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United States32432 Posts
The Chronicles of Naniwa: Fighting Dirty with Honor and Class
Being a Brood War aficionado, I haven't paid that much attention to the SC II scene since retail. TSL3 has been my only real window into that crazy parallel world.
As luck would have it, I would take a glance at just the right time, and saw something quite interesting. Now I won't say I'm an SC II expert or anything even close, but I do recognize total badassery when I see it. I'm talking about Naniwa.
The game that caught my eye was Naniwa vs Goody, Game 3 in the TSL. It's a short, under the radar type of game, and definitely not the most exciting game Naniwa has played. But after a little research, I found there was quite a history behind this game, one that gave it some real depth. If you've got a little time to stay and read, I think I can walk you through it.
I haven't talked to either player, but this is the story I managed to piece together. Sure, the details might be different in real life, but real life tends to be less cool than the stuff you can make up on the internet.
Act I: TL Open #9 - Replay - VOD
It all started at the TeamSpeak TL Open 9 (Goody and Naniwa had faced each other before during the 32nd Zotac cup, but it was just a standard series of games where Nani won with some pre-nerf Void Ray OPness).
As the first game on Xel'Naga caverns began, a stray thought, a tiny seed mischief, popped into Naniwa's head.
'Whoa I'm bored, I think I'll be a total asshole.' (It is well known that Naniwa is prone to this sort of thinking)
And so one of his starting probes went directly to Goody's base.
Now, Goody is a player who ALWAYS walls in TvP, and thus his first supply depot was right at his ramp. When Naniwa sent his probe into Goody's main after setting up a low-ground proxy-pylon, he knew full well that Goody was going to instantly realize something fishy was going on.
Naniwa didn't give a flying fuck. He got an SCV to chase his probe with a little harassment, and then continued to show his not-give-a-fucktitude as he built three gateways while Goody watched on.
Wait, what?
So, what is going on? Well, the way I see it, there's two major schools of being a dick. Let's say you get in a fight. If you follow the first school, you'll sneakily kick your opponent in the balls after pretending to fight straight-up. As anyone who's been surprised by a kick to the balls can verify, this is indeed a seriously dickish (pardon the pun) move.
The adherents of the second school, however, casually start a fight by announcing “I'm going to kick you in the nuts.” This is actually a deeper, more sophisticated way to be totally unlikeable than trying to get the jump on someone. The fear of getting punted in the sack affects the mindset of all but the most hardened opponents, causing them to lose their concentration and open themselves up for an eye-gouge, hair-pull, wet-willy or any other underhanded move. And all the while, you retain the original option to perform a swift kick to the balls.
Obviously, Naniwa is an adherent of the latter school. Though not exactly a proper gentleman of fine taste, Naniwa still has the decency to shake your hand and stab you in the face, instead of hiding in the shadows and shiving you in the back (don't you have more respect for the guy who's ID is 'sixpooleverygame' than the cruncherrandom guy who cannon rushes after playing normal twice?).
Meanwhile, this was all completely lost on Goody, who was too busy playing the game in normal, non-despicable ways to appreciate what his opponent was doing. Nine SCVs were sent to tear down the gateways, which wielded enough firepower to destroy the gates before a single zealot could be warped in.
Though he lost a considerable amount of mining time, Goody still ended up in a good situation with SCVs, a barracks, and marines against Naniwa's probes, pylons and nothing. It seemed that at least for one game, good (I couldn't help myself) would prevail.
I dare say my dear fellow, the Protoss looks vulnerable to a 'timing attack.'
Shockingly, Goody couldn't bring himself to attack a completely demilitarized Protoss with five marines and some SCVs. Naniwa's S-Class douchebaggery, though unable to deal any direct damage, had definitely taken its toll on Goody's psychology.
When Goody should have been thinking 'Fuck you bitch, I won't stand for this kind of bullshit,' instead he was trapped in a hypnotic daze of 'What.. what the hell was that??' Good gaming sense was lost on Goody as he remained in a trance-like state, doing some sort of uncharacteristic three barracks infantry contain. Laughing all the way, Naniwa gathered himself and landed the five knuckle sucker punch that is four-gate one-robo.
At least losing straight up to the proxy would have been less embarrassing.
After dropping game two as well, Goody found himself down 0-2 on Shakuras Plateau and facing elimination. It's often said your actions in dire situations reveal your true character, and if we believe that to be true, then Goody doesn't quite live up to his name. A shadow fell on Goody's heart, and a proxy barracks went up near Naniwa's main.
Boooo!! Hiss!!
Fast concussive marauders surprised Naniwa for a second, but shock quickly gave way to anger. At least his own cheese had been forthcoming and artful. What was this cowardly, amateurish effort? Infuriated by Goody's dishonorable action, Naniwa rallied his probes for an inspired defensive battle. Naniwa came out decisively ahead and won shortly after.
The story could have just ended there, with the moral being that an honest cheesy fucker beats a shifty cheesy fucker, but as chance would have it, the two met again a few months later.
Act II: Black Dragon League - Replay - VOD
By that point, the events of TLOpen were mostly forgotten for Naniwa, blending in with the countless past days of punking other nerds. When game one passed uneventfully (in a win for Naniwa), it looked for a moment at least, as if Goody was not harboring any hard feelings.
Lulled by Goody into a spell of complacency, Naniwa proceeded to open nexus-before-gate as the battlefield moved to Shakuras Plateau. Just as Goody had planned, as his innocuous game one hid the fact that he had a serious axe to grind. Other players may have tried to cut their losses after losing a prior cheese duel so decisively, but Goody went in the exact opposite direction.
A symbol of our times, where the moral fabric of our society has undergone a shocking degradation.
Directly, he sent an SCV to build a proxy barracks at the exact same location as their previous game on Shakuras. If you would allow me to use the same analogy twice: Goody tried to kick Naniwa in the balls, discovered that they were too hard, so he came back to kick him even harder.
One of those 'if we were at a LAN, I'd hit you with a chair' moments.
With Naniwa playing a greedy nexus first build, he was sent reeling by Goody's proxy reaper and marauder. Naniwa desperately tried to play catch-up, scrapping together a colossi + gateway army from his hugely disadvantageous start. However, it was Goody who was intentionally allowing Naniwa such a reprieve, for he was not content to just take the victory. Goody went beyond ordinary vengeance, by loading up his mecha-pimp hand with eight battlecruisers and giving Naniwa a resounding backhand smack.
No wait, THIS is the 'hit you with a chair' moment.
Intermission
Though he still lost the Black Dragon League series in the deciding game three, it was clear that this was a different Goody, one who was far more adept at making his opponent want to throttle him through the monitor. Only days before, this twisted and demented Dark-Goody had used his newly acquired powers to defeat NesTea in the TSL3. Incidentally, that win earned him an opportunity to face Naniwa once more in the future.
As for Naniwa, there wasn't much time to reflect on the games. Almost immediately, he had to depart on another international ass-kicking trip, this time to the United States for 2011 MLG Pro Circuit/Dallas. Still, he would not forget Goody this time, for one cannot let an insult pass so easily. He would merely put him aside momentarily, while he dealt with the silly Americans at hand. Even so, Naniwa could not keep Goody completely out of his mind, and he was careful to scout out all the possible proxy positions during the Dallas tournament.
Act III: PokerStrategy.com TSL3 - Replay - VOD
With Dallas conquered, it was time for Goody's day of reckoning. Naniwa came into the TSL RO16 not just to win, but to send Goody a message: Escalating this was the last thing you should have done (also known as “Shit just got real”). When Shakuras came around again, he was ready. Another proxy gate went up inside Goody's main, once more with full advance warning.
Know that I can't get over you 'Cause everything I see is you And I don't want no substitute Baby I swear it's Deja Vu
Why would Naniwa do this, when you consider that the only reason he beat Goody the last time around was largely due to luck? Surely there was a different rush Naniwa could have used, one that didn't rely on his opponent to make poor decisions? The reason was, as Naniwa understood well, there are some things you have to do, not because they're the right Starcraft strategy decisions, but because they're the right Starcraft MORAL decisions. And occasionally, that decision is to repeatedly cheese the fuck out your opponent (just ask Boxer, the highest moral authority on e-Sports).
Naniwa made a key adjustment to his build this time, shoring up the weakness to an immediate counter attack by making only two gates at the proxy position while getting an in-base gateway much quicker (by about 30 seconds). Once more, Goody pulled a large amount of SCVs to stop the proxy gateways, and again prevented even a single zealot from being warped in. After the gates were removed, Goody was more collected than during their first encounter, and confirmed Naniwa's modified build with an SCV scout and refrained from using his early marines offensively.
If Naniwa was any other player, he may have had second thoughts upon being presented this opportunity to turn back and play out a standard game with only a small disadvantage. More than generous conditions after a failed cheese, most players would think. Of course, Naniwa couldn't do that. Because how else was he going to prove that even after all the ethically dubious, sell-out improvements, Goody was still just a puppet dangling by strings from his hands? Confidently, he put a nexus up at his natural, and waited for the scouting SCV to pass by.
Let's pretend none of this stuff I'm making up is even remotely near the truth. Isn't it still hilarious that Naniwa is just doing whatever the hell he wants and is winning anyway?
Thus, even after parrying the first blow so deftly, Goody was made to dance. Against such a masterful scumbag, it may have been inevitable. His knee jerk reaction was to send out a handful of marines and SCVs to take down the nexus, a force Naniwa saw from miles away due to his control of the Xel'Naga watch tower. Naniwa was more than happy to let Goody take five SCVs off mining for an extended period of time, simply canceling his nexus when the troops came knocking. Without hesitation, Nani used the recovered minerals to add three more gates in his main, going for a four warpgate attack.
It would be funnier if Naniwa had a great villain accent, Russian or British or something. "No Mr.Goody, I expect you to cheese."
Seeing the canceled Nexus, Goody should have been very wary. But already, Naniwa had broken his composure and put him in that same catatonic “What the fuck is going on?” state from Xel'Naga. He mechanically went up towards a factory and expansion, the sense of timing and strategy once more departing him.
Once the proxy pylon went up below Goody's natural, there was no more need for tricks from Naniwa. For a player who four-gates busts through the most conservative openings, bulldozing through a fact-port expansion was barely even work. Shell-shocked and battered, Goody GG'd out.
Conclusion
True, in the end it was just a four-gate attack that finished the game, the most crass and disgustingly mass-produced Protoss strategy. But even something that is otherwise tedious and guileless can be made great and meaningful when executed by a master for the right purpose.
Similar to Jackson Pollack's work, Naniwa's play can look careless and haphazard in the unappreciative eye of a philistine. Unlike modern art, however, Starcraft II actually DOES take skill.
This wasn't some diamond leaguer's shoddily put together four-gate, used without an ounce of soul or feeling for the sake of 14 ladder points. It was the conclusion to a months long story of contempt and vengeance, requiring the intelligence and creativity of a true master to execute. Though theirs' was a duel of dastardly deeds, even Goody must have appreciated afterwards that it was beautifully done.
Anyway I've had this game stored in an old Louis XIV style frame, and I hope to get Naniwa to sign it when he next visits the Americas (although I am a little concerned he'll laugh, call it his worst game ever, and break the frame over my head).
Goody was last seen tearing through Europe in his tank, pillaging mountain villages. He is actually a pretty cool guy.
Naniwa went on to defeat Cruncher in TSL3, fending off a laughable proxy 2 gate rush. He may or may not have said "I don't expect a factual article from such a retarded person."
WaxAngel spends his days eating, sleeping, and thinking of fanciful but decidedly silly stories.
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That was a fantastic read. Happy birthday, you awesome Pokemon you.
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Wax you're the Mondragon of writing "I don't know a lot about SC2 trololol", and then go on to write a really cool article.
Happy Birthday sir!
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Haha, fantastic stuff... This is the sort of thing that makes this community so much fun. Also, happy birthday!
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Waxangel writing up SC2? <3
Edit. Oh, happy birthday!
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5/5 for that shit! Great read, you squeezed several honest laughs outta me.
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Russian Federation3631 Posts
Pure writing excellence. Hats off ~
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5/5, this rules, happy birthday, oh and PS naniwa is a straight boss. the proxy gate reminds me of how I play 4v4. I just send a probe out at the beginning of the game and start dropping pylons, gateways, forges, cannons, whatever I feel like in someone's base, often blatantly in range of their main structure
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Great writing. Thank you for taking the time.
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man, you are so fucking great
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5/5. Great reading.
Happy birthday Waxangel!! Don't expect a big party because the cake is indeed a lie. ^^
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Lol this blog is awesome.
Edit: Happy birthday also!
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Snorlax #1 writer left on TL!!!
It was cool to see you writing about sc2.
bw4lyfe
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Broke down laughing at the pictures swapping between the lone bunker and 4-gate destruction. Amazing read this blog needs to be sponsored asap. ^^
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Holy shit Wax I've always loved your writing and this was just fucking amazing. Laughed out loud way too many times causing people to wonder what I was reading.
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So entertaining, I never knew about the backstory but it seems Naniwa played the player, less the game. Happy birthday btw!
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this article is SO FRICKIN AWESOME <3
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took me a while to realize Chronicles of Naniwa was a play on Narnia
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The best blog entry ever. But I would not expect any less from waxangle.
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lol amazing, that last sequence of 6 pics going back to the loaded bunker at Nani's natural was great.
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Wow, what an awesome article! I didn't know about that history but it was during that last game I first understood that Naniwa was the real deal, a great rts master.
Thanks for a great read!
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Amazing stuff.
Happy birthday man. (or is it mon?)
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Great read. I applaud you good sir.
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Not a real fan of the storying telling approach but I do like the analysis and the talk about morale =D
Well done
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I kind of have a half done version of this for HuK vs. Idra but I got bored of it because it's just Idra beating Huk over and over. Still the most entertaining rivalry in NA SC2.
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Israel2209 Posts
I am so happy to see WaxAngel writing an SC2 piece of art. This was just great, I can't wait for future entries!
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On April 30 2011 05:31 Waxangel wrote: (don't you have more respect for the guy who's ID is 'sixpooleverygame' than the cruncherrandom guy who cannon rushes after playing normal twice?).
Is this the best part ? , I think so !
In all seriousness this was an amazing read and I couldn't stop laughing at your comments Well done
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what a story! also happybithday
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so amazing. i loved every word i read.
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this could easy be some kind of write-up 5 stars from me sir
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LOL. The row of pictures that kept cutting back to the bunker was hilarious. Happy Birthday, dude!
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awesome read, i like hearing background behind games, it makes them more interesting
also happy birthday!
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Naniwa still has the decency to shake your hand and stab you in the face, instead of hiding in the shadows and shiving you in the back (don't you have more respect for the guy who's ID is 'sixpooleverygame' than the cruncherrandom guy who cannon rushes after playing normal twice?)
Zing! So hard.
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Good story! Definitely had not had a thread to keep me that entertained for a while now. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you. Excellent read as always.
Happy birthday Waxangel
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That was too good. A great story that ended nicely. Loved it
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Very excellent read. Not usually a fan of these longer blogs, especially because they are usually about BW which I didn't grow up on =( But I thoroughly thoroughly enjoyed this one! kudos.
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No wait, THIS is the 'hit you with a chair' moment.
I laughed so loud! Great story!
edit: and Happy Birthday ofc!
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At first I was like "wtf wax writing scII?" then I read and loled.
Great write-up!
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I almost thought you had disappeared like so many other writers I came to enjoy reading on the site over the years... Great article wax.
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Amazing, simply amazing.
Happy birthday as well.
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That picture series with the lonely bunker had me cracking up. Great write up.
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Unlike modern art, however, Starcraft II actually DOES take skill.
Yeah sure -D lol
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Haha, nice read... hmmm I could make a cheerful but I got no time... Happy Birthday anyways...
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May your Birthday be even better then your blog, which would be pretty awesome. Thx. For the write-up
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Very entertaining
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you´ve done lots of briliant stuff, but this is way up near the top awesome
oh, and a very Happy Birthday
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Nice read! I laughed many times.
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Dude............ This is amazing. I laughed soooo hard.
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holy shit man that was amazing
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Well done Waxangel! Thanks
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laughed out loud 5/5 nice read and other glowing praise
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There's a thread here on TL titled "What is sc2 missing?" I now know what it is...Waxangels analysis of the game. Seriously, SC2 would have so much more depth if you covered it more often Happy b-day!!
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United States6003 Posts
nooooo not modern art T_T.
but i like the comparison. I'm liking naniwa now T_T
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It's been a long time since I've seen a thread encroaching on the quality of a Final Edit, so it's only fitting that it comes from Waxangel<3
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You had me laughing at "Let's pretend none of this stuff I'm making up is even remotely near the truth. Isn't it still hilarious that Naniwa is just doing whatever the hell he wants and is winning anyway?"
amazing write up, I hope this turns into a series on the dubious morals of Starcraft players :D
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That was brilliant. I'll resist the urge to take offense at your jab at modern art.
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These aren't the gates your looking for-Naniwan Kanobi
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Happy birthday sir, your posts are always awesome.
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Amazing article!
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You had me laughing at so many points in this article. Such a great read. Thanks Waxangel for the awesome post!
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WOW! Such effort... Really one of the best articles I've read so far! 5/5 from me Sir!
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hope you will do more in the future Waxangel
and HAPPY B-DAY <3
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Great blog man, happy birthday!
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Amazing writeup, Waxangel! I hope you'll write more for SC2 in the future. The final edits and articles here were a big part of me getting interested in SC:BW in the first place. Please keep writing!
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hahaha that was absolutely brilliant. Off to rewatch those games now!
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Best article for like a month.
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ALLEYCAT BLUES48898 Posts
lol nice Birthday BLog Waxy and you even managed to rickroll me.
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This totally happened. Nice blog!
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Hahaha awesome read! Really good work!. And happy birthday! :D
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I am pretty sure this article gave Naniwa more fans than his MLG run. Atleast it should. One thing is seeing a guy playing great StarCraft, another is beeing told by a StarCraft demi-god that the player is about as badass as one gets in this business.
Oh and happy birthday.
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I laughed for a good 5 minutes at the pictures with the filled bunker sitting at the now-gone expansion of Naniwa.
Awesome read, 5/5 !
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Wow that was the best writeup i've read. Amazing read! You should do more of these!
Also happy birthday =D
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Very good read. There should be more made up stories, since there are no real rivalries in sc2 going on, that are anywhere near bw.
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Nice story! More please! =) Would be cool to see a story like this before a match.
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OMG dude, I can't recall to have read such an awesome post anywhere ever! Happy Birthday! And why are you so cool? :> Still laughing.
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Germany3367 Posts
Happy Birthday!
Very nice read, i hope you´ll do more of that
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This is sick, thanks for this writeup, it's awesome.
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This blog is totally badass. Thanks!
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haha, amazing read
lol'd at that bunker forever alone
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Happy Birthday man, and that was a FANTASTIC read, really well written, articulate, and funny to! Please write some more in the future hahah.
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Great read. Very well done. That bunker full of marines lol
Happy birthday and sleep well.
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Hahaha I loved everything about that, so funny. Especially the 4 gate + lonely bunker pictures at the end, lol.
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Straight outta Johto18973 Posts
That was amazing. ^^
And Happy Birthday Snorlax!
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Wow. GREAT entry. Happy birthday to you and thanks for the well spent 10 minutes
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Pahahahahaha that was fantastic XD gjgjgj :D ^^
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Very cool. Love the psychology behind top level play.
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Holy shit Batman, this was awesome!
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Loved the article. Naniwa is one of my favorite players
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hahahaha, freaking hilarious.
good read waxangel, A+
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this is a good blog write up lol happy bday wax!
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Excellent read. When can we look forward to more?
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That was amazing!!
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Wonderful read, very entertaining thanks for the writeup!
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Great read, appreciate you putting the time in writing this.
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Man I am such a Waxangel fan now!
Such a good job pulling the story out of mass of games the average SC2 addict watched over the past weeks. I want you on the New York Times E-Sports section... whenever it comes about.
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Hahaha, weird to see you writing something other than BW stuff, but this was an awesome read. Happy birthday and thanks for the reverse birthday gift to the community!
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Will we have the Voyage of the Void Treader sequel?
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Lmao ty, this was awesome xDD i hope you do another if they ever meet again
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very cool, I just hope all your info was right!
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I want to print this out in the highest possible quality, give it a hard cover and place it on my non-existent coffee table.
NICE write up.
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Very nice read. Always a pleasure waxangel.
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I kind of ignored this as I thought it was just some form of recap, but ended up reading it today. Wow, so glad I did. Brilliant!
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Will there be more? Please! because i really enjoyed reading this.
Articles like this make Starcraft more than just a computer game, but actually a sport with dramatic and humorous moment
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Nice read. I had seen the TLopen game but I didn't think this story extended farther than that! Really cool.
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I really enjoyed reading this, usually I read about 1/4 of what's there and then scroll through the rest for pretty pictures but this was great. Naniwa is sort of seen as the villian of europe given his past record but there is no denying his skill.
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The Daily Hyren writes "A humorous and entertaining little story with a big heart." 5/5
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Happy birthday waxangel !
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Naniwa, the Charlie Sheen of SCII.
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wow, really impressive article
Just hope goody will pay him back soon
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I'm not gonna lie, that title made me laugh so hard that I just had to click on the article. Plus, it was an amazing read Snorlax.
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really great read, awesome topic 10/10
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On April 30 2011 05:31 Waxangel wrote:WaxAngel spends his days eating, sleeping, and thinking of fanciful but decidedly silly stories.
PURE WIN :D I love your sense of humor!
Such an awesome read, I enjoyed ! Gonna check the VODs asap!
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This made me :D.
Love naniwa... the writeup just made him even better!
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Great title, incredible write-up. I was laughing the whole way through. Thanks for making my day.
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This might be the funniest battle report ever.
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Fantastic article. Great insight and depth
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Hilarious & awesome. great read.
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5/5. Best article I've read in a long time. Great work Waxangel!
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This was fucking amazing. Naniwa inspires me. hehe
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lol @ Boooo!! Hiss!! Cs reference.
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Very well done, sir. I could not help but notice that your style of writing is of an even higher level than what I am used to from the notably good BW writeups and texts about player background and such that are all over this place, maybe I'll check the author's names on my fav articles(FBH!) again and see that you, actively writing for/about SC2 now may have taken it a few steps further.
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Great ready man. Looking forward to more posts like this
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Hehe awesome read man!
On April 30 2011 07:18 udgnim wrote: took me a while to realize Chronicles of Naniwa was a play on Narnia
Yeah it took my waaay to long as well -.- Probably because i read them in swedish as a kid tho.
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United States32432 Posts
Must be the first time in years that I've written about a white person.
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Epic.....So epic... I love you waxangel!
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ALLEYCAT BLUES48898 Posts
On May 04 2011 11:29 Waxangel wrote: Must be the first time in years that I've written about a white person.
Ha.
and how did it feel?
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Dear Waxangel,
My client, GEORGE LUCAS, of LUCASFILMS, would like to offer you the fee of US$100,000,000.00 (USD ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS) for the rights to the film version of THE CHRONICLES OF NANIWA. We feel it has exceptional potential at the box office to capture the hearts of ESPORTS fans as well as carve a path into the lucrative SOUTH KOREAN box office.
To confirm, please send: your name, address, contact telephone number, email, Skype, TL password, Social Security Number, bank account details via PM and I will give you the details for where you can deposit the $4000 confirmation fee.
Regards
Prince of Nigeria
PS Yep, your blog was that epic.
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AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! such a great read! Shucks i can't believe the Prince of Nigeria contacted you!!!! lololooo
PS- !!!!!!!!!!!! c|:^j
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"Unlike modern art, however, Starcraft II actually DOES take skill."
Thanks, that made me laugh for 5 minutes cause of how cliche it is. I was hoping something along the lines of "Like Pollock's paintings, Naniwa's play can appear random but it actually has order and thought underlying all his decisions", but I guess you had to take the easy route.
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Also, comparing the skill needed to make art and the skill to play Starcraft is kinda ridiculous.
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A good read, made me laugh and was interesting! ^^
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Holy cow, what a nice piece. I love the effect your guess work has on the whole story. Thanks for putting a light onto that one! :D
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I want more of these please!
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Finally finished this. Great stuff! Pretty hilarious. Goody seems like such a great guy, but I don't think his style doesn't seems viable for winning big tournaments.
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I'm so glad the "Best Of TSL3" linked to this post! <3
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United States32432 Posts
Naniwa told me that I'm BM, so I guess that tells you a lot about me =o
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love this story. waxangel give me more!
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ALLEYCAT BLUES48898 Posts
On May 13 2011 06:28 Waxangel wrote: Naniwa told me that I'm BM, so I guess that tells you a lot about me =o
hahaha,don't take him seriously.
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Amazing, was laughing through every bit of it :D
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Awesome read, enjoyed it. 5/5
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Happy birthday sir, humorous article. I liked how you showed Nani's 4gate is a thing of art and soul, also the modern art dig cracked me up. Cheers for the smiles and nice writing!
hype hype hype!
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Cliffnotes: Naniwa is a BOSS.
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One question Wax: why is this in blogs? o-O
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