Fast forward like 10 minutes of me rushing to get ready because this goose had to bm me and distract me. I rushed out the door into the blinding sunlight, naturally turning my head and recoiling at terror to the solar assault on my eyes. After a second or two, my eyes adjusted and I brought my view forward once more, ready to bear the horrors of the outside world. The goose of geese was blocking my path, it must have been up to my navel with it's beak (and I'm 6'5"!)
This started to play in my head..
"Go away, I need to get to writing!" The monster steps one foot closer
"I mean it, get out of here!" Monster cocks its head like a confused German Shepard
(Hmm, maybe I just need to be aggressive.. Most animals back down to that, right?) Another step forward
(Alright that's it, I'll be super late if I don't get going now!) *Throws backpack to the ground, puts face towards the Goose* "HONKKKKKKK (in my best imitation of its honk)"
Monster steps backwards once (alright, it worked!)
It let out a shrill honk the likes of God has never heard, and charges me.
"OH FUCK!" *Reaches for the door into the dorm, but I realize that it's been a long time since it locked behind me*
Pecks me twice on each leg, then once in the groin. *I, a fully grown/gym toned male, collapse to the ground in pain and despair.*
The monster lets out a victorious honk, over head, and leaves to go find other prey.
*The door opens behind me*, two cute blondes come out side, giggle, and say "Wow, he really took you to town didn't he!"
Pride hurt, I rose up and staggered off to my writing seminar. What a terrible way to start of a day.