I remember last night, it unfolded as most nights do. Girl-business, course-work, dinner, dishes, more work, and then the best part, lying down to bed. But this time, the last step was different. This is how it unfolded:
You get to the bedroom after your ritual of getting ready ~for bed~ , and lie down. The best part is, you’re not alone; tonight’ll be eventful. After rummaging around in the dark, and eventually turning on the light to find the bloody thing, you settle down, stumble through the (optional small-talk of) ‘conversation and discourse’, and you gently peel off that ‘protective’ layer.
I don’t care what they’ll think or say, there’s nothing doing with that thing on, it feels as thick as a damn pencil-case. Just another bulky sheath which already fails at its primary purpose. But enough of that, there are certain ‘objects’ to attend to. Before-hand, you’ve already selected which one you’ll ‘play’ with tonight, and now’s time to see how good it feels.
What’s this? Stiff as a rock, no way that’ll slide. You pop the bottle of lubricant and apply conservatively, seriously, this stuff is a nightmare to get off the sheets. With that done, you wipe the edges with a tissue or two, and keep some handy just in case you get any unwanted “pops”. For that sake, you keep the light on, so that its easier to pick the pieces back up if anything falls out of place in this ‘puzzle’.
And now it’s on to the main event! Divided into three steps: how to get to that ‘desired point’, what to do it with, and ‘event’ to try.
First, you need to learn to get them to that ‘solved state’. Trust me, it really DOES work if you look up techniques or “algorithms” would you online, to crack this ‘brain-teaser’. Cum on, at the end of the day all that matters is that you can ‘finish the race’, right?. Who cares if you print out letters, words or even diagrams on sheets to help you ‘resolve the issue’ with more ease and efficacy? The point is, you get to where you want to be as fast as you can, that way it’s easier to move onto other, similar, ‘puzzles’. It’s also more impressive if you can solve a lot of these is a short amount of time. But that takes practice and dexterity, plus some foresight and experience.
However the most important thing to remember is to ALWAYS warm up your ... hands, among other body parts, before you jump into the event. You don’t want any activity-related strains or injuries, it’d put you off the market for when competitions for the pecking order come around. What to do, ah what to do? A small one, or a biggie? In terms of ‘shape’ (bear with the metaphor), do you do a ‘cube’, a ‘tetrahedron’, a ‘dodecahedron’ or even, a ‘sphere’ :O ? Well, that’s if you can find ones in all those different ‘shapes’ and ‘shades’. Again, the internet is not useless here.
And then there’s always the question “what to do different this time”? Fortunately, I seem to always bluff off the planning for this last step and it works out fine anyways. It’s much more a spur of the moment thing. Do you go for speed, efficiency, ‘fewest moves required’? Hey, sometimes its better to forget about the stopwatch and lay back and ‘enjoy the ride’, if you get my gist. Eyes open, or eyes closed, whichever you feel is more appropriate. It felt like we could go all night, but I got tired.
The nice thing is, if you’ve done it right ‘dem bitches’ will always be right there next to you in the morning. Last night was special, and here’s why:
Let’s just say that if this was a sort of (class) field day, I competed in ‘MULTIPLE EVENTS’, in the same night. I’m Faztastic