|
I guarantee: UK blogs will come when I find a good way to imbed images. Advice?
OK, so this draws on my haircut blog. + Show Spoiler + The above is what my hair looks like. If you have advice, I'll take it here too =D
I was waffling about what to do, so I figured "oh, I'll just go to barber, get haircut, problem solved. I asked a couple friends where they went to get their hair cut. Twenty bucks seemed fairly expensive, but for only 10 bucks more than where I normally went, I figured it would be worth it, at least once, to get a reasonably good haircut, and a reasonable guarantee it wouldn't look like shit.
Note that my mom has cut my hair for 10 years, saving a ton of money in the long run.
So I decided on where I wanted to go. Said I would drive there. And then this happened.
That's right. I can't spend my own money to go to a legitimate 'not super clips'. I spent a long time arguing merits. Like
"if anything it would just make me feel better."
"everyone says the quality is great"
"I want a new hairstyle, I'd like to go somewhere where they know what they're doing"
"It's my own money"
etc etc etc.
But nonono. The quality is the same at a barber and at superclips, and it is just too awful expensive for me to go, so she has to protect me from myself.
This lead me to thinking about a lot of things in my life. My dad makes 90k per year. My mom could work for 150k+ but doesn't. (my god, I don't even comprehend how somebody like her makes that much) But incomes aside, the big complaint I have is spending money.
I know a lot of young people who don't have huge income, but save on some things, and splurlge on some things.
My parents never ever splurge.
I hate to attribute this, but when somebody has a shitton of money in the bank, and then refuses to get anything nice... ever... even when they could afford it without impacting retirement, it's sort of sad.
Both of my parents wear jeans and tshirt or Pink Tshirt Purple Sweats. We shop at Walmart.
We save our money to do what? I really don't know.
I think my parents need to find something fun to do. I don't think I've ever seen either of my parents remotely having fun. They never talk about being in a bar. My dad talks about college wistfully. My mom has ~ no friends. My dad has a few but hasn't seen them in 25 years. So not really.
Then they make life hell for other people by complaining how much life sucks, and how much they are sacrificing. Having done FAFSA they have enough money to splurge, and even it it was on themselves they would improve the life of the family substantially.
Money isn't happiness, but sacrificing for money then not using any.....
Essentially, my parents need to have fun sometimes. They are so uptight about everything that I have never really seen either of them have fun. Maybe we go to an amusement park and they have fun. But neither of them have ever engaged in adult activities like going to parties, or whatnot. My mom's idea of fun seems to be watching soaps and drinking non alcoholic beer.
Summary of rant: Fun is important. If you sit on a ton of money, but have no fun getting there, what was the point. My parents should get out more and try to make friends and do social activities.
|
Definitely agree. They are wasting their lives away spending all that time making money they don't use. I certainly don't believe anyone should buy everything they decide they want, but spending money for something specific that can bring a lot of joy through its use/experience is well worth it.
Bee tee dubs, I like this hairstyle a lot better than the last one. :D You look cute.
|
indeed. hair cutting is one of the great foes of a good life. it would be a pittance of our worth to spend our lives cutting hair in such a manner. The leaves on trees, doth they gather sand or silt or grey and brown leaves? It makes me smile with you in my face, and dance in the open fields to consider the love of trees and grass and leaves falling with the sun in the sky and blue paint dripping to our eyes as if the colours of the world grew through us. It's happiness I find when I'm with you here, under the shady trees. I don't have those wracking pains of the night that so beleaguer me to find you in the first place, though in the end it was well worth it my dear. Well worth it indeed.
|
Maybe saving money is fun for them? IDK. I don't think it is, actually, but I expect people kinda fall into it like a trap. You might be able to help them out of it by first suggesting things that don't cost money like a hike or something. Once you're out and about, splurging on a sandwich and a beer someplace is a lot easier than if you're at home trying to push them out to a bar. Even without the cash outlay though, you're probably helping them open up at least a bit.
|
I am actually similar to your parents. Except I have a cheap hobby (gaming). I save up money instead of spending it. I could easily buy a new computer/more games/a new ebook reader. I don't, there is no point spending the money.
I would work less hours if I was allowed to, sadly I can't and looking at other jobs seems to be roughly same hours more pay, pointless. :/
|
How old are you? You don't have to do everything your parents tell you to, you know. If it's your money and it's your hair, I don't really see what the problem is. It's their car and they won't let you drive it if they don't agree? Walk, bike, call a friend, take a bus.
Here's my advice: Grow a spine and stand up to your parents once in a while. You don't have to get into a fight and get thrown out of the house, but if you have to ask your mom permission to get your haircut at a certain place you have bigger problems than your parents leisure time. If you give them the option of making decisions for you, you will get your decisions made for you. Don't beg, don't plead, don't ask permission. Assert, Tell, Declare. Make a decision, not a request.
If you can't make your own decisions now how do you expect to become an adult who is able to pick a school and career for yourself?
|
if you want stylish hair, go to a hair salon.
|
90k to support a family of 3? Err, that's why your parents are frugal, dude. 90k total household income isn't that much in many big US cities. After tax, that's like 60ish, which isn't much nowadays. I'm not saying it's a small amount, seeing the average American income is like 30k a year per person I believe? But to support a family of 3, unless you live in a smaller city where living standard is relatively low, it's only enough plus a little bit to save.
|
Superclips gets a bad rap, but I've gotten my hair cut there for years and I've got some tips for you.
A) Call Ahead Set up an appointment, just like you would at a fancier barbershop. If anyone you know has been there, ask who cut their hair if they did a good job, and request that person for your appointment (you may have to adjust your time to match their work schedule).
If you do not know anyone who has been to Superclips, feel free to walk in. If you have a choice, you want the person with the second-best haircut themselves, who is over 35 years old and under 60. Make sure you remember their name. Ruth cut my hair for 4 years before I moved away, and she still does when I'm in town. Anderson Cooper goes to the same $15 barbershop he has for decades. Price does not translate to quality.
B) Shower Ahead Shower and Shampoo twice 1-2 hours before you go. This will make your hair easier to work with and will result in a better cut.
C) Maintain Conversation You don't have to tell your life story. But try to maintain basic conversation during the cut. Barbers who are engaged with their customer will usually do a better job. Have a generic, vanilla question or two in case conversation peters out. In the beginning, make sure you tell them that you want a fresh look.
D) Start Small You can always cut it shorter. And when they are done and let you review, don't be afraid to ask for touchups. Maybe your hair is still too thick on top (I have this problem a lot), or your neckline in the back isn't straight. This isn't an insult, actually it shows you are paying attention.
E) Remember them! Whether it was good, bad, or just ok, remember their name. If it was good, schedule appointments in the future with them specifically (this makes them look good to their bosses as well). If they were bad or just ok, don't be too shy to request someone different next time. A simple "You know, I wasn't completely satisfied with my cut last time ____ cut my hair, so I'd like to try someone different." is perfectly reasonable, though it will go over better through the phone for an appointment. (I've had to do this before).
If everything fails, just remember that in another few months your hair will need to be cut again, so don't get too worried about it.
|
saving money for a rainy day is good practice no?
|
Just don't tell her. Heavens, if I told my mom about everything I do, she'd probably have a heart attack^^ And yeah, that includes shopping, hairdresser and going out. Our parents are similar concerning money
|
On January 27 2012 20:07 iGrok wrote:
B) Shower Ahead Shower and Shampoo twice 1-2 hours before you go. This will make your hair easier to work with and will result in a better cut.
That's strange. In Finland the place i go they wash your hair with shampoo+conditioner and give you a head massage (though the place is expensive as fuck).
|
....can you like... spoiler.. those pictures the next time you make such a thread?
=/
|
On January 27 2012 20:55 Daray wrote:Show nested quote +On January 27 2012 20:07 iGrok wrote:
B) Shower Ahead Shower and Shampoo twice 1-2 hours before you go. This will make your hair easier to work with and will result in a better cut.
That's strange. In Finland the place i go they wash your hair with shampoo+conditioner and give you a head massage (though the place is expensive as fuck).
They do that here as well, it just costs more than a basic haircut.
|
Just go get the haircut... What is she going to do, make you go back and get the hair back? Take any potential shit you get from your mom and get on with your life - now looking a bit more stylish.
|
On January 27 2012 20:55 Daray wrote:Show nested quote +On January 27 2012 20:07 iGrok wrote:
B) Shower Ahead Shower and Shampoo twice 1-2 hours before you go. This will make your hair easier to work with and will result in a better cut.
That's strange. In Finland the place i go they wash your hair with shampoo+conditioner and give you a head massage (though the place is expensive as fuck). Yes, if you go to a decent salon they will do that as well, and at Supercuts or Great clips they will sometimes. However, because it is a cheap haircut place they do not usually do that, and if they do it is not a quality wash.
|
Your parents make that much and they don't spend? D:
They need to live a little, a lot. They earned it. As for your hair, it looks alot better without any gel in it or whatever you did to it in the other blog. But if you want a new hair style you actually have to grow your hair first, so theres something to style. Ya know?
I don't know how to convince your parents to start spending money, as people get set in their ways and are impervious to change.
gl
|
On January 27 2012 18:53 Sky101 wrote: 90k to support a family of 3? Err, that's why your parents are frugal, dude. 90k total household income isn't that much in many big US cities. After tax, that's like 60ish, which isn't much nowadays. I'm not saying it's a small amount, seeing the average American income is like 30k a year per person I believe? But to support a family of 3, unless you live in a smaller city where living standard is relatively low, it's only enough plus a little bit to save. Well, we're in the suburbs.
And 90k after tax.
And we're frugal on pretty much everything already, and dont use any of the income that we do save.
I also don't spend much, but I use the fact that I save a lot of money if I see something I really want/want to do, I can definitely afford it.
|
Calgary25938 Posts
15 year old with small income critiquing parents on budgeting. Fantastic.
People have different values. Your parents obviously value saving money. Don't look down at them for it. My family was also extremely frugal. My father worked extremely hard until he was 45. Then he bought a boat and works half days and joined the naval reserves, which was his dream. So now he can used the saved money to support my family through retirement.
While I wouldn't go as far as my parents did, I can see a lot of them in me.
Try to remember that your parents now aren't the same people as your parents when they were your age. Try to think about what they grew up with. They are probably more easy-going that their parents. And because you have a comfortable life you think "why are they so safe" without seeing what they've seen.
Anyways, your blog makes me sad. Don't be a dick to your parents and don't be a pussy either. Just go get a fucking haircut. Or stop blogging about it. Either one is acceptable.
|
^ Eh? Just because they are doing it one way doesn't mean that's the best way for them. It all depends on if they are happy or not. OP says that they don't have any friends at all, that's not healthy. And if they happen to be miserable doing things the way that they are then maybe they could use a change. Maybe they would benefit from one. You don't know one way or another because you don't see the situation so I wouldn't be so definitive with the "just let them do it the way they are" stance.
|
On January 28 2012 01:16 Chill wrote: 15 year old with small income critiquing parents on budgeting. Fantastic.
People have different values. Your parents obviously value saving money. Don't look down at them for it. My family was also extremely frugal. My father worked extremely hard until he was 45. Then he bought a boat and works half days and joined the naval reserves, which was his dream. So now he can used the saved money to support my family through retirement.
While I wouldn't go as far as my parents did, I can see a lot of them in me.
Try to remember that your parents now aren't the same people as your parents when they were your age. Try to think about what they grew up with. They are probably more easy-going that their parents. And because you have a comfortable life you think "why are they so safe" without seeing what they've seen.
Anyways, your blog makes me sad. Don't be a dick to your parents and don't be a pussy either. Just go get a fucking haircut. Or stop blogging about it. Either one is acceptable. 17 year old with small income critiquing parents on budgeting.
I value saving money. In comparison to friends, I spend very little of my income. (small income) I have probably spent just under a thousand dollars. Ever. i have around 8-9k in bank. Not really a large sum of money in the real world, but...
And because you have a comfortable life you think "why are they so safe" without seeing what they've seen.
Very valid point. Good way to look at it.
I think that my main complaint is that my parents complain about how they have boring bad lives. (must be inherited haha) but do little to nothing to address it. They say they have inadequate funds, but my mom does not seek employment.
aka they do the same thing I do in this blog.
They lament over what is currently going on, but in reality are doing little to nothing to stop it. I may be a pussy by not telling them to their faces, but it is a frustration that they feel perfectly validated to say that I have no social life, and need to find things to do. Especially when I was younger they were hardly ideal rolemodels. But when they themselves never spend anything, and never talk to anyone, I have to question those values. I wasn't even going to bring these issues up, I figured it would be a little irrational to bring it all up. But frankly this stems from hypocritical moaning coming from them. If you are willi
In one sense, things would be better if I just did things without asking. In another sense, I catch hell for it.
Summary: Saving is perfectly valid. When my parents point out my aunt and uncle, who are barely ahead of paycheck to paycheck, I too agree having added security from saving is nice. Long term it is certainly wonderful, and ideal, to save. When I first work, I plan to save. My frustration is that they bemoan our standard of living, but could afford, now and again, to treat themselves to something nice. My budgeting may not be the best, but when we have close to seven figures in the bank, having some steak or going to the movies even a couple times a year certainly won't break the bank.
Drawing upon my aunt and uncle, they were really truly happy people. Now, I certainly agree that the shit may will hit the fan when they try to retire, but that is a personal choice, and not something I feel comfortable about my parents criticizing. Hence, they may not feel comfortable with me criticizing their personal financial philosophy. Hence, this blog is probably stupid, as you said.
My mom did grow up fast. When she was a Senior in HS her father died, and she had to pay her way through college. This saving mentality, as is established in many baby boomers and soldiers during the war, is normal and probably healthy. My dad lived in a reasonably wealthy family in Boise Idaho.
All sorts of conflict happens in my house over money. My mom will say "I would like new doors, but we can't afford them." Dad knows that we can afford it, tells mom. Mom says she'd feel too bad and doesnt. Then complains we never got them.
But seriously, thanks for the criticism. Took me quite a lot more time to realize my true motivations.
|
In one sense, things would be better if I just did things without asking. In another sense, I catch hell for it. Might as well mean you get to know who you are and what you want while showing your parents that there's a way out of isolation. Just do it - you'll get out of it more mature and won't have to put the whole thing up in 10 years while explaining why you do this job or marry that girl. Being a teenager is the right time to do it.
|
I just think this is funny, because a few months ago, I actually spent a "whole whopping $20" on a real barber. Maybe I'm delusional, because I have no fashion sense in what looks good... But in my opinion, it was the best haircut to date. You should totally get a mohawk and freak your mom out lol
|
On the hair thing, just be glad you have straight hair man. I have curly hair, and I would do anything just to have normal straight hair.
|
On January 28 2012 14:32 hunts wrote: On the hair thing, just be glad you have straight hair man. I have curly hair, and I would do anything just to have normal straight hair. I have a cowlick, but that I am.
|
On January 28 2012 10:36 Froadac wrote:Show nested quote +On January 28 2012 01:16 Chill wrote: 15 year old with small income critiquing parents on budgeting. Fantastic.
People have different values. Your parents obviously value saving money. Don't look down at them for it. My family was also extremely frugal. My father worked extremely hard until he was 45. Then he bought a boat and works half days and joined the naval reserves, which was his dream. So now he can used the saved money to support my family through retirement.
While I wouldn't go as far as my parents did, I can see a lot of them in me.
Try to remember that your parents now aren't the same people as your parents when they were your age. Try to think about what they grew up with. They are probably more easy-going that their parents. And because you have a comfortable life you think "why are they so safe" without seeing what they've seen.
Anyways, your blog makes me sad. Don't be a dick to your parents and don't be a pussy either. Just go get a fucking haircut. Or stop blogging about it. Either one is acceptable. 17 year old with small income critiquing parents on budgeting. I value saving money. In comparison to friends, I spend very little of my income. (small income) I have probably spent just under a thousand dollars. Ever. i have around 8-9k in bank. Not really a large sum of money in the real world, but... And because you have a comfortable life you think "why are they so safe" without seeing what they've seen. Very valid point. Good way to look at it. I think that my main complaint is that my parents complain about how they have boring bad lives. (must be inherited haha) but do little to nothing to address it. They say they have inadequate funds, but my mom does not seek employment. aka they do the same thing I do in this blog. They lament over what is currently going on, but in reality are doing little to nothing to stop it. I may be a pussy by not telling them to their faces, but it is a frustration that they feel perfectly validated to say that I have no social life, and need to find things to do. Especially when I was younger they were hardly ideal rolemodels. But when they themselves never spend anything, and never talk to anyone, I have to question those values. I wasn't even going to bring these issues up, I figured it would be a little irrational to bring it all up. But frankly this stems from hypocritical moaning coming from them. If you are willi In one sense, things would be better if I just did things without asking. In another sense, I catch hell for it. Summary: Saving is perfectly valid. When my parents point out my aunt and uncle, who are barely ahead of paycheck to paycheck, I too agree having added security from saving is nice. Long term it is certainly wonderful, and ideal, to save. When I first work, I plan to save. My frustration is that they bemoan our standard of living, but could afford, now and again, to treat themselves to something nice. My budgeting may not be the best, but when we have close to seven figures in the bank, having some steak or going to the movies even a couple times a year certainly won't break the bank. Drawing upon my aunt and uncle, they were really truly happy people. Now, I certainly agree that the shit may will hit the fan when they try to retire, but that is a personal choice, and not something I feel comfortable about my parents criticizing. Hence, they may not feel comfortable with me criticizing their personal financial philosophy. Hence, this blog is probably stupid, as you said. My mom did grow up fast. When she was a Senior in HS her father died, and she had to pay her way through college. This saving mentality, as is established in many baby boomers and soldiers during the war, is normal and probably healthy. My dad lived in a reasonably wealthy family in Boise Idaho. All sorts of conflict happens in my house over money. My mom will say "I would like new doors, but we can't afford them." Dad knows that we can afford it, tells mom. Mom says she'd feel too bad and doesnt. Then complains we never got them. But seriously, thanks for the criticism. Took me quite a lot more time to realize my true motivations.
I do have to agree with Chill on one thing. Just go get the damn haircut. If you can't get to it, just lie and say you're going to supercuts or whatever, and don't. You don't have to listen to them. Just do what you gotta do to live your own life. You're 1 year away from joining the army, holding a rifle, and getting paid to shoot people 5000 miles away. Not that I suggest you do that (please don't) but if as a society we think you can handle that much responsibility, you can be trusted with your own money and a goddamn haircut.
|
On January 28 2012 14:32 hunts wrote: On the hair thing, just be glad you have straight hair man. I have curly hair, and I would do anything just to have normal straight hair. why would you rather have straight hair?
|
Balance is the key to everything.
|
|
|
|