called her. We got up, but did not talk at all about last night. Went to the pub (the second one we were the previous day) where we met Enrique, she ordered Coke for me and herself and even paid for it. FROM MY MONEY... Oh well, I mean, she tried. We were there for an hour or an hour and a half, but we did not talk much. I mean me and her. Went back to the apartment, we talked there, because Enrique found a vintage vinyl player and we tried a bunch of vinyls. Holy shit, that was an experience in itself! Especially those russian "rubber" vinyls... I've never even heard about those. Enrique, being himself, out of the blue dropped this beauty: - Are you together now? Wow. She said no so I did not have to. We helped to pack some of Enrique's stuff up, we said goodbye to him, not sure if I'll ever see him. I'M STILL NOT GAY. It's just that he's the type of guy you'd drink a couple of beers with every half year. We went to the station with Kate, but while passing the first pub, Mr. G. made a cameo, waving to her like a madmen. Oooh, I bet he was eager to learn any information about last night. Who knows, maybe he even got some, maybe he got it all, dunno, don't really care to be honest. We were sitting on the bench, she was showing some pictures on her phone, and seeing how my train was due in 5 minutes, I had to ask her if she enjoyed (herself) last night. I did not to go to the sentimental route, but given how we did not even talk about it, it would've left a bad taste in my mouth if I don't ask. She said yes and she hopes we'll meet again. Neat, even though it's generic "how to reply 101". I don't know if she'd really want to meet again, haven't talked since. Maybe she did not initiate because she legitimately thinks it's up to me and if I don't hit her up, it means I'm done with her. Who knows. I will probably call her tomorrow afternoon, but not even sure what to say. I don't want to be too friendly, because, you know, that's just not a good idea, since I know I will never want a serious relationship with her. I don't even feel that we could talk. Like, yes, she said many things, but only a few of them interested me. I mean, it's not the main reason why we won't be together, I told you what's that, but I mean I'm not even sure we could just hang out in a friendly way. Still, I can't just call her and ask "eeeeyooo, wanna fuck tomorrow night?". And thirdly, how much will it cost me? All right, we settled that she won't get any money. Still, I have to pay for the place and whatever we eat or drink during. So, around 6 pizzas at least. That's my monthly protein lmao. All in all, it was a great experiences, definitely no regrets, so even if it ends like this, I can't complain. As for me... I should probably slow down, but my breaks doesn't seem to work. | ||
farvacola
United States18768 Posts
| ||
RvB
Netherlands6077 Posts
| ||
CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: In a way I adjusted myself to online dating within my range of possibilities and amount of effort I'm willing to put in. First off, normal dating sites imo are a waste of time if you are in a smaller country (~10 If a girl reads a "witty letter" and can tell that there was a lot of effort put into it, she's going to be turned off. There is nothing less sexy than someone trying too hard to be something. (I put quotation marks because truly witty people don't obsess over whether other people perceive them as being witty. They usually enjoy saying witty things and writing witticisms; it is natural for them. They certainly don't expect to be rewarded for traits that are everyday habits.) On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: The absolute worst thing is how many girls put themselves on a pedestal. 7 out of 10 girls profile says they are looking for a guy who can make them laugh. Now, credit where its due, a very few of these girls actually had some witty profile stuff, but most of them were literally the most boring people on Earth looking for someone to be funny. Get real. Also, what the fuck is up with "I love nature and going out to nature. It's important that you love this too!" Bitch, is that really THE thing you want to sell yourself with? Is this the thing that makes a relationship tick for you? I mean, the amount of girls who are apparently rolling down from the hills every weekend are very high on that site, yet I never met a girl like this. Maybe because I sticked to cities. Does this mean if I go on a trip to the nearest forest, I will find random hot babes who are just there loving nature? Credit where it's due, most girls are being truthful when they say they want a guy who can make them laugh. But like negging, it paints an incomplete picture. Above all, women want affect in a social interaction. They want to experience emotions, preferably an entire range of them, and feel they can be uninhibited in experiencing them without social judgment or pressure. That corny cliche where the girl says "I feel safe" with her love interest has some merit. Now, you should realize that you're contradicting yourself: by definition most women can't be the "most boring people on Earth". Online profiles, like any other type of profile, are attempting to sell an identity. Are you surprised that they go for something that is as close as value-neutral as it gets? It's almost impossible for most guys/girls to think "I don't like nature" when most of them have never been in the woods or out in the middle of the ocean. Not to mention, few people will think it's a bad thing. On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: The second worst thing is girls who are just there to mend their self-esteem. All of them broke up with their boyfriends days or weeks prior to registering to the site. They always reply to you, you might even think you hit it off, but then a complete change of heart from their side. Aren't you the one who takes personal offence when girls don't respond to your artificial attempts to impress them? It's not just some online phenomenon. Jumping back into the dating pool, "hanging out with the bros", rebound sex, etc. are all things both sexes do to regain their sense of self after a bad breakup. If other people confirm they are really attractive/intelligent/one night stand worthy/whatever, it means they are not irredeemably broken. On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: There must be a way to be able to court some of these girls, but I sure as hell did not too close to it. Actually, my final verdict is that for me it's just a waste of time and got rather repelled by these girls. Like, some of them are on the site for years and they look decent - that's not a good sign. There's a name for what you're doing, and it's cognitive dissonance. Your specific example is what Jon Eslter calls "adaptive preference formation". When a person wants something but cannot attain it, they readjust expectations by devaluing the original desire. In fact, your entire post is pretty much variations of "I can't hook up with these girls, but they're all garbage anyway". On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: Good for me I was not hard pressed to find True Love, I was fine with casual hookups, so I tried the tinder-like approach. What a relief compared to that other site... it skips the whole cold approach part, so you don't waste time. Now, obviously, I don't know what is the secret of hooking up with babes there either, you'd need an at least normal looking girl and an objectively handsome dude's input to have a somewhat unbiased picture. You could never get an unbiased picture from your criteria. It's designed to satisfy your own prejudices. On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: I basically just "liked" everyone and this is how I ended up with a lot of girls whom I did not even have the slightest desire towards. They were mainly fat, but instead of ignoring them I figured I might as well see where things could go. Some of them were into meeting me, but some of them freaked out when I said I don't want anything serious. Like, I understand that as with all people, they want to be loved too, but Jesus, the tantrum they can throw sometimes! Well, imagine what a fat girl goes through when it comes to dating. On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: I never actually met any of them. A friend of mine said it would be a bad idea to do so, because if I'm not attracted, then I won't be able to get hard. As we will see later in the story, he was probably right, but the main reason I said no one day before these meetings because I always had to draw a line. Like, I could treat sex casually, I wouldn't mind one off things, nor would I mind banging average chicks, I would not think less of myself, but there's a line where I just could not look into the mirror, and getting sexual with people I find unattractive is among that. And by that I mainly mean fat people, sorry. I never even knew I was so fucking repelled by obesity, but I had to realize that I might bang some average, dumb girl, yet not touch a smart, easy to talk to fat one. I believe personality can come an extremely long way to make someone attractive, but not even that could make me fall for an obese girl. Having extra weight is fine, can fit one's personality too, but being fat is just... ah, should not waste more words on this, you get the drill. Hold on...let me get this straight:
But having sex with unattractive people is your Gandalf moment? Most ordinary people would not have sex with people they are not sexually attracted to, so...congratulations? What is the point of telling us something that most people would agree with anyway? Or was the entire point? To be apologetically introspective? On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: One of the girls who was not particularly fat, hell, even got a nice face which is like a million extra points for me, was ready to meet with me, but she was doodoo in the head! Like, clingy. Basically, I got my own medicine from the past. "I see you already seen what I wrote to you..." and stuff. 0 self-esteem. Yeaaah, no! We've established women with low self-esteem are attracted to you in a disproportionate way. Hmm...this could mean something. On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: It's probably high time to mention that my educated observation that you get a roll of smart/stupid and ugly/attractive on women. Your roll modifiers are your pictures, bio, etc. Ugly-stupid is the most common combination, and are basically a free ride. The problem is, one of these traits are hard enough to bear, the combination of them is just too much. Like, when she can't even fucking write properly, because the last time she saw a literature book was when she used it to lit fire. I understand if I come off as an asshole now, but at the very least I consider myself average and not dumb as fuck. I guess if I were to wake up next to a girl like that with a hangover, I'd say "wow, must've been an interesting night!" and laugh it off, but to consciously let it happen. Nah... she was doodoo in the head! she was doodoo in the head! she was doodoo in the head! Getting that out of the way... It's very interesting that you consider yourself average, but girls (by your criteria) are incapable of being average. They can only be "bad" or "good", further separated into "good-good"/"good-bad""bad-good"/"bad-bad". Furthermore, they are apparently incapable of being attractive/intelligent in some ways and not in others. This is called splitting, and it's a defense mechanism used when the subject has lots of unresolved anger and frustration. Which is fine as long as said subject doesn't conflate it with a honest interpretation of reality. On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: Then there are the attractive but stupid ones. Well, can't say I met too many of them, as they don't have self-esteem issues, quite contrary, so they are most probably lured in by the hot guys. What makes you think attractive, stupid girls don't have self-esteem issues? One's level of self-esteem is not a product of intelligence, but perception. On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: For another girl, who is actually not that bad, I gave the phone to my friend, who never used stuff like this, but never had a problem getting girls. He's the one in my waitress story. Anyway, he asks her when did she have sex for the last time out of the blue, like, we were talking about something completely different. I was like geeeez, what have you done? But she replied "not recently". I was like what the fuck. Then he said (well, typed) "me too. we should do something about it" and she had a laugh and says she likes my style. LOL. It makes no sense, but it's how it happened. It makes perfect sense. He's slightly unpredictable, bold and actually upfront with his sexual desire; perhaps most importantly, he's not especially invested in the interaction. I'll take a wild guess and say this is the opposite of you, despite the fact that you incessantly talk about sex throughout this post. Girls are only as coy about sex as the outside world lets them be. On July 29 2016 17:29 Volband wrote: Now, as for the smart and attractive ones... that's a struggle, for me at least. I don't get many of them and it feels like walking on ice. It also reminds me how fucking isolated am I from normal girls in general, like, I have ONE girl friend. It's hard not to treat them like aliens when I barely interact with them. And that's my biggest conclusion: somehow I should get to meet and know more girls casually. Not sure how do I do that, other than hunting for those adventurers in the forest. Ok, let's play your game. Women are only X or Y in two categories, and you want the best possible combination. Why should a smart and attractive girl want to be with an average guy? What possible relationship could you have that could satisfy her sexually, emotionally, or intellectually? Furthermore, why would a smart and attractive girl want to be with a guy who self-admittedly only attracts girls with self-esteem issues? Why would a smart and attractive girl want to be with a guy who only evaluates women according to their looks and some vague notion of "intelligence"? Introspection without guidance is most often a defense mechanism. You think the problem is an issue of "tactics", and you could overcome your shortcomings if only you had more experience. But that came about because you want to believe the problem is a surface issue. Even if you mastered outer game in all its facets, you would still be as equally miserable now as you were before. | ||
| ||