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I finally wrote a poem I like, but I need to cut pieces to make it in pentameter, so here is the draft, I'll post the final result as well. dark place, I'm walking in this tunnel, it's been long, I can't remember when there was light, I've been walking alone, it feels wrong I vaguely remember a torch, before I got short-sight
it's cloudy, I see only one far away star, but I'm a black sheep, how can it be the shepherd, rainy days, even when it's sunny, feel trap in a jar, no bird to feed my thirst, me the leopard
do you see the odd, or am I bound to my misery, need a hobby, need a passion, to revive the flame I'm connecting to my poetry, that's my bravery but I'm too lazy, this is quite lame
are my eyes closed, did I turn my back? how come, can't see the light, how come it is all black?
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dark place, I'm walking in this tunnel, it's been long, I can not remember when there was light, I have been walking alone, it feels wrong I remember a torch, 'fore the short-sight
it's cloudy, I see only one small star, I'm a black sheep, can it be the shepherd? sur or not it's rainy, trap in a bar, no bird to feed my thirst, me the leopard
see the odd?, am I bound to misery? I need a hobby, to revive the flame although poetry is my bravery I'm too hazy and lazy, this is lame
are my eyes closed or did I turn my back? can't see the light, how come it is all black?
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love island aloof, mental isolation, stranded on an ether island, still by a crowd you are surrounded,to you it sounded like your odd soul was taking off your bod
could feel my heart pumping, harder, faster, could feel the thick blood rushing through my veins, get sweaty, hard to focus, got weirder my sick brain "it is danger", he explains
then ride's over, back to the real world, arteries relaxed, my frail heart slows down, can breath, no longer I wanted to curled less shaky, 'fter what that at me was thrown past the prime I never had, briefly too, now to the good times, for now it's still blue
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finding a meaning oxford, lust, noun, strong sexual desire desire as nothing else I'm wishing for, sexual as naughty, primal as fire, lots of shame for my thoughts, nothing hardcore
love, intense feeling of deep affection, and sexual attraction for someone, I know it's just my imagination, always thinking that, this time, she's the one,
infatuation, intense but short-lived passion for someone or/and for something, for our "story", that makes me sleep deprived, for her, she is all of what I'm thinking,
she looks like one, named as one, my angel, must ask for your rejection, Gabrielle
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in the blood as ugly as I'm, to her I'm the star, how long until she fully forgets me? she doesn't know me,she doesn't know of my bar life, if only she knew my whole story
always there at my lowest, never there at my best, she doesn't get to see my smile she doesn't get to hear me laugh either, where she is I'm always, in her mind and bile
she could never hate me even when I did her wrong, she never stopped loving me, even when I hated her, I'm like my father, maybe then her heart is empty
as me, she is sick, but it's worsening, as me, of a life she was 'ways dreaming
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guinnesses a couple of that dark bitter guinness, and my shitty life seems to be okay no more though, three and it is all a mess I'm afraid that my hair will not turn grey
as a sea, the hardest is diving in, but slowly you acclimate to the zest, child like, hate coming back to the margin and soon you feel like you are but the best,
as the bard as soon as you close the door, you are back to fighting your own demons, and soon enough you're swearing "nevermore" a lie from your sick imagination,
machinations, that is your daily grind, poison, remedy, two stouts for your mind
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saturday caffeine life is passing through dwindling down the drain my mind's main reaction: isolation craving from the cold clogged up cave, my brain machination from imagination
self sabotage, welcome the misery treachery heart and brain, fight' each other slippery rope to sure insanity, arrogantly acting like none matter
every attempt yet another failure, every thing leading to one,I am sick sooner or later, just beat the measure, this is what's written, it's my own music
beautiful and tortured, like every soul, no originality, anoth' fool
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reflection bitter, loser, shitter, basement dweller, whining, self hating, self deprecating, liar,time waster,wanker, bad lover, criticizing judging, over thinking,
sick lunatic, laconic, moronic, perverted, isolated, self centered, geek, static, neurotic, addict, manic obsessed, infatuated, bad mannered
lazy, crazy, nosy, toxicity weirdo, salaud, crapaud, couch potatoe, sassy, trashy, cowardly, stupidly, virgo, zero, garbo, hobo, bozo
creep, peep, sheep, cheap, weep, steep, jerk, derp, ass, bleak bland, empty, ill, failure, nay sayer, weak
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working day For some there is a fear of missing out, but to others, alas timas has flewn by, the happy times of take, night, and black out, lots say it's gonna be alright, that's a lie,
for the damn clock is never done ticking, but to men and women time is counted, and for they are some winning, some losing, it has been like this since life existed,
the eternal quest then start to reverse, cus unknown is too scary, man seek comfort, chase has changed from happiness to sadness, and then your solitude become your fort,
you'd rather live in your own fantasy, the far of being finally happy.
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try reading this one from bottom to top as well
reverse the tape it always starts the same, first the thinking, I feel like I'm going kind of insane caught my eyes, or ears, or heart or something many visages, but she's still the same
every time that we meet it gets weirder I become stupid, she took all my wit don't understand why I should smother her they say I have to fight... I want to embrace it
it's torture, all that tensions in my mind I always felt compassion for my foe, you can't fight love, they say, it makes you blind it feels like she's there everywhere I go
it oft' feels like this is my true passion I can't and won't stop my dear depression
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craving a nice freshly brewed cup of black coffee, a warm embrace, a light touch on your cheek, a nice cake, pie, or sugary pastry, a kiss from the lips of that pretty chick,
a snatching you from reality book, a brand new pair of shoes good for running, a new class shirt that is good for your look, a new beat that make you feel like dancing,
the soft fluff of a newly born bunny, the smell of grass or the sea salt air, the companionship of a cute puppy, to walk on the hot sand or grass foot bare,
craving are not all nasty, but okay, like a winter slumber waiting for May
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back home, night's back after the sun is done shining, back to calm, the tide is back to low rise, time to clean after all the partying, it's time to make changes and become wise,
a hungerover for a fleeting moment, then back to being sober for some years, soon the memories will only be a fragment, maybe there will, at first, be some hot tears,
say goodbye to new and hello to old, but it was ncie spending some times abroad, at least now you have some stories to told, let's what's next on my god damn road,
time to go back to your family, at least they will all feel joy and glee
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summer night a breeze of air in the summer night, each step like a waltz, head lightly spinning, both of you walking, wondering if they might, they keep on talking, grinning, laughing,
the road seems endless or ephemeral, too bad the takeaways are all closed now, horny and hungry like some animal, asphalt feels as comfy as a meadow,
get back up, take another turn and back home, you are rattling the key just a little, you're used to that dance, as writing a poem, again and again you mix your spittle,
a sweet summer night made even shorter, odd and magical time, time of wonder
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ghouls, the ghouls of past time to whom you gave birth, drag you into the ravine of madness, consume you, but were fed on purpose. Earth, is full of ghouls' mothers. On your mattress,
you feed them, and give birth to even more, they become your friends, thanks to your nursing, they end up taking all of your vigor, you keep spiralling, , they keep on growing,
to silence them you need a shiny spark, to light the fire that kept them away, conquer your own hell and redeem your ark, or they'll own your mind till your hair turn grey,
sometimes it's not clear who feed whose hunger, just as the rolve reverse with some lover
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social isolation, had my mind work on corruption, money replaced by seduction of the devil vocalization, suicidal idealization, worked up from all the machination, descent into my creation, the triggers to institutionalisation, turned into an abomination, feel the acceleration of life deterioration, stopped the motion, ain't any lotion, to heal the scarification, the illusion, the delusion, the hardest misconception, is that i can't escape this passion, for self deprecation, and self induced depression
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never felt as happy as living deep in misery, hiding behind misanthropy, to explain how I'm not friendly, don't know if I got sympathy, don't know if I'm not crazy, it may sounds a bit eerie, this amount of negativity, I know I'm creepy, I know I'm very whiny, also that I'm really silly, but negativity? I think that's a fallacy, I judge myself objectively, doesn't even worry me, this lack of self empathy, sometimes I even think it's funny cuz I don't want to escape this reality, this is my new personality, being all crappy and shitty, now go away nothing to see, I choose my own remedy, I choose the way that's easy, pathetically living in my fantasy, all I got is my crappy poetry, all I want is to live in a tragedy
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failed poet praise makes you happy, but they hide the flaws, then your writing becomes hasty, lazy cuz of the applause, you forget your laws take shortcuts, plunge to mediocrity,
any artist should always be careful, one day you ultimately reach your peak, how to avoid writing something dreadful? how to avoid the dive to pathetic?
working on your art is terribly hard, how to admit that your child isn't perfect? being bad, doesn't stop you from being bard, be warn and be ready for the reject
from editor or public. Me? The steam I release, as stupid as it may seem
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break up dream shattered, fall into oblivion, wake up alone, like she was nev' there. Neat sky, looks like you failed a rescue mission, you'll realize she always clapped off beat,
they say it's as hard as going through grief, but the deceased is none but your own self, or that couple, truth is love is a thief, it'll make you stronger, as a burn a chef,
they say you are, at birth and death, alone, both of those times should be surrounded though, by love, and friendship, and care, not gruesome, sad, even when the two are close, you know
the sole right relationship is the last, all the rest should remain in the damn past.
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masochist some people have too much of that free dom, to escape their lacking reality they create a prison of their own. Bomb ticking, they become boss and employee
they always chase the emotional pain, destroying all hope of getting better, to prove a very silly point. They gain some rush by becoming worst as ever,
I don't know what this shit is called? Cruel, self destructive, masochist, ill, insane? should we pity them? fantasy fueled Or, ignore them? Hippocrate sermon slain...
How do you get help, when all that you think "you deserve it"? What to say to your shrink?
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